“Liza, I think we need to get the electrician to add more twinkly lights in the east corner of the room. What do you think?” Aubrey was studying the lighting inside the large party tent, nibbling on her lip. Everything was coming along exactly as she had planned it, and now they were just fine-tuning.
“He just stepped out to grab some more. I’ll let him know.” Liza was the on-site assistant at the Montana resort and, as far as Aubrey was concerned, an angel.
From the moment Aubrey had arrived on site, Liza had been by her side. She seemed to anticipate what Aubrey was going to need before she realized she needed it. She was making things flow far easier than Aubrey thought possible and it was wonderful.
And right now, Aubrey was all about needing things to go easier because her mind and her heart were in total chaos.
Ever since her conversation with Anna, she had been a complete mess. It was one thing to tell Hugh she loved him, and to say she wanted to marry him—even though she’d only shared that last bit with Anna. But beyond that? The thought of kids and forever scared the hell out of her.
Her parents had never had a happy marriage, and having Aubrey had only seemed to make things worse. She’d had no idea what a happy family looked like until she’d spent time with the Shaughnessys, and that wasn’t enough for her to feel confident having a family of her own.
Instinctively, her hand rested on her flat belly as she sighed. Maybe if…
“Okay, the electrician is good with setting up more lighting in the east corner. The sound system is ready for a test drive. Any requests?” Liza asked with a big smile.
Aubrey looked at her oddly. “Requests?”
“Yeah. Music. Any favorite songs? Something fast? Something slow? You name it, and he’ll play it.”
Somehow Aubrey doubted the DJ had any classical music or jazz on hand. “Ask him to play something by Riley Shaughnessy.”
Liza’s smile grew. “An excellent choice.” Then she walked back over to the DJ.
Standing alone, Aubrey pushed all thoughts of Hugh and marriage and children aside. There was so much to do, and she knew tonight—just like every other night since Ian’s party—she would lie in bed while her mind raced with thoughts of what the future with Hugh would look like.
Suddenly music blared all around her. She had always disliked large parties—they were always so loud. Walking over to where Liza stood, she leaned in close. “We don’t want our guests having to talk in each other’s ears all night. The music needs to be soft—even if it’s upbeat music, we need the volume down. This isn’t a dance club.”
Liza nodded. “Got it.” She hopped behind the music podium to speak to the DJ. Moments later, the volume softened and she looked at Aubrey for approval.
With a smile and a thumbs-up, Aubrey turned and did a slow tour of the room while the song played.
I swear we’re one as I get lost in your eyes,
Forever in my heart, your soft hand in mine.
You’ll whisper in my ear, I love you
And I’ll sleep better than I ever have.
I always see you in my dreams.
I’m never without you…
Tears welled in Aubrey’s eyes at the lyrics. So beautiful. They described how she felt about Hugh. Emotion threatened to overwhelm her, and she knew if she didn’t get some fresh air, she’d be a weeping mess in front of the staff. One last glance around showed everything was under control and she turned to head for the exit.
And there he was.
As if she had conjured him up, Hugh stood in the entryway of the tent looking all kinds of sexy. Aubrey suddenly felt shy, almost afraid to go to him. Mainly because of how she felt over listening to Riley’s song, but partly because she loved him so much it scared her.
Hugh’s eyes locked on hers and he stood still, waiting for her to come to him.
As if she could stay away.
Slowly, she walked toward him. Her heart raced and her eyes burned with unshed tears but once she was standing in front of him—so close she could feel the heat of his body—Aubrey forced herself to come off as light and breezy, pushing aside her fear and anxiety for the time being.
“You weren’t supposed to be here yet,” she said teasingly.
“Are you mad I’m here?” Aubrey could tell it was taking every ounce of his control to not reach out and touch her.
“That depends… Are you checking up on me? Afraid I’m going to mess up this event?”
Hugh smiled warmly. “Never. I know you could do this sort of thing with your eyes closed and still make it spectacular.”
“So then what brings you here? I distinctly remember your schedule keeping you in Napa for another two days.”
Lightning quick, his strong arms banded around her waist as he pulled her close. “I didn’t want to wait that long to see you.” His eyes scanned her face, his smile slowly fading. “I needed to see you. To be with you.”
And Aubrey’s heart did a little flip in her chest. Would it always be this way? How was it possible this man had the ability to make her anxious and overwhelmed one minute and then a complete puddle the next? Why did being in love feel so much like an emotional roller coaster?
Hugh tucked a finger under her chin to force her to look at him, seemingly distressed when she didn’t respond. “I should have called first.”
“No.” She shook her head. “No…I was just surprised, that’s all. I’m so wrapped up in fine-tuning everything around here and I wasn’t expecting to see you until Friday. I’m sorry.”
He didn’t look like he believed her. “Are you almost done here? Can we have dinner?”
Aubrey looked at her watch. “Oh my goodness… I didn’t realize it had gotten so late.” With a look around, she spotted Liza and stepped from Hugh’s arms. “Just give me a minute and we can go.”
