by Unknown
“Ok, well, I’m with my girls so, maybe I’ll see you around,” I teased.
“Mmm, well maybe you will,” Mike replied giving my hips a firm squeeze before slipping his hands away. “You have a good night Erin.” He turned and disappeared into the thickening crowd. I put on my best sober, controlled face before I turned around. As I expected, I was met with the staring, suspecting looks of my friends.
“Now, who the hell was that,” Feliz asked excitedly. “You’ve been in Vegas one day and are already cuttin’ up! What did he say to you? Did you get his name? You and Josh aren’t married yet!” I laughed it off. “I’m going to the bathroom.” I needed to go compose myself.
“I’ll bet you are,” Feliz said. “Go check your panties, girl!” She ribbed before she burst out laughing. I laughed uncomfortably and started toward the ladies’ room at the back of the club. Feliz hadn’t been too far off base with her statement. I was definitely physically affected by Mike’s presence. What really sucked was that he knew it. Even now I could still feel where his fingers had burned their mark into my hips. The fact that I couldn’t shake the images of our night together out of my mind made matters that much worse. Everything had changed since then, but I could feel lingering desire creeping back to the forefront of my thoughts. I shook my head hard and reminded myself that a relationship was what I wanted. At least that was what I’d kept telling myself. I was just days away from moving in with Josh and that would mean we were a done deal. Why is Mike showing up right now at this point in my life? I couldn’t help thinking that there had to be a reason he was right here right now. I knew I couldn’t move forward with things in Chicago until I settled things here with Mike. Maybe talking to him tomorrow would clear up some unresolved questions about what happened between us. Whatever it was may not have meant enough for him to track me down in Chicago, but it must have meant something for him to be tracking me all over Vegas. Either way, I’m sure I’ll be able to move on once I have an explanation. After all, he owed me one. It was long overdue and I was determined to get it tomorrow!
By the time I got back on the dance floor, Amber and Feliz had been to the bar and back. I glanced over to the VIP section and saw Mike and his friends dancing with a group of scantily clad females. Yeah, I can tell I’m super high on his list of priorities. I feigned disinterest, but I wasn’t going to sit there and watch him grinding on females all night. Even if we had nothing going on, I just wasn’t into it and he was blowing my buzz. “I’m gonna hit the bar one more time before I head out. I think I’m done for the night,” I told Angela.
“But you’re the one who wanted to come and now you’re ready to leave?” Angie eyed me suspiciously. “Ok, I’ll go to the bar with you and walk you up.” It was more of a challenge than an offer. I knew she was gauging my response. “Feliz, Erin is ready to roll. Y’all coming?”
“No, I think I’m gonna hang out with ‘Party Girl’ Amber here. Who knows if I’ll ever get to see this again,” Feliz motioned to Amber who was giving some guy a run for his money to tune of 2Pac’s California Love. “Shake it Amber!” Feliz yelled and gave us a wink as she sashayed over to her.
“Yeah, I think they’re good.” Angie smirked then led the way to the bar and I followed suit. We ordered two vodka shots and downed them before leaving the club. “Ok, so what gives Erin?” Angie gave me a knowing look. I responded with a resigned eye roll.
“Remember how I told you guys I thought Mike was here? Well, that was him in the club.”
“Oh shit! That was him?!” Angie’s eyes grew wide and I could see her wheels already beginning to turn. “Did you tell him you were coming here? Have you been seeing him since you and Josh got serious? He doesn’t look like he’s done with whatever you guys had going!”
“No, of course I didn’t tell him I was coming,” I exclaimed. “I’m as surprised as anyone to see him here. Truthfully, I haven’t seen him in months. Not since we…” I looked over at Angie sheepishly.
“Ok, wait,” Angela threw up her hands and shook her head. “You slept with this dude months ago, never heard from him again and then he shows up in Vegas? No friggin’ way!!”
