The backs of my eyes burned. “I don’t want to feel like this forever.”
“You won’t.” Throwing an arm around my shoulders, she squeezed me. “I promise.”
I smiled at her, but I wasn’t sure it would ever change. Maybe I really need to let go. To move on. And maybe…just maybe doing something like the funeral was the right thing to do.
At this point, I was willing to try anything, because I needed to get better before this child made its entrance. I had to. Because I didn’t want to repeat history. I didn’t want to become my mom, emotionally and mentally absent.
I had to get it together.
~
Later that night, after a rather ridiculously long bath where I might’ve dosed off, I checked myself out in the standing mirror tucked into the corner of the massive bathroom.
I was starting to show.
The corners of my lips tipped up as I twisted to the side. My stomach had never been flat and it sure as hell wasn’t now. There was a slight bump, like a food baby, but that wasn’t what it was even though I ate more wings than any one person should ever consume.
Splaying my hands across my belly, I exhaled roughly as the image of Seth formed in my head before I could stop it. I could almost see him in the mirror, standing behind me, his hands where mine were. He’d kiss my cheek, tell me I was beautiful, and then kiss my stomach before showing me just how beautiful he thought I was.
I turned from the mirror and grabbed the shirt off the sink. It was one of Seth’s. Just a plain white shirt. When I slipped it on, it reached my thighs and wasn’t the most attractive sleepwear, but it was Seth’s.
It wasn’t that late, but I climbed into bed anyway. Throwing the covers over my legs, I rolled onto my side and watched the ocean breeze lift the curtains. My mind wandered, and when it started to linger on the conversations with Erin and Basil, I switched gears.
Baby room.
I knew exactly which room I wanted to decorate. Seth’s childhood room. Right now, it was dark and rarely visited, but I thought using that room would breathe new life into it. Erase the years of loneliness that clung to the walls. I thought Seth would approve of the choice.
When I had my next appointment with the OBGYN, I hoped I might be able to learn if I was having a boy or girl. My lower lip trembled as I thought about the game Seth and I used to play. I closed my eyes. I still played it. Every night since the last time.
My voice was thick as I said, “Boy or girl?”
“Boy.”
A jolt ran through my entire body in response to the deep voice, and my heart cracked wide open because it was a voice I’d never hear again—a voice I’d give almost anything to hear again.
Which meant I was now hearing things. Great. That was all I needed.
The bed suddenly shifted. My eyes flew open…and the world stopped moving.
Time stopped.
Even my heart seemed to have ceased beating for a full ten seconds. Then it picked back up in rapid succession. I couldn’t catch my breath, couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
He sat beside me, head lowered but the features painfully unmistakable. Perfect. Beautiful. Loved. Golden-colored hair brushed his shoulders. The curve of his jaw was hard and firm. Cheekbones I’d touched and kissed in what seemed like a different life were the same.
Light exploded inside me. A rush of emotions pulsed through me, stunning me into silence and immobility. Happiness, disbelief, love, fear, and confusion all warred to take center stage.
It was him.
Or I was also having visual hallucinations now.
That was possible.
But he looked real.
I inhaled sharply, rising up on my elbow as I caught the scent of lush spice and the crisp smell of fall.
He smelled real.
“Seth?” I whispered.
Those well-formed lips curved into a smile. “Psychí mou.”
He sounded real.
I was moving before I even realized it, before I let the impossibility of the situation take hold. I threw myself at him, and dear Lord, if he wasn’t really there, I was going to end up on the floor, but there was no stopping me.
Warm, strong arms swept around my waist, stopping me from toppling off the bed. My legs were tangled in the blanket, but I was flat against his chest, my hands on his shoulders.
He felt real.
My vision blurred as I stared at his face. “Is it really you? Are you really here?”
“It’s really me,” he said, those amber eyes luminous. “And I’m really here.”
Chapter 30
Josie
My heart was racing so fast, I was getting dizzy, and I thought there was a good chance that I might hurl all over the bed.
