TAILSPIN

by Jaimie Roberts

  “I want you to answer my question.”

  His deep breathing sets off my own. I don’t want him to affect me like he is, but I can’t help it. Nothing can happen, though. He’s drunk and will no doubt regret it in the morning again.

  “No,” I finally say, my lip trembling. “Now, are you going to let me go?”

  “Did you not want him to slide his hand up your thigh like this?” He lets go of my wrist and trails one rough hand from my knee all the way up to my thigh.

  “Devon, stop …”

  He starts kissing the side of my neck, pushing my dress up. “Did you want him to kiss you like I’m kissing you?” Grabbing my hip, he forces me against him, making him growl.

  “You don’t know what you’re doing, Devon. Stop.”

  His hand starts travelling to the hem of my knickers. Suddenly, he drops his glass and darts his tongue into my mouth.

  I can’t breathe. I certainly wasn’t expecting him to launch himself at me like this. If he wasn’t drunk and wasn’t so rough, I would probably enjoy it, but everything inside me is screaming for me to stop this.

  I start to wrestle with him, trying to push him away. He doesn’t budge. He keeps kissing me, trailing his hands all over. Putting all my might behind it, I give one big push, making him step back. “Devon, no!” I shout, slapping him across the face … hard.

  He covers his cheek, giving me a surprised look. Tears sting my eyes as I turn and run for the door, not looking back. I don’t even notice if he’s trying to stop me. I keep running, not stopping until I’ve gotten into my room and lock the door.

  Falling onto my bed, I cry into my duvet. I cry until there are no more tears left and I’m exhausted, soon drifting off.

  In my state of near-unconsciousness, I start to wonder:

  Why am I still here?

  I didn’t sleep very well. By seven, I was wide awake with yet another headache, but it’s from crying myself to sleep this time. I had drinks last night, but nowhere near the amount that would make me feel like this.

  Rather than feeling sorry for myself, I put on my big girl panties and take a shower, then try calling my dad. What happened with Devon last night needs to be addressed, but not right now. Right now, the only thing on my mind is that it’s my dad’s birthday and I need to talk to him. When three attempts at calling him fail, I try Charlie, but he doesn’t pick up, either.

  I start to worry. I even contemplate going next door and telling Devon how concerned I am. I know it’s stupid after the way he behaved last night, but speaking to my dad and knowing he’s okay is my number one priority.

  Deciding to bite the bullet, I get up from the bed and walk to the door, but as I do, I hear a knock, making me freeze.

  Is Devon coming to apologise? It would be so unlike him to do so. In his world, he can do no wrong, so last night will probably end up being my fault.

  With a sigh, I decide to get it over with. Knowing my mood, I’ll probably say or do something I may regret later. Maybe if I move back in with Dad, I can afford the drop in wages. It’s something I don’t want to have to do. Once you leave home, you’re not supposed to go back again.

  Placing my hand on the doorknob, I flick the lock. With a deep breath, I open the door.

  “Surprise!” my dad and Charlie shout together.

  I gasp. “What the—”

  “Careful, young lady,” my dad admonishes.

  “But … how?” We hug, tears in my eyes.

  “Devon knew how much it meant for you to have us spend the day together, so he ordered his private jet to come get us,” my dad says.

  “Oh, my god!” I shout. I don’t believe it. Devon acts like an arsehole, then does something like this? How can I stay mad at him?

  “That plane was something else,” Charlie says.

  My dad gives him a reproachful look. “Not to mention a certain stewardess on it.”

  “Legs that went on for miles,” Charlie whispers to me.

  I roll my eyes. “It certainly didn’t take you long to mention a woman in one form or another.”

  “You know me,” Charlie says with a smile.

  I give them another hug. “I can’t believe you’re here.” I look over their shoulders, but don’t see Devon. “Where is he?”

  “In meetings,” my dad said. “He told us that you weren’t to worry and we should have a good time, no expenses spared. We have a driver at our disposal all day. I, for one, can’t wait to see New York.”