“Well, he texted not too long ago but I didn’t respond. Then I saw him at the silent auction Josh took me to that same night! Ange, he cornered me at the bathroom and Josh walked up on us. I try so hard to be pissed at him but if he comes within three feet of me, my body takes over. I don’t know what might have happened if Josh hadn’t walked up when he did. I swear I have tried to move on and get this man out of my head and he keeps showing up. Now he’s here! What are the odds of that? Something keeps throwing us together and I feel like I won’t be able to move forward until I finish whatever is unresolved.
“Umm, Erin, hon, I hate to interrupt your soliloquy, but where does your boyfriend, Josh, fit into this equation? And how exactly do you propose to resolve your issues with Mike?”
“That’s the thing Ange, I don’t know! I mean, things are pretty good with Josh and I know he really cares about me. He’s been there for me when I needed him and has even been encouraging as I work through some stuff I have been dealing with for years. I love him for that.”
“But?” Angie questioned as we stepped off the elevator.
“But he’s become so… boring and conventional,” even as I said the words I couldn’t believe they were coming from my mouth. I mean, it wasn’t like I was out here living some super-exciting life filled with adventure. Shit, these girls’ trips were the highlight of my year!“Okaaay, could you be more specific?” Angie interrupted my thoughts.
I stepped into the hotel room and flopped down on the bed. “Well, when we first started dating what really attracted me to him was how put together he was. He had the goals and vision for his life that I thought were everything I wanted. The sex wasn’t mind-blowing, but he held his own and I thought that maybe things would amp up as we got more involved.” Angie eyed me intently. I could tell she was still waiting to hear the downside. “I know you probably think I’m just looking for things to nitpick about but seriously, things were going pretty well but now it’s like he’s frigid or something. He spends most of his time trying to appease me. He doesn’t want to make me angry so he goes along with whatever I say unless it has anything to do with sex. Then he is adamant about not trying anything unconventional. It drives me nuts!”
“Anything like what?! You tryin’ to tie him up and whip him or some shit like that? I don’t get down like that either,” Angela quipped.
“No crazy!” I said with a laugh. “It’s nothing like that, but if it was, I don’t feel like that should be off the table for discussion! It’s about oral.”
“Wait,” Angela interjected. “He won’t lick it before he sticks it?! Girl, now that’s a problem! Maybe he doesn’t know how! Have you tried talking him through it?”
I looked at her with disbelief and exploded in laughter. “You know, sometimes you are just foolish.” I chuckled. “NO Angela! It isn’t that either. Actually, I would say that’s his strong suit,” I gave her an eyebrow waggle. “He won’t let me do it to him! Every time I come anywhere near his penis with anything above my neck he spazzes out!” This time Angie erupted in laughter.
“Wait a minute, you’re telling me your problem with Josh is that he won’t let you go down on him?”
“Yes,” I said flatly.
“But he still goes down on you?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“Sooo, the problem would be?”
“See, I knew you were going in that direction,” I fumed. “Yes, he does me, but I want to do him and he won’t let me. I’m sure for a lot of women that wouldn’t be a problem, but for me it is!!”
“Daaang Erin! I’ve known you for all these years and I never would have suspected you were a complete and total freak!” Angie fell out laughing. My face was placid as I waited for her to finish. When she read my expression, she reeled herself in. “I’m sorry, I see this is serious. Let me get myself togeth
er.” She took a deep breath and willed her laughter away. “Have you talked to him about it? Has he told you why he doesn’t want you to do it? Maybe he has a legitimate reason. You know, maybe you guys could work on it. That is if you really wanted to.”
“Yes, I’ve tried to ask him but he says he doesn’t want to talk about it every time I bring up the subject. The last time I tried to do it, he told me he felt like I was staging a ‘sneak attack’ on him!”
Angie howled. She could no longer hold in her laughter and had fallen over and was lying on the bed clutching her stomach. I watched as tiny tears squeezed from the corner of her eyes.