“Aubrey,” he called after her. “I don’t want you to change things on my account. If you have things to do, I completely understand.”
And she knew he did. But she also knew it was time to call it a day. Her stomach rumbled, and she realized she had never stopped for lunch. “Just give me one minute,” she said with a smile and made her way across the room.
* * *
They had dinner.
They toured the resort so Aubrey could show him how everything was unfolding for the event.
Now they were back at Hugh’s suite and they were both quiet. Standing back, Hugh simply observed her for a few minutes. She had come in, kicked off her shoes, and seemed a little tense. They had talked about work and the gala over dinner but had stayed away from anything more personal.
Hugh walked to the kitchen and poured each of them a drink before going to the living room and inviting Aubrey to sit with him. She smiled at him over her shoulder and joined him. Once she was there and they were comfortable, Hugh reached for her hand.
“It’s so good to be here with you,” he said, marveling at the softness of her skin. “I missed you.” It had been less than a week but that didn’t make it any less true.
“I missed you too,” she said, then went silent again.
“Aubrey, what’s going on? I feel like you’re pulling away from me and I don’t know why. I don’t understand what happened.”
Her eyes went wide for a moment and she shifted in her spot before looking away. Hugh knew whatever she was going to say, it wasn’t going to be what he wanted to hear.
“I’m just trying to focus on these events,” she said a little quietly. “We’ve been working on them for what seems like forever and I don’t want to let you down.”
Reaching over, he cupped her cheek in his hand. “Sweetheart, you could never disappoint me. Ever. I’ve seen how hard you’ve worked, and walking around here tonight, seeing your vision come to life, has been amazing.” He caressed her face. “But I think it’s more than that. I think s
omething else is on your mind.”
Aubrey sagged a little in her seat. “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed,” she finally said.
“With the work or…with us?” he asked cautiously.
“Us.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
Even though Hugh had known this was a possibility, he still wasn’t prepared for the kick in the gut he felt at her confirmation. Slowly, he lowered his hand. “Why?” It seemed like such a small word, yet it was so full of emotion he almost choked on it.
Her eyes met his. “You once asked me if I thought everything was moving too fast.”
“And you told me it felt right,” he countered, anxious for her to remember that fact.
Aubrey nodded. “I know. And it did. It does,” she quickly corrected. “But I look at you and your family and, I don’t know how to explain it, Hugh, but it scares me.”
“My family scares you?” he asked incredulously. It was the most ridiculous thing anyone had ever said to him.
Rolling her eyes, Aubrey faced him. “I come from a very different world, Hugh. I’m an only child. My parents are divorced and I’m not close with them. They’re not warm or loving people like you grew up with. I don’t know how to be like that!”
Now his eyes went a little wide. “Aubrey, I love who you are. I don’t want you to be like anyone else. And I don’t think I ever implied I did.” He took her hands in his again. “I love you. And I know we haven’t talked about it much but…I want to marry you. Have a family with you. Every time I look at you…I feel like I’m home. I know everything’s going to be okay.”
Tears filled her eyes as she lowered her chin and shook her head.
A trickle of panic began at the base of his spine. “Aubrey?” he whispered. “Tell me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She looked up at him and his heart broke for the pain he saw there. “You can’t know that,” she said, her voice shaky. “You can’t possibly know everything’s going to be okay. What if something happened? I see how your mother’s death still affects you even though you won’t talk about it. There are no guarantees, and I don’t know if I can handle that kind of pressure.”
“What are you talking about? What pressure?”
“You look at me with hope. You look at me like I can guarantee you this wonderful life and I can’t!”
“Aubrey, I’m not looking for a guarantee—”
“Yes, you are,” she interrupted. “You always are. It’s what you do. You don’t take risks. You don’t stray from the schedule. You play it safe.”
“There’s nothing wrong with playing things safe, Aubrey. Not everyone needs to take risks or be irresponsible.”
She pulled her hands from his as she stood. Moving away from the sofa, she paced. “Taking a risk doesn’t mean you’re being irresponsible. Sometimes life is about the risks! Sometimes you have to take a chance, break free…”
“Like climbing out a window?” he asked, shocked at his own sarcasm.
She laughed mirthlessly. “Are we back to that?” In an instant she was standing right in front of him. “You may look at that one act and judge me, but let me tell you something, Hugh Shaughnessy, it is no different from what you’ve done with your entire life. Yes. I climbed out a window to get out of doing something I knew was going to be a huge mistake. But your whole existence since your mother died is one big open window. You refuse to take the chance. Or the risk. Why? Because you’re too afraid to.”
Now he stood. “It’s not the same thing at all!” he shouted. “Do you realize there are consequences for some of those risks? Some of those chances? I was an irresponsible, selfish jackass at seventeen! I broke the rules more than I followed them, and because of that, because I didn’t give a damn, my mother is dead!” He raked a trembling hand through his hair. “You ran away because you knew you were making a mistake, and rather than just own up to it, you shimmied out a window. I chose to stop making the mistakes. Big difference.”