  I hug him again. “Happy birthday, Dad.”

  He squeezes me to him. “Thank you, Andi Pandy.”

  I pull away. “Did you see what I left you?” I look at Charlie. “Did you remember to give him the present?”

  I feel my dad’s hand on mine. “Don’t you worry about a thing. I have it here.” He turns around and walks to the table in the living room, the present sitting there. We all sit down on the couch.

  “How long are you here for?”

  “Just until tonight,” my dad says. “Devon tried to get us an early-morning slot tomorrow, but we could only get one at nine o’clock tonight.”

  I feel a little disappointed, but so happy I get to see them for a while. “Well, you’re here, so let’s make the most of it.”

  “Definitely.”

  I look at the present. “Okay, open it so we can go get breakfast before we see some sights.”

  A couple months ago, my dad broke his watch. He was devastated because he had it for years. It didn’t look the best, but he loved it. When he had to throw it away, it gave me an idea. My father loves Ferrari, has for years, so I went shopping for a chrome Ferrari watch. It was expensive, but he’s worth it. I knew he would love it.

  With an expectant smile, I watch as he unwraps it. When he sees the box, he looks up at me. “You didn’t,” he says with a boyish smile.

  “Open it,” I urge.

  When he does, I notice a small tear forming in his eyes. “It’s beautiful,” he whispers.

  I let out a breath I didn’t realise I was holding. “Really? You like it? Because if you don’t, I can always—”

  “No, no, no,” he protests. “I love it. It’s perfect.” I watch as he places it on his wrist. He’s wearing a light blue short-sleeved shirt and beige trousers. The watch just sets it off perfectly.

  “It looks great on you, Dad.”

  “Come here,” he says, opening his arms. I wrap mine around him. “Thank you.” He reaches out for Charlie. “Thank you both for being with me today.”

  “Well, Devon set it up,” Charlie says.

  “We must thank him properly once you get home from your deployment,” my dad says with a nod. I nod, too, wondering how on earth I’m going to deal with him now that he’s pulled this stunt.

  Surprisingly, we bump into Aaron just outside the hotel. He’s with his company executive manager, Joanne Hawkins. She’s stunning with jet-black hair and legs that go on for miles. I can tell Charlie is smitten, and I think the feeling is mutual. We can’t talk long as we have sights to see and Aaron and his manager have meetings to attend. He wishes us a pleasant day, then wishes Charlie the best of luck in Afghanistan.

  “Nice chap,” my father says once we get in the car.

  “And that woman he was with …” Charlie gives a low whistle, making me roll my eyes. “You don’t think they’re together, do you?”

  I shake my head. “No, they’re not.” I’m not going to explain how I know that.

  We visit the Statue of Liberty, Times Square, and Central Park, where we have pizza and ice cream for lunch. Afterward, we do a bit of shopping before driving to the 9/11 memorial. We take our time walking around, smoothing our fingers over all the names of the people who met their untimely deaths here. It is both moving and inspiring.

  We take a walk along Wall Street before heading to the Empire State Building where we have to stand in line for a while. I have to smile at that. It was all effortless when I was with Aaron.

  After spending some time
there, we’re all exhausted, thinking of getting a quick something to eat before they have to head to the airport.

  “I had the most amazing day today,” I say as we sit in Olive Garden.

  “Me, too,” my dad says, lifting his glass. “To Devon, for making all this happen.”

  Charlie immediately follows suit, so I do the same. I know it’s coming to that time where Devon and I need to have a talk. How that will go is anyone’s guess, but I know we can’t go on like this for much longer.

  “To Devon,” I say. “Happy birthday, Dad.”

  “Thanks,” he beams. “It’s been the best. New York was everything I expected and more. I could easily live here.”

  I raise my eyebrow. “Really?”

  “Couldn’t you?”

  I look out the window at the hustle and bustle on the street. “It’s like London in the sense that it’s a city, but yes, I could definitely see myself living here. The lights, the ambience, the buildings… It’s all fantastic.”

