“Okay, I’ll make time to be there.” Chance wondered if Rachel would enjoy getting out of the house and being around other adults. They could take the boys with them, as there would be plenty of people around to hold and spoil them. He stopped himself as he realized what he was doing – he was already thinking of he and Rachel as a couple. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His brain needed to slow down!
“So, you thinking of seeing if the chemistry between you and Chelsea’s sister has anywhere to go?”
“Have you been talking to Shawn?” Chance demanded.
Seth chuckled, “Just for a few minutes. Anyway, don’t sweat it. From all that Chelsea’s told me, Rachel’s a great girl, she just got dealt a bum hand. She hardly ever speaks about her deceased husband, and Chelsea would love to see her move on.”
“I’ll see what I can do about that. She’s pretty amazing, but stubborn.”
“From what Chelsea tells me, Rachel has always been very independent and a take charge type of person. With the babies and then her husband’s death, she feels like she’s lost control of her life. Chelsea told me she had a serious case of postpartum depression about a month after the babies were born and has been having trouble getting her life reorganized since then.”
“She’s trying, I can tell. I think keeping up with two babies would wear anyone out. She’s definitely in need of some pampering and relaxation. I’m going to make arrangements to stick around for a while, at least until you all get home.”
“Great! We’ll see you in a couple of days then.” Chance could hear Chelsea saying something in the background and then Seth came back on the line, “Chelsea wants me to tell you that you shouldn’t listen to her sister if she tries to run you off. She seems to think that since her husband died, it’s her duty to remain faithful to his memory and live a lonely life from here on out. I guess what that means is that even if she’s attracted to you, she’s going to fight it if she’s thinking straight.”
“Tell Chelsea thanks for the tip, but I already figured that one out. Rachel wants to move on with her life, but isn’t sure she’d be doing the right thing. She piles the guilt upon herself for any moment of joy she feels.”
“Now you sound like a profiler. Don’t screw this up, bro. Think about how awkward family get together’s are going to be in the future if you and Rachel crash and burn and have to play nice in the sandbox for major holidays.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. See you in a few days.” Chance disconnected the call before Seth could issue any more warnings to him. He planned to take things as slowly as needed with Rachel. Yes – she had been through a lot, but he wanted to help ease her burdens, not add to them.
Chapter 10
After speaking with Seth, Chance placed a call to Shawn and let him know he was going to be off the clock for the next few days. Shawn asked for details and Chance gave him what he could. When Shawn offered to come over later that evening with Janet and watch the twins for a couple of hours, Chance readily agreed. He wasn’t sure how he was going to convince mama to leave her little ones with strangers, but he was going to give it a try.
Chance took the soup off the stove and let it cool. Dinner out of the house sounded better and the soup and bread would keep until lunch the next day. He kept a watchful eye on Rachel the rest of the afternoon, taking care of the boys, feeding them, changing them, and playing with them. They were curious little tikes and both on the verge of crawling. Chance laughed, as they would balance on their tiny hands and knees, only to collapse minutes later onto their stomachs.
Tony and David were smart and after failing to reach for the toys Chance kept placing in front of them, quickly learned that they could roll to the toys just as easy. Chance was still laughing at their antics when Rachel awoke.
“What’s going on in here?” came her voice from the hallway entrance.
Chance turned his head and gave her a dazzling smile, “Sleeping beauty awakens.” Seeing the blush rise in her cheeks at his compliment, he made a mental note to compliment her more often.
Rachel looked down as her cheeks flamed. What was it about this guy that turned her inside out with just a look or a simple comment? Shaking her head, she entered the room in time to see David roll over to reach the toy in his sights. Gasping, she asked, “How did he learn to do that?”
Chance watched as he answered, “He’s brilliant. I was trying to entice them to crawl for the toys, but after several unsuccessful attempts to stay on their knees, this was their solution. Tony figured it out first and David followed.”
“Wow!” Rachel kneeled down on the floor by the boys and bussed first one, and then the other, on their tiny stomachs, eliciting smiles and babbling.
“Rachel?”
When she looked up, she found herself caught in his stare, and close enough to smell his unique scent. It went straight to her core, igniting the smoldering flame left by his kiss from days before. Sitting back on her heels, she watched him silently.
“I think I know why you didn’t call for help. You’re not used to being this out of control. That stubborn streak of yours is demanding that you rise to the occasion and handle this situation like everything else.”
Rachel was shocked that he had read her so easily. “I don’t…”
“Hey!” Chance stopped her defensive statement, “I’m not here to pass judgment. I’m here as a friend to help out. It’s not a sign of weakness to take help when it’s offered. It’s not a sign of failure to ask for help when things get to be too much.”
Rachel looked down at her hands, she knew he was right, but she couldn’t find the words to tell him. She had thought of calling him several times over the past few days, just to hear another human voice, but instead had dialed the time and temperature recording, holding onto the adult recorded voice like a lifeline.
