by Radclyffe
“I know.” Cam blew out a breath and looked past Stark out the window. The runway lights created sharp, flat circles of white interspersed with inky blackness, like so many pearls on an ebony chain. “And I know that you know it. I just—” She lifted her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
When Cam started to rise, Stark, in a wholly uncharacteristic move, restrained her with a hand on her arm. Cam could count on one hand the times Stark had touched her, so she sat back down and waited for Stark to speak.
“I don’t think I’ve ever said this to you, but I’ve always believed it,” Stark said, holding Cam’s gaze. “You’re the best Secret Service agent I’ve ever seen. None of our training prepared us for what happened in September, but you made the right calls and probably saved all of us. If you ever have a feeling something’s not right, I want to know about it.”
“Even if it’s just nerves?” Cam said self-critically.
“It’s not nerves, Commander. It’s instinct.”
Cam smiled faintly. “I don’t think I’ve ever said this to you, but I believe it. You’re the right person to head Blair’s detail.”
Stark blushed and, for the first time, looked down. “Thank you.”
“There are some things you need to know about Colorado. Let’s talk when we get back to base.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“What was that all about back there in the plane?” Blair asked once she and Cam were settled in the back of the Suburban. Greg Wozinski, six-five and two hundred fifty pounds of blond-haired, blue-eyed beefsteak, managed to appear invisible as he occupied the facing seat in the rear of the armor-plated SUV. His expression was impassive and he might have been deaf for all the reaction he gave to their conversation. Nevertheless, she kept her voice low. She leaned into Cam’s body and kept one hand on Cam’s thigh. “What happened?”
“Nothing important,” Cam said.
“Stark doesn’t usually keep me strapped in that long after landing. Did you tell her to do that?”
“I don’t tell Stark what to do.”
“You’re hedging.”
Cam took Blair’s hand and held it against her middle. “I would have asked her to do it, if she hadn’t been planning to already. Your security is going to be doubled until after the wedding.”
“It could hardly be any heavier,” Blair said tightly. “I’ve got people with me all the time. And let’s not forget, soon I’ll have my very own personal reporter.”
“That hasn’t been confirmed.”
“Oh, please. Lucinda has decreed it.” Blair leaned her cheek against Cam’s shoulder. “I love her. I really do. But I can’t believe I let her use me the way she does. Is nothing sacred?”
“For Lucinda? Yes. The presidency.” Cam kissed Blair’s temple. “But she loves you too.”
“That doesn’t stop her from manipulating my private life.”
“She doesn’t see any difference between the personal and professional.”
“I used to think that about you,” Blair said.
“For most of my life that’s been true.” Cam shrugged. “It’s that way for most agents.”
“If you had to choose between me and your duty…” Blair shook her head. “Never mind.”
“You. I’d choose you.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that. I’m just tired.”
Cam released Blair’s hand and slipped her arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. “We’re all tired. But you can ask me anything you need to know, anytime.”
“I don’t want Dana Barnett inside my life.”
“You’ll be safer this way.”
Blair pulled away. “I’ve already got all the security I need. You said so yourself.”
“That’s not what I—”
“Forget it. Let’s just forget it. I already know how you feel. You agree with Lucinda.”
“Yes,” Cam said, feeling a barrier settle between them. On this one issue, Blair’s safety, she would never compromise, no matter how much Blair needed her to. Not even when it drove a wedge between them.
Diane held open her apartment door and peered at Blair, who’d arrived unannounced. Seeing Blair in tight jeans and a tighter black sweater, with her hair down and a wild look in her eyes, Diane was reminded of old times. Old times when Blair was unhappy and looking for trouble to take her mind off her troubles. What was different was that Patrice Hara, one of Blair’s Secret Service agents, stood just to the left of the door with her back to the wall in a position that gave her a view up and down the hallway to the elevator and the stairwells. In the pre-Cam days, Blair would have given her spookies the slip. “Hello, darling. You do know it’s after midnight?”
