by Mia Ford
My mother was the least of my worries at that point, and I wasn’t going to spend another minute thinking about whether or not she was okay. I looked around the room thinking about my childhood, remembering how close my father and I were. My heart was aching, and it was my own damn fault. I had screwed up my relationship with my father, and I wasn’t even sure there would be anything I could do to fix it. At the very best, it would be completely changed for the rest of my life, something that was inevitable but I didn’t want to accept. I took a deep breath and turned toward the door, ready to leave and go figure out a way to find my father. My phone began to vibrate in my pocket, and I pulled it out, seeing my dad’s name on the screen.
“Dad,” I said frantically. “Where are you?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he growled. “How could you do this? What were you thinking? You weren’t, and that is the point. You lied to me about everything, and to make matters worse, you got involved with Tanner knowing he was not a good man.”
“I know,” I said trying to find the words. “I’m so sorry, Dad.”
“I am so sick and tired of being told people are sorry,” he yelled. “You and your mother are full of ‘I’m sorry’ and it makes me sick. Maybe, if you were that sorry, you should have thought about it beforehand. This is a betrayal I cannot look past. I don’t want to see you ever again. Do whatever you want with your life.”
“Dad,” I cried out as he hung up the phone.
I stood there with the phone to my ear, like he was going to magically be on the other end. Tears flooded my eyes, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My father had disowned me, and all because I couldn’t make a smart decision from the beginning. My father was a proud man and stubborn as hell, and the thought of not having him in my life was absolutely terrifying. I looked up as my mother rounded the corner, a look of concern on her face. Before she could say a word, I turned and ran from the house, jumping in my car and speeding down the driveway.
Everything was swirling around me so fast, and I couldn’t catch my breath for even a second. When I reached the gate, I stopped the car and got out, grabbing my stomach and screaming loudly. The cold air whipped around me as tears streamed down my face. I was in complete agony, unable to even fathom what had just happened. I was alone, completely alone, and I didn’t know where to turn. I needed to go home and sit in the quiet. I didn’t want to talk to Brianna or Tanner. They would only fan the flames and tell me lies about how everything was going to be okay. I didn’t need coddling. I needed to get my life back together.
Chapter 21: Tanner
It had been a couple of days since everything had happened with Dean, and I still hadn’t been able to talk to Ava for more than a few seconds. I hadn’t spoken to Dean either, but I had a very firm reminder of why every time I looked in the mirror at the giant bruise on my face. I had deserved that and more, seeing as how I had lied to his face, helped his daughter lie, and then started sleeping with her. Everything was a giant mess, and I wished I could take a vacation away from all of it. Still, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get Ava off my mind. Not only did I feel helpless in making everything right for her, I missed her terribly. I missed her at my house, in the office, and I missed her sweet caring smile that made my day go a hell of a lot smoother than it normally did. She had made an impact on me that was insane considering I usually didn’t let women get that close to me.
I could have demanded that she come to work, especially with the merger going full steam ahead, but I knew she didn’t need to be there on Monday. Still, it was Tuesday, and I had yet to see her, which was a bit concerning after everything that had happened. The last thing I wanted was to lose her with the company as well as my personal life. In all reality, she was an asset to every part of my world, including the company and that merger. As I walked to the front of the office I saw the doors to the elevator closing, and I ran forward, sticking my arm between the doors. As they slid back open, Ava was standing there by herself, her face pale and tired. I stood there staring at her, unsure of what even to say. There was so much to talk about, but at the same time, nothing really that would make anything better.
I stepped inside the elevator and held the button that kept the doors from closing shut. I wanted to offer something, anything, even if it was just my comfort. I knew she was being standoffish toward me, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still enjoy the fact that I could comfort her at any moment. I wanted to take her in my arms and promise her everything would be okay, but I knew that would just be another lie. The truth of the matter was, I didn’t know if anything would be okay in her life any time soon. She had so much on her plate that I knew her head had to be spinning.
Her father had found everything out about us, her mother was cheating on her father, and whatever glimmer of hope we had on Friday for a normal life and an actual relationship flew out of the door before we even had time to revel in it. If I had known that things would turn out that way, even though Friday was the best time I had ever had with a woman, I would have called it all off and kept my feelings to myself. I would have done anything to protect Ava from the fallout that we really didn’t see coming.
Ava looked completely shocked as I stood there in the elevator, staring over at her. She took in a deep breath and looked at me, a mixture of sadness and defiance in her eyes. I could tell she was trying really hard to be strong, but inside, she just wanted to break down in tears. I should have given her more time off than just Monday. She was going through some really serious stuff, and I was half of the reason, if not more, that everything was going on the way it was.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” she sighed. “Everything is a mess.”
“I know,” I replied. “If there is anything I can do to help, please tell me.”
“I’m thinking of leaving the company,” she said point blank.