She needed contact with another human being, one that didn’t demand to be changed or fed every couple of hours. One that could hold up their end of a conversation. She let her eyes track up his body as he reclined on the floor near the babies. One that could hold her when she needed a shoulder to cry on.
That thought startled her and she rose to her feet, needing to move and put more distance between them. Watching her eyes, Chance had seen the desire and longing in them, just before she closed down and quickly gained her feet. Whatever that last thought was, she had turned her emotions off pretty damn quick. “Where are you going?”
“Uhm… I thought… I mean… have you already fed the boys?”
Chance nodded at her and lithely rose to his feet, taking a step closer to her so that only a few feet separated them. “I fed them about half an hour ago. Carrots and applesauce.”
“Oh.” She felt defeated and nervous. “Okay. Was there a reason you stopped by?”
“Rachel, don’t.” He took another step closer and lifted a hand to her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Don’t try and shut me out. You needed some help and I gave it to you. Chelsea was worried about you and asked me to check in with you. When you didn’t return my phone calls, I decided to come over and make sure everything was okay. No big deal, okay?”
Rachel looked at him and nodded, “Okay. Thanks.”
Stepping away from her, he dropped his hand from her chin and announced, “You have,” consulting his watch, “approximately thirty minutes to shower and change before my boss and his wife arrive.”
Puzzled, she asked, “Why are they coming to my house?”
“They are going to watch the boys for a few hours while you and I go have some adult time.”
Rachel had already begun to shake her head, “No way. I’m not leaving my babies with complete strangers. Not happening.” Even as she said the words, she wanted to pull them back and agree. She hadn’t been away from the babies since their birth and the idea of having dinner with another adult, without having to worry about the boys, sounded delicious and sooooo good. But her responsibilities as a mother had to come fi
rst. She couldn’t leave her children with strangers!
“Look, Shawn Marshall is my boss and his wife Janet absolutely loves children. Seth would vouch for them if he were here. Trent and Brianna Coldwell would also vouch for them. Would you like me to call either of them for you?”
Rachel struggled to keep her mind focused on what he was asking her, but the temptation to be alone with this gorgeous man had befuddled her brain. Having married her best friend and then boyfriend from high school, she felt very out of her depth with Chance. She had enjoyed the intimacy she had with Sam, but he had never made her heart beat erratically, or her breath catch in her throat. She had loved their intimate interludes, but had never wanted to rip his clothes off and drag him into the bedroom. She seriously needed to get a grip on herself!
“Rachel? Honey, you need to make a decision here. Do you want to talk to someone else who can vouch for the Marshall’s? They’re going to be here in about twenty-five minutes now.”
Rachel watched his mouth as he spoke and memories of his kiss stopped whatever thoughts had been rolling through her brain. Had she only imagined the emotion behind his kiss? Had it really been that good, or had she just embellished reality?
Chance looked at her eyes as they darkened with desire and stayed focused on his mouth. She wasn’t listening to him speak - she was remembering their kiss. As she leaned towards him, he met her halfway, placing a gentle kiss upon her lips. When she closed her eyes and swayed towards him, he gently wrapped his arms around her, bringing her body flush against his own.
“Rachel, I would love to stay here and kiss you for the next several hours, but Shawn and his wife really are on their way over here. Let me take you to dinner? Just the two of us. I would trust Shawn with my life.”
Rachel gave in to her impulse and laid her cheek against his strong chest. Hearing the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear was so soothing. The heat from his body and the comfort she found in his arms was so confusing, yet felt right somehow. Closing her eyes, she inhaled his scent, snuggling her head against his chest without being aware she had done so.
Chance gave her one last hug and then pushed her away from himself, “Go shower or change. Whatever you feel up to. We’ll grab a quick bite to eat and then come right back.”
Rachel looked at him one last time and then headed towards her bedroom. Chance watched her go, quickly adjusting himself and telling his body to cool off. They were only going to dinner!
Chapter 11
When Shawn and Janet arrived, Rachel had already prepared bottles for the boys and placed them in the fridge. She kept herself busy while waiting for their arrival, her nervous energy infecting the boys and making them fussy.
Chance had attempted to calm her down, but knew that completing this adventure would be the only way to do that. She just needed to take that first step towards claiming her life back and realizing that becoming a mother hadn’t erased her adult needs. She was still a vibrant woman; she just needed to be reminded of that fact.
Rachel had opted for jeans and a button down shirt. She had lost most of her baby weight, but most of her pre-pregnancy clothing was still a little too tight to wear comfortably. She promised herself that she would begin to deal with the extra weight first thing tomorrow.
Chance didn’t seem to mind and kept giving her heated stares across the room. After introducing her to the Marshall’s, she took them on a tour of the house, showing them where the babies things were kept, going over the bottle warming directions for a third time, and then giving them a list of emergency numbers for herself, the ambulance and fire department.
Shawn had patiently taken it all in while Janet cooed and played with the tiring babies. It was almost time for their bedtime and Rachel debated about cancelling dinner to put them to sleep. This would be the first time she had ever left the house without them and she was already suffering separation anxiety.
