by Nicola Marsh
Smiling, she patted my arm and stood, glancing into the distance. “He’ll be returning soon, so I must go.” She hesitated. “If you’re wondering why I told you all this, it’s so you understand what motivates him, and to have patience.”
Placing her hand on my head, she spoke so softly I barely caught the words.
“You will be together. It’s destiny.”
After Uriel left, I picked up the stick she’d dropped and started practicing ogham in the dirt.
One vertical line and one horizontal for Beithe, the letter B, birch. Added another horizontal line for Luis, L, the rowan tree. Another line for Fern, F, the alder. Another line, Sail, S, for willow.
I’d learned ogham by rote, its symbols, letters, trees and meanings. While I still struggled with a lot of it, I found the symmetry between the symbols and trees intriguing.
Before I knew it, I’d drawn the symbols for holly and ash within a heart. Grimacing at my corniness, I quickly scrubbed it out as a shadow fell over me, and I blushed, hoping Joss hadn’t seen it.
“I was just doodling—”
A hand clamped over my mouth, squashing my lips against my teeth so hard I tasted blood. “Come with me now if you want to see your mother alive.”
Terrified, I frantically scanned the grove for signs of Joss as my assailant dragged me upward, ignoring my wriggling and squirming.
“I won’t hurt you. Unless you make me.” As I contemplated kicking him in the shins, he growled, “Listen. Cadifor is on the verge of killing your mother. Only you can save her.”
The fight immediately drained out of me and I sagged like a limp doll.
“I’m going to remove my hand from your mouth so we can talk. If you scream, your mother dies.”
I nodded and he eased his hand off my mouth. I immediately swung to face him, gasping in horror at those familiar twisted features. The man who’d come after me that day at Joss’s cottage, who’d yanked out half my hair, was the man standing before me.
“Keenan.” His odd little formal bow conflicted with the violence emanating from him in petrifying waves. “Come, we need to talk.”
With one last desperate glance over my shoulder for Joss, I followed Keenan into the forest, the towering trees soon swallowing us.
We hadn’t walked far when he held up his hand. “This is far enough.”
I gulped.
“I’m not here to harm you,” he said.
“Unlike before, when you almost scalped me?”
He frowned. “It was necessary; I followed orders. Now I come as an old friend of your mother’s.” My disbelief elicited a slight quirk of his upper lip in what passed for a smile. “Cadifor is using her to get to you. If she doesn’t comply, he’s going to harm her.”
I swallowed past the lump of fear lodged in my throat. “What can I do?” It was easier to play along with him for now, hear what he had to say, and plan how the hell I was going to give him the slip.
“Give up your quest.”
“Just like that?” I scoffed, increasingly doubtful Keenan had come here on anything other than another lapdog excursion for Cadifor. His master said jump, sit, roll over, and Keenan performed on cue.
Though—he hadn’t harmed me, which blew that theory. If Cadifor had sent him to come after me again, I doubted we’d be standing here talking. I’d probably already be in a body bag.
“It’s the only thing that can save your mother.” He paused, his beady eyes glittering with malice. “And you want that, don’t you?”
“You don’t know what I want,” I said, looking away.
“Don’t waste my time.”
He stepped closer and I suppressed a spasm of dread. Standing this close to him was like standing next to an open freezer. My first instinct was to scramble backwards. My second, to run. But I stood my ground and eyeballed him, clamping my jaw to stop my teeth chattering and giving away the waves of terror racking my body.
I couldn’t concentrate thanks to his unnerving proximity, but I had to think. This didn’t make sense. Cadifor wanted Arwen, and according to legend, I was the one who had to find it. If I called off the quest, wouldn’t we all lose?
I folded my arms and glared. “This is crazy. I need to find Arwen.”
“Cadifor believes he’s close to securing Arwen. If you interfere … ” He shrugged. “He will have no reason to keep your mother alive.”
I gulped and jammed my hands under my armpits to stop them from shaking. “You’re bluffing.”
Malevolence radiated off him. “Am I?”
I wanted to tell him to stick his advice, to crawl back into the dark, dreary hole he’d come from and stay there with the rest of the underground slugs. But all I could muster was a glare. I hated his smugness, hated the fact he’d hurt me once, hated the power he wielded that could hurt me all over again in an instant.
“Are you willing to take the risk? You have a chance to save your mother, to see her for the first time, to ask all those questions burning you up inside.”
“How did you—”
His harsh laugh sounded like staccato gunfire. “A girl discovers her mother abandons her as a baby. You must have a thousand questions.”
Screw you hovered on my lips, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
I hated every inch of his gloating face: the pockmarked cheeks, the thin lips, the cold eyes, the scar running from his right temple to his chin.
This was the man who had terrorized me.
This man was part of Cadifor’s band of merry monsters.
Why the hell should I trust him?
But he was right. I couldn’t take the risk of defying him and losing the chance to confront Mom.
“What do you want me to do?”
Before he could respond, something crashed through the undergrowth like a hundred stampeding elephants. I whipped my head around in time to see Joss burst into the small clearing, leap over two logs without breaking stride, and crash into me, sending us both flying.