“Hugh, what happened to your mother was an accident. It wasn’t your fault!” She reached for him, but he pulled away. “How long are you going to keep carrying that guilt?”
“Forever,” he said grimly. “If I had followed the rules, I wouldn’t have been grounded. If I hadn’t been grounded, I would have gone to the pharmacy for her that day and she would still be alive right now.”
“Hugh…”
He held up a hand to stop her. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” His voice was quiet and calm. “I don’t want to look back anymore, Aubrey. Not with you. I want a future with you. A life. I love you. I don’t care that you came from a home where your parents didn’t express their love. You’re one of the most loving people I’ve ever known. I know you love me and I know you’re going to be an amazing mother one day. Don’t be—”
“No. Just…please. Just stop.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Can we please not talk about this right now? Can we please just get through the weekend and through the gala before we talk about this again?”
“Aubrey, sooner or later we’re going to have to talk about it. I don’t want to live in limbo with you. I want us to start planning our future.”
She smiled at him sadly. “Please.”
And he nodded. He had no choice. He wanted Aubrey, and if that meant giving her a little more time, then he’d do it.
* * *
“I’ve got to hand it to you, Aubrey, you outdid yourself. Everything was amazing.”
Standing a little straighter and smiling through the pain from her stilettos, Aubrey looked over at Bill. “Thank you. Everything turned out even better than I had hoped.”
“Seriously, kid, you rocked it. The food is delicious, the room is gorgeous, and everyone is having a great time and talking to me about my wines.” He motioned to a spot across the room where Hugh was talking to a reporter. “And your man has never looked more relaxed and comfortable in his own skin. That’s because of you.”
Aubrey’s eyes went wide at his words. “What…? How…? Why would you say that?”
A loud, hearty laugh escaped Bill and he finished off his glass of wine. “Sweetheart, I’ve known Hugh for a long time and he’s never been like this. The two of you aren’t exactly a secret, you know. And personally, I think it’s great. You’re good for him.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, wishing the conversation had stayed on the gala.
“So have the two of you set a date yet?”
“Excuse me?”
He nodded toward Hugh again. “A date. A wedding date,” he said to clarify. “Hugh comes from a large family and he’s not getting any younger. I imagine the two of you are ready to start settling down, making babies. What’s he got, six, seven siblings?” he asked with a laugh.
“Five,” Aubrey said as her stomach sank just a little.
“Damn. I couldn’t imagine. His poor mother, right?”
Rather than reply, Aubrey decided to change the subject. “So did the food complement your wines?”
But Bill was no fool. He gave her a glance and reached for another glass of wine from a passing waiter. He nodded and took a sip. “Nice deflection,” he murmured. “Yes, the chef really hit it out of the park. Everything was perfect.”
“Good.” She almost sagged with relief. “I’m glad. For the party next month we’re—”
“Aubrey,” Bill interrupted. “Relax. Enjoy the party. There’s no need for you to be talking business anymore. You’re a success! This party is awesome! Just go mingle and enjoy yourself, okay?”
And without another word, Bill walked away, leaving Aubrey alone. Unsure what to do with herself, she began to wander the room, making sure everything was all right. Technically, she wasn’t working, she was observing. Liza was more or less running the show and handling any issues that came up.
The music played at an en
joyable level, and when a slow song came up, Aubrey gasped as strong hands landed on her waist and spun her around.
Hugh.
“Dance with me,” he softly said as he wrapped her in his embrace. Together they swayed to the music, and Aubrey couldn’t help but sigh and relax into him.
If nothing else, she was so thankful for moments like this—for the way Hugh had made her love dancing again. Right now, as her body moved against his, she felt peace. The music. The man.
If only it could be like this all the time.
“You’re tensing,” Hugh whispered in her ear. “No tensing. We’re dancing and it’s a beautiful night.”
Damn, she hadn’t realized she was doing it. One second she was relaxed and the next…? Never mind. She let her body ease back into that relaxed state and let the music wrap around her again.
“Would it be terrible if we didn’t stay to the end?” he murmured.
“Yes,” she said with a light chuckle. “This is your night, Hugh. This is a big deal for your resort. You need to stay until everyone leaves so they can tell you how fabulous you are.”
“I don’t need the praise. What I need is you.”
She sighed. They hadn’t made love since he’d arrived in Montana. After their argument that first night, they had been cautiously circling one another, each afraid to say anything to upset the other. While Aubrey was used to living that way—she had for most of her life—she knew it was bothering Hugh. She had asked for him to wait until after the gala, and time was quickly running out.
They danced.
They mingled.
They graciously accepted the compliments on the success of the event.
It was after two a.m. when they finally walked through the door of their suite. Aubrey immediately kicked off her shoes and reached for the pearl choker she had been wearing to take it off. Hugh’s hands gently brushed hers aside as his fingers and lips grazed her neck. “Let me,” he whispered.
After such a long night and a hectic week, his touch felt glorious to her. Leaning back into him, she purred. “That feels nice.”
“It’s going to feel a whole lot better. I promise.”
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