by Mia Ford
“Good job you’re as smart as you are beautiful,” Evan says with a wink.
From anyone else I wouldn’t like these comments that fly at me every so often, catching me off guard, but I can’t help getting a cheap thrill when Evan speaks to me like that. I still think it’s the lack of male attention that I’ve had forever, but that doesn’t make it any less fun. “What would I do without you?” he says.
My cheeks heat up and I fix my eyes on the papers in front of me for a moment. “Oh well, I don’t know about that… I’m just trying to do my job.” I cringe, noticing how dorky I sound, but what else can I do? I can’t respond in any similar way. I have to behave myself. I suck at flirting anyway, so it’s probably a good thing. This man who undoubtedly spends every night with a different supermodel isn’t going to be impressed by me anyway. “Trying to save you your business.”
Evan tips his chair slightly so his head moves closer to me so I can feel his breath tickling my cheek. That causes a ball to form in my throat as I’m paralyzed to the spot. I only have to look at Evan to know that he’s thinking some terrible thoughts. His eyelids have grown heavy and there’s a glaze over his eyes. Despite the fact that I’m much more plain and boring than he’s used to with my scraped back dark hair and my make up free face, plus this pant suit that doesn’t exactly show off my body, Evan seems to find me attractive and that thought alone is almost intoxicating…
Knock, knock.
Me and Evan leap apart like we’ve been electrocuted as someone knocks at the door. I can feel all the color drain from my face as I try to refocus my eyes on the papers in front of me. All the images and words written down might be swimming everywhere but I’m doing what I can to at least look like I’m busy. I have no idea what almost did or didn’t happen with Evan but then I’m glad we got interrupted. My brain nearly switched off then, I nearly acted on impulse, and that would have been utterly dreadful. I could have screwed up everything, my non-existent love life and my budding career.
“Come in,” Evan calls out in gruff, slightly strained voice.
“It’s only me,” Ally’s sing song voice rings through the office. I almost roll my eyes at the sound of her voice. She seems to want to make it very obvious to me that she has some kind of stake on Evan which is just fine by me. She can have him, I can’t. I don’t want him anyway, not really…
“Oh hi, Ally, is erm…” Evans sounds uncomfortable. “Is everything okay?”
“Oh yeah, it’s fine.” She steps closer to him, right up into his personal space which is a place that she seems to be very familiar with, and she brushes something off his shoulders. It’s a familiar gesture that makes my heart pang with that loneliness again. I want someone to touch like that. “I just wanted to remind you that you have that call… later on.” That seems to be some not too subtle code with them two. She’s always going on about calls. “I just wanted to see if you’re going to be ready or not, or do you need me to reschedule it.”
Her words make me feel silly. I don’t want to get tangled up in some love triangle. In a way, I’m already in one – not that the other two people know about me – so I don’t want to add to that drama. Luckily, I won’t have to see Evan forever, he isn’t like Grant, so soon enough I can push all of this to the back of my mind and never think about it again.
“I need to go actually,” I announce while leaping up. “I’m sure you are busy with all your calls.” I don’t meet with either of their eyes while I make my passive aggressive remark. “And I have stuff that I need to do as well. I’ll take my paper work with me and leave your bits for you to complete…”
“But, Katy,” Evan interrupts, sounding a little sad. I shouldn’t be satisfied that he doesn’t want me to leave but I can’t help myself. “I thought we were going to have lunch later on?”
“We were?” I shake my head, vaguely recalling a conversation about food but I didn’t think that it was anything set in stone. “I don’t think I can. I think we both need to take a break from this today and come back to it with fresh eyes in the morning, after a good night of sleep.”
I’m torn. Part of me wants to stand my ground just to show Ally that I can’t be intimidated by her. I don’t want to play her game but I also don’t want her to win. On the other hand, the much more rational side of me just wants to get the hell away from this weird and confusing situation. I don’t want to be near Evan while he’s making me feel all odd inside, and I also don’t want to see Ally looking at me like I couldn’t ever compete with her even if I wanted to. I already know that, I don’t need reminding. No one would ever look at a drab old me over her. I’m irrelevant, but I don’t need to be reminded. I need to just go, I need to get out of here while I still have a tiny bit of dignity.
“Oh, right, I see. So, we could just do lunch another day then?”
This isn’t something that I need to have a working lunch for, I’m not a client that he’s trying to win over and I haven’t even really done anything that he needs to thank me for either. It seems he just really wants to take me for lunch. It’s been so long since anyone’s wanted to feed me that I can’t help feeling intrigued. I want to know more about Evan Debroils, I want to know more about what he’s like out of this office… if he ever leaves. He seems to be a workaholic, just like me.
“Fine,” I reply while swinging my handbag over my shoulder. “Let’s do lunch tomorrow then.”
Evan’s face lights up, he looks like a child who’s just woken up on Christmas morning to lots of presents. The sight of him makes my heart race at a million miles an hour in my chest. It causes a warmth to explode from my heart and to trickle through all of my veins. My mouth runs dry and for a moment it’s as if I can’t get enough air in my lungs to breathe properly.