My hard landing wasn’t half as bad as it could’ve been, considering I landed on top of him. Keenan had already vanished.
“Not a bad cushion,” I said, patting his chest as I sat up.
“You’re making jokes at a time like this?”
“Adrenalin,” I muttered.
He helped me up. “Do you know who that was?”
“Keenan. He introduced himself. Who knew monsters had manners?”
Joss stared at me, stunned, as I peered into the gloom. Part of me was thrilled at his timely arrival, part of me was annoyed I’d lost my chance at hearing the rest of what Keenan had to say.
“What are you doing?”
“Checking to see if he’s still around.”
“Are you crazy? You sound like you want him to be.”
“We were … talking.”
He swore, loudly. “Keenan has killed many people on Cadifor’s behalf and here you are, having a leisurely early morning chat?” He grabbed my upper arms, shook me. “What were you thinking? Why didn’t you scream? Call for help? Do something?”
Bringing my forearms up, I broke his hold. “Because my mom would be dead if I did that.”
“And you believed him?” He stalked away before swinging back to face me. “As Cadifor’s lackey, it’s his job to lie, cheat, manipulate. He’ll say anything, do anything, to serve his master. What did he want?”
Feeling more than a little foolish, I murmured, “To give up my quest in exchange for my mom.”
Joss shook his head, his pity annoying me more than his high-handedness. “Come on, Holly, you’re smarter than this. For all you know, your mom and Cadifor are awaiting Keenan’s return right now, laughing at how gullible you are.”
“But I saw him threaten her, physically manhandle her—”
“Visions are just that, a vision of the future. Doesn’t necessarily mean they’re always true. We have the power to change the future.”
“Then what’s the point of any of this … ” I turned
away and swiped a hand across my eyes to stem the angry tears welling there.
“Hey, it’ll be okay.”
I stiffened when he slid one arm around my waist and the other across my upper chest, holding me close, leaving me no option but to lean back against him. I wanted to struggle, to turn around and thump him for not telling me everything, to release the frustration that nothing I believed in was ever real.
I closed my eyes, sighing when he lowered his head and snuggled into the crook of my neck, willing half his strength to seep into me. I had no idea how long we stood like this, our bodies pressed intimately together, the heat slowly building, words unnecessary.
I turned my head slightly to the right and our eyes locked for a long, loaded moment before the hunger consumed us and we were kissing, hot, open-mouthed kisses that eradicated everything that had come before.
Our hands were everywhere, eager, exploring, tugging at clothes, desperate to touch bare skin. I gasped when his fingers delved between my T-shirt and the top of my jeans, skimming the skin there, trailing up my back, lingering at my bra strap.
When he stopped I pressed against him, showering kisses along his jaw, tasting the salty tang of his skin, eager to lick but not that brazen. In that instant of hesitation he pulled away, holding me at arm’s length, his eyes dark as midnight, beautiful yet haunted.
I held up a finger to his lips. “Don’t say it.”
He didn’t say a word, and I traced his lips with my fingertip, a slow, leisurely exploration of the fullness, the softness, the dips in the corners.
It was torture, for both of us. I could see it in his wild-eyed expression, his barely-restrained need struggling to burst forth.
He did what I expected. He stepped back.
That was my moment to tear into him about his hidden agenda, about how I felt betrayed yet again by his withholding the truth.
Instead, all I could think about was how much I wanted this, wanted him. Crazy? Irrational? Absolutely, but nothing about my life made sense anymore; might as well let my hormones throw me into further turmoil.
Ignoring the expected rejection digging sharpened claws into my heart, I cocked my head to one side. “I know we’re not officially bonded, but it’s pretty obvious there’s something between us. Maybe we should explore it further?”
“No.”
If he’d shouted or yelled or ranted I might’ve thought we had a chance, but that one, soft, flat refusal scared me more than anything.
“We can’t keep ignoring—”
“We can and we will.”
I took a step forward; he took a step back in a bizarre avoidance dance.
“Come on, Joss, it won’t affect the quest—”
“You’re kidding me. Want to know where I was when Keenan grabbed you? Doing something special. For you!”
I took back what I’d thought a moment ago. I preferred words quietly spoken over yelled.
He pulled a necklace out of his pocket. He dangled it on the end of his finger, the silver links impossibly delicate against his strong hands. A white oval crystal hung off the chain and caught the light as he thrust it toward me.
“I was getting this for you. Because I see what this quest is doing to you. Because I want you to have something solid, something tangible, to remind you of how great you’re doing. Because I wanted to apologize for keeping the truth from you, for deceiving you into thinking I’m your chosen warrior. Because I still haven’t told you the whole truth—”
“I know about your dad.”
He swore. “Mom?”
“Yeah, she kinda let it slip. Thought I already knew.”
“And you still like me?”
“I’m working on it,” I deadpanned. What I felt for my warrior went way beyond “like.”
“This is crazy. You should be ripping into me for lying to you. You should be pushing me away.”
He was really yelling now, and a flock of nearby birds took flight. “Want to know the real reason I was getting this for you? Because I think you’re incredible and I want you to be mine!”
I was beside him in an instant, wrapping my arms around his waist, burying my face in his chest.
