Zoe shifted on the sofa. “Okay, so I can see him dealing with some guilt then, but to completely change his life?” She looked around the room for confirmation. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“Yeah, we all thought the same thing. My mom and I have talked about it a lot over the years and the only thing we can come up with was that Lillian’s death was like some sort of wake-up call for him. The day of the funeral, Hugh just…shut down. He became a different person. He was quiet and withdrawn.”
“That sounds normal considering the circumstances,” Aubrey said.
Anna shook her head. “It was different. He suddenly morphed into a model citizen and son. It was a little weird. He stopped hanging out with the friends he’d always had, stopped going out, and focused on helping Ian out.”
“Wow,” Darcy said.
For a minute, Aubrey wasn’t sure if she should bring up what Hugh had said to her those many weeks ago, but she was in too deep now. “Hugh mentioned once that it should have been him,” she said quietly. “Do you know why he would say that?”
Anna considered the question for a long minute. “If I had to guess, I’d say it’s because normally Lillian would have sent him on that errand. She used to love how she could send Hugh and Aidan out to pick things up for her. Aidan was away at school, but Hugh normally would run to the store if she needed him to. Maybe he felt if he hadn’t been grounded and had been allowed to drive, he would have been in the car instead of Lillian.”
You could have heard a pin drop in the room and Aubrey felt her heart break even more for him. Could that be it? Could that be why he felt the way he did?
“Do you…” She stopped and cleared her throat. “Do you think he made such a drastic change because he felt guilty? In his own way, he’s trying to make up for how he—”
Anna cut her off. “I honestly don’t know. I would imagine—based on what you just said—he’s got a certain level of guilt. He’s never talked about it with anyone and as far as I know, no one else looks at it that way. Over the years Quinn and I have talked about it, my mom and I have too, but none of us ever blamed Hugh.”
“I wonder if he knows that,” Aubrey said. “I wonder if he’s carrying around all this guilt—keeping it bottled up inside. Maybe if he’d just talk about it…”
“You have to be careful,” Zoe said. “Trust me. I’ve learned a thing or two in the time I’ve been with Aidan. They are fiercely loyal to one another and they don’t take too kindly to anyone getting involved with family matters.”
“I think that was just Aidan’s issue,” Darcy said.
“Maybe,” Zoe replied, then looked at Aubrey. “But if you’re going to have a relationship with Hugh, take my advice and tread lightly in this matter. It was one of our biggest obstacles when Aidan and I first started dating. And yes, part of it had to do with his mother. So if I were you, I’d take my suggestion and don’t push.”
“But it seems crazy he’s so cut off from everything!” Aubrey cried. “If I can get him to just open up and deal with…”
“I’m with Zoe on this one,” Anna said. “The Shaughnessys are a very tight, close-knit family and very private. Hugh takes it a bit to the extreme, but everyone deals with loss in their own way. Knowing what I do about him, I don’t think Hugh would be able to handle it if you forced him to talk about it when he wasn’t ready. He’s very careful, very in control of his life.”
“No one can control everything that happens around them,” Aubrey argued lightly. “Things happen. Surely he doesn’t think because he hasn’t written it down it can’t happen.”
“Oh, but he does,” Darcy said. “And if he can’t control it, he won’t talk about it.” She went to refill her glass. “He’s the king of sticking his head in the sand when he doesn’t want to deal with something unpleasant. If I want to plan something for my future, I go to Hugh. If something is going on right now that’s uncertain, I pretty much go to anyone else.”
Anna stood and stretched. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but now I really am hungry. I’m going to go and light the grill.”
Everyone began to move around, but somehow, Aubrey had lost her appetite.
* * *
“You know you’re not the designated driver or anything,” Riley said, coming to sit beside Hugh at the bar. “Marco’s got you covered.”
Hugh lifted his ginger ale in a toast. “Thanks. I’m good.”
“You can at least pretend you’re having a good time.”
With a quirked brow, Hugh looked at his brother. “So now there are rules for how I need to behave while we’re out?”
Riley laughed. “Normally, no. But we’re all hanging out and relaxing. Hell, even Dad’s playing darts over there, laughing his ass off. Stop being the grandpa of the group and participate in an activity or two.”
“Look, it’s been a long day. I worked all day on Dad’s yard, and if Quinn hadn’t been up my ass about it, I’d be home right now.”
“With Aubrey?”
“Hell yeah,” Hugh said without giving it a second thought. “I had planned on taking her out tonight, but somehow I got wrangled into this.”
“Seems to me it all worked out because she’s out with Anna, Zoe, and Darcy. It’s okay for the two of you to go out separately once in a while. It’s not a crime.”
Hugh glared at his brother and took a sip of his drink. “We spend plenty of time apart, and that’s why when we have the chance to be together, it’s what I want to do. I’m not like you, Ry. I’m not into the club scene.”
Riley laughed harder now. “Dude, if you think this is a club scene, then you are severely out of touch. There are fifteen people here and our group takes up about half of that. It’s just a night to kick back and relax. We never do that. We’re always together for a celebration—like for Dad’s birthday tomorrow night. Tonight was just for fun. Can’t you just do that?”