Seth was sitting on our bed and he was holding me, his hands splayed across my lower back.
This just didn’t make sense.
I didn’t understand.
Lifting my arms, my hands shook as I touched his cheeks. The skin was warm and smooth as I dragged my fingertips over the curve of his jaw. His brows lifted as I touched his lips, all the while telling myself that this was a dream, because this was impossible.
And if it was a dream, I didn’t want to wake up.
My gaze roamed down his throat, over his bare shoulders. I vaguely recognized the white linen pants he wore. I’d seen my father in them before. I dragged my gaze back to his, and those eyes were like pools of warm honey.
He kissed a fingertip. “Josie, babe…”
I jerked as tears blurred the features of his striking face. “I don’t understand.”
His head tilted to the side, and I heard his sharp inhale. “Don’t cry.” His hands left my back and went to my cheeks. He chased the tears with his thumbs. “Babe, don’t cry. Please. You know how I hate it when you cry.”
And that made it me cry all the harder, because this…this couldn’t be real. Seth was gone. He was dead. I’d seen it with my own eyes, and weeks had passed. Months. Whatever this was, it couldn’t be real.
“Is this some kind of cruel trick?” I whispered, shuddering. “Are you going to disappear? Are you going to fade away—?”
“This isn’t a trick. I swear.” He caught another tear, smoothing it away. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not disappearing on you. I’m not leaving you. Never again, Josie.”
Hope dared spark alive deep in my chest, but so did a terror I’d never tasted before, because hope—it could kill me. I jerked back, slipping out of his grasp as I put some space between us.
I stared at him with wide eyes. “I can’t do this again,” Tremors rocked my entire body. “I can’t lose you again. I won’t survive it. I’m barely surviving it now. I can’t—”
Seth moved fast.
One moment he was sitting on the edge of the bed, and then the next he was caging me in, one hand planted on the headboard behind me, the other curled around the nape of my neck.
He brought his mouth to mine, and there was nothing slow or soft about the way he kissed me. It was raw and brutal. Our teeth knocked together, and there was a good chance my lips would be bruised in the morning, but he kissed me without an ounce of restraint or reservation. My already-turbulent senses spun out of control. I was immediately overwhelmed.
He tasted like Seth.
He pulled back just enough that, when he spoke, his lips brushed mine. “It’s me. You used to call me Sethie and I called you Joe.” His voice was full of gravel. “You used to tell me all the time you didn’t like me, but you did, you always did.”
Another shudder rolled through me as I opened my eyes.
His stare was fierce. “You were tagged by a daimon, at the motel with condoms in the reception area. When you first learned how to use the elements, you always tapped into fire when you were trying to summon air. Luke never wanted to be around you when you were practicing.”
A choked-sounding laugh escaped me.
“It’s me,” he repeated, his grip on my neck tightening. “You
wanted me even when I wasn’t worthy of you. When you told me that we were going to have a child, I fell flat on my ass. And because of you, and only you, I became a better man. It’s me, psychí mou. I am here, and I am never leaving you again.”
My eyes widened as the truth of everything he said broke through the panic and fear. The hope didn’t just spark now. It flamed gloriously, and when I broke this time, I split wide open in an outpouring of raw emotions.
And it was Seth who pulled me into his arms. It was Seth who held me so tight there was no space between us. It was Seth who was there, alive and breathing.
~
Seth
Burying my head in the mass of hair, I breathed in Josie’s scent, letting it wash over me. Damn. I’d never thought I’d hold her again. I’d never thought I’d hear her voice or feel her soft curves.
When I pushed that dagger into my chest, I thought that was it. And it was. For a while.
I held her until the tremors subsided and the tears slowed. Then and only then did I pull her away so I could see her face.
Gods, she was beautiful.
I wiped away the lingering tears and then tucked her hair back from her face. “Babe, you’re breaking my heart right now.”
