by Lainy Lane
She had woken up in Drake's bed once before, after she had passed out in the field from too much stress, not too long ago. The odd dreams from just prior to her waking up already seemed like a distant memory.
She lifted the neckline of her shirt to inspect the damage that must have been done to her body in the trauma of a trip to the Underworld. There were small X's stitched into her in one long line on the left side of her chest. That should leave a nice scar to tell stories about later. The sight of the stitches reminded Calandra of the last few moments of real life that she could remember when she had allowed the shadows of the tunnel to have her and had given up completely.
"How did we get back exactly?" she asked as Drake finally regained his composure and stood up.
He walked over to the door and leaned out of the frame slightly. "Tristan, make her a mixer, she's up." He pulled his body back upright and walked over to the bed. He took a seat next to Calandra and sat with his legs crossed over each other. "I brought you back like I said I would," Drake said it simply enough, but his eyes transmitted that there was more to it than the simplicity he brushed it off with.
"I ran out of time, didn't I?" Calandra replayed the last few moments over and over again in her head trying to remember more. "The shadows took me, I remember that, but nothing else."
"The shadows didn't take you anywhere, Calandra, you're here and well." He shrugged.
Tristan walked in with Calandra's drink, and she sat up and propped herself against the headboard. She took the drink from him and flashed him a weak smile.
"Tell her," Tristan looked directly at Drake as he said it and without another word he turned and walked out of the room again.
"Tell me what?" Calandra searched Drake's eyes for a hint of emotion, but he wasn't giving anything away.
"There was a slight complication in our plan." Drake sounded sad as he started in on his explanation. "It wasn't that my calculations were wrong on how much time we should have had left."
Calandra remembered the words he had spoken just before she had felt the last bit of energy drain from her and she had given into the shadows in the tunnel. Drake had been confused at her weakness and thought he had miscalculated the amount of time they would have needed to complete their task.
"What happened?" Calandra asked as the confusion threatened to overtake her still foggy head. "And where is Jarreth?" She was surprised he hadn’t been there waiting for her to wake up.
"We didn't run out of time, Ankou took it away from us because he made a little discovery after you left. As it turns out, your soul is already promised to someone else."
"Excuse me?" Calandra hadn't made any deals promising her soul to anyone other than Ankou, she was certain of that much.
"There was a side of the deal that I don't think your mother was aware of when she made it." Something about the look on Drake's face was different. He was sympathetic and caring, emotions that Drake wasn't supposed to be capable of, and this frightened Calandra more than anything else.
"What kind of side?"
"Your soul needs to be sacrificed to Akiye, Calandra, she is going to come for it." His words tumbled out in one quick breath.
"When?"
"That we don't know. But the point is that Ankou realized your soul was already promised to someone else, and in his anger, he planned on keeping your soul with him until the day came when Akiye decided to take it for herself."
"Can he do that?" Calandra wasn't sure why that was the first question that came to her, but it was.
"He's Death, Calandra, he doesn't exactly play by the rules, especially once his temper is riled." Drake offered a neutral smile.
"Get on with it, Drake!" Tristan's voice came from in the living room, and he sounded irritated.
"If you're going to eavesdrop, why don't you just come in here?" Drake rolled his eyes.
"No thanks, I don't want to be around when you tell her." Tristan chuckled.
"Tell me what?" Calandra allowed her anger to fill her voice as she spoke and immediately began her drink, assuming she would need it for what was about to be explained. Her irritation was reaching a level that she rarely allowed it to get to, but obviously, something vitally important was being kept from her.
"Well, I couldn't just leave you there," Drake said, and Calandra suddenly had an inclination of where this was going. If Ankou had decided to keep her there, he wouldn't have changed his mind unless there had been a price paid in exchange, and Calandra had a feeling it would have been a very high price.
"What did you do?" she whispered, unsure of whether she wanted to hear the answer or not, assuming it was more than likely the latter.
Drake stared at her and seemed unwilling to answer her. The sound of the front door lifting off its hinges and being thrown against the wall filled the house. Drake didn’t even flinch as if this was something he had been expecting to happen. He continued to stare at Calandra without a single blink.
"You gave her to Ankou!" Jarreth screamed as he entered the bedroom and looked as if he was going to pull Drake apart limb by limb.
"I gave myself to Ankou, we knew that was part of the deal!" Calandra jumped out of bed and sent her drink flying in the process. She stood in front of Jarreth and looked between him and Drake, as usual, she was the only person that had no clue what was being discussed, despite the discussion dealing with her.
