by Patti Larsen
“All we need is balance,” I said. “You three could give me that.”
Trill looked down at her hands. “We're no balance for you,” she said. “We have maji blood and sorcerer. But you are maji, Syd. You need another of your kind and you know it.” She met my eyes as I fought the truth yet again. “One of the dark.”
Craptastic.
“Tell me about them.” Maybe Trill's experience with the dark maji could help me figure out a way to make working with Ameline more palatable.
Not likely, but worth a shot.
Trill leaned in again, toying with her noodles while Apollo helped himself to a second round and Shenka smiled at him behind her hand.
“You're not going to like it.” Trill took a sip of water. I knew stalling when I saw it. She finally spoke, voice quiet and deep. “They are like me, like all maji descendants. Born of the blood, of the original maji who created our plane. But they are... different.” Sounded like an understatement. “Not all maji had the prosperity of the races they made in mind. Some focused on acquiring power instead.”
Familiar scenario. “I guess it makes sense,” I said. “Every barrel has bad apples.”
Trill leaned forward and took my hand. “There's more,” she said. “Because their focus is power, they have goals of their own. Ours, as you know, is to bring balance. Theirs is the same, but through control, rather than freedom.”
“Let me guess,” I said, unable to keep the wry bitterness from my voice. “They want to rule the world.”
“Every world,” Trill said.
Typical bad guy crappola. They needed a new song and dance because this one was getting old fast.
“While they intend to take that control for themselves,” Trill said, “they've agreed to join forces with old enemies to position themselves more carefully.” Owen made an unhappy face, blue eyes blinking at me. Trill set her napkin aside, one hand on her stomach as though suddenly nauseated. “They fully intend to betray their allies, to make their own grab for domination, but, for now, they work with the Brotherhood.”
Oh, that was just all kinds of awesome, wasn't it?
“Which means, if I do free Ameline,” I said, my own stomach clenching, cutting off my desire to eat anything ever again, “I'm handing her over to the bad guys. The real bad guys.”
Trill shook her head. “I don't think so,” she said. “From what I understand, they are waiting for some kind of leader, a power to come. A maji like them. But dark. Syd, I really think if you free Ameline, they will leave their alliance with the Brotherhood. Which will mean two forces, ours and theirs, against our real enemy.”
“And that,” Apollo said with a smirk, “is what you call a kick ass plan. Ka-pow, sis.”
Was he for real?
Trill scowled at her brother. “It's a theory,” she said. Met my eyes again. “But I'm certain I'm right.”
Sure enough to risk it? I trusted Trill, of course I did.
But this was Ameline we were talking about.
“So, say this is a good idea,” I said. “That somehow I am able to free Ameline and we fight the Brotherhood and everything is sunshine and butterflies and unicorns pooping rainbows.” Owen snickered at me. “What happens when the war is over and it's us against them?”
Trill didn't say anything, just looked miserable.
Yeah. Thought so.
Bad idea.
“I don't think we have much of a choice,” she said. “Can you talk to your mother? Have Ameline released?”
Shenka dropped her fork, the rattling sound making me jump. She smiled apologetically and shrugged. “You met the Enforcers?”
Trill looked back and forth between Shenka and I. “I thought they were there to protect you.”
“Not quite.” I shoved my plate aside. “Mom isn't exactly herself these days. Or listening to anything resembling reason.”
Trill's face fell. “Then we're lost. First, the Sidhe. Then whoever their next target is. Without balance, without the light and the dark, this war is already over.”
***
Chapter Fourteen
I stared at the dark canopy over my bed while my mind twisted and turned in so many directions I didn't think I'd ever put the jigsaw puzzle of my thoughts back together.
