“Speaking of telling,” Keiffer continued, apparently happy to live on the edge. “You should think about telling her how you feel, Ben. Ask her to stay. Or make plans to commute. Whatever floats your boat.”
“There’s no need to ask because I don’t feel anything.”
“Except sexually frustrated,” Mason supplied.
“Yeah, there’s that.” Keif nodded toward the split wood. “And there’s the proof, so don’t even try to deny it, Ben.”
His jaw cracked from his clenched teeth that were having a contest with his fists to see which could clench the tightest.
“I don’t see what the big deal is anyway. So you have feelings for Lea. That’s a good thing. She’s a good person. You know she wouldn’t screw you over.”
His jaw was winning.
“He’s right, Ben.”
Ah hell, not Mason, too. If any of his brothers would’ve been on his side, the one where you boycott relationships, he would’ve thought it was the brother who’d been dump on his wedding day. Yes, that’s the person Ben would’ve expected in his corner.
But no. Mason was staring all serious, singing Lea’s praises.
The thing was, he knew she was a good person. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was the relationship.
He didn’t want one.
With anyone.
“You’re both missing the point. I’m not interested. So can it.”
“The point is New York City. You hate it. And because she loves the city and wants to work there, you’re going to hold it against her. And dump her.”
“Yeah, you’re willing to let her go live there when you know damn well you’re going to be miserable here.”
“Yep, that’s it exactly. You have me pegged.” He decided to appease them so they’d let him alone. “Now, can we please get to loading up this wood?”
Ben knew his brothers meant well, but they were way off. He didn’t have feelings for Lea. Other than sexually.
“No.” Keiffer shook his head. “It’s not healthy. You need to admit your feelings, bro.”
“For the last time, I do not have feelings for Lea!”
An audible gasp had the three of them turning to see Lea standing behind them, mouth open, face pale, arms full of white take-out bags, and from the aroma, his nose detected bacon.
Chapter Twelve
Ah, hell. Ben’s stomach clenched tight, then twisted at the pain he saw her trying to blink from her over-bright gaze.
“Sorry.” She set the bags on his picnic table then cleared her throat. “There were some specials left over from breakfast. I just thought I’d bring them here so they didn’t go to waste.” Then she turned and walked back around the house.
Shit.
He glared at his brothers before rushing after the woman. “Lea. Lea, wait up. Would you wait?” he asked, cutting in front of her to lean against her car so she couldn’t leave. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
“Don’t,” she said, placing a finger to his mouth, cutting off his words. “Just don’t. If you try to explain, you’ll lie to me, and you don’t like to lie, Ben.”
Christ. He was the one who hurt her, and here she was worried about him.
“And I don’t want to be lied to, either.” She removed her hand and smiled. “It’s okay. It’s my fault. I forgot. Got mixed up. The lines got blurred a little in my head. We’re friends, and we have sex. That’s all.”
He blew out a breath and ran a hand over his head. “Look, I’m sorry, Lea. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know.” She squeezed his arm. “You’ve always been upfront. You told me from the start, it’s just sex. An added bonus to our friendship. I remember now. We’re good.”
He stared at her. Her face was no longer pale, but her gaze wasn’t quite full of life. It was more guarded, not open, just…friendly.
Something rippled through his gut.
She was just giving him friendly.
“You should eat that breakfast while it’s still warm,” she told him.
Now that she was here, he didn’t want her to go. “Why don’t you stay and eat it with me.”
She smiled, but it didn’t fully reach her eyes, and he was staggered to discover how much he missed the warmth.
“Sorry. I can’t. I have to get back to the restaurant. Mary called off sick. I just stopped by on break.”
The woman was always thinking of others.
“I-I was also stopping by to tell you I got a job.”
His chest tightened. Damn. He thought Keiffer had been kidding. “In a museum?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “In New York City.”
“That’s terrific. Congratulations. Just what you wanted.” He pulled her in for a hug, and hoped he sounded sincere, because for some reason, he didn’t feel too good.
