I was happy. Very happy.
A part of me was waiting for the happiness to run out. To burn out, but every day was better than the day before.
The last two months had flown by and changed everything.
Alex’s plan for this attraction we had going on worked like a charm.
I felt like I was wrapped in a cocoon of euphoria.
I was still however waiting to hear the last rule.
“I’m happy Eilesh. At the start of the year I never imagined I could feel like this.”
“I know and I worried about you. Summer, what are you going to do? You can’t tell me that this thing with you and Alex isn’t something worth holding on to.”
“I accept that it is what it is.” It was better that way. I still held in my mind that he didn’t do relationships so I didn’t want to push and spoil things.
“The way he looks at you is unreal. You guys look like love.” She giggled.
“If he heard you say that he’d probably run a mile.”
“No, I know what I’m saying.” She looked at me with determination. “He really looks like he’s into you.”
Into me. Geez. Alex had done everything to show me that he was exactly that.
He’d spoilt me rotten, completely rotten.
He’d also started inviting me to go to his family’s Thursday night dinners. I still remembered the anxiety I felt for the first visit and meeting his mom who turned out to be truly lovely.
She spoiled me too by taking me to the spa and shopping.
Dare I say it.
This was starting to feel real. Like a real relationship.
I guess though that it was.
It felt real to me and …I was completely into him.
How could I not be?
“He’s good to me.”
She smiled a soft smile but then cast her eyes down ant the vinyl on the floor. I got the impression that she had something more to say.
“What?” I smiled.
“Nothing, it’s just I wanted to tell you something, but sometimes it’s not always the best time.”
“It’s always a good time. Are you kidding? You’ve been there for me whenever I needed you. Always.” I pointed out.
She brought her hands together and smiled. “I wanted you to know that you had me. I knew how important Tom and Becca were to you, and that when you didn’t have them it must have been like you lost everyone.”
“I didn’t though. I always had you.” I nodded. “Tell me, what is it?”
She pressed her lips together and gave me a little smile. “Cody and I are thinking of starting a family.”
I gasped, and gasped again when I looked at the cocktail. “Eilesh we just had cocktails.”
“I know. It’s fine. I’m not pregnant. I’m just saying we may be soon.” She laughed.
I was so happy to hear that. “Oh my goodness. This is the best.” I threw my arms around her and hugged her. “Why wouldn’t you tell me this?”
She looked hesitant to respond and I immediately guessed why.
“It just felt like the wrong time because of all that happened with Tom and Becca with the whole pregnancy thing. I didn’t want to add to your worries.”
That was what I thought. I shook my head. “I’m over it. I really am.”
“Are you?”
“Yes. It was raw when I first found out but I don’t feel like that anymore. It just feels like a thing that happened to me, something I want to sweep under the rug.” It felt good to be strong, to feel strong inside.
“Did you ever hear from Becca?”
“No.” I never expected to and I probably wouldn’t ever again.
I changed my number after that last time that Tom called. I knew that it meant severing any possibility of either of them contacting me.
They knew where I’d lived back when I was at my old horrible apartment, but that was it. And, it was all they needed to know.
“Do you ever think about her? Or wonder if she fight feel bad about what happened?”
“Knowing Becca she’ll be more upset that Tom wanted to get me back. She won’t feel bad for anything.”
That was classic Becca. As for thinking about her, I couldn’t say that I didn’t. I didn’t have a single childhood memory that didn’t include her. We had some good times when we were little, the best at summer camp and at school.
She changed though at some point and I failed to see it. When I thought back now I think the change came when we were about sixteen and we both liked the captain of the high school football team.
It was the typical case of two teenage girls crushing on a guy. She knew that I liked him but she made sure she got him first. It went to her head.
Tom came along the following year, moving in from Florida with his family. I sensed that she liked him, but he liked me more.
Those things were snippets of what was to come.
“You miss her?”
“No. That part of my life with her and Tom is closed.” Like a case that had been given the final verdict. “Some things are best left in the past. You were right about time and healing. I’m not completely there yet, but I’m in a better place. And…I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you. That means a lot. I’m a little scared. Cody and I have been married for three years. He’s always wanted a family but I wanted to wait. I think a part of me was waiting for something bad to happen to us to break us up. Hasn’t happened yet.”
“And it won’t.” I knew a strong relationship when I saw it. “Cody treats you like a queen and worships the ground you walk on.”
“Thank you. I know a guy who does the same for you too.” She raised her brows and glanced sideways towards the large French doors that opened out to the garden.
I looked ahead at Alex, he’d just handed a hammer to Cody .
The bright afternoon sun beamed down on him lighting him up in the way that always fascinated me.
He must have felt my eyes on him because he turned and looked at me.
“And, there’s the look.” Eilesh pointed out with a soft chuckle.
I couldn’t talk down any of those points because it was true.