“I’m glad I’m amusing you, but are you going to help me or not?!!”
“Whew, ok. I apologize. This is serious. I don’t mean to laugh at what is genuinely a concern to you. I just didn’t see that one coming. I’m good now.” Angie sat up on the bed and straightened her face. “So you want to do it, he doesn’t like it and refuses to talk about why. Now that is an issue. Other than that, how are things?”
“Well, he is so… safe. I mean, I want to feel secure with my man and all, but I feel more bored than safe. He really is sweet and kind and I know I should be head over heels for him, but something is missing. I think it’s passion. There’s no fire. Our sex is okay and for the most part I am conventionally satisfied, but even outside the bedroom I don’t see him get passionate about anything! It drives me crazy! Am I being selfish or ungrateful? I know there are plenty of women who would say I’m lucky to have him.”
“No honey, you’re not being ungrateful, maybe a little selfish,” Angie teased. “Seriously though, you have a right to get what you want from a relationship as much as anyone else. I haven’t met either guy, so I don’t really have an opinion about them, but I do know you. I know that you don’t stay with one person for very long and that being with Josh has been quite a stretch for you. You two have even talked about moving in together. That’s not a step to take lightly. If you’re not sure, you should probably talk to him about it. At least you have some time away to sort through your thoughts, but I have a feeling things are going to get more complicated with your ‘friend’ being in town. Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to Feliz and Amber, and what happens in Vegas will stay in Vegas.” Angela gave me a wink.
“The only thing happening in Vegas is some quality time with friends and a long overdue explanation from a former acquaintance!”
“Ok. Whatever,” Angela rolled her eyes. “I’m tired. I’m heading to my room. You know I have to go to sleep before Amber! Her drunk behind will definitely be snoring up a storm tonight!!” We snickered as I walked her to the door.
I took a quick shower and threw on my satin nightgown. As I curled beneath the downed blanket, I struggled to escape the thoughts racing through my mind. I had no idea what to expect if I went to meet Mike tomorrow. What could he possibly say that would make things any different than they were? Why the hell did it even matter so much to me?
Somewhere between frustration and confusion, sleep found me but not before yet another question came fluttering through my head. What would you have done with your life if your sister hadn’t died? Already bemused, I willed my eyes to close and committed to start figuring out at least some of the answers while I was in Vegas.
Chapter Nine
Morning came early, or at least it felt that way when coupled the late night and change in time zones. I turned over and let my eyes adjust enough to read the clock. It was only six thirty, but my body was still on Midwest time. Sleep was no longer an option so I got up and threw on my gray, jersey maxi dress. Let’s see if he was serious. I reached for the phone and dialed his room number. It occurred to me right at that moment that he was staying in the same hotel. He doesn’t know I’m staying here so it’s cool. Two rings later a raspy voice answered, “Hello.”
"May I speak to Mike," I didn’t recognize my voice. It sounded timid and unsure.
"This is Mike. Erin?"
"Yes, it’s me. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just thought… well… you’re sleeping so it doesn’t matter."
I was about to hang up the phone when he said, “No, I’m up! Give me ten minutes and I’ll meet you at Bacchanal Buffet, alright?”
“I’ll need a little time to get over there.” I lied. “I’ll meet you at seven fifteen.”
“Yeah, ok.” His words held traces of laughter as he hung up the phone. I was too much of a nervous wreck to question it. I grabbed my purse and closed the door behind me.
On the elevator, again I found myself battling with the thoughts in my mind. Why am I doing this when I have Josh at home? I’ve moved on. Then again, if I am still stirred up over how things went with Mike, have I really? Maybe meeting with him will help me get the closure I need to move forward.
When the doors opened, I headed toward Bacchanal Buffet. I had the waitress seat me in a discreet section in the back in case my friends decided to come down. There was no way I could explain to them how I had ended up meeting Mike here or how we managed to “find” each other in a city as large as Las Vegas.