“Thanks.” She hugged him back. “I start next Monday. I can hardly believe it.”
That was what had been missing, that life, that light, it was back in her voice, and he drew back in hopes he’d catch a glimpse of it in her eyes. “I’m happy for you,” he said, and meant it.
If working in that damn city could put the sparkle back in her eyes, then he was glad she’d gotten the job, because she should always have that sparkle. And looking into her eyes, he was drawn in, again, and filled with that strong need to touch her and be with her.
And that shook him.
Now, more than ever, he needed to distance himself. She was leaving next Monday. In nine days. Shit. Probably sooner. His chest was tight again, so tight it hurt to breathe. He cleared his throat. “When do you leave?”
She released him to lean back against her car. “Not until next Saturday. I don’t need to look for a place to stay. Gwen said I could stay in her penthouse.” Lea laughed. “It’s ironic. I’m moving to New York, and my sister is moving back to the Poconos.”
Yeah. Ironic.
The ball of anxiety increased in his chest. He didn’t want her to go to the city. She might get hurt there. Who would protect her?
Who had protected Gwen? No one, and she was just fine, the voice in his head reminded. But there were others who used to work in the city, and they weren’t fine.
The increasing pressure in his chest was causing a dull ache behind his eyes. He knew he should say something to Lea, but he couldn’t figure out what.
“Well, I’d better get back to the restaurant.” She straightened from the car and stared at him.
When he realized he was still blocking her door, he moved, but not before he placed a hand on her arm. “Are we good?”
She smiled, and all was right with the world because it reached her eyes. The warmth surrounded him and chased away the invading chill.
“Yes, we’re good.”
“Can you come back here later tonight? Maybe get your brother or sister to stay with your dad?”
She blinked, eyes wide. Yeah, he couldn’t blame her. He’d never asked her to spend time at his cabin. Just the resort. But, he couldn’t explain it. He needed her here. Needed to have a memory or two of her here, before they were done making memories…
“Ah, yeah. Gwen’s on her way in now. She’s been coming in almost every weekend.” Her gaze was still disbelieving, and it gave her an impish quality. “I’ll bring us leftovers from the restaurant to eat, if that’s okay.”
Without giving it much thought, he pulled her close and kissed the tip of her nose. “Perfect. Does six work for you?”
Her hands crept up around his shoulders as she tipped her head back and smiled. “Trust me, Ben, you’re packing more than six inches.”
He barked out a laugh that relieved some of his mounting pressure, then he cupped her ass and ground against her. “How does six o’clock sound for my more than six inches?”
“Perfect,” she repeated his earlier reply.
Her breath was hitched as he captured her lips for a hot kiss he hoped would hold them both over until later. She tasted of coffee and pumpkin spice, and hot. Her fingers brushed
the back of his neck, and his body tingled to life. And wanted more. Now. So he broke the kiss and set his forehead to hers. “You’re damned addicting.” His breathing was ragged as he tried to rein in his rampant desire.
“Ditto.”
By the time she backed out of his driveway, he was already counting down the hours until she returned.
A few hours later, Lea refilled the napkins in the holders on the tables at restaurant. There was a lull in the rush. Mr. Tierney and old man Simpson sat at the counter discussing the recent World Series. More like arguing, but that was how they discussed. Three other tables were occupied, but they were all served and almost finished eating. Her gaze kept drifting to the clock on the wall. Three forty-seven. Was it broke? Darn hour hand didn’t seem to be moving. She wanted it to be five o’clock so she could leave to get ready to head to Ben’s.
A smile tugged her lips as she carried the extra napkins back into the supply room. She still couldn’t believe he’d asked her to come to his house. His home. This was huge, but she knew not to make a big deal out of it or it would be a short visit.