“Do what?”
“Have fun?”
“I have plenty of fun!” Hugh snapped. “Seriously, why is everyone on my case about this?”
“Fine, I’ll get everyone—whoever that is—to lay off if you come over and play a game of pool. Come on. Aidan’s getting cocky over there and Owen’s up about a hundred bucks already. I think you and I can take them on.”
Riley started to turn away, but Hugh reached out and stopped him. “Hey,” he began reluctantly. “Can I ask you something?”
Riley sat back down. “Yeah. Sure. What’s up?”
“What do you think about…you know…me and Aubrey?”
“Wow. Okay. Um…I think she’s great. You know I think she’s great. Why? What’s going on?”
There were too many things going on in his mind. That was the problem. “You know what…never mind. It’s not important.”
“No, no, come on. What’s up? What…did Quinn give you shit today?”
Hugh frowned. “Quinn gives everyone shit, that’s not anything new.”
“Okay, then what’s this about? Are you having second thoughts and it’s awkward because she works for you?”
“No. Hell no!” Hugh replied adamantly. “If anything, things are getting better. It’s just…damn. I can’t wrap my brain around how fast it’s happening. I mean, it’s been a couple of months but…I want her with me all the time. When I’m traveling and she’s home…I miss her.”
Riley shifted uncomfortably. “Maybe you should be talking to Aidan about this. Or Dad.”
“Yeah,” Hugh grumbled. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll figure it out.”
“Okay, fine.” Riley sighed. “No need to get all dramatic about it.”
“I’m not—”
“Yeah, you are.” He signaled the bartender to bring over another drink. “So you’re in love with her.”
Was he? Hugh had been careful to not put a label on what he was thinking and feeling
but when Riley said it, it felt right. He couldn’t force himself to say it so he nodded instead.
“Okay. So…good.” Riley took a pull from his beer and looked around carefully to see who could possibly save him. “Do…do you think she feels the same way?”
“That’s the thing. I have no idea. We have a great time when we’re together and we’re completely in sync in almost every way, but I don’t want to push her. I don’t want to say anything to make her get skittish or scare her off.”
“Like telling her you love her?”
“Well…yeah. Some people get freaked out by that sort of thing.”
“I know I would.”
“Good thing we’re not talking about you, jackass.”
“Look, I didn’t ask to be part of this conversation so let’s not start with the name calling,” Riley teased. “If you want my opinion, you’re going to have to realistically put yourself out there.”
“But…”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s not who you are. Got it. But for whatever reason, you refuse to live your life without a constant safety net, and you’re going to have to let that go. Are you willing to do that?”
“What if I wait? See if she says it first?”
“What if she’s just as stubborn as you and is waiting for you to say it first? How long do you think it will take before that kind of game drives you batshit crazy?”
“Good point.”
“Look, Hugh. I wish I knew what to say here, but I don’t. I’m not trying to pawn you off or blow you off, I just think this is a better topic for Aidan.”
“Or Dad.”
He nodded. “Or Dad. It doesn’t make me a bad person, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. I guess I thought you might have something different to say.”
“What do you mean?”
“Dad and Aidan? They’re going to tell me to take the risk—it’s worth it.”
“And?”
“And I guess I was looking for another way.”
“Dude, you have got to get over this obsession with playing it safe. It’s borderline crazy now.”
There wasn’t anything he could say. It was the truth. But right now wasn’t the time to let his brother know he was right.
Once more, Riley motioned for the bartender. “A beer for my brother.” He looked at Hugh as if daring him to argue.
Yeah, that had been another part of playing things safe but for tonight, he’d let his brother have this other victory and he’d be a good sport about it.
“Come on. Let’s see if we can help Owen part with some of those winnings.”
* * *
It was late when Aubrey arrived back at the little apartment over Aidan and Zoe’s garage, and she was surprised to find Hugh wasn’t back yet. It was a happy surprise because it meant he had relaxed enough to stay out and have a good time with his brothers.
Or they were refusing to let him leave.
She chuckled at the thought as she got herself ready for bed. The space was small and cozy, far from the luxurious hotel suites she and Hugh normally stayed in, but she loved it. She’d choose a place like this any day of the week. The more she got to know Hugh, the more she understood his logic in designing and decorating them all the same, but it was still a little…cold. No, maybe that wasn’t the right word. Maybe it was…nope, cold. It was still a glorified hotel room—lacking any real personality. And after visiting his childhood home, knowing his feelings about it, she couldn’t understand why he didn’t want something a little more like it.
“Just another layer to Mr. Hugh Shaughnessy I’d love to figure out,” she murmured as she slipped her nightie on over her head. Although she wasn’t tired, the thought of curling up in the bed with her Kindle was very appealing. Sliding beneath the sheets, she grabbed the device from the bedside table but didn’t turn it on right away. It had been a very enjoyable night, she thought.
Conversation with the women who were quickly becoming very near and dear friends was never dull. They had laughed and joked around all night long and even after their very serious conversation about Lillian Shaughnessy, they were still able to go back to the easy bantering they’d been having. It was a nice feeling knowing she had found these friends. They were coming to mean more to her than some of the people she had known most of her life. They accepted her. Encouraged her. And if she wasn’t mistaken, they genuinely cared about her—and not just because of her relationship with Hugh.
