by Mia Ford
When I got off the last call, I leaned back in my chair, opening my email to send responses back that I had neglected to address that morning. As the email loaded, I leaned my head back in my chair and laughed to myself. This was fun, at least it was for now. I had no intention of letting this carry on forever, but I also had no intention of letting Ava go. I opened my eyes and leaned forward, looking at the new messages in my inbox. Suddenly, I froze, staring at a message from Ava’s father, Dean. My mouse hovered over the message for several seconds and fear bubbled up in my stomach. What if he had found out about Ava? That couldn’t be it. I was pretty sure if he found out about Ava, he wouldn’t be sending an email. He would be stomping through the office raising hell and dragging her out of there like a twelve-year-old caught sneaking out. I clicked on the message and began to read.
Tanner,
It was offsetting to see you at the polo match after so many years, and my actions toward you may have been unwarranted. I’d like to sit down with you, talk about everything. There is no reason to spend our lives angry at one another. If you are free tonight, pick a place and just let me know when and where and I’ll be there.
Dean
I sat back in my chair, at a loss for what to say or do. Dean seemed like he was reaching out, wanting to smash decades of animosity and anger. He had been my best friend for many years, and I loved him like a brother. This email must have taken him a lot to write, knowing how stubborn he was. I couldn’t pass this opportunity by, even if it meant upsetting Ava. I was going to go to dinner with Dean and at least hear him out, and I would tell her the next day, making sure to calm her fears.
I looked up several restaurants, not used to picking places that weren’t for romantic reasons. I didn’t want to romance Dean. I wanted to have a nice dinner, but make the situation comfortable and inviting. Fine dining was off the table. I knew how much he hated fine dining. He may be an extremely wealthy man, but when it came to food, he liked meat and potatoes. I called up the local steakhouse, Chima, and made a reservation for the two of us. I made sure the table was somewhere relatively private and comfortable, so we could talk openly without having to worry about other people listening in. I also wanted to make sure we had some sort of privacy, so if things got heated, there wasn’t some huge scene to be made.
When I finished up the reservations, I took a deep breath, the reality of the situation hitting me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t know what made him change his mind, but part of me was excited, while the other part of me was terrified he was going to find out Ava. She was deadly serious about not letting her father know, especially if he was in the mindset of hating my guts like he had been for a couple of decades. I typed out a reply and read it to myself several times before hitting send.
Dean,
It’s good to hear from you, and I agree, life is too short to bicker like we did at the polo match. I let my irritation and anger get the best of me as well. I made reservations at Chima at eight tonight. I put them under both of our names, so if you get there before me, you can grab a drink. I look forward to talking.
Tanner
It seemed good enough, giving him the boost I knew he was looking for from my apology and being open to talking through our issues. For some reason, there was this weight lifted from my shoulders that I didn’t even realize was there. For the first time since Dean and I went our separate ways, I felt okay with my company, okay with everything I had sacrificed, and didn’t feel angry about anything from the past. It was amazing what one little email could really do. I didn’t want to get my hopes up because there was a good chance we would leave this dinner in a huff, never talking again. But there was also a chance we could leave with a fresh start. That would be good for me, for Dean, and for Ava, because she could finally come clean and not feel so bad about lying to her father. It was an all-around good idea to go to this dinner, and hopefully, it would turn out as good as I felt.
Chapter 14: Ava
Talk about frustrating. I had spent the rest of work the day before stewing in my own irritation because Tanner had made plans for dinner on Friday and given me absolutely no choice in the matter. I was supposed to be in charge of all of this. I was supposed to be the one who called the shots when it came to us having any kind of relationship beyond a professional one. However, I couldn’t deny that I found his arrogance almost sexy. I lay in bed that night thinking about how mad I wanted to be, but I couldn’t deny I was extremely turned on. So, turned on, that I considered calling him, but I turned over and forced myself to sleep instead.
When I woke up, I was groggy and frustrated, more sexually frustrated than anything else. I took a hot shower to wake up and got ready for the day. I wondered what crazy things this day would bring, especially since I couldn’t seem to go even an hour without some kind of drama. When I got to the building, I climbed into the elevator and leaned back against the wall. Before the doors could shut, Tanner shoved his arm in and climbed inside next to me, breathing heavily as if he’d made a run for it. I cleared my throat and smiled at him, moving over to the corner and leaning back. I didn’t want to make a big deal about him being there with me, but his cologne smelled so damn good.
Instantly, I could feel desire start to raise up to my chest. I crossed my legs at the ankle, feeling the heat coursing between my legs. It was raining outside, and Tanner had water dripping down his neck. I followed as a drop moved from the edge of his hair and slid slowly down his smooth, tanned skin, falling beneath his collar. I imagined it continuing down his large muscled back, his shoulders flexing as it tickled his skin. I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath, leaning back and trying to ignore the fact that I wanted to hit the stop button and fuck him on the elevator. Instead, I ran the pictures of our meeting the other day through my mind to remind myself how cold and collected he could be. Before I could get through them all, I sensed him scoot closer to me. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was staring at my face, his back pressed against the elevator as well. He looked like he wanted to say something, but I thought if I opened my mouth, he wouldn’t hear anything more than my lust for him and that had to stay buried deep inside of me.