“I’m sorry.” Her voice was hoarse. “I thought… I mean, you were gone, Seth. You died.”
“I did.” I dragged my thumb over her cheek. I couldn’t stop touching her. “Kind of.”
Her hands opened and closed against my chest. “I don’t understand. If you weren’t dead, then where were you? Where have you been?”
“Gods, Josie, it’s going to sound crazy.” I looked down at her, and I grinned. “Are you wearing one of my shirts?”
Her brows knitted together. “Yeah, but that’s not really important right now.”
I wasn’t sure I could agree with that. Touching her after being separated from her for so long already had my engine revving, but seeing her in my clothes? So turned on it was almost fucking painful.
“Seth,” she said, and when I lifted my gaze to hers, those stunning blue eyes were warm. “If there was any thought in my mind you weren’t Seth, it is now gone.”
I grinned as I drew my thumb under her lip. “I thought I died. That was how it felt at first. There was you, your voice, and then there was nothing. Just fucking nothing, and then it was like I woke up.”
She slid her hand over my arms as she sat back. “Woke up? Where?”
“I was nowhere. I mean, I was awake on a conscious level, but I had no… Gods, this is insane, but I wasn’t corporeal.”
Josie blinked slowly. “Meaning you didn’t have a body?”
“Yeah, meaning that.” I shook my head. “At first there was just nothing but whiteness. I was surrounded by it, and I woke up, but I had no idea who or what or where I was. I guess it was kind of like being born, but slowly I started to remember things. Pieces of my childhood and my…my mother. Then things started to click into place. I remembered me. I remembered you, but I was just trapped in this nothingness.”
“Seth,” she whispered. “That sounds terrible.”
“It was.” For the next million years, I wouldn’t forget how it felt. “I was so damn pissed and frustrated and I…I felt helpless. A part of me was obviously alive and all I wanted was to get back to you, to our child, but I couldn’t get out of the nothingness.”
Her eyes glimmered, and I drew in a ragged breath. “Gods, I have no idea how long I was there. Felt like years, but then something hit me. I am absolute.”
Josie stared at me. “Um, okay?”
I laughed, and gods, the sound even startled my ass. I hadn’t laughed since before we went to the Olympians. Almost didn’t recognize the sound. “I am absolute, and only another absolute being can kill me. Thanatos’s sword is the sword of death, but he is not absolute. Once I realized that, I sort of…pieced back together. There was a flash of bright light, and then my naked ass was lying in Zeus’s temple.”
She jolted, her eyes widening. “Holy crap. You’re right! Only Cronus or Zeus could kill you… Wait. You sort of killed yourself, and you’re absolute. Wouldn’t that count?”
I picked up her hands. “Apparently not. At least, according to Zeus.”
Josie was still for a moment and then she squeezed my hands. “Did Zeus know this from the beginning? Know that you weren’t going to die, but you’d get…stuck?”
“Yeah,” I growled. “Yeah, he did.”
“What?” she shrieked. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I wouldn’t kid about something like this.” I brought her hands to my mouth and kissed the tops of her fingers. “You were right, Josie. It had been a test—a test to see if a selfless or selfish act would be committed. It was a test that Zeus himself had failed.”
Never in my life did I ever think I’d say I saw genuine remorse in Zeus, but when he came to me in his temple and told me that he’d chosen wrongly all those thousands of years ago, I heard the raw pain in his voice. If he’d done what I had done, only the gods knew who he’d be today.
And who’d be sitting on the throne beside him.
“I came back as soon as I could.” I brought her hands to my chest. “I’m sorry it took me so long to find myself and to figure it out. I’m so damn—”
“Don’t.” She rose up to her knees. “You do not apologize. You gave your life, thinking that was it, to put an end to the Titans and to give me and our child a safe future. You do not ever apologize. You came back to me. You made it back. What I don’t understand is why no one told me. Zeus could’ve. And if Zeus knew, then my father had to.” Her cheeks flushed with anger. “Of course. He’s the God of prophecy. He knew. Oh my God, I am going to kill him.”