  “Maybe we should all come here for a family holiday,” Charlie begins. “You know, once I’m back from …”

  He doesn’t say it. He knows the fact that he’s going to a dangerous country is upsetting enough for me. He doesn’t want to rub salt into the wound.

  “I would love that,” I say, smiling. He gives me a goofy smile right back. “You never know. You may even get to see Joanne again.” I wink at him.

  His eyes widen. “You never know.”

  After a gorgeous meal, we have the driver take us to the airport. I start crying. Even though I know I’ll see them again in a couple days, I still hate saying goodbye.

  My father asks me to say thank you to Devon, and then they wave as they enter the airport. The whole ride back to the hotel, I have a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. I haven’t seen Devon since last night, so I have no idea how he’s going to react once I do.

  After saying thanks to the driver, I make my way up to the room and notice neither Anthony nor Mark are in. Or maybe they’re just hiding in their rooms. I don’t hang around long enough to find out. Instead, I head in the direction of where Devon and I are staying. I notice his door’s shut. After dropping my things in the living area, I walk over and knock on it. When I don’t hear anything, I wonder if he’s in. I try again. This time, I hear him shout to come in.

  With a deep breath, I open the door. I’m about to say something, but all words fail me. Devon’s standing by his bed, a white towel sitting low on his waist. Water’s glistening on his skin, which explains why he didn’t hear my first knock. He must have been in the shower. Droplets cascade down his flawless torso, making me swallow hard. I could seriously lick him all over.

  But that’s not why words fail me. All the time I have known Devon, I thought I knew everything about him. I was wrong. Standing before me is a Greek god with not only a bronzed body and pecks I could kiss for hours, but he’s also covered in tattoos. On his chest is an eagle spreading its massive wings, its elegant head turned to the side. On one shoulder is a dragon curling itself like a snake, and on the other is his RAF insignia.

  “Cat got your tongue?” Devon asks. It’s only then I realise I’m gawking shamelessly. “Maybe you should take a picture. It will last longer.”

  I snap my mouth shut. Shit, I must look like a wanton hussy. Why am I here again? Oh yes. “I came to say thank you for today. It was very thoughtful of you to do something like that.”

  He runs his hands through his wet hair. Again, my brain is blank. “You’re welcome.” When I don’t say anything, he cocks his head to the side. “Is that all?”

  Shutting the door behind me, I say, “No, it isn’t.” I see the exasperated look on his face, but I don’t let it intimidate me. “We need to talk about what happened last night.”

  Grabbing another towel off his bed, he starts drying his hair. “Listen,” he says, looking at me, “I know I was out of line …”

  “Are you going to apologise?”

  “It won’t happen again.”

  I huff. “So you keep saying. Is that you’re apology?”

  “Isn’t it enough?” He sighs. “Are we about done here? Because I’d like to get dressed.” Stubbornly, I cross my arms. “I take that as a no. Suit yourself.” He rips his towel away, revealing his tight little butt.

  Sweet mother of all things holy… He could crack a nut with that arse!

  As he walks toward the dresser, I notice his muscles flexing with each step. I know I’m staring unashamedly, but I can’t seem to look away.

  Once he has his boxers on, he turns to me. Is it bad that he looks even better with them on? It’s like looking at a model.

  “You’re not saying anything, Andi.”

  Closing my mouth again, I swallow. When did talking become so hard? Looking away, I try to clear my errant thoughts. He tried forcing me to kiss him, for goodness sake!

  “Listen,” I say, walking closer. “I need to know what’s going on between us. We need to talk about it so I can move on.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again—”

  “But there is,” I say, imploring him. I walk closer, almost placing my hands on his chest. I need to keep my eyes above chest level. “Don’t you understand there is everything to talk about? You keep telling me there’s nothing, then you kiss my neck and try sticking your tongue down my throat. What if I hadn’t slapped you last night? What if I’d been compliant like last time? We would have had sex, then the next morning, you would treat me as if I’m shit on your shoe.”

