by Ruby Rowe
Climbing back on the bed, he wastes no time thrusting into me. I arch my body as he fills me, and leaning over, Jake whispers in my ear, “Watching you … hearing and tasting you was hot as fuck. Never have I seen a woman get lost in the pleasure the way you did.”
Pulling back, he thrusts inside again and again, his trim hips propelling him forward. We get into a rhythm, and he stares down at me until the pleasure seizes him, too. Clenching his eyes shut, Jake breathes heavily through his nose and climaxes.
Mesmerized by the impact his orgasm has on him, I watch his crimson face, the way his nostrils flare and how his shoulders bunch.
Once his orgasm subsides, he lowers to his forearms and peppers my cheeks and the corners of my mouth with kisses.
“That was awesome,” he says.
“I concur.”
He rolls off my body and pants in opposite time as me, and I’m wondering what I should say about the sleeping arrangements. “I’d like for us to sleep in here together, but only if you want to.”
“I’d love to sleep in my bed with you unless you’re gonna boot me back to the couch like a stray after using me for my sensational body and tongue aerobics.”
Giggling, I roll to my side and cover his chest with my hand.
“You make me laugh. I like it.”
He kisses my head. “I like you, Teach.”
Sailor
Opening my eyes, I try to focus on my surroundings. I remember I’m in Jake’s room, but rolling over, I see I’m alone, and there’s a note on the bed.
I’m sorry. I got called in to work, but I’ll be back by lunch. Please, don’t leave before I’m home.
—Jake
Nooo, I can’t stay locked up in this room all morning. I’m thirsty and hungry, and I’ll need some of my things from upstairs if I want to get cleaned up.
Groaning, I stare at the ceiling. I have to face this. If I want to spend time with Jake and he wants the same, I’ll have no choice but to see Elliott sometimes.
Coming face to face with him was shocking, but after having last night to dwell on it, I decided to move forward. I’m not about to let Elliott ruin my future like he did my past.
Jake might be my chance at happiness, and a certain asshole isn’t messing it up. I’ve spent enough years of my life haunted by him. He looked and sounded pissed to see me last night. What the hell did I ever do to him?
Maybe he and Nicole will be gone, or they’ll stay in his room the entire time I’m out of Jake’s. I can only pray I’ll be that lucky.
My tank top and lavender pajama shorts are thin, but they still cover me like a summer outfit, so I pee in Jake’s bathroom, run a brush through my hair, wash my face and brush my teeth.
That’ll have to do until I can shower. I smile over how Jake thought to bring my toothbrush and pajamas down last night. He’s sweet.
Cracking the door open, so I won’t make much noise, I pad out of the room and down the short hallway. As I get closer to the living room, I hear the TV going.
Shit. I stop and debate on turning around. The last thing I want to see is Elliott and his girlfriend curled up on the couch.
This is why I don’t change my routine or let people in!
Rubbing my temples, I find the courage to keep walking. As soon as I enter the room, Elliott’s eyes dart to mine. He’s stretched out on the couch like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
I try to speak, but the words won’t come out, so I hurry past him and straight into the kitchen. I open cabinets until I find a glass, and after filling it with water from the refrigerator door, I drink it.
“Jake asked me to check on you.” Jumping, I don’t turn to face him. My body trembles as I contemplate what to do. “Sailor, talk to me.”
“I’m fine. I don’t need watching over.”
“He didn’t want you to feel like you had to leave. We didn’t want that. I’m sorry I was rude last night. I was surprised to see you. Shocked was more like it.”
“Same.”
“Please turn around.”
Setting the glass on the counter, I face him and stare into his icy irises. They hold the past and his pain, a steely sheet of rain blocking the vast blue ocean I remember. There used to be joy and hope in them, but they look frigid now.
He’s handsomer than before, broader and manlier. Discovering that he’s admiring me as much as I’m admiring him, I look to the ground.