I stood there staring at her, blinking, unsure of what to say next. Sure, the fact that she might leave had crossed my mind, but I thought that maybe that sensibility about her career would keep her in place. Even if she was right in wanting to leave, another change in her life like that wasn’t what she needed. She needed stability in her daily life so that outside of work, she could focus on getting herself back in line, making her relationships better, and fixing everything that we had destroyed in one fell swoop. I didn’t want to fight with her, but I also was not willing to let her go without a fight. She was so important to our company and the company was important to her. I knew she was emotional, and it was never good to make decisions when you were feeling that way. She needed to wait until she could really think it through. I knew if she did that, she would see how important it was for her to stay.
“Why?”
“I betrayed my father, Tanner,” she said shaking her head. “I lied to him for weeks, and then it all came tumbling down on me. I have to repair these relationships before I don’t have either parent in my life anymore. I made some really bad decisions, and no matter how much I want a career, I’m not like you.”
“What does that mean?”
“I can’t just let my most important relationships fall to the wayside so my career stays strong,” she said quietly. “I want both a family relationship and a career, and I’m not sure I can do that with your company, especially since it is going to be a sore spot for my father for a very long time.”
“Just because I made the choice to cut everything out of my life and just focus on my career, doesn’t mean everyone that works for me has to be that way,” I said. “You are very important to me and this company, and I will do anything I can to make sure you have the ability to have everything you want in your life. You can have a family and a career at the same time. You’re versatile like that. When I was coming up, I didn’t have anyone to show me that, and the woman I was married to was only interested in my money. It scared me away from everything, like I’m afraid your mother has scared your father away. It’s a lonely life that I chose, but it is not the only c
hoice. I know that now.”
“I don’t know,” she sighed, looking down.
“You don’t have to decide now,” I said. “In fact, I implore you to not make a decision right now, especially with emotions so heightened. Take the rest of the week off. Relax, take in a deep breath, talk to your best friend, do whatever you need to do to start correcting the mess that we made, and then, when you have a better grasp on everything you want and what it will take to get there, then make your decision.”
“None of this is easy,” she groaned. “I just want to crawl into a cave.”
“That won’t do you any good either.” I smiled. “Just take my offer, please. Give yourself some time. Don’t make any decisions now.”
I stood there staring at this beautiful woman in front of me, wanting so badly to wrap my arms around her and tell her everything was going to be okay. She needed someone to be there for her, but with the current situation, it couldn’t be me, no matter how much I wanted it to be. I needed to give her space, let her breathe, and then later, when things had settled, I could come forward and embrace her. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was for my part in all of these things. It was so easy to say yes, not thinking about the fact that though I had nothing really to lose, she had everything to lose. I didn’t think about her feelings or her life until it was too late to do anything about it. She deserved so much better than that.
“Please,” I said, stepping forward and reaching for her hand. “Take the week. Think about everything, don’t make a decision about your future just yet.”
“Okay,” she said, nodding her head and smiling before pulling her hand away slowly.
Relief flooded through me as I stood there looking at this beautiful woman, wondering if I would ever feel her embrace again. I didn’t want her to take a week. I wanted to be selfish and have her there across the hall from me. I wanted to keep her close, so she wouldn’t forget that I cared and that she had feelings for me. That would be selfish, though, and selfish behavior was what got us into that mess in the first place. I knew I had to give her space, let her work it out on her own, even if that meant she distanced herself from me. I cared enough about her that I wanted her to be happy, regardless of whether that included me or not.
I smiled back at her and stood there for a moment before backing out of the elevator. I waited and watched as the doors shut, my view of Ava completely gone. I felt like I had lost her in that moment, and it was almost too much to take. Leave it to me to completely screw up the first woman I had feelings for since my ex-wife. I was a complete and total mess in everything that I did. I turned and walked back to my office, telling my secretary that I didn’t want to be bothered, and shut the door behind me. I wanted to talk to Dean, try and help him realize how much Ava really loved him.
I picked up the phone and dialed his number, listening to it as it rang. After the third ring, he sent the call to voicemail and I hung up, frustrated that I couldn’t help in any way. Dean didn’t have to ever forgive me, but he needed to forgive his daughter before she set herself up for failure in her personal life and her career. If he knew what was going on, he would push back a bit and open up to the possibility of forgiving her. I knew he needed time, but it wasn’t something he had the luxury of at that moment.
I picked the phone back up and called him again, with no answer. However, this time I didn’t just hang up. I listened to the voicemail and at the sound of the beep I took in a deep breath.
“Dean, I know I am the last person you want to talk to, and that’s fine,” I said to the message. “But your daughter is hurting. She loves you so much, and I’m afraid that she is going to make rash decisions about her life because all she can think about is making things right with you. You don’t have to talk to me, but please consider letting Ava back in your life, before it’s too late.”