She also knew it wasn’t nice to eavesdrop, although, technically that wasn’t what had happened this morning. Her presence had gone undetected by the three brothers as she’d rounded the corner of Ben’s cabin. Lea had been about to greet them when Keiffer told Ben to tell her how he felt. Her heart had shot to her throat at the thought of him actually feeling more for her than lust. And if he was talking to his brothers about her, then he must care.
But, then he’d opened his mouth and stopped her in her tracks.
For the last time, I do not have feelings for Lea!
The unexpected remark, coupled with the unexpected vehemence in his tone had crushed her heart, which then dropped to sink in her stomach. That’s when she knew. That was when Lea realized and acknowledged what she always knew…she was in love with Benjamin Wyne. The debilitating pain of feeling as if someone had reached in and ripped out her heart was the confirmation. For a second, she had been incapacitated. To hear the man she loved loudly state he had no feelings for her had sucked.
Even now, her stomach turned just thinking about it.
But her saving grace from being completely and totally devastated had been the look of deep remorse that had darkened his eyes when he’d seen her standing there. If the man didn’t have feelings for her, he would not have given a rat’s ass about her overhearing his remark, therefore, he would not have any need for remorse.
Those thoughts had given her the strength to walk to her car, then to hold her head high when Ben had followed and tried to explain. Again, not the actions of a man who had no feelings for her.
Still, the sting did remain. She knew he didn’t want to feel anything for her, but he was fooling himself if he didn’t realize he already had them. Those unrealized feelings were the reason she’d agreed to see him tonight. They had one week left. Correction. She had one week left. One week to help the emotionally challenged man realize she meant more to him than just good sex.
She was back at the counter, checking out the last customer when two very good-looking Wyne brothers entered the restaurant, dark gazes full of regret.
“Lea, can we talk?”
“Sure.” Her heart suddenly rocked. “Is something wrong? Is Ben okay?” Did he change his mind about tonight and send his brothers to call it off?
“Ben’s fine,” Keiffer rushed to reassure, and she felt lightheaded with relief. “But we aren’t.”
Mason nodded, coming closer. “We feel really bad about this morning.”
“Yeah.” The younger Wyne eyed her anxiously. “We wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“And to tell you not to pay any mind to what Ben said. The idiot actually cares about you. He’s just too stupid to realize it.”
God, she hoped so. She was counting on that.
“Yes, our dimwitted brother is too busy controlling his feelings and bottling them up to even know he has them.”
“I know.”
“Then you know he cares about you?”
She sighed. “Yeah, just probably not as much as I care for him.”
There, she said it out loud. Funny, it didn’t make her feel any better.
“I wouldn’t be too sure.” Mason grinned. “Ben is happier when he’s with you.”
“Hell ya,” Keiffer exclaimed. “You’re the only one who can make him smile, a genuine smile that reaches his eyes. And he’s less sharp when you’re around, too. Not so grumpy.”
They were sweet, trying to make her feel better, trying to point out her affect on Ben. But in truth, it was probably the age old feel good antidote.
Sex.
Yep, sex could also be the reason the man was happier with her, the reason he smiled a genuine smile, and wasn’t so grumpy. Yeah, because she helped him relieve stress. With sex.
“And then there’s the fact he’s asked you to go to his cabin. He never has women at his cabin, Lea,” Keiffer pointed out.
“I know.” She had to admit, she was a little surprised Ben even told his brothers about her upcoming visit.
“Then you also know it’s a big deal,” Mason said.
She nodded, trying not to get those hopes up again.
“Just don’t say anything,” Keiffer advised. “Or my dumb brother will clam up tight.”
She smiled. “I know that, too.”
The younger brother laughed. “I keep forgetting you grew up with him. You know him as well as we do, well, okay, maybe more now, which is cool for you but—”
“Keiffer, shut up,” Mason said, shaking his head.
“Shutting up now.”
“Thanks, guys.” She smiled at them both. “I appreciate your concern. I’m okay. Just taking it one day at a time. Not poking the bear too much at once.”