“You’ve changed. I mean, you’re a woman now.”
“I think that’s the same for every female who’s twenty-five.”
I brave a glimpse of him, and one corner of his mouth curves into a smile. Wearing striped pajama pants and a white t-shirt, he leans against the doorframe with his arms crossed.
“I won’t leave without seeing Jake, so you can go do whatever it is you’d rather be doing.”
“You’re angry. I keep wondering if you hate me even.”
“I’m not talking to you about the past.”
“But I have a lot to say.”
“Really? That’s funny, seeing how you didn’t care if you said any of it for the last ten years.”
Exhaling loudly, he looks at the ceiling. His blond hair shines from the kitchen light, and his notable facial features are more pronounced than I recall: a chiseled jaw, the high bump at the bridge of his crooked nose, and ghostly, deeper-set eyes.
“I wanted to reach out to you, but I was a coward. I’ll admit it.”
“While you were being cowardly, I was forced to be braver and stronger than any young girl should ever have to be.” The memories begin to return, and I can’t take it as I hear his name over and over. It’s as if all the Elliotts I said to myself over the years are being whispered back to me.
Covering my ears, I hurry past him, but he grabs my arm and brings me up against his hard body before I can protest. I push on his chest to get out of his embrace.
“No! It’s taken me a decade to even attempt to find happiness. You’re not setting me back another ten years.”
“If you’d talk to me and let me apologize, maybe we could both move on. It’s especially important if you’re going to be spending time with Jake.”
Furrowing his brow, he looks over my head, which isn’t hard for him to do since he looks about six feet four, and I’m a foot shorter. “Do you like him?” he adds.
“I haven’t known him long, but so far, yes, I like him.”
“Jake’s my friend, but he’s not good enough for you.”
Feeling enraged, I point my finger at his face.
“You have a lot of nerve judging him or thinking you know what’s best for me. Take a look in the mirror, and remember your past.”
“There’s not a single day I don’t, and I hate what I see.”
“I can’t do this.”
“Let me apologize.”
“It won’t fix my broken pieces or give me back all that you stole.” Leaving him alone, I run to Jake’s bedroom and slam the door.
Falling onto the bed, I bury my face against the pillow and sob. The pain is inconsolable, the memories not erasable. How will I lock it all back in the box?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Jake
I get home, and I’m eager to see Sailor. There was a murder overnight, and so my day started off as a downer. I would’ve preferred waking up to morning sex with Sailor any day over examining a crime scene, especially when the victim was a young woman likely killed over the assailant wanting her purse.
We’re assuming that was the motive since no handbag was found, and her body showed signs of a struggle after being discovered in the parking lot of a restaurant where she worked.
Even though I hear noises coming from upstairs, I check my bedroom first, and Sailor isn’t there. I can’t find her anywhere downstairs, so I go to the second floor.
Elliott’s door is shut, and I find Sailor in the guest room alone, rummaging through shopping bags she has resting on the bed.
“Hi,” I say.
“Hi,” she replies without turning around. I walk to the other side of the bed so I can see her face.
“Is everything all right?”
“Yep. I’m combining all my stuff so it’s easier to carry when I leave.”
“Look up here.” She reluctantly makes eye contact with me. “Something’s wrong.”
“It’s Sunday. Time for me to go.”
“You talked to Elliott, didn’t you?”
She breaks her gaze and returns to messing with her purchases.
“Briefly, but talking to him isn’t going to help. He’s a reminder of a past I’m determined to forget.”
“Is that why you’re hurrying to get the hell out of here?”
“I was supposed to leave today.”
“I was hoping I could convince you to stay.”
“Why would you want me to do that?” Finally, she stops and gives me her undivided attention. Her eyes are watery, and I wish like hell I’d known seeing Elliott would upset her this much. I would’ve prepared them both.
“I know you have the money to leave, but you’re already here, and we have plenty of space. I don’t like thinking about you being alone in a hotel.”