I cannot like him, I think determinedly to myself. I need to stop this now. It’s silly, I’m like a hormonal school girl. I’m an adult now, I need to act as such.
“See you tomorrow then,” he tells me with a smile. “I look forward to it. Meeting in the morning, then lunch. I’ll take you somewhere nice since you’ve worked so hard for me.”
“Great.” Oh God, he’s making my heart hurt. I want him too much. “See you then.”
“Yeah,” Ally joins in through gritted teeth, reminding me that she’s here. “See you tomorrow, it’s been really great to have you here.”
She hates me, but that doesn’t mean I have to act like her. “See you then, Ally, thank you. That’s very find of you to say.”
She is another reason why I can’t ever like Evan, not that I really need a reason. She likes him, they have or are probably sleeping together which I’ve noticed every single day that I’ve been here. It’s messy, much too messy and full of drama for me.
It’s much better for me to keep my distance as much as I can until all of this is over. Work is fine, lunch is okay if maybe pushing it a bit, but that’s all. If I keep this simple and I push all my emotions down, then I might just survive this unscathed.
Hopefully!
Chapter Nine – Evan
Oh my God, what is wrong with me? I think with a smirk as I take my seat opposite Katy in the cozy little Italian restaurant I’ve chosen for lunch. This isn’t a date, it’s just a normal business meal.
I know that, I’m not an idiot. Just because I’m paying for this out of my own money rather than the business expenses doesn’t make it any less of a work thing, so I don’t understand why I feel so giddy inside. Last night I could barely sleep, I just kept thinking about what it would be like to be alone with Katy in a much more relaxed atmosphere. I lay awake in my bed all night long planning what I would say to ensure that we don’t have an awkward silence. Then all morning I’ve spent wired, like an excitable bunny. Even Katy has noticed it, it’s embarrassing. It’s as if I’m on my first date ever! It’s crazy. I can’t work out why I’m being such a freak.
Once my butt hits the chair, I cough to try and cover up the rapid breaths falling out of my mouth. I also want to cover u
p the noise my heart is making as it rattles against my rib cage, trying to burst free from my chest. I wish I could be as cool as I normally am, this suck!
“This is a nice place,” Katy tells me with a thin smile. “Do you come here a lot?”
I can see what she’s asking, she wants to probe if I bring a lot of women here. I can see why she’d think that because it has got much more of a romantic date like feel to it than what I really planned for. There are candles in the middle of each table, which are lit despite the fact that it’s mid-afternoon, the tables are small which means we’re sitting quite close to each other, and the high backs to the chair give quite a private, intimate feel. I suppose this is the sort of place that I’d bring a date. Not that I ever date. Even in the old days when I used to fool around a lot I didn’t really date.
“No, I came here once with a business colleague,” I tell her honestly. “But I think we sat at a much bigger table, this feels a bit too close, doesn’t it?” I figure I should just address it so she doesn’t feel awkward. “Do you want me to ask if we can move?”
“Oh no, it’s fine. I’m too hungry to start moving tables,” Katy laughs as she picks up a menu. “It’s been so long since I’ve eaten something that didn’t come out of a take away carton that I’m just too excited for words. I think I can hear my stomach growling.”
As her eyes devour the menu it seems like it’s the best thing that she’s ever seen, I examine her closely. It’s nice to be able to look at her without her eyes glaring back at me like she’s trying to work out what I’m thinking. She’s so inquisitive all the time, like she needs to know everything in my brain. I don’t know if it’s the lawyer in her, or if she’s simply a control freak like me. I feel the same way, I suppose. I want to know everything that’s going on inside her mind, but I’m so busy being closed off myself that I can’t read her. I can’t let her into my life for obvious reasons, but I wonder why she’s so shut off. She’s got such high walls, it’s crazy. I wish I could break them down.
She’s so beautiful when she doesn’t think anyone’s looking at her. When her walls are down and her face is relaxed, she’s truly the most stunning woman that I’ve ever seen. I just want to cup her face in my hands and kiss her hard. Even when she has her usual style of scraped back hair and no make-up on, she’s still gorgeous, but today she’s allowed her freshly washed hair to spill down her back and it looks like she might actually have a little bit of make-up highlighting her eyes. I don’t know if she’s done that because of lunch, or because of me, but it excites me.
“I think I might have a calzone,” Katy finally looks at me with a grin. “They look really good here. What did you have the last time you came?”
“Oh, a pizza from what I remember. Or maybe it was pasta. I can’t remember. It was good though, everything here is good from what I’ve heard.”
At that moment, the waiter comes over and interrupts me from getting into a full blown weird rant about why everything tastes so nice. I’m acting so odd, like this is the first time that I’ve ever spoken to a woman in my entire life. I don’t know what’s happened to the cool, calm, and collected version of me that I am usually. Who am I now? What is going on? Katy has turned me into a school boy with a crush, like a nerd who’s trying to talk to a cheerleader.