"No Calandra, he didn't give your soul to Ankou, he gave you to Ankou." Jarreth's chest rose and fell rapidly as he steamed in his anger.
"I'm still not following what is going on exactly." Calandra looked at Drake. "Tell me what happened." She turned her attention to the door frame momentarily, “and can someone get me another drink?” she called.
"I told you I couldn't leave you there." Drake remained on his original statement.
"So how did you get me back exactly?" She pushed since he was obviously not going to offer a further explanation on his own.
"I had to make a deal on your behalf," Drake replied as Jarreth continued to give him a death glare.
"Can you do that?" She wasn’t sure whether she should be looking at Jarreth or Drake at this point. Instead, she decided to turn back to the doorframe. “Tristan? Where’s my drink?” she demanded.
"Seriously, Calandra, when you're dealing with Death there aren't many limitations. It was the only way for him to get what he wanted, so of course, he allowed it."
"What. Did. You. Promise?" Calandra separated each word from the next.
"I gave you to him, not your soul, but you as a human." Drake somewhat answered her question.
"Gave me to him for what?" Calandra was beyond sick of people making decisions that involved her life and destiny without her consent.
"For exactly what you think, Calandra," Jarreth broke in. "You are now Ankou's slave for him to do what he pleases with."
Oh.
"Don't look at me like that!" Drake said, he sounded offended. How did he have the right to get offended right now? "I made my own sacrifice as well to protect you. I was afraid we might run into some issues and Ankou would pull something unexpected. So, before we went, I made a deal of my own."
"You what!" Jarreth practically screamed.
"I took precautions." Drake stared at Jarreth without a single emotion. "I was prepared for the worst, and it's a good thing I was since that is exactly what we encountered."
"You knew exactly what would happen when you suggested this idea didn't you?" Now Jarreth looked offended.
"Wait," Calandra broke in, "when he suggested the idea? I thought you came up with this, Jarreth? A way to right your wrongs, makeup for the past...all that crap you said was a lie?"
"Shouldn't you be mad at him, Calandra? He just gave you away completely...to Ankou no less," Jarreth replied immediately. Had he already rehearsed this encounter?
"Don't change the subject!" Calandra stomped her foot in frustration. "You lied to me…again!"
"Pretty sure he did too, and you're going to really
pay the price thanks to his lie." Jarreth was searching for anyway to turn the heat back on Drake.
"I fixed it," Drake exclaimed. "I found a way around what I had to promise to Ankou. If you two would like to quit with your lovers spat maybe I could explain?"
Calandra sighed and sat on the bed in front of Drake. "Let's hear it."
Tristan finally came in with her new drink, Calandra attempted to convey her best thank you with her eyes as she took it and began to sip on it.
"The joys of Faerie deals, Calandra, is to pay close attention to the way you word it." Drake’s smile was just on the edge of wicked and evil. "We're tricky creatures and do not take our deal making lightly. We pride ourselves on using our words to deceive the person we are dealing with. We may promise one thing, but thanks to the use of one simple word, be able to do something else entirely without breaking any rules."
"Human," Jarreth whispered the word.
"Exactly," Drake agreed with Jarreth, for once. "I promised you to him as a human."
"And I'm only part human?" Calandra still wasn't sure she had found the way around this situation yet. It sounded good, but something told her she didn’t have her finger fully on it just yet.
"That's still human enough," Jarreth confirmed Calandra's thoughts, as usual.
"It is," Drake replied directly. "So now we must find a way around that. I put the clause into the deal, now we have to find our window of opportunity to get around it."
"So what? Until then Ankou just does with her as he pleases?" Jarreth challenged.
"Not exactly. Until we find a more permanent solution, I've bonded our souls." Drake smirked.
That kind of explained a lot, or at least Calandra was pretty sure it would if she knew exactly what bonded souls entailed.
"You didn't." Jarreth didn’t sound at all shocked by the revelation, but he did look sad and defensive.
"I figured it would come in handy, so along with her anesthesia, I included the makings to bond us." Drake shrugged.
"Anyone want to explain the details of this to me. It would be nice seeing as my soul was bonded without consent." There should be some sort of law against that, not that Faerie actually had any laws other than no humans being allowed in. She gulped down several more drinks of her mixer as she looked around and realized that Tristan had snuck back into the living room. He evidently had been filled in on all of this while Calandra was still sleeping.
"It means you'll want him." Jarreth's voice was hopeless as he left the room.
Ok, that much she had already put together, given the experience earlier after she woke up. At least now she knew there was a reason behind her behavior. Unfortunately it also meant the desire wouldn’t be going away anytime soon.