“It would be a luxurious hotel, and I’ve never lived alone. I need to get used to it.”
“Stay until you settle on a permanent place. Look, I can’t explain it. It’s nothing I’ve wanted with any other woman, but I like having you here. The condo even feels different with you in it … better.”
“It’s not like me to agree to something this fast, and what will Elliott think about it?”
“I told him this morning that I was going to ask you to stay, and he was cool with it. Most days, he’s at the hospital, and I stay at Brad’s every other weekend to care for Maddie. You’d have the place to yourself sometimes.”
Walking to her side of the bed, I turn her by the waist to face me. “I got called in for a murder this morning. It was fucking depressing, like always, but thinking I could come back here and spend time with you made it more tolerable. You laugh at my jokes, and I love looking at your face.”
She smiles bashfully. “That, right there. Your smile makes my day. You wrapped me around your finger in seventy-two hours, and you weren’t even trying. That’s some impressive shit.”
“I don’t like all these feelings I’m having. They scare me.”
“I’m fairly certain you like some of what you’ve been feeling.” I reach down and squeeze her ass as I press my lips against hers. I might be pushing my luck.
“Think about it while I go shower. Then, let’s grab lunch, where I’ll use my charm to convince you to stay.”
I’m being selfish, but I have this need to be near her, and the honest guy I am can’t ignore it no matter how on edge it makes me.
Sailor’s sticking around while we figure out if this connection between us is something more. She needs time with Elliott, too, to get to know him as someone other than Rebecca’s boyfriend. We both need forgiveness, which means Sailor needs to stay.
Elliott
Hearing the knock on my bedroom door, I get off my bed and open it. I’m surprised to see Sailor staring back at me, gnawing on her lip.
She’s gorgeous. Way prettier than her sister was, and I didn’t think that was possible. Rebecca was a knockout.
“Hi. What do you need?”
“Jake asked me to stay here until I find a permanent place. He claimed he ran it by you first, and I trust that he did, but I wanted to be sure he didn’t pressure you into agreeing. He’s quite persuasive.”
“He can’t pressure me into shit, especially in my own damn home. I agreed because I felt it was the least I could do after everything that happened. He doesn’t want you to be alone, and he insists you have no one else. I admit … that last part was hard to believe.”
“When I left my parents’ home, I didn’t go back. I guess you were delusional and thought my last years of high school would be all rosy, or some shit, but that wasn’t the case. I killed my sister. Do you think I got a welcome reception when I returned to school?”
Grabbing her arm, I yank her into my room and swing the door shut behind her.
“What are you doing?” she asks rudely.
“I don’t want Jake to hear. Don’t say you killed Rebecca. We both know that’s not true.”
“Yeah, well, everyone else thinks I did, and they’ll go to their grave believing it. After a while, I believed it myself. It’s all I’ve known, and you weren’t around to remind me differently.”
She leans back against my closed door and gazes up at me. We’re so physically close, yet I feel like I don’t know her. Sailor used to be kind to me. She looked up to me–loved me even.
Now, she looks at me like I’m the devil, and I have to change that because I fucking hate how it makes me feel.
I clutch her chin. “I should’ve never let you take the fall. I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I was young, afraid and stupid, and although I knew it would change your life, I obviously didn’t know how much so.”
“That’s what you think I’m mad about? How you let me take the blame for Rebecca’s death?”
I swallow, and the coward I am looks away.
“I know that’s not the only reason.”
“You abandoned me, Elliott, and I waited. I waited years for you, thinking you’d come back for me.” Her eyes well up with tears, and it crushes my soul.
Lifting her chin, she clears her throat. Huge tears fall to her flushed cheeks, but she pretends they don’t exist. “There’s no excuse you could give me to make what you did OK.”
I do have an excuse, a reason, but I can’t tell her. I can’t fuck up her head more than I already have.