“The night is young.” Blair tossed her leather jacket on the chair as she crossed Diane’s living room to the minibar tucked into one corner. She pulled a bottle of wine and a corkscrew from underneath and set about opening it. Diane’s platinum blond hair fell loose to her shoulders and, barefoot and wearing pale blue silk pajamas, she looked ready for bed. “Am I keeping you awake?”
“Of course not—I was reading. I still keep New York hours.” Diane settled onto the arm of the sofa, watching Blair curiously. “Since you’ve gone domestic with Cam, you’re the one on a DC schedule. Up at an ungodly hour and no carousing until dawn anymore.”
Blair paused, the wine bottle suspended in one hand as she looked around the apartment. “I didn’t even think to ask if Valerie was here. I can’t get used to you living with someone.”
“She’s not here. And I’m not living with her.”
“Uh-huh.”
“She’s still…at work hardly seems to cover it.” Diane walked over to the bar, picked up an empty wineglass, and held it out. “And even if I were cohabitating, you can drop by anytime. What’s going on?”
“Cam is working late too.”
“That’s nothing new.”
Blair filled their glasses and sipped from hers. “We have a new member of the wedding party.”
“Really? I was about to tell you the same thing.”
“You tell first. I think your news is probably better than mine.”
Blair flopped onto the couch and propped her scuffed brown boots on the gleaming wood coffee table.
Diane curled up beside her on the deep red sofa, drawing her legs up beneath her and turning sideways to face Blair. “I got an e-mail from Emory. She’s coming into the city tomorrow for some kind of grant meeting and she mentioned she was going to spend a few days here before heading out to Colorado. I invited her to get together with us while we put the finishing touches on the wedding plans. Do you mind?”
“No, that’s great. I like Emory.” Blair stared moodily into her wine. “I’d offer for her to stay at my place, but who would want to stay there? I don’t even want to stay there.”
“I already told her she could stay with me, but she said she was fine at the hotel.” Diane tapped a polished fingernail on Blair’s knee. “What’s Cam done, sweetie?”
“What makes you think it’s her?”
“You’re fretting. Lucinda annoys you. Nosy reporters make you swear. I have even been known to irritate you now and then. But only Cam makes you fret and pine.”
“I’m not pining. I’m pissed off.”
“Okay.” Diane stroked Blair’s leg, then patted it. “So. Tell.”
“Lucinda had the bright idea of assigning a reporter to cover the wedding, and Cam agrees.”
Diane frowned. “You knew you were going to create a buzz. After the press announcement this morning, I’m surprised you don’t already have a news van parked in front of your building.”
“I do. Three of them.” Blair grimaced. “Fortunately, they can’t come within thirty feet of the entrance, so all they can do is yell questions. This situation is different.”
“What, Lucinda promised some reporter a one-on-one? You’ve done plenty of interviews before.”
“We’re not talking an interview,” Blair said glumly. “
We’re talking a member of the wedding. She’s showing up tomorrow and she’s going to be with us all day, every day, until this is over.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not.”
“And you agreed?” Diane got up to refill their glasses. “Why?”
“I didn’t agree. Lucinda ordered it and Cam backed her.” Blair waved Diane and the wine away. She hadn’t even finished half a glass yet. She hated being at odds with Cam. For so many years, anger had fueled her life. Her resistance to the restrictions imposed by her father’s career had actually invigorated her. Certainly, her rage had inspired some of her best paintings. Since Cam, she had learned to compromise, and the new balance in her life had led her in surprising new directions in her art. She didn’t resent the changes, but there were times, like now, when she needed Cam to take her part. And it hurt when she didn’t. “You know what it’s like saying no to Lucinda.”
“But that’s not what has you drinking wine on my sofa in the middle of the night.”
“It’s silly, but I want Cam to care about the wedding like I do.”
Diane wrapped her arm around Blair’s shoulders and hugged her. “Congratulations. I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard you say that you wanted something from a lover before. Other than hot sex, that is.”