He took a deep breath, and another, and I waited. After a few moments, he slid his arms around my waist and held me tight.
“There’s too much at stake for us to complicate things … ” He smoothed my hair and I almost purred. “Wanting you is a distraction I can’t afford. It’s a miracle Keenan only wanted to talk today. He usually maims first, asks questions later. And I won’t put you through that.”
Heartsore, I pulled back and glanced up at him.
“You mean too much to me.” He cupped my cheek and brushed his thumb along the tear tracks.
“Yeah, I mean so much you use me to get to Cadifor to avenge your dad’s death, and you fake being my bonded warrior for the same reason.”
“Holly, don’t—”
“Don’t what? Speak the truth?”
He winced. “That may’ve been my motivation at the start, but then I met you … ”
“And you were belligerent and abrupt and standoffish.”
A spark lit his eyes. “Didn’t you ever have some dorky kid in first grade throw erasers at you or tie your pigtails to the chair?” He tugged my ponytail for emphasis. “Guys are dumb. When we like a girl, really like her, we’re horrible.”
“You must really like me a lot, considering how distant you’ve been.”
He smiled and I sucked in several breaths to ease the tightness in my chest. “You’re a smart girl. I think you’ve already figured it out.” His smile faded all too quickly. “But it doesn’t change the fact we can’t—”
“Save the excuses, Warrior Boy. I’m going to play things your way for now. But after this quest is over, watch out.” Before he could react, I pressed my lips to his in a quick snatched kiss. “Now put this on me as a constant reminder I’m yours, whether you want to admit it or not.”
With a shake of his head, he took the necklace from me, closed the clasp around my neck, and stood back. “Beautiful.”
I fingered the pendant. “What type of crystal is it?”
“I wasn’t talking about the crystal.”
Rolling my eyes, I jabbed a finger at his chest. “You can’t do that. Can’t shout ‘hands off,’ then say stuff like that, okay?”
“Okay.”
From the devilish glint in his eyes, I knew I wasn’t the only one making the rules.
“What is it?”
“Snow quartz.”
“Meaning?”
I held my breath, wondering if he’d say a deep, abiding love that never died. Yeah, right. His eyes crinkled at the corners as I mentally slapped my head for thinking something he could easily read.
“Snow quartz indicates profound change is coming. It supports you while learning lessons and helps during times of overwhelming responsibility.”
“It’s perfect.” I smoothed the flat stone between my thumb and fingers. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
He turned away, embarrassed by my gratitude. I snagged his arm. “Joss?”
“Yeah?”
I expected him to shrug me off, but he didn’t. I stepped closer, so close I could see indigo flecks in his eyes, could hear his slightly ragged breathing. My grip on his arm eased and my fingers glided over the soft skin, the light smattering of hair tickling my fingertips as my hand slid downward.
He had a chance to pull away, but he didn’t; his eyes locked on mine as my hand slid into his, coming home.
I pressed my palm to his, mine so much smaller and insignificant, his callused, the ridges and bumps testament to his devotion to things that mattered to him.
My fingers intertwined with his, a perfect fit. As I glanced down at our hands, I sighed with the rightness of all this.
When he tried to pull away I wouldn’t let him, holding on tighter and he shook his head in resignation. “What were you going to say?”
&n
bsp; I mustered my bravest smile. “Our time will come.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
The Sorority agreed with my plan. With amendments.
I was forbidden to venture anywhere near the underground labyrinth, entrance or not. When they explained the number of people who’d disappeared without a trace—and were probably dead or part of Cadifor’s consorts—I agreed with them.
Oscar went in my place. It was mean of me, but I was relieved it wasn’t Joss or Mack or Maeve, the three members of the Sorority I was closest to. He met with Keenan, gave him the message, and waited around for a response. It came in less than ten minutes: Cadifor agreed to our terms.
Leave Nan alone.
Meet me in the Cave of the Sun on June twenty-second.
I wished I could’ve bargained for my mom’s safety too, but that would have meant revealing my precognitive ability and my little tête-à-tête with Keenan, so I didn’t go there. For now, securing Nan’s safety had to be enough. I’d deal with the rest later.
I spent the weeks leading up to summer solstice studying, reading every book on Arwen the library had, and trying to get a feeling for what this mystery icon actually was. Legends guessed—sword, amulet, gold statue, ring—but the fact remained that nobody knew.
Guess I would soon find out.
My weekends at Eiros continued to be enlightening as I threw myself into all things druid, while my weeks at C.U.L.T. focused on lengthy practical sessions to master my abilities as Brigit grew increasingly agitated.
At least the Sorority was clear in their motivations: they wanted Arwen to defeat Cadifor and keep the Innerworld safe. Brigit had professed the same goal—keep the world safe from darkness—but her almost maniacal focus on securing the icon had me seriously doubting her motivations.
I hadn’t run into Maisey again; shame, when I wanted to question her further. And when I’d rocked up to her dorm room, some scrawled tacked-on sign announced she was doing some study off campus. My hackles had risen. What if Brigit had done something to Maisey the same way she’d reportedly experimented with Drake? Or had Maisey simply gone off campus to shack up with her biker boyfriend for a while?