  “I don’t treat you like—”

  This time, I put my hand on his chest. “Yes, you do.” I close my eyes for a moment and look back up. I expect to see defiance … anger … something. What I don’t expect to find is a man who looks lost.

  I let out a deep breath. “I’m tired, Devon. So very tired. I don’t know what to do anymore.” I look into his cool blue eyes. “This past year, I’ve done nothing but be there for you. Everything you’ve asked, I’ve done, all the while being belittled with your snide remarks. The sad thing is that I take it because ever since I was a kid, I’ve had this stupid infatuation with you.” Gazing into his eyes, I see nothing. Not even a spark to let me know how he feels. “This is useless,” I say, breaking away and shaking my head. “I’m sorry I came here. I wish I could have just thanked you for today and went on my way, but I couldn’t.”

  I hang my head and start walking to the door. I stop and turn to him. Suddenly, I’m not thinking about my dad or what the hell I’m going to do. I may have to take two jobs just to make sure the house is paid for. What I certainly can’t do is live like this any longer.

  “I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry, but when this deal is done and we get back to London, I’m handing in my notice.”

  I don’t wait for his reaction. Instead, I walk to the door and turn the knob. However, once I have it open a little, I feel a hand push it closed again.

  I look up and see Devon’s hand on the door, so I turn around. He’s staring at me, his breath ragged, his eyes showing me the first signs of kindness I have ever seen.

  “Please,” he whispers. “Don’t go.”

  I feel a tear slide down my face. “I can’t play these games with you anymore. I’m tired. I don’t want you waking up tomorrow morning and treating me like shit again.”

  “I won’t.”

  Looking up into his eyes, I try to see a hint of cruelty there, finding none. “How can you be so sure?”

  Leaning closer, I feel his warm, minty breath against my lips. For a moment, I close my eyes. “I’m tired of fighting this, Andi. Tired of fighting you.”

  I open my eyes, searching his. “I don’t understand. What is there to—”

  I have no time to say the rest because his lips lock on mine. At first, I’m stoic, but when he coaxes my mouth open on a moan, I can’t help but relent and immediately relax in his arms. Unlike the first kiss at my dad’s house, which was raw
, passionate, and needy, this one is more tender, soft, and inviting.

  Throwing my arms around his neck, I start a hurried dance with his tongue. I feel his chest heaving, hear our deep intake of breath as we carry on our sensual kiss.

  When Devon picks me up, I don’t hesitate to wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me toward the bed, laying me down gently.

  As he kisses his way down my neck, I breathlessly say, “This isn’t exactly talking through our issues, is it?”

  He pushes himself up and quickly takes my t-shirt off. “No,” he says with a smirk. “But what a way to break the ice.”

  I laugh, then he kisses around my chest before rising up again. “I’m ready,” he says, taking his boxers off. “But you have on too many clothes.”

  “Maybe you should remedy that,” I reply.

  He smirks. “You don’t need to ask me twice.”

  Unbuttoning my jeans, he pulls them down my legs before taking his sweet time caressing his way back up. I buck beneath him, seeking more of his touch, his warmth … his everything. “Devon,” I whisper, taking his face in my hands and pulling him up.

  “Please tell me you’re still taking those pills? I don’t think I can wear a condom now that I’ve felt what it’s like to take you raw.”

  I breathe heavily against his lips. “Yes, I’m still taking them. I always take them.”

  With agonising slowness, he starts taking down my knickers. “Please say I can feel you, Andi. I want to take you bare. I want to come inside you.”

  Fuck me, I feel like I’m dying. “Yes,” I whisper.

  When he takes my bra off, he stops for a moment and stares at me. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, Andi. How I’ve fucking managed to stay away from you for so long, I have no idea.”

  I can’t help the huge smile that grows on my face. I also can’t help but tease him. “I guess you’re going to have to beat yourself up since no one is supposed to touch me.”

  “No one but me,” he responds, placing his hands on my breasts, kneading them until my nipples pucker. I moan, needing more.