Ten minutes later, Mike arrived and immediately moved his chair closer to mine. "Is it cool if I sit here?"
I stared at him in disbelief. “Well, since you’ve already made yourself comfortable, I guess so.” I was trying hard to be aloof even though I could feel the warmth of his arm against my back through the thin t-shirt hugging the arm he rested on the back of my chair. His other arm leaned against the table and his body faced me directly. This is too close. He’s too close. I ignored the surge of energy I felt pulling at my core like a magnet and shifted my body to face the table. I gave spied the linen napkin on the table and focused intently on placing it in my lap.
"I just wanted to be able to have a private conversation with you and not have to talk across the table. First things first though, let’s hit the buffet. I’m starving!" Mike rubbed his stomach for emphasis. He lightened the mood and I relaxed some. I was relieved to get up from the table and away from the heat of Mike’s body.
At the station where eggs were being made to order, I waited as the chef prepared my veggie and cheese. From there I stopped and added turkey bacon and a side of fruit to my plate. When I returned to the table, I found Mike there, his plate piled high with what looked like a bit of everything. When he saw me coming, he stood and waited for me to be seated before he sat down. I made a mental note of it for no particular reason.
"Erin, first, I want to apologize for how everything happened between us that night. I know I left abruptly and never really gave you a legitimate explanation why. It wasn’t my intent to have any of that happen. I mean, even what happened at your house. When I took you out, it was because I really liked you and wanted to get to know you." Mike put down his fork and eyed me intently. "After I left that night, I went to get my son from my mother’s house. She watches him for me when she can. I don’t take that for granted and I try not to take advantage of her kindness. Anyway, I told her I would be there to pick him up that night at nine, but things with you took a different turn and I lost track of time." I could see him trying to gauge my expression. I stabbed a piece of cantaloupe with my fork and shoved it in my mouth as I continued to stare at him blankly. Mike took a labored breath and began again." Once I picked him up, I thought about stopping back by just to explain but it was already late so I planned to just talk to you the following day but my phone deleted all my contacts. I knew you had my number so I was hopeful that I would hear from you but that never happened. The whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about you but I wasn’t sure you were even interested.” I shifted in my seat nervously. I hadn’t called for the same reason he hadn’t but I wasn’t about to tell him that. I gave him a nod hoping to encourage him to go on. “Erin, I couldn’t get you or that night out of my mind so I finally broke down and had a friend from work to look you up in the AAA system. That’s when I sent you the text. I swear to you it wasn’t about the sex. I didn’t see that coming and I
still would have wanted to see you again if it hadn’t happened. I couldn’t get you out of my mind. The look in his eyes pleaded for me to believe him. Everything he’d said had been none of what I’d expected. I had pre-judged him and had gotten it all wrong.
His explanation had blindsided me. When I called him I was prepared to hear him out, then move on with my trip and the rest of my life but now I felt unsure. I still wasn’t sure how much of what he said I actually believed but I wasn’t ready to question it either so I deflected. “So, how old is your son?" He looked at me initially with disbelieve then resignation as he shook his head and smiled.
"He’s five. His name is Adrian. His favorite food is pizza and he loves anything involving Monster’s Inc. Is that your only question after I just said all that? Don’t get me wrong, I like the fact that you are interested in him, but I was talking about what went on with you and me."
Since my attempt at a diversion was unsuccessful, I took a deep breath and responded. He asked for it, so here it goes. "What do you want me to say? You told me all of that and there was a span of three months when we had absolutely no contact! You know where I work. It is the same place you met me for the AAA service. Also, most phones these days come with some sort of information back up so that people don’t lose all of their contacts. So I find it difficult to believe that you didn’t contact me because you couldn’t figure out how. As for what happened that night, I didn’t ask you to stay instead of going to get your son—that was your choice. In fact, until today I didn’t even know you had a son, so exactly how did you expect me to respond?” There’s no way he’s putting all this on me.