It must be because she isn’t falling at my feet, that’s all I can think of. She hasn’t yet flashed flirty eyes at me, and she hasn’t draped over me. I’m not used to it and it has me hooked. I guess that leaves me with two pressing choices, either I keep things in the professional manner that they should be and I behave like an adult. After all, I need Katy, she’s doing the most important work for me that anyone has ever done, I don’t want to do anything that could stop her continuing on my case or I really will lose everything… or I could flirt harder. I could make her admit her feelings for me to herself and I could try and get her walls to come crashing down around her.
Urgh, this choice is so much harder than it needs to be. It’s driving me nuts.
Once the waiter leaves, I stare at Katy hard and she notices. I must be giving her such an intense look that she can’t even act polite and pretend that I’m not being odd.
“Is something going on?” she asks me curiously. “You’re… looking at me strangely.”
This is it, my moment to make a choice. Do I act like an adult or do I act like a horny teenager with absolutely no control? Rationality and my natural impulse battles itself inside me hard.
“I’m just… looking at you,” I answer pitifully, not really picking a side. “You’re…”
“Yeah,” she replies raspily, shocking me. “I think I know what you mean.”
That stuns me into silence. I wasn’t expecting that. Does she know what I mean? Does she feel the same way about me? She’s obviously being cryptic because of the professional relationship that we have, but just knowing that she feels something calms me down just a little bit. Maybe I don’t need to know anything more, maybe that’s enough…
But as we look at each other and I feel that deep stirring in my chest, I know this isn’t enough. I know I want more. I can almost feel my fingers itching to reach forward, to grab her, to tear off her clothes and to kiss every damn inch of her skin. I don’t even mind that we’re in public, everyone can damn well watch if they want… actually no, I don’t like that at all. If things ever were to go that way with Katy I wouldn’t want it to be something seedy like what I’ve had with Ally. I’d want it to be something special, something different. Oh my God, what is wrong with me? I think again.
“So, do you have any questions for me?” Katy asks me with a question in her eyes. “Is there anything you want to know about the plans we’re setting out?”
Right, business. That’s what we’re here to discuss, so that’s what we should focus on. It really doesn’t matter if we’re sharing feelings with each other, work comes first. “I don’t know, I don’t think so. You’ve been really clear on everything.”
“Good, good. Right. Well now we just need to get some official documents drawn up. I need to make some calls to some people, and you need to get some signatures, but after that we’re almost ready for our meeting. That’s pretty good, right?”
I nod, not really having anything to contribute to this conversation now. I really feel like we’ve covered everything this morning. “Yes, that is good. I’m… excited.”
I don’t know how excited I am actually. Mostly I’m just nervous. I’m anxious about all of these changes that will affect my company that I’m not controlling. Maybe I did push too hard, too quickly and I created a mess of things, but that was my decision. Everything I did, I decided. Now this is all going to be controlled by everyone else. The banks are going to be agreeing on what I can and can’t do, and I’m just going to have to agree on it. It sucks. I don’t like it at all. The banks don’t know about my father and all the heart that he put into it, they don’t understand why I want to keep certain aspects of it as it is. They’re just going to be heartless and do what they think will make the most money.
I hate it, but I have to go along with it.
Katy seems to sense my anxiety because she reaches forward and she touches my hand. “It will be okay. You do know that, right? You can trust me. I will make this work for you. I actually have a lot riding on it myself, you know, this isn’t all about you.”
As she lets out a laugh, I can hear the strain there. There’s something to that comment, and I need to know what it is. “You do, huh?” I ask while I lean in closer to listen to her.
“I do actually.” Her cheeks taint pink. “I’m up for partner at the law firm.”
I don’t know what that means, I don’t really speak lawyer, but I’m sure it spells out promotion. “Well that’s great news. You definitely deserve it since you are so amazing at your job. In fact, who do I need to call to put in a good word for you? Who do I need to discuss your amazing abilities with to make this partner thing happen for you?”
Kat
y giggles appreciatively and she tucks stray strands of hair behind her ear. “Oh well that’s really kind of you. But you can’t put in a call for me, I haven’t really done anything yet. We don’t know which way it’s going to go. I’m not saying that I’m going to fail, I’m just saying we can’t kiss any ass yet… even if I need to be made partner desperately.”
“Oh well with you in charge I do know. I’m sure you’re going to kick ass for me. In fact, I’m banking on it. And you should be a partner, you deserve it.”
She smiles at me, the sweetest grin that I’ve ever seen in my life and she thanks me. As she speaks I stare at her lips with a deep fixation. Katy has the most gorgeous mouth that I’ve ever seen. I want to kiss her. That urge keeps washing powerfully over me, almost knocking me from my seat. I don’t think this is just something I want to do because she hasn’t let me yet, I think I might really like her a lot. I think I might be developing feelings for the first person in years. I don’t know if that’s something I can ignore.
Shit, I’m a mess. What am I going to do?
Chapter Ten – Katy
I can feel something happening between me and Evan. It’s been happening all day long. Something powerful is changing between us, and I don’t know what to do about it. I could feel something underlying under the surface all morning, but we had business to distract us then. Lunch has been a different matter. We haven’t had anything else to take our focus off one another. Even when we’ve tried to talk about something else, the tension has still been there.