I hung up the phone and tapped my pen on the desk, feeling good that I left the message. At least he would hear the words, even if he refused to call me back. I knew he loved his daughter more than anything in the world, and for him, losing her was worse than losing his wife. I knew that once he calmed down, he would see that reconciling with Ava was vital. After that, though, I had a feeling I wouldn’t be in either one of their lives.
Chapter 22: Ava
Having time off sounded like a great idea at first, but only a day later, I was sitting on my couch feeling absolutely miserable. I couldn’t get my father off my mind, and I had called him a dozen times, with no response. All I could do was sit there, wondering what he was thinking, replaying the whole scene over and over again in my mind. There was something that kept nagging me, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on but I knew it had to do with Tanner. He was still on my mind, even after everything, and I needed to stop thinking about him. It should be easy. I should be able to think about all the problems and trouble that we had been through and realize that having him in my life was not what was best for me. Instead, I felt an ache in my heart, a place I was not familiar with, a feeling that I hadn’t had before.
I took in a deep breath and sighed it out, realizing there was nothing I could do to change how I felt. Maybe time would help, maybe it wouldn’t, but either way, I needed to focus on getting my father back into my life, and my life back into a rhythm. I shook my head and stood up, walking toward the kitchen. As soon as I stepped foot inside, there was a knock at the door, scaring the hell out of me. I turned toward the door, my heart racing. I ran across the room and flung it open, hoping beyond hopes that it was my father. However, as the door creaked open, I stared out at Tanner, standing in the doorway holding a single white rose. I sighed and stepped back, trying not to look too let down. Besides, I had just been thinking about how much I wanted to see him, and there he was, as if he could read my mind.
“Don’t look too disappointed,” he chuckled.
“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I thought you were going to be my father.”
“Still no word?”
“Not a peep,” I said looking down.
“I’m sure that will change soon,” he said in a caring voice.
I took in a deep breath and followed my eyes from his shoes, up his body and to his muscular chest. I hadn’t noticed when I opened the door that he looked freaking amazing in his suit and tie. Warmth flooded my chest, and I reached up, running my hand across my skin below my neck. It took me completely off guard, but there was no denying that I was lusting after this man extremely hard. He always looked so handsome, so charming, and my mind immediately ran back to the night we spent together at his house and how hot it was.
“What can I do for you?”
“I came by to make sure you were doing okay,” he said smiling. “And to be honest, I couldn’t let another day go by without seeing you.”
“Tanner.” I tried to act like I wasn’t moved by his words, but heat ran up into my cheeks.
“I know,” he said, interrupting my thought, “everything has been a mess. It really has. But I can’t get you off my mind. I just want to spend a little time with you.”
“I don’t know,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “I mean, every time we get together, something crazy happens.”
“Just for a little while,” he said, handing me the rose.
I looked at him and took in a deep breath, unsure if I would have the ability to keep myself under control if I were to let him in. He had come all this way just to spend time with me, something no other man had ever done for me. I mean, who was I kidding? There was no way I was going to turn this man away, no matter how much I hemmed and hawed at the decision. I stepped to the side and shrugged my shoulders, trying to keep a cool demeanor. I reached out and took the flower, bringing it close to my face and breathing in the sweet scent that reminded me of summer in my parent’s garden. I always loved the smell of roses, and it instantly started to put me at ease.
“Come on in,” I said with a small smile. “I need to break up my thoughts anyway.”
As he walked past m
e, I caught a whiff of his cologne, and the wanting in my chest turned to desire, causing me to stumble over my words. He turned back to me as I closed the door, and we stood there for several moments, just staring at each other. I didn’t want to admit it, but deep down inside, I knew he was exactly what I needed right then. I was incredibly upset with him, and utterly confused, but as I stepped toward him, I no longer had control of myself. I dropped the rose on the floor and reached for his arm, pulling him closer to me. Our eyes met and the view of his bedroom stare sent electricity through my chest.
There was nothing I could do to stop myself. I was already done for. Little did I know that the lust and desire between us would be so strong. I was not prepared, and I immediately fell captive to his large muscular arms and charming smile. He was familiar and light, and I needed him, even if I didn’t want to tell him that. He was someone who brought something positive into my life, even if the events surrounding us were hard to comprehend and were evolving slowly in my mind. He reached out and ran his hand down my cheek, leaning forward and pressing his lips against mine. As soon as our skin touched, it was like we disappeared from the chaos of the world around us, and our desire immediately took over.
Tanner lunged forward, grabbing me around the waist and lifting me into the air. He sat me down on the couch and pulled my shirt over my head, his face diving down into my breasts as his hands began to wander below the waist line of my pants. I leaned back against the couch and grabbed onto his hair as he flicked his tongue against my nipples. Electricity shot through my body and soft moans escaped my lips. He sat up with fire in his eyes and grabbed the seat of my pants, yanking them down and tossing them behind him before shedding his own shirt. He pulled my legs apart and grabbed my thighs, pulling my body down as he licked his lips.