“I didn’t come to your bedroom to give you the chance to apologize or explain yourself. I came here to be sure you’re fine with me staying in the guest room, which I’m only doing for Jake.”
She shakes her head, and I notice the way her silky jet-black hair sways over her thin, delicate shoulders. “You don’t know how reserved I am. How by-the-book I’ve lived. This isn’t like me to let a guy sweep me off my feet, but Jake’s doing just that.
“Maybe I’m foolish, but it’s the first time in a decade I’ve done anything risky, so I’m going to be brave and take a chance on him.”
I slam my hands on the door at each side of her head, startling her. Staring up at me bravely, her lips quiver.
“You’re going to get hurt. Jake fucks chicks, and they leave the next morning, usually pissed over something idiotic he’s said or done, or they’re gushing over him because they think he’s going to call again, when actually, he’s forgotten their name before the elevator door even closes.”
“He says I’m different.”
I eye her lips. “You are different, but it doesn’t mean he won’t fuck it up. I want you here so I can ensure he doesn’t. I’ll break his limbs into a dozen pieces if he hurts you, and the sixth precinct will need another homicide detective to identify his body.”
“You’re being ridiculous.” She crosses her arms. “You haven’t spoken to me in ten years, yet suddenly you want to babysit me? Stake some claim on me?
“Well, here’s a news flash; aside from my friend Carrie, I’ve had no one since you left me in the Hamptons, so I don’t need you butting into my business or acting like you suddenly care. I’ll be sure to stay out of your way, so you stay the hell out of mine.”
Sailor shoves me in the chest, so I step back and let her leave. As soon as she’s gone, I throw a punch at the door, causing the wood to bust open and sliver. I look down at my knuckles and examine the blood on them.
Being a doctor, it’s vital I don’t injure my hands, so I need to get my shit together. I wish I could tell Sailor the reason I haven’t contacted her all these years. Maybe then she’d forgive me, and I’d finally get these heavy bricks off my chest.
Sailor
After having tossed and turned throughout the night, I continue to think of how Elliot
t’s right down the hall. What was I thinking by agreeing to stay here?
Shutting off the alarm clock, which was about to go off, I turn on the lamp on the nightstand. This room is depressing.
The furniture is nice, a solid light oak set, but the comforter and curtains are chocolate brown and the sheets a drab tan. The walls are bare, too. It looks like a room their buddies would crash in after a wild night of partying.
I miss Carrie. I miss my girly apartment. I miss how wonderful I felt before I walked down the stairs and saw Elliott a couple of days ago.
I guess I better call the insurance company today since I had renter coverage. I need to call Brad, Jake’s brother-in-law, too, so he can start the process of finding me a place.
Sighing, I get out of bed and gather some clothes and toiletries to take to the bathroom. I tiptoe down the hallway, praying I don’t have to face Elliott before I even shower.
He had some nerve last night, acting like he’s my overprotective big brother. Screw him. I grow angrier by the second just thinking about it.
As I shower, I can’t stop replaying my talk with him. Sure, Elliott apologized, but he did it after he was forced to see me. If he had it his way, he would’ve gone his whole life not talking to me, so it’s hard to believe he’s sincere.
I shouldn’t be here. I didn’t want to disappoint Jake, so I went along with his request, but the more often Elliott’s around, the faster I’ll be trying to get my own place.
Once I’ve showered and dressed, I walk back to the bedroom and slip on my dress flats. As I put in a pair of earrings I was wearing the day of the fire, I notice my penguin sitting on the dresser.
I skim my fingers over the anchor necklace Elliott gave me the day of Rebecca’s funeral, and the sadness returns. This is how it’s going to be.
The painful memories will fester the longer I stay here. All the grief will be drudged up, and I can’t allow that to happen.
Swiping tears from my eyes, I walk downstairs and head to the kitchen. I think I hear Jake’s shower running, but the second I see Elliott standing at the coffee pot, I know I can’t wait to tell Jake goodbye.