My lips twitched. “Bloodthirsty. Gods, I missed you.”
“He could’ve told me. He could’ve hinted at it. He could’ve given me hope!” Her gaze searched mine. “I was… It felt like I died right there with you, Seth. It felt like—”
“Stop.” Dropping her hands, I grasped her shoulders, I leaned in, resting my forehead against hers. “Don’t go back to that place. I’m here. You’re here, and nothing in this world or beyond was going to stop me from coming back to you.”
She trembled. “I love you. I love you so much, Seth. I love—”
I kissed her and I didn’t stop there. It had been far too long since I’d felt her skin against mine, and dammit, I wasn’t wasting another second.
Josie must’ve been feeling the same thing, because she reached for my pants at the same time I went for her shirt. We froze for half a second, and then Josie tipped back her head and laughed.
My damn breath caught in my throat at the sound. “You first.”
She bit down on her plump lower lip as she lifted her arms. I got a hold of the hem of her shirt and lifted it off. Then I looked my fill, quickly realizing my memories didn’t do her any justice. Those smooth shoulders. Those breasts and her—
Wait.
Her body…her body had changed.
Now my damn heart stuttered in my chest. Her breasts were fuller, and there was this little bump below her navel.
“Gods…” I stared at her, at the first real signs of our child growing inside her. My vision blurred as I placed my hands on her slightly swollen stomach. “Look at you?” My voice thickened. “I missed this—when it happened. When did it happen?”
She placed her hands on mine and a slight tremor radiated from them. “Kind of feels like I woke up one day with the stomach, but it was slow. I had my first appointment with the OBGYN in New York.”
“And?”
“Everything is perfect so far.”
Blinking back tears, I bent and kissed her stomach. I hated that I had missed that appointment. I wasn’t going to miss another one.
Her fingers threaded through my hair. She guided my mouth back to hers, and as she kissed me she went for my pants, tugging them down my hips. When they got hung up on my knees, I willed them off.
Josie’s
laugh was like basking in the sun.
A heartbeat later, I was thrusting inside her. There’d be time to take it slow, to get reacquainted with every inch of her body, but not now. Neither of us could wait. Urging me on, she wrapped her legs around my hips.
We met each other, thrust for thrust. The rhythm increased until we were slick with sweat. Her hands were everywhere—in my hair, trailing down my back, and gripping my ass. And my mouth was everywhere—trailing kisses down her throat, capturing her taut nipple as my hands cradled her hips, and holding her still as I ground against her.
Lost in the blinding pleasure, I looked down when I lifted up far enough that I could see where we were joined together. The sight of my dick moving in and out of her was erotic and intimate. Higher and higher I went until she threw her head back. Spasms blew through her, rocking through me. Her gasping moans quickly escalated, and I quickly followed, my hips pumping furiously. It was like the never-ending orgasm. Quite some time passed before my movements ceased and I was motionless above her, my heart pounding.
She dragged her palms across my cheeks, catching my hair and tugging it back. “I really missed this.”
Easing out of her, I laughed as I shifted my weight onto my arms. “Not as much as me.”
Josie smiled up at me as she played with the edges of my hair. “I don’t want to close my eyes.”
“Me neither.” I shifted onto my side and brought her with me, lining up our faces. I touched her cheek. “There’s something I need to do. Something I’ve wanted to do for a while now and then. For a while, when I was stuck in that nothingness, I thought I missed my chance. That I wasted so much time. I’m not wasting another second.”
“What?” she asked, placing her finger on my lower lip.
My chest expanded. “I want to get married. Not six months from now. Not a week from now. I want to get married as soon as we can,” I told her, and I thought she might’ve stopped breathing. “I know this isn’t the most romantic of proposals, but will you marry—”
“Yes.” Josie shot forward, knocking me flat on my back as she scrambled on top of me. “Yes!”
The Prophecy Page 27