“I have something to tell you,” he said, looking down. “I met with your father for dinner last night.”
“What?” My eyes got bigger and I stood up, all lust completely washing out of my system. “Wait, you did what? Say that again, please.”
“Your father sent me an email yesterday,” he explained. “He apologized for our fight at the polo match and wanted to meet so we could talk. I agreed. It was so good, Ava. We talked through everything that happened between us for the last ten years. We talked about the split of the business, our animosity, our anger, and the fact that we always considered each other family. It was like a weight off both of our shoulders.”
“Did you tell him I work for you?”
I was stunned and confused, and I barely knew what to say. That was something he should have told me about. What if he felt so comfortable, he told my father about us, about me, about everything? I couldn’t believe I was standing there having this conversation with him. So much for a morning without any damn drama. It was like I was a pawn in this whole situation and what happened to me made no difference to Tanner. He was looking out for himself at every pass, completely oblivious to how things would affect me.
I put my face in my hands and groaned, not wanting to hear whatever answer he had. My life was beginning to crumble around me and I was given no choice in any of it. Maybe I should have taken the job in Sweden I was offered instead of this one. Maybe I had made the wrong choice in all of it.
“Of course not,” he said, turning to me. “That isn’t my business to tell him, but now it might be easier for you. I thought maybe if your father and I were back on good terms, then you could let him know everything and stop feeling guilty for lying to him. I know how much that bothers you.”
“You want me to tell him I’ve been lying to him this whole time?” I started
to get angry. “You want me to tell my father that I betrayed his trust and on top of it all, I was fucking you? Are you out of your goddamned mind? You didn’t think that this was something you might should have warned me about? Like maybe sent me a message or walked across the hall and told me you were having dinner with my father, so I could be prepared. It’s like you don’t ever use your damn brain unless it has to do with business. Lord, this is a mess.”
“No,” he said shaking his head confused. “I mean, don’t tell him then. I thought it would be a good way to have a clean start. I don’t mean to hurt your father. I mean to take some stress off you.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “I know you didn’t mean any harm, but damn, this just makes everything more complicated, and it adds you to the mix. You just rekindled your friendship with my dad, and now you are going to start it off by keeping something from him.”
“Nothing about this is simple, Ava,” he said quietly.
“No shit,” I said.
As soon as the doors opened, I stomped out of the elevator, not stopping at the lounge. I went straight into my office and slammed the door, leaving him standing in the elevator as if he had actually done something wrong. I was so freaking confused at that moment. He hadn’t told me anything about his dinner plans with my father, nothing. This all could be extremely messy if we didn’t play it safe. Why, after all these years, did he pick now to decide that my father was so damn important to him? Why did he go to dinner like it was top secret and not even give me a heads up? Everything was a damn mess, and I didn’t even know where to start to fix it. Part of me wanted to quit, to say screw it and start over somewhere else. If I was going to lie about this, I could lie about why I left, too. At that point, lies seemed to be the name of the game in my life, either me dishing them out or me receiving them from everyone around me.
I looked down at my cell phone, and it was Tanner calling. I pressed the ignore button and tossed my phone on the desk. I didn’t want to hear anything from him at that point. I needed to breathe. I felt like I was starting to suffocate in my own damn life. I couldn’t decide whether I should be mad at him for lying or mad at myself for allowing myself to get into this position in the first place. I was a grown woman, and I couldn’t blame Tanner for all of this. I had lied to my father before I even started my first day at MJ, and Tanner had agreed to go along with it, not that he had much of a choice if he wanted to keep me on staff.
From there, it had continued to snowball out of control until it landed right where I was, sitting there not knowing what my next move should be. I wanted to stop playing games, to live back in the real world, to not lie to my father anymore, but I had dug myself a hole that I didn’t know how to get out of. The fact that Tanner was exasperating the situation was frustrating as hell, and I couldn’t figure out how I felt about him from one minute to the next. It was like my heart was taking both sides of the fence, and I was stuck in a mean tug of war battle with my own emotions.
I threw my phone in my purse, grabbed my umbrella, and stomped back out of the office. Tanner’s door was shut, and I leaned around the corner, looking at his secretary. She smiled at me and then scrunched her eyebrows as I whispered.
“I have to leave,” I said. “Please tell Mr. Johnson I had an emergency. But wait until I'm in the elevator please.”
“Okay,” she said, confused. “Hope everything turns out okay.”
“Thanks,” I replied before turning and walking toward the elevator.
I hope everything worked out okay, too. My mind was all over the place, trying to figure out how I felt. Nothing really had changed as far as my father was concerned, except for the fact that Tanner was now going to have to lie to keep my existence there at MJ a secret. Telling my father that I was sleeping with Tanner wasn’t even something I would tell him if he knew I was working there, so I wasn’t worried about that part. I just didn’t even understand what I was doing with my life. I had thought I’d figured it out, but after Tanner showed up at my place on the day of the polo match, everything I had figured out just drifted away in a ball of ecstasy and sweat.