And boy, was everyone right about Anna’s cooking skills. Sheesh. That girl did more with a burger than some of the five-star restaurants she and Hugh had dined at. She placed a hand over her still-full belly and smiled. Yeah, that was going to become a habit whenever they came here to visit. Or maybe she’d have to invite Anna to come inland and hang out with her for a weekend. Now there was a plan.
“Aubrey! I’m home!”
Looking up, she saw a very happy and relaxed-looking Hugh standing in the doorway. If she wasn’t mistaken, he might even be a little bit tipsy. She almost giggled at the thought. Men didn’t get tipsy, did they? “Hey, you,” she said, smiling up at him.
“Whatcha doin’?” he asked, walking slowly across the room until he could plop down on the bed beside her.
“I was just going to read for a bit while I was waiting for you.” His hair was tousled, his shirt was untucked, and he looked completely adorable to her. Reaching out, she ran a hand through his hair. “How was your night?”
Hugh stretched out beside her as he kicked his shoes off. “I took fifty bucks from my brother. It was awesome.”
She chuckled. “Which brother?”
“Owen,” he said around a yawn. “Served him right. Trying to trick me up with math.”
Her brows furrowed. “Math?”
“Yeah. Such a smarty-pants. Thinks he knows everything. But I beat him. He may know about angles and lines and spots but I know how to provide a good distraction,” he said with a silly grin.
“So you cheated.”
“Ha! That’s a good one! No, I did not cheat. I just happened to notice how Owen kept sneaking looks at this girl standing over by the jukebox. So while he was doing his geo…geolo…geomethology…”
“Geometry?”
“Yeah…so while he was doing that stuff in his head, I went over and introduced myself, then brought her over to meet Owen.” He laughed. “Then he forgot all about how to do…you know…and Riley and I were able to kick his and Aidan’s butts. It was fun.”
Yeah, he was definitely a little tipsy and it was adorable. It was nice to see he could unwind and have fun with his brothers. “I’m glad you had a good time.”
“How about you, darlin’? Did you have fun tonight?”
“I did. Anna made burgers and—”
“Oh man! And I missed it?” He sat up and looked around for his phone. Pulling it from his pocket, he began scrolling through his contacts.
“Hugh? What are you doing?”
“I’m starving. Do you think she’ll make some more?”
“Who?”
“Anna,” he said with a huff. “Sheesh.”
“Hugh Shaughnessy, you cannot call Anna now and ask her to make you a burger!” She tried to sound firm but couldn’t stop laughing at the confused look on his face. “Give me the phone.”
“But…do we have any burgers here?”
She shook her head. “Nope. Sorry. No burgers.”
“Well damn,” he muttered, flopping back down on the bed. Looking over at her, he smiled sleepily. “They were good, right?”
Nodding, she said, “Yup. They were.” Aubrey knew he was going to be asleep in a matter of minutes, but figured she’d humor him for a little bit longer. “Do you want me to make you something to eat? Or maybe just a little snack?”
“Mmm…”
Turning on her side to face
him, she nudged him around until she got him undressed down to his boxers and even managed to get him under the blankets. He made several sloppy attempts to kiss her but she kept it playful to distract him. By the time he was settled, she was exhausted.
“Sweet dreams, wonderful man,” she whispered, kissing his cheek.
Hugh smiled sleepily. “Love you,” he murmured in response. Aubrey was glad his eyes were closed and he was already snoring softly, because she was certain the look of shock on her face would have been hard to explain.
Did he really mean what he’d said? Was it possible Hugh was really in love with her? It was hard for Aubrey to wrap her head around. No one had ever said it to her before. And to be honest, Hugh really hadn’t said it to her either—not consciously, anyway.
But now that it was out there, she had a feeling it was going to be pretty hard to forget.
Chapter 10
Something was different. Hugh couldn’t put his finger on it, but he was certain he wasn’t imagining that Aubrey was looking at him like he was a ticking time bomb. What could possibly have happened last night to cause that reaction? Sure, he got home after her, and he’d had a little more to drink than he usually did, but he remembered them talking and getting cozy before he fell asleep.
Was that it? Was she upset he’d had too much to drink and fell asleep before he could make love to her like he’d promised? He had to admit, the thought of her being disappointed about not being intimate made him smile with male pride. Then he looked at her and realized maybe he was patting himself on the back a little prematurely.
“Good morning,” he said with a tentative smile.
“Good morning,” she replied a little hesitantly. “How are you feeling?”
Ah, so it was the drinking. Good to know. “I’m fine. I’m sorry if I freaked you out last night. Riley convinced me to break my one-drink rule. I’m a bit of a lightweight now because of it. I hate that I fell asleep so fast. You know I had big plans for us.”
Aubrey only nodded, then turned to look at the bedside clock. “Um…it’s getting late. Do you want some breakfast?” She started to rise from the bed but Hugh reached out a hand to stop her.
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