by Ruby Rowe
“Have you changed your mind about sleeping with me? I’m still for it,” she says coyly.
“Not happening. Remember, I prefer strays. They’re wilder.”
“I’m trying to be.” Sailor’s voice is timid, but her hypnotic eyes reveal what her body’s craving.
“And I’m teasing about the strays. I plan on having you in my bed before the weekend’s over. Right now, I think we need to get out of this hot tub before we overheat and my dick shrivels up.”
I kiss her head. “Don’t think that wasn’t amazing for me. The way you looked when you came is forever branded on my brain.”
“I’m glad I’m here.”
“Same.” Trying to be gentlemanly again, I get out first and hold a towel up, blocking my view from her as she climbs out. I wrap it around her, wishing I could see her body on the other side.
Yes, I’ve slept with a lot of women. There were only a few I kept around, and only one lasted longer than a few months. I’m twenty-eight, and I’ve never told a woman I love her.
Asking Sailor to stay the whole weekend happened because I thought it would give me redemption. I’d do something nice for Rebecca’s sister, which might help me move on, too.
Sure, Elliott pardoned me years back, but after meeting Sailor, that’s no longer good enough. I see now how her personality was shaped from that tragedy and loss.
She’s overly cautious, somewhat untrusting and still carries pain the way Elliott does. Now, I feel responsible for some of Sailor’s heartache, too. I need her forgiveness like I needed Elliott’s.
The variable I wasn’t expecting is that I want her here for another reason. I like her. A lot. Shit, noticing she’s staring up at me, I grasp her shoulders.
“You should get some sleep. It’s been a long day,” I say.
“Yeah, I should. Would you mind taking me to get my car in the morning? I need to go shopping.”
“I can tag along, unless you want to be alone.”
Her eyebrows lift in amusement. “Since when do guys want to take women clothes shopping?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. I’d suspect it’s only this guy, and once again, it’s a first for me.”
“How about this. I’ll go shopping for clothes in the morning, and in the afternoon, we can shop together for all the smaller things I need like toiletries and stuff. We could grab dinner afterward.”
“That works for me.”
“I guess we should go to bed.” Taking hold of my arm, she leans up to kiss my cheek. “Thank you for today. I suspect without you, I would’ve been curled up in a ball on a hotel bed, crying all day.”
“I don’t want that, so you stay here as long as you need.”
The corners of her mouth lift into an alluring smile, and the sight makes me want to kiss her lips again. Damn, I want her in my bed, too, but I have to be patient.
What if she wants nothing to do with me after finding out about Rebecca? I’m ashamed over how it all went down, but I was young and immature. I’m not that foolish guy anymore and would never make the same mistakes again.
Elliott
With the back of my arm, I wipe the sweat from my forehead and stare down at the dead twenty-year-old male below me on a stretcher.
“Follow me now, Dr. Roberts,” Dr. Raynard says sternly, but I can’t pull my eyes away from the addict I couldn’t save. I didn’t become a doctor to lose patients. I did it to save people and gain redemption, if that’s even possible.
“Dr. Roberts, I said now.” Huffing a breath, I take a brief glimpse of the female nurse standing across from me, who’s fucking staring at me awkwardly. I turn around and follow the ER’s attending physician down the wide hallway and into an empty exam room.
“You’re going home.” Crossing her arms, she leans back against the counter in the room.
“I’ll get it together. I swear.”
“Your head’s not clear. If it was, you would’ve considered the consequences of administering that many repeated doses of Narcan to that patient, a combined large dose.”
“I thought it would bring him back.”
“What you didn’t think about was how if you had administered even one more dose and his family then ordered an autopsy after he died, they could’ve questioned whether it was the high level of Narcan in his system that killed their son rather than the opioids.
“Your career would be over before you’re out of residency. I know we can push the limits with that medication, but if I hadn’t stopped you, I can’t help but wonder if you would’ve surpassed it.”
Straightening, she uncrosses her arms, and it pushes her tits out in front of me. It’s the only attractive feature on her body.
Dr. Raynard is almost six feet tall and built like an Amazon. Now in her late thirties, she was once a star point guard for Columbia University.
I respect her greatly, but I think she plays it too safe, and she believes I’m too reckless. It’s hard for us to find middle ground.
“I should’ve stopped to think.”
“Wrong. In the ER, we make split-second decisions, and you already knew when to stop the Narcan. You let your ego and heart make the decision, not your brain.”
“My heart has nothing to do with this.” I scowl at her.
“Then you better deflate that ego of yours. You’re not God, so stop trying to be. You’re not staying until Sunday, but you can stay until tomorrow evening. Then, you’re going home to rest.”
She leaves me alone in the room, and I close my eyes. Taking a few deep breaths to calm the anger coursing through my veins, I open and close my hands. If I pound my fist into something, I’ll be forced to leave today, and I don’t want that.
What I want is to not feel coiled so tightly, like a snake about to strike. I need the pressure off my chest, but every time I manage to shove it off me, guilt spackles another heavy brick right back on, reminding me that the way I feel is warranted.
I often think of it like the Ghost of Christmas Past, but in my situation, she has no plans of allowing me to let go of the guilt. It’s not my choice.