I stepped into the elevator and turned around. As the doors shut, I watched Tanner step out into the hallway, looking at me as I left the office. I caught his eyes but looked away, glad that the doors shut before he had a chance to say anything. I just needed some time to myself, some time to figure out how I was feeling about everything. I knew there was a part of Tanner that did what he did because he truly thought it would help my situation, but he didn’t seem to really understand how that parent-child relationship worked.
When I got out of the office, I opened my umbrella and walked along, not wanting to jump into a cab just yet. When I reached the opening to the park, I decided to go for a walk, watching the other umbrellas peppering the sidewalk and lawn. I loved when it rained, especially in the fall. The vibrant colors of the leaves exploded next to the gray of the sky. It was like one of those doctored photos where everything was black and white except for the leaves on the trees. As I walked along, listening to the water hit the umbrella and trickle down, I could feel my shoulders beginning to relax.
This was my life, no matter how much I seemed to have screwed it up, and I couldn’t take back any of it. I was disappointed in myself for going against my gut instinct from the beginning, but beating myself up was not going to solve anything. I still had an amazing career and a bright future, and MJ was going to give me that resume boost that would really get me going in this financial climate.
Now, all I had to figure out was what to do with Tanner.
Chapter 15: Tanner
Friday was finally here, and I couldn’t have been happier about that. Ava hadn’t talked to me since the elevator on Wednesday, and I wasn’t sure how she was feeling. I knew she was confused. She was angry about how everything had happened, but I tried to assure her I had done everything with her best interest at heart, even if I was misguided. I had sent her that text, and even though she didn’t respond, I knew she’d read it, and that’s what I wanted the most. I wanted her to know I was thinking about her and that I wasn’t being a prick.
Now that I was home, I had no idea whether Ava was going to show up for dinner or not, but I wasn’t going to not be prepared in case she did. I made dinner, kept it warming in the oven, and set the table with the plates, silverware, cloth napkins, and a large vase of red roses. I situated the bottle of wine on ice to the side and then stood back to admire my work. I hadn’t made dinner for a woman like that ever in my entire life, not even for the ex-wife. I did have it stapled in the back of my mind that Ava may not show up.
She knew I was still going to plan on her being there. I had sent her a reminder of the time, the address, and told her I hoped she came. If she didn’t, well that was completely on her and of her own accord at that point. She had all the information, so there weren’t going to be any excuses for her to take. If she showed up, I would be ecstatic, but if she didn’t, it would answer a lot of questions and put a lot of things to rest. If she decided not to come, I could move forward, release her from my mind, and understand that it was nothing more than a little fling that went as soon as it came.
I could really put my professional hat on and get back to work, treating her just like any other employee and get the merger underway without any more distractions. All in all, this dinner would answer a lot of questions for the both of us, both for each other and for the way that we felt. Sure, I would love to have Ava be just as wanting as I was for affection from me, but at the same time, if she wasn’t, I didn’t want to continue to pine for her. It was hard enough to convince myself to take this step, much less continue to chase after someone who didn’t want to be chased.
At eight, I forced myself to go in the living room and relax instead of pacing back and forth in the kitchen. We hadn’t spoken since the elevator, and it was starting to drive me crazy. If she didn’t want to talk with me, that was fine, but she could be an adult about it a
nd at least say it out loud. I guess in some way she had, but she was extremely full of mixed signals. She was pushing me away and then pulling me back close, and I was starting to feel like I was on a roller coaster. I sighed and put my feet up on the table, trying to avoid staring at my watch.
It was like every minute that ticked by, I got more and more depressed, surprising myself wholeheartedly about how upset I was at the thought of not having a personal relationship with Ava. Maybe I cared about her a bit more than I thought I did. I shook that thought straight from my mind, not wanting to have that kind of revelation on the night she might not show up at all. Now I knew how the girls I stood up felt like waiting for me, and I vowed right there never to do that to a woman again. It was a pretty terrible feeling. I looked down at my watch and realized it was a quarter after eight, and I started to make peace with the idea she wasn’t coming. I stood up and headed for the wine but stopped suddenly the sound of knocks echoed through the penthouse.
I walked to the door and opened it, looking out at Ava standing anxiously outside. She looked gorgeous in a black dress, black pea coat, and her hair curled in big curls cascading over her shoulders. She reached up and handed me a bottle of wine and smiled, her cheeks rosy red from the cold that had taken over the night air.
“I didn’t think you were coming,” I said kindly.
“I didn’t think I was either,” she said with a smile, “but here I am.”
I leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek, grasping tightly to the bottle of wine she had brought. The scent of her perfume filled my nostrils, and I felt so many different emotions flowing through me. I was relieved she was there. I was nervous that this meant I had to put aside my fears and move forward, and I was also extremely turned on by her, like I always was. She closed her eyes, and I lingered there at her cheek for several moments, just taking in her whole self. I couldn’t explain what I was feeling even if I tried, but I knew one thing. This was going to be a night where I treated this woman like a queen and not some girl I was just trying to hook up with. I stepped back and looked at how beautiful she was.