Blair laughed. “That’s one thing I never have to request from Cam.”
“Don’t gloat.”
“You should talk,” Blair teased. “If wanting something from her is such a good thing, why does it feel lousy?”
“Just because we want something doesn’t mean we’re going to get it, or even that we should. But we rarely want things from people we don’t care about, and you never let yourself care before.”
“You already know I’m crazy about her.”
“I know,” Diane said, “but that’s not the same thing.” Diane rubbed Blair’s shoulder. “But she probably can’t read your mind, so you’ll have to tell her what you need.”
“It sounds silly when I say it out loud.”
“No it doesn’t.”
Blair sighed. “Besides, she’s not going to change her mind about the reporter.”
“Cam doesn’t strike me as the type who likes publicity any more than you do. Why is she going along with it?”
Blair said nothing.
“Aha. What aren’t you telling me?”
“Cam thinks it will make security easier because we’ll be able to limit my exposure. Fewer press conferences, fewer interviews. You know the drill.”
Diane laughed. “You don’t really expect Cam to say no to anything that’s going to keep you safe?”
“I am safe,” Blair said vehemently. “Have you looked outside your door? Hara will be there until I come out. And there are more downstairs, outside the building and in the car.”
“Well, I happen to be glad about that. I wish Valerie had people following her everywhere she went.” Abruptly, Diane stood and strode to the balcony doors. She wrapped her arms around her body as if she were cold. “I know the lack of privacy is horrible for you.” She spun around, her eyes fierce. “But you have a team of experts to keep you safe. No one is protecting her.”
“I’m sorry,” Blair said softly. “I should be grateful, and I’m not. And you must be sick with worry over her.”
Diane pushed her fingers through her hair and heaved a deep breath. “I want to believe that no one cares about her or about what she might know any longer, but it’s hard. I know that agents like her have very little connection to one another, and almost no one except their handlers even know who they are. But every time she walks out the door…”
“You’re afraid she won’t come back,” Blair said, voicing their shared nightmare.
“I can’t tell her because she already thinks I’ll be better off without her.”
“God, they don’t get it, do they?” Blair said in exasperation.
Diane laughed. “Which part? That if we’d be better off without them, we wouldn’t be so terrified of losing them?”
“For starters.” Blair held out her hand and Diane took it, settling beside her on the couch once again.
“So,” Diane said. “Tell me about this reporter.”
“The only good thing about this,” Blair said, “is that she’s not any happier about it than I am. Dana Barnett. She’s—”
“The investigative reporter? I’ve seen her on television. God, she’s gorgeous.”
Blair leaned back and regarded Diane through narrowed lids. “I thought you were off the market?”
“Off the market, yes. Dead and buried, no.”
Blair laughed. “She’s very good looking. She also seems tough and smart and doesn’t want this assignment. So maybe she won’t bother us very much.”
“She can bother me all she wants,” Diane muttered.
“Well, don’t expect me to run interference. I’m out of practice.” Blair nudged her. “And don’t forget that Valerie is armed.”
Diane smiled. “I never thought I’d say this, but I really can’t imagine being with anyone except her. God, that is terrifying.”
Blair leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “Tell me about it.”
Paula Stark rubbed her eyes and picked up the most recent stack of intelligence reports in one hand and a cold cup of coffee in the other. She sipped absently while scanning the memos from that day’s summaries, focusing on the sections that had been highlighted by Iggie Jackson, the acting communications coordinator while Mac was in Colorado. She paid particular attention to anything mentioning Andrew Powell, New York City, the Midwest, patriot organizations, or Blair. Five of the twenty pages were devoted to excerpts from newspaper articles, Web posts, speeches, or other responses to the official White House press release regarding the upcoming wedding. All of the usual suspects were represented—fundamentalist Christians, the Roman Catholic Assembly of Archbishops, the Anglicans, and any number of other religious institutions opposed to gay marriage—but what interested her most were several statements from patriot organization leaders. She circled one from Randolph Hogan.