She won’t let me wake up and change the future. Yeah, it’s a she. I know her face. I see her little sister’s, too. A girl I stole everything from.
CHAPTER TEN
Sailor
My phone rings, so I reposition the bags in my hands to dig it out of my purse. Carrie.
“Hi, girl. How are you?” I ask.
“I might need a script of Xanax if I have to stay at my parents’ house much longer.”
“It’s only been a day.”
“I know, but they’re determined to talk me out of moving to Hawaii. It’s exhausting. Where are you? I need an excuse to leave.”
“Stop. You’re not going to drive almost four hours back here to see me, and I’m at Saks, trying to replace some of my clothes, purses and shoes.
“I figured I could knock out a lot of items here in one store. They’ll hold me over until I have more time to shop.” Balancing my phone in the crook of my neck, I pull a top off a rack.
“Yeah, I’m supposed to do that today, too. How’s it going with your parents?”
Hurrying to hang the shirt up, I straighten and hold my phone. Shit.
“Um, I didn’t stay with them … or at a hotel. I ended up at Jake’s.”
“Shut. Up. You did not.”
“I did.” I grin as I recall my time with him in the hot tub.
“I don’t believe you.”
“I swear. My parents are in Europe, so he invited me to stay with him. I slept in the guest room.”
“Oh, so nothing happened.”
“No, stuff happened. Not everything, but more than kissing.”
“Holy shit, I said baby steps.”
“You know how reserved I am, but he’s hot as hell, witty and kind, so once I had a couple of beers, I was ready to give it away.”
“Damn, I’m proud of you. He might be what you’ve needed after all. See, maybe the fire happened for a reas
on for you, too.”
“Maybe.” I recall what Jake said about that word. “I’m supposed to stay again tonight, but I think I should move to a hotel tomorrow. His brother-in-law is a realtor and said he’d help me find something more permanent.”
“You sound different. Happy and hopeful already. Be careful, Sailor. Staying over with him for two nights was not what I had in mind when I suggested baby steps.”
“I know. Me, either, but strangely it feels right, and that’s a first in a long damn time. I think I should roll with it.”
“Who are you?”
“The friend you’re not going to judge. Tell me it’s OK. I need reassurance from someone.”
“It is OK as long as you’re still cautious.”
“I always am. Now, go play nice with your mother. We’ll talk soon, and I love you.”
“Love you, too, and keep me posted.”
Hanging up with her, I shove my phone in my purse and attempt to get a better hold on my bags. I should’ve had them delivered to Jake’s.
Jake
“Did Saks have to close their doors once you were finished?” I ask Sailor as I help her carry bags inside the condo.
“Ha ha. No, there were plenty of clothes left. Remember that I need to replace an entire wardrobe.”
“I can’t believe you’ve already shopped for six hours today. Are you sure you want to go back out?”
“Not particularly, but I need to. Your whore baggies aren’t going to cut it.”
I chuckle. “Whore baggies?”
“Yep, and I’m not OK with using them. That’s not what I am.”
“Neither were the other girls who stayed before you. I don’t pay for sex, and neither does my roommate.”
“I was trying to be funny.” Sailor takes a winded breath. Women are odd creatures, breaking a sweat from shopping.
“It worked, but for the record, our housekeeper makes those up. They weren’t my idea.”
“That makes me feel a touch better. Do you mind helping me take this stuff up to the guest room?”
“Not at all.” I follow Sailor up the stairs, and setting the bags down, I see how neatly she made the bed this morning.
“I have to change before we leave. I’m ready to get out of the outfit I wore yesterday. It’s no wonder my feet hurt. I don’t normally wear pumps like this to go shopping in, but I’ve got several new items now.”
“I’ll meet you downstairs.”
I wait on the couch, and about ten minutes have passed when Sailor reappears. Holy hell, she looks incredible, and as I get up, I can’t help but check her out.
She’s wearing this short red dress that’s off the shoulders, but it’s not skin-tight like dresses I’ve seen women wear at clubs. It’s, what’s the word … sweeter-looking, like her.
I imagine kissing Sailor’s bare shoulders and undoing each button that goes down the entire front. It hangs loose at the bottom, not snug on her legs, but that only means it’d be easier to slip my hand underneath.
Realizing how long I’ve been checking her out, I clear my throat.
“Where would you like to go?” I ask.
“Somewhere not stuffy. I go to enough of those places. This weekend is all about change, right? And I didn’t want to tell Maddie, but I do need some school supplies, more like stuff teachers use. I had a lot of that stored at home.”
Recalling something Thatcher told me recently that surprised the shit out of me, I laugh.
“I know the perfect place.”
***
“Why in the world are we in New Jersey?”
“You’ll see in a minute.” Glancing over at Sailor, I catch her smiling with curiosity. Are surprises and excitement non-existent in her world?
I pull into the parking lot and start laughing.
“You brought me to a Walmart?” At least there wasn’t that tone of disgust in her voice I’ve grown accustomed to from women. Sailor’s is more like astonishment.
“Have you ever been to one? Thatcher told me he hadn’t, and it blew my mind.”