Trill and I went to the Sidhe Gate cavern after dinner to see Liam. She was able to pass through the wards at my side, Charlotte grumbling on my other, but when it came to the Gate, it was as Trill feared. While she could pass through, her power practically vanished as we stepped across the barrier and into the realm
“I can't function here,” she said, turning to run one hand over the bubble between worlds, Liam watching from the other side. “And I doubt my brothers could, either. We simply don’t have the right kind of power.” Her eyes met mine, her face tiny and elfish on this side, reminding me more of a pixie than Sidhe. “And there’s no way of knowing what kind of impact we would have. Possibly negative.” She shuddered, hugging herself as a breeze rippled over us from the storm, a crack of lightning and a rumble of thunder seeming to agree with her. “Probably negative.”
And even Liam kyboshed the idea of making Trill and her siblings Sidhe.
“I hate to admit it,” he said, standing very close to me when we crossed back, the warmth of his body so near I wanted to hug him, “but Trill is right. The only way this will work is with another full maji.” He led me, reluctant and irritated, to the archive after closing the Gate, Galleytrot panting as he walked beside me, fur warm and spring fragrant under my hand. Liam ushered me to a seat across from his big, elaborately carved desk and set a book in my lap. It weighed more than any book I'd ever held, pressing my legs down into the velvet cushion while Liam sat next to me, Trill leaning in to peek over my shoulder while Galleytrot stood facing me, eyes flickering with red light.
“I can't read it.” Okay, so that came out petulant. I think I earned a little attitude, thanks. And it was true. Whatever language this book was written in, none of my alter egos recognized it.
Wait. I was wrong. I had seen it before. In the maji chamber.
“This is the language of the Creator,” Liam said. As always, his voice took on a tone of excitement when he talked about one of his books, even though the message was grim. “It says what Trill's been saying all along. Balance is necessary. And that two maji, one of the shadow and one of the light, will stand against any disaster.”
Except freeing Ameline would be a disaster. Of monumental proportions. So monumental, I'd probably have to run for my life after abandoning my family magic.
Hell on a pocket rocket.
I did what any sane-minded woman would do. I ignored them both and went home. Locked myself in my room and sat there for a long time, staring at my reflection in the mirror, begging someone, anyone to come along and tell me, well sheesh, Syd, we're sorry, but here's how you fix it. No Ameline necessary. Didn't mean to worry you like that.
I knew better than to delude myself. Still.
I just didn't think I could convince myself to act.
A peek out the window behind my heavy curtains showed me the Zornovs parked almost in the back yard again, out of sight of the street and tucked away, safe. I felt the Enforcers on my border, still patrolling the edges. The very touch of them drove my temper to spike all over again.
The need to lash out at them was so strong I had to shake myself. Get a grip, Syd. This wasn't their fault, or Mom's or anyone's, no really. Except the Brotherhood.
And the damned maji who abandoned us to this mess in the first place.
That was better. Aiming my fury at the maji and the Brotherhood made me feel like I had targets worthy of my rage. I took a long, hot shower, letting the sizzle of the water burn away at me, wash free my anger and leave me calm.
At least, that was the plan. So, why then was I lying here, an hour later, still fuming and thinking and tearing myself to pieces?
I missed Sassafras, knowing he was probably out looking around. He took his job of prote
cting the coven as seriously as Shenka did. Sucked. I could have used his steady purring to put me to sleep.
Finally, weariness caught up with me about midnight and I felt my eyelids sink, my breathing steady, though the spiraling thoughts in my mind didn't still.
***
I stand in gloom, an empty place, alone. But I know this place, have seen it in a different way, full of witches and demons, vampires and Sidhe, fighting the Brotherhood. The battleground stands vacant, silent, cold. I hug myself, jaw clenching as a bright light forms next to me and she emerges.
The maji Iepa looks the same, if sadder, her lovely face creased with grief, long golden hair hanging over one shoulder as she comes to stand beside me. Her crystal clear eyes, such a light shade of gray they are transparent, sweep over the dull landscape.
I know it. And not just from the battle.
I know it because I've been there.
This is the Enforcer plane. My stomach lurches, body tense as I spin, looking for the stronghold. But it's nowhere to be seen.