“Rachel, let’s go.”
She nodded and took a huge breath before walking determinedly towards the front door. Chance gave Shawn of nod of thanks and followed her closely, not wanting to give her an opportunity to change her mind.
He helped her into his SUV, fastening her seatbelt, before walking around the vehicle and joining her. “So, take a deep breath.”
Rachel followed his direction and let the air whoosh from her lungs in a giant rush. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Sure you can. They’re only a phone call away. Now, what sounds good for dinner?”
After some discussion, they opted for a buffet restaurant that served a little bit of everything. They both ate their fill, and when Rachel glanced at her watch for the tenth time in as many minutes, Chance sighed and reached across the table for her wrist. When she moved to pull away, he tightened his grip, removing her watch quickly and placing it in his shirt pocket.
“Why did you do that?” she asked, rubbing her wrist once he released it.
“Because you can’t seem to relax and that watch is only a reminder of how long you’ve been away from the house.”
Rachel stared at him for a moment before dropping her gaze and continuing to eat. He was right! She could do better than this and she would.
“So, you worked for the FBI?” she offered, wanting anything to take her mind off her babies.
Chance smiled at her and went with it, “Yeah. But only for a few years. The bureaucracy got to me and I decided to join my brother and Shawn.”
“What do they do exactly?”
“Shawn and Seth run a company called MJI. They offer private security services, both here and abroad. Tell me about your husband.”
Startled, she glanced at him, “Why do you want to know about Sam?”
“Because I want to understand what type of relationship you had with him. Rachel, I like you and I know you feel the chemistry between us. I want to keep exploring that, but I don’t want to unintentionally do something that would cause you emotional pain. I need to know what kind of relationship you had with Sam so I can avoid any minefields.”
Rachel set down her fork and pushed away from the table, taking a huge breath before looking up at him. “He was my world. He’s gone. I’m alone. End of story.”
Chance’s heart broke for the sadness he heard in her voice, “Not true. You’re not alone and this is not the end of the story. Tell me where you and he met.”
“We went to high school together.”
“Were you always boyfriend and girlfriend?”
Rachel shook her head, “No. We were buddies first. We got paired up in science class our freshman year and then things just slowly changed into more than friends.”
Chance was quiet for several seconds before he asked, “So, you just woke up one day and realized you loved your best friend?”
Rachel shrugged, “I don’t know that it happened that fast. We always hung out together, and when the junior prom came around, we decided to go together as friends and ended up sharing our first kiss when he dropped me off. We were both so nervous, it’s a wonder we managed to accomplish the task.”
Chance watched the smile on her face as she remembered better days. “So, when did you decided to get married?”
Rachel was lost in the memories and answered him without even thinking about it, “Right after high school. Sam was a foster kid and my parent’s passed away the year before – I guess we didn’t want to be alone in the adult world.”
Chance nodded, he could see how two teenagers entering adulthood would gravitate towards each other. “So, you got married and he enlisted in the service?”
Rachel shook her head, “Nor right away. He tried his hand at working a civilian job for a few years after graduation, but he hated it. He’d always wanted to enlist, but after we got married, he figured I would object. I just wanted him to be happy. One day, we walked by a recruiting table in the mall, and he stopped. He took the tests and enlisted the next week with my full support.”
“You didn’t mind the fact that he might
be gone for weeks or months at a time?”
Rachel shook her head, “No. I just wanted him to be happy. I hated seeing him slowly lose himself in the mundane jobs he was working.”
“So did he get stationed in Denver…”
Rachel shook her head, “Not Denver. Colorado Springs. He was assigned to Fort Carson. That’s where I lived until the babies came along.”
“Did he know you were pregnant when he went overseas?”
“No. I didn’t find out until he’d been over there for a few weeks. He was so happy when I told him. We tried to Skype each other at least once a week. When I found out I was having twins, he made so much noise his entire tent helped him celebrate.”
Chance loved the smile on her face as she remembered the good times. She was beautiful, but the smile upon her face lit her up from the inside out. He hated having to bring her down, but he needed to know the rest of the story. “When did he die?”
“He was killed while on patrol. An IED blew up their convoy and he was in the closest vehicle. Six other men died in that attack.” Rachel felt her happiness fade away and the sense of loss and loneliness came back with a vengeance.
“How far along were you with the pregnancy?” Chance didn’t like pushing her to remember such hurtful events, but he wanted to understand everything about her. Besides, he knew from experience that talking about such trying times helped put them into perspective and took some of the sting away over time.
“Almost eight months. I had already been having Braxton-Hicks contractions before I received word of the attack. I made it through the funeral and went into early labor a week later.”
“The boys were okay?”
Rachel shook her head, “No. They flew them to Denver Children’s Hospital. Their lungs were under-developed and they needed special treatment. I came up here to be with them and Chelsea moved to Denver to help me. They were in the NICU for nine weeks before they let them come home.”
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