If anyone were to ask me how I felt when I was with Alex, I’d say that he looked at me as if I was important to him, and that he treated me like a queen and made me feel like I was perfect. Like an angel.
He made me feel like I belonged to him.
And always would.
Chapter 23
Summer
We knew the week ahead was going to be busy so we tried to squeeze everything into this weekend.
Friday was Devon’s court case but Alex had started to get antsy about it from last week.
He was like that at work a lot, and tried not to be at home, but I’d caught the worried look on his face a number of times.
We’d spent the last few hours flying and decided to finish up at the little coffee house near the apartment.
We sat outside, enjoying the late afternoon sun. The table we chose was right by the canal that verged off to a stream the ducks had become fond of. It reminded me of somewhere European.
He looked out to the shimmering water with a faraway look in his eyes.
“Alex.” I reached forward and took his hands.
He turned his head and focused his attention back on me.
“Yes, angel.”
Like always I marveled at how the sun shone on his eyes turning them colorless. It was he who looked like an angel.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m good.”
“Liar,” I smirked.
He smiled and took hold of both my hands. He brought them up to his lips and kissed them. “I want to take you somewhere. Away. We should go away somewhere nice.” His eyes sparkled.
“The chocolate factory.” I teased.
“No.” He frowned. “I don’t mean like that. I mean on vacation.”
I giggled. “You’re too busy.”
“Not for
you. I’ll drop everything for you.” He nodded.
It was these moments that lifted my spirit to a state of warm bliss that I couldn’t ignore. I tried to push such feelings away to protect my heart but sometimes I couldn’t. Sometimes I just wanted to be the hopeless romantic that I was and relish in the beautiful, god-like man who’d worked so hard to be with me, and always made me feel like a queen.
Who could ignore that?
“Thank you. It means a lot that you’d do that for me.”
He kissed my knuckles again. “Where would you like to go?”
I laughed and thought of the prospect of this happening. “The Bahamas.”
“The Bahamas? I like that. We could be away for weeks.”
“Alex we can’t be away for weeks.”
“Why not?”
“I’m your PA. Who will manage the work? Plus people will know we’re away together. There’s no need to take me on vacation with you.”
“Oh my God, are you serious? Everyone knows we’re dating.”
Dating.
He’d never said that before.
“We’re dating? Sounds relationshipy.” I chuckled and expected him to say something against relationships or whatever but he didn’t.
“Yeah I guess it does.” He looked down at the square patterns on the table.
I tried not to think about what would happen when we burned out. It was there in my mind, but I’d decided I didn’t want to consume my thoughts with it.
I liked that we took each day as it came to us, and that every day was so different. Like an adventure.
“We can go away if you want. I’m saying yes.” I brought the conversation back to focus.
“I’ll take you to The Bahamas. We can go for three weeks or something. They’ll manage at the office.”
“Okay.”
“Besides, I need to take every chance I can to spend with you. I’m sure you can, and should, start applying to firms soon. You look more settled. You’re talented and you shouldn’t let your talents go to waste.”
Every time we talked about me and work I felt this sense of guilt weigh in on me.
He still thought I was working with him because it was an easier job to cope with while I dealt with the loss of my father.
When I told him that all those months ago I never saw us being like this.
“I appreciate that. I do.”
“It’s true. You should get back out there, or I’ll keep you for myself at Sullivan’s.” He gave me a wink and grinned, but the light in his eyes receded to that lost look again. “That’s if I ever get the partnership.”
“You will.”
“I don’t know. I actually don’t know.”
I wasn’t sure why he would say that since he was doing all the things he was supposed to.
“Okay, I’m breaking the rules.” I announced and pulled my hands away.
“Don’t you dare.” He chuckled.
“I am, screw the rules for a few minutes. Plus you came up with these rules not me.”
“Angel, you agreed to them. This is sacred time, any second we talk about something else is not time spent together.”
“But it is.” I stated, and reached for him again. “We’re allowed to talk about the real world on a minimal level. I want to know what’s bothering you. I don’t like seeing you so miserable. You’re different and it’s like your suppressing something.”
“I don’t like being restrained, and I’m that guy who’s so outspoken that it gets me in trouble even when I’m right. I work too much on impulse and instinct. Not everybody likes that.”
“But you don’t care what people think.” I reminded him.
“I don’t generally, but there is one person who lives outside that box for me.”
“Your father.” I surmised.
He nodded.
“Alex, tell me what’s happening. Let’s take a minute to talk. I think that since we’re dating we can at least open the door to sharing our worries.”
He laughed. “Okay, I won’t go into details though.” He pulled in a slow breath. “I’m worried that when it comes down to choosing I won’t choose to do the right thing. I’ll choose me.”
Now that was an interesting thing to say.
“Well, if you know that could happen just make sure you do the right thing.”