“No, I haven’t, either.”
I shake my head. “Unbelievable. You’re not going to find your expensive shampoo or makeup in this place, but I thought it’d be fun. You could at least get school supplies.”
“Honestly, I’m kind of excited.”
“Yeah, that enthusiasm won’t last long, but I’m still taking you on an adventure, which I never thought I’d say about going inside a Walmart.” Turning off the engine, I look over at her. “All right, Teach. Let’s do this.”
Sailor follows me in, and taking hold of her hand, I lead her to the side opposite of the grocery section. She’s looking all around, and I have to stifle a laugh over how nervous she seems. I direct her to the toiletries first.
“I swear I’ll take you somewhere else to get what you need.”
“No, I want to find stuff here. I heard the prices are cheap.”
I laugh, and she looks over at me. “What’s so funny?”
“Compared to Madison and Fifth Avenue, yes, Walmart is cheap.”
She turns down an aisle that has stuff like blow dryers and things to put in her hair. Her eyes scan everything before they grow round as saucers.
“No way. These prices can’t be right. I’m going to need a cart.”
“Are you serious?”
She nods. “For sure.”
“OK.” I walk out of the aisle, and spotting a lone cart sitting empty, I grab it and take it back to Sailor. She’s already holding several items in her hands.
“I need all new barrettes, fancy bobby pins and hair bands. Look at this.” She holds up a pack of ponytail holders. At least, that’s what Maddie calls them. “Two dollars and five cents, Jake. I get one hundred hair bands for two bucks. That’s crazy.”
I laugh. “You’re cute when you’re excited.”
“I’m buying one of almost everything.” She starts throwing stuff inside the cart. An older lady walking by wrinkles her forehead as she watches Sailor grab shit like it’s The Hunger Games on Black Friday.
A blow dryer, curling iron, and something that straightens hair, which I don’t understand since Sailor’s hair is straight, are placed in the cart next, but I’ve never claimed to understand women.
We might be in here a while, and this isn’t what I expected. Damn, I’m falling for Sailor even more now. She likes a bargain.
“Oh, my gosh, I can’t wait to see the office supplies. I’ll be able to buy my class so much stuff. Can we look at the toys, too? I want to buy Maddie a stuffed animal. Do you think she can keep from telling the other students that I bought her a present?”
“I think so, but you don’t need to buy her anything.”
“Yes, I do. She wanted my penguin, and had it been any other toy, I would’ve given it to her. The guilt will eat at me if I don’t buy her something.”
We stroll to the toys, and as Sailor fills up the cart and I push it, I start noticing something. Couples are doing the same damn thing we’re doing, and it hits me that we look like one, too. I mean, only committed couples go cart shopping, right?
She picks out about twenty books, a stuffed animal and some puzzles, and once we reach the aisle with the office and school supplies, you’d think I chartered a private jet to whisk her off to a tropical island.
After taking one look at the long aisle, she wraps her arms around my waist from the side and squeezes.
“Thank you. I swear I don’t normally get this excited about shopping, but being here with you is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.” Letting me go, she blushes. “Well, besides last night.”
“You’re welcome, doll, and last night was awesome.”
Once she fills the cart with enough school supplies to stock her own private store, Sailor puts her hands on her hips and looks around the spacious building.
“I think I should stop. I’m getting tired, and I’m sure you’re ready to leave. I’ll check out the rest of the place another time.”
“I see why you’re a teacher. I think you could make any activity fun. You take all the time you need.”
“I’m starved. Let’s eat dinner, and it’ll be my treat this time.”
Sailor
As Jake drives us back to the condo, I scroll through the images on his phone. He told me to type in People of Walmart on Google, and I’ve been laughing hard ever since.
I only saw a few odd-looking patrons while we were in the store, but maybe there were more. I was a little preoccupied with the limitless bargains before me. Hell, I might’ve been the one standing out. I did feel overdressed.
Unable to stop yawning, I lean my head back against the seat.
“Dinner was delicious. I have the best time with you,” I mumble before I close my eyes. The next thing I feel is Jake’s fingers skimming over my thigh. He rests his hand on top of it, and my heart flutters.
I’m instantly awake, but I keep my eyes closed as I try to calm my nerves. He grazes his fingers right to left along my skin, and I feel the hairs stand up on my arms.
“You have nice legs.”
“I have short legs.”
“Short but shapely. You’re petite. I like it. You’re not short and built like a can of corn.”
Slinging my head back, I burst into laughter. “A can of corn? I’m dying. I’ll never look at the vegetable the same.”
“I’m happy you find me entertaining. I won’t tell you what I think about your breasts then. While I was touching them, they reminded me of a fruit.”
“Jake! Now, you have to tell me.”
“Nope. Not happening. It’ll be something for you to ponder since we know how much you like to think.”
“You’re a mess, and I feel like we’ve known each other forever. Does it feel that way to you, too?”
“Don’t be sticking me in the friend zone. I want no part of that shit. Do I need to move my hand a little farther up your skirt?
“Should I make you get out of the car and walk? I’ve heard guys stay out of the friend zone by treating women like shit. I should tell you to ease my restless third leg syndrome, right?”