Mason nodded. “Smart.”
“And patient. I sure as hell couldn’t put up with the lot of us,” Keiffer said, then cocked his head as if he’d just remembered something. “Hey, I almost forgot. Congratulations on the job.” He pulled her in for a hug. “I’m going to miss you around here.”
“Yeah, congratulations, Lea.” Mason gave her a hug when his brother released her. “Gabe’s won’t be the same without you.”
“Thanks, guys.” She fought back tears, having always known leaving her friends and family would be hard. “I’ll be back on the weekends and stuff, so I’m sure we’ll bump into each other.”
The guys stayed for pie and coffee, and when they were gone, Lea had less than thirty-two minutes to kill before she would leave to get ready to meet Ben.
Ben got out of the shower and dried off, his thoughts on nothing but Lea since she’d backed out of his driveway that morning.
She was leaving.
Moving to New York City.
No more rendezvous after this week.
You could go see her…
No, he couldn’t, and wouldn’t. September 2001 he vowed never to set foot in that damn city ever again, and he wasn’t about to break that vow. Not even for Lea.
He rubbed at his chest, still unbearably tight. Their time was coming to an end. He had to face it, and admit he was going to miss the incredible woman. Miss that cute little laugh that fluttered its way through him, making him smile. And her smile, he was going to definitely miss the way she smiled with her whole heart in her eyes, and the way it always made him feel alive. Damn, yeah, he was going to miss that, and her laugh and her sighs, the hitched ones, her breathy-little pants that turned into long, drawn out moans as she came.
A knock sounded on the door.
Ah hell.
He was too hard to wear jeans, and too hard to wear sweatpants. He either painfully covered his condition or prominently showed off his condition.
Dropping the towel, he glanced at his alarm clock. Quarter to six. Since he wasn’t sure if it was Lea, he carefully slipped into his wranglers, leaving his top button undone, and rushed to answer the door.
It was Lea, ho
lding another white bag with more delicious smelling food, and staring slack-jawed at him, heat and need suddenly smoldering in a gaze that slowly swept him from head to toe and back. “Hi.”
“Come in.” He took the bag from her and used all the restraint he had not to act on the desire blazing in her eyes, or they’d never make it out of the foyer.
Opting not to speak, he backed up to let her in and motioned for her to walk before him until he got a handle on his control. Which needed work because he couldn’t stop himself from leaning in to inhale her sweet, sexy scent as she led the way to the open kitchen. He set the food on the counter then turned to face the silent woman, standing only a few feet away, devouring him with her gaze.
“Is there a reason you’re only half-dressed? Not that I’m complaining.”
Her voice was so deliciously low and hungry he felt it to his very tip. He pulsed.
Damn, she was potent.
“You were early. I just got out of the shower when you knocked.” He swallowed. “Maybe I’d better put on a shirt, so we can eat.”
“No. Don’t,” she stepped forward, blocking his escape. “I love what you’re wearing. You’re so hot I can barely breathe.”
He clenched his jaw against the heat skittering down his spine. “Lea, if you don’t stop looking at me like that, we—”
“God, I hope so.”
His zipper was cutting off his blood supply. “But the food…”
“Can wait. I can’t.”
He sucked in air. “Are you sure, Lea? I don’t want you to think that’s all we have to do.”
What the hell was he saying? Of course that was all they did. They didn’t have a relationship. They had fun.
“I’m sure.”
Cocking his head, he gave into the mischief whispering inside. “One of us has on too many clothes.”
An answering grin pulled at her lips. “True,” she said, then shocked the shit out of him when she lifted her blue sweater over her head, unhooked her bra and dropped them on the floor at his feet.
Oh, hell yeah! He was definitely on board with this. She was right. She looked hot. Smoking hot with her hair hanging down, gorgeous breasts hanging out, tempting peaks tightening right in front of his eyes.
Wyne and Dine (Citizen Soldier Series Book 1) Page 19