"Anything else I should be aware of regarding this bond you've forced on me?" Calandra searched Drake for any sign of remorse, there were none.
She wanted to feel hurt. She wanted to feel offended. She wanted to be mad at him. But she couldn’t. She felt nothing but the need to touch him. The ache to feel him on her again began to fill her, and she had to fight the urge to walk over to him. She refused to give into the temptation. She took another several gulps of her drink and stared down at the mess from the first drink that had ended up on the floor, thanks to Jarreth’s intrusion.
"I'm sorry, but I’m not, Calandra, I did what I felt I had to in order to keep you safe. Luckily for me, you can't hate me anymore. Go on and try to be mad at me." Drake smiled.
She didn't have to try. She knew he was right, she could feel him inside of her, which was an odd sensation. A temptation rushed through her, and she refused to admit, even to herself, what she was tempted to do.
Calandra sighed. "We have a meeting to get to. Take me to my mother."
Drake stood to the side of the doorframe and motioned for her to follow him.
Her nerves spiked as she pondered over what might be ahead on their journey. A meeting with her mother, something she had always dreamed of, yet now that it had arrived, she was unsure of what to think or expect from it.
“Want me to come with you?” Tristan asked, his eyes pleading for her to agree.
Calandra knew she should. With as many times as he had heard her complain about having never had an opportunity to meet her mother, Tristan was as curious as she was about what finally meeting Hollyn would be like. He deserved as much as to see Calandra meet her. Yet, something about it all seemed to intimate to allow, even Tristan to come. To be fair, Drake was only being allowed to join her because there would be no meeting at all without him. She had been instructed by Ankou that Drake was to be the one to escort her to this meeting, she didn’t see any possible way around it.
“I’m sorry, Tristan,” she shrugged. “I think I need to do this alone.”
“But you’re not alone, are you?” he rebuked.
“I don’t exactly have a choice about that.” She turned to Drake, unwilling to harshen the blow of her statement, even after seeing his eyes flashed sapphire.
“And on that note.” Drake opened the front door and motioned for Calandra to walk through. He smiled, snidely, to Tristan.
Tristan walked over to Calandra in two quick strides. He placed a hand on her cheek and tried to stare deeply into her eyes, Calandra quickly averted her gaze from him. He pulled her face toward his, forcing her to look at him, as Drake let out a long, hard sigh.
“You don’t have to do this,” he persuaded her.
“I do,” she responded, knowing she truly had no choice. She was unsure of whether or not she wanted another option.
“You don’t,” he reiterated again. “You always want to think you have to take the long road, the hard road. Have you ever wondered if you make that choice just to torture yourself?”
She nodded. No, she hadn’t thought of that, and she didn’t have time to think about it now. Why did Tristan always choose the worst times possible to come up with things like this? Why did he always have to try and make her think more of herself than she did? Why did he always have to make her feel something? Especially when nothing was the only thing she wanted to feel.
After inhaling a long, reassuring breath, she responded. “I do,” she responded once more. Her heart wanted to say something else, but she wouldn’t allow her mouth to follow suit.
His eyes told her everything she wanted to ask in the aftermath of denying him. He was hurt, angry, sick of her always pushing him aside. She knew all of this already, he didn’t know exactly how much it hurt her to continue putting him through it, but she didn’t think she had any other choice at this point. Especially now that her soul was bound to another Faerie, a dark one at that.
“Tell me something, Calandra,” Tristan looked her dead in the eye, face set into a serious tone.
She knew she wasn’t prepared for whatever he was about to ask her. She was going to have to break him again since it was apparently impossible for her to let him down easily.
“What?” She sighed, coming to the conclusion that she had no option other than to answer the question.
“Tell me how you expect me to feel about you now?”
She stared at him, dumbfounded. She had driven him to a muse for healing after she had shattered his heart. The last thing she had expected for him to ask was whether or not he should still have feelings for her. She would’ve assumed that tearing his heart out, stomping all over it, putting it back in, just to begin the process over again multiple times would have made it so that he would never have romantic feelings toward her again.
“I—” she tried to start on an answer, but she couldn’t seem to manage to put any words together to do so.
“Alright, then I need you to do something else,” Tristan pushed despite her inability to answer his first question.
She had a feeling the next statement would be worse than the first question had been. Something in his eyes assured her that her feeling was spot on. She took a deep breath and made a weak attempt at preparing herself with what he might say.
>
“Give me permission to let you go.” The corner of one side of his