“I don’t know if it’s that simple. It could mean repercussions for me. There’s only two things that have ever mystified me this much.”
“That’s specific?” I gave him a little smile.
“Yes. Getting the senior partnership has been something I worked for my whole life. I didn’t think it would be this hard for me.”
“I think it will all work out.” I squeezed his hands. “I really do.”
“It’s the how that bothers me. The case has taken the meaning out of it. Preston never had to do anything like this, and if you’d seen how I managed the Cartwright case you’d know how I feel.” His cheeks flushed.
This was the part where I would have loved to share how hard I worked at Ashfords only to lose everything. But I couldn’t.
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, or thought he’d fire me. It had gone past that and was more the fact that I’d kept it hidden for so long. It also looked like I’d taken steps to hide it and with Eilesh being my friend that added to the guilt.
“Don’t worry about what Preston had to do, or that it’s different for you. Sometimes having to go through more makes you stronger. I know it’s easy for me to say, and it’s not me having to go through it, but from what I’ve seen so far you always seem to do the right thing.”
He looked grateful for my advice and support. It was the best I could offer right now.
“Thank you.” He gave my hands a gentle squeeze. “Come here, angel.” He tugged on my hand, pulling me to stand.
I moved over and lowered into his lap, placing my arms around his neck. He held me, bringing me closer and pressed his face against my chest. I wished he would give me more details about whatever was troubling him.
“I need you.” He breathed against my skin.
“I’m here.” I stroked his hair.
He looked up at me with that appreciative look again but there was something else. It was that spark I’d started seeing recently. The same look Eilesh highlighted.
It reached out to me.
“Summer.” He whispered my name with adoration.
I ran my hands down to his chin and across the stubble on his chin. “What else mystifies you Alex Sullivan? You said there were two things. Is it that weird cheese you bought at the supermarket last week? I swear I saw you staring at the ingredients for a good hour before you decided you’d use it.” I thought I’d try to cheer him up.
It seemed to work because he laughed. “No, I was just interested to see how they smoked it in the earth with the chili peppers. That’s not what mystifies me Summer.”
“What is it then? Many things mystify me. You’re lucky you’ve been able to narrow yours down to two.”
He held my gaze and smiled. Taking my hand, he guided it to his lips and kissed it again.
“You.”
“Me? What me?”
“You mystify me.”
Me.
“How? Am I that hard to work out?”
“It’s not that.” His smile widened. “It’s the fact that I’ve never met anyone like you, anyone who made me feel like this.”
I searched his gray eyes trying my best to hold on to that line I’d drawn under our relationship. Attraction.
This thing I had with him was supposed to be exactly that. A thing.
Something that would come to an end when we burnt out.
When he said things like that and considered us dating it was hard to think of myself being without him.
“What do you feel?”
“Everything.” He breathed.
The first thing that I’d ever noticed about this man was the intense effect he could have on me.
&nb
sp; Strong and powerful, undiluted emotion always surged through me. Right from that night when I first met him.
“Everything?” I asked trying to keep my heart from racing.
“Have I scared you? You look scared.”
“No, I’m not.” That was perhaps a lie. Giving into my feelings did scare me, but now that I thought about it I saw that I’d given into my feelings well before now. It was the day we agreed to this arrangement of ours. When I accepted his offer and our rules of attraction. “I feel everything too.”
My answer wasn’t one just to return the sentiment. It was indeed how I felt.
Truly.
He cupped my face and brought me down to his lips for a sweet, soulful kiss. One that reflected the ripple of desire, and emotion that surrounded us. I felt it move through my entire being, filling every cell in my body with new life. When he pulled back I felt heat escape me, and lost without his lips on mine.
I moved in for another kiss, playful this time and did that thing he did where he tugged on my bottom lip.
“Sexy as hell baby.” His voice was husky with a sexual desire that mirrored my own. He pulled back again and chuckled.
“I want you.” I whispered into his ear.
“Jesus, angel. We need to get inside now before I take you here.” He gave me another quick kiss. “Let’s go. Looks like we’re attracting an audience. This guy is clearly jealous of me.” He motioned his chin and looked over my shoulder.
I twisted slightly to look and froze in place, my heart practically leaping out of my chest.
Fury almost choked me.
The person watching us wasn’t just some guy.
It was Tom.
Chapter 24
Summer
“What’s wrong?” Alex asked.
I looked back to him and pressed my lips together tight, holding in the anger.
What the hell was Tom doing here?
“Summer.” Alex shook my arm. “Who is that?”
“Tom.” I sighed.
“Fuck, what the hell?” Anger immediately replaced the tranquil look Alex sported only seconds ago.
It seemed fitting that the minute I started to appreciate what I had with Alex that tom would come and ruin it. Like a reminder that of what could happen to me when I opened my heart.
The Rules Of Attraction Page 23