“Something interesting?” Cam asked as she dropped into a swivel chair next to Paula.
“One of the right-wing paramilitary guys posted a blog blaming Blair for the decline of…just about everything. The family, the church, and the state of the nation.”
Cam frowned and held out her hand. She read the excerpt and handed it back. “He’s on our list of possible Matheson contacts.”
“I know. I got the update from Renee while we were in Washington.” Stark set the stack of papers aside. “Coincidence?”
“What do you think?”
“I think all these guys are in bed together. On the other hand, if he’s got ties to Matheson, he’d be pretty stupid to make a public statement like this.”
“Ego often trumps judgment,” Cam noted.
“It would be nice to have someone inside his camp.”
“Maybe we do, but the FBI has not been forthcoming about their sources.” A muscle bunched along the edge of Cam’s jaw. “And apparently they didn’t get the directive about interagency cooperation.”
“It’s going to take a while for everyone to adjust to this new hierarchy,” Paula said. “I’m not even sure who I work for anymore.”
Cam regarded her steadily.
Stark grinned. “Well, I know who I report to, Commander.”
“Nice save.” Cam laughed briefly, then her eyes grew serious. “We’re going to have serious chain of command issues in Colorado. You know about Tom Turner?”
Paula frowned. “I do now. He called this afternoon to tell me his people were on the ground out there. Coordinating with Mac and Ellen. He was very friendly and made it sound like we’d all be one big happy family.”
“Tom’s priority is POTUS, and it should be,” Cam said. “My concern is Blair.”
“So is mine.” Paula sensed Cam waiting, and she had no problem replying to the unspoken question. “My job i
s to secure the welfare of the first daughter. Nothing takes priority over that.”
“Thanks, Chief.”
“No problem, Commander.”
“I take it you’ve been briefed on the new member of the team joining us tomorrow?” Cam checked the plain-faced clock on the wall. One a.m. “Today, I should say.”
Paula pointed to a folder. “Dana Barnett.” She hesitated, judging her next words. She did not want to tread into personal territory with the commander, but she needed to know what kind of trouble she was looking at. “I don’t imagine Egret is pleased.”
Cam smiled wryly. “I didn’t know you were given to understatement, Chief.”
“We’ll handle it,” Paula said confidently.
“I imagine you will.” Cam stood, her eyes weary. “Probably better than I have. Good night, Chief.”
Paula watched her go, wishing she knew how to ease her burden. Then she reached for the last of the security bulletins, because they all had their parts to play even if they didn’t understand this new stage they’d been thrust upon.
Chapter Six
Friday
A little after six, Cam got up from the sofa where she’d fallen asleep a few hours earlier and walked into the kitchen. She had slept in a T-shirt and a pair of flannel boxers, and the apartment felt cold. Cold and empty. She contemplated making coffee, but sat at the breakfast bar instead and read the note that she’d read three times when she had returned from the command center the night before.
Cam, I’ve gone to Diane’s. I’ll probably spend the night. I love you, Blair.
Cam touched the lower right hand corner of the slip of paper with the tip of her index finger and slowly turned the note clockwise until the words blurred, although the message remained starkly clear. Blair was angry. Upset and angry. She’d gone to a safe place, not onto the streets or to a club or into a stranger’s bed. She had done that more than once—taken refuge in sex when the invisible bars of her very real cage had become too oppressive and she’d finally broken free. Even before Cam had fallen in love with her, she’d hated to see Blair waste herself on women who couldn’t begin to appreciate what it meant to touch her. Now, the idea of anyone else putting that hazy look of desire in Blair’s eyes, bringing that tremble to her lips, causing that quick catch of excitement in her breath was enough to make Cam lose any semblance of civilized reason. She became animal, primitive, driven by the instinct to guard what was hers. She slowed the revolution of the notepaper and read it again.