Iepa nods, sad. It is. She bows her head. There is so much to tell you, and yet so much I can't, not yet. She takes my hand in hers while I start to shake. And things aren't happening the way I intended.
Well, that's a shame. I thought I knew what anger was. Nope, not a freaking clue before this moment as I stand there, the maji woman clinging to my hand, telling me she can't give me what I need and that she's screwed up.
Sydlynn. Iepa's tears glow on her face, tiny rivers of iridescence. Please, you must pay attention. I hate hearing that phrase from her, Gram's favorite.
I am. I jerk free of her grip. You're the one whose mind is wandering. Consider. I begin ticking off points as Trill had earlier in the night, finding it satisfying for some reason. The Sidhe are under attack and I can't save them. My mother is being destroyed by the power of the Council and witches she's trying to protect. Another finger falls. Dark maji work with the Brotherhood to destroy everything. And you, you tell me I can't have answers. And that things aren't going the way you planned? A bitter laugh breaks from my chest, tearing at my heart. Just brilliant.
More tears from her, more grief. I'm trying, please believe me. She doesn't bother touching me again. It's taking time to convince the others. That we must act.
The others? The other maji? If they will step up they could handle the Brotherhood, Ameline, all of it. Hope rises, fraying around the edges. Where are they?
She shakes her head, golden hair fanning out around her. They will not listen. But I refuse to stop trying. Iepa shivers, looking out over the bleakness of the plane again. I swear to you, I will never stop.
So, no hope after all. I sag, anger draining from me, knowing I have to ask her if what I fear is true, but not wanting to give voice to it.
She saves me the trouble. You must free Ameline. Iepa nods once, firmly. While I understand your reluctance, if you are to save the Sidhe, she is your only hope.
Balance. I bite my bottom lip, soul shriveling at the thought of what I have to do, but finally knowing she's right.
Can I do it, even with the knowledge? Can I free Ameline?
I just don't know if I have it in me. Even for the safety of the Sidhe. Some things are just too big, too overwhelming to comprehend. Why this is so different, I don't know. Usually, I would simply do what needs to be done and deal with the consequences later.
Not this time.
You must help her develop her power. Iepa flinches from my flare of fury. I have to what? Teach her as you have learned. When the time comes, you must both be ready and you will need each other in the end.
Every single part of me rejects what she's saying. Fights her, fights my logical mind.
This can't be. Can’t. I'll never believe it, never accept.
And yet, I must. For the sake of my plane and all the others. With one last burst of rage burning through me, I back away. No. I've managed before. Iepa is following some rules of her own. And I work outside the rules. I make my own when it suits me.
This time will be no different.
I leave her there, Iepa staring over the future of our desolation, of the war we have to win, coming back to myself with my resolve firmly in place.
Ameline stays where she is.
I'll find another way.
I opened my eyes, teeth gritted as I sat up.
Gasped as a pale, once beloved face flashed into being inches from my nose.
“Syd,” Alison breathed, the musty air from her lungs real, tangible, as her ghostly echo settled in front of me. “I've waited so long for this.”
Fangs bared, a light of insanity in her eyes, my former cheergirl bestie lunged right for me.
***
Chapter Fifteen
My body thudded hard against the floor as I pushed sideways, pajama bottoms slipping over the sheets. Alison's ghostly form impacted the wall behind my pillow before she spun with a snarl, diving for me.
Fear spiked, adrenaline gushing rivers through my system as I shoved myself back, bare feet scrabbling against the carpet as my vampire roared in fury and threw herself into control of my body.
Everything turned white, glowing, as the essence of the undead extended my hands, a solid shield of spirit energy forming between me and the descending echo. Alison struck it with a cry of pain, bouncing back to hover, crouched on the edge of my bed like a cat waiting to pounce while I scrambled to my feet, vampire spirit magic still firmly between us.
She bared her teeth again, snarling, and I understood.
“You were going to feed on me.” I breathed the truth into the cold air, my room chilled by her presence and by the weight of the spirit magic my vampire used to hold her back.
“How do you know I haven't already?” The Alison who never should have been cackled her insanity, head tilting sideways, white hair spilling over her shoulders as her once blue eyes glowed with eerie light. “You sleep so pretty.”
No, my vampire sent, firm and fierce as my disgust and fear rose. I would know if she had.
I'd take that bit of reassurance, thanks. Cling to it like a lifeline as I shook and tried to gather my thoughts.
We have to capture her. My vampire wasn't just talking to me now as my demon and Shaylee both listened intently. She can't be allowed to escape again now that she's shown herself.
I'd thought her passed over, hoped that was the case. Knew I deluded myself thinking so. She took enough of the vampire essence the two times she attacked me, she was becoming something else. Something not quite ghost, not quite vampire. But from the way she licked her lips, stepped down from the bed and slowly circled me, a predator looking for an opening, I knew the blood she'd tasted gave her a hunger for more.
I should have destroyed her long ago. This was my fault. And my vampire was right. I had to do something about it.
The black blossom of my sorcery opened, humming, begging to feed. And while I knew it was probably the safest way, I couldn't bring myself to do that to Alison.
She didn't have the same compunctions. “This is your fault,” she snarled. “All of it. If you hadn't come to Wilding Springs, I'd still be alive, still be whole.”
Not really fair. “You killed yourself.” I felt my vampire reach for her, slow and insidious, the touch of my other powers backing her up. I didn't know what she had planned, but I trusted her to act while I kept Alison occupied.
Not Al. No. Think of her as an echo, Syd.
Make it easier to kill her.
“You did this to me.” Alison slapped her chest with both hands, the glow of her stolen spirit magic flaring. “I was popular. Rich. I had everything. And then you had to go and ruin it, didn't you?”
“You were my friend.” She shuddered as my vampire's magic reached her, jerked away.
“I wasn't,” she snapped. “You really think someone like me would be friends with someone like you?” Her laughter cackled through my room as someone pounded on my door. I sealed it shut with magic, not wanting Alison to escape, a
nd definitely not wanting Shenka in here with me.
Not until the echo was gone.
“You did something to me,” Alison said, whining voice falling into sadness. “That day in the bathroom, when you challenged me. You changed me, used your magic on me.”
I did no such thing.
Did I?
My mind flashed back years, to being bullied, to standing up against Alison in the bathroom at school, telling her how sorry I felt for her while her supporters abandoned her and I won.
I won, damn it. And I didn't use magic.
Doubt whispered. I wasn't in full control back then. Magic leaked out all over the place all the time, especially when I was under stress. But I couldn't have used power on her, would have known it.
Did I?
“Thanks to that day,” she spat at me while Shenka's voice was joined by Charlotte's, by Sassy's on the other side of the door, “I was broken. Different. I fought it, I wanted to be me.” She squeezed her hands against her chest. “I wanted to go back, but I couldn't. And knowing I wasn't me, that I became some alternate Alison you wanted me to be, drove me crazy.” She laughed, high-pitched and hysterical even as she lunged, bouncing from my shield again. “You did this, Syd. You. I died because I couldn't live with what you made me.”
Holy. No. No, it couldn't be true, I loved Al, she loved me. We were best—
She's distracting you, my vampire growled. And, through you, us. She's lying. Using your weakness against you. You know it. Now focus.
I opened my mouth to deny her, to tell Alison she was wrong, had to be wrong, when a calm lassitude washed over me. She smiled, looking more like herself than ever, one hand extended.
“I'm sorry,” she said. “Of course it's not true. I need you, Syd. Can we be besties again?”
I wanted that, more than anything. Tears welled in my eyes, spilled over my cheeks, a happy feeling of needing her overwhelming me. And, as she drifted closer, I felt my hold on the shield slip, heard my vampire crying out to me, felt her bite me deep inside. Jerked from the pain, lunged just in time as Alison, her coercion attempt failed, dove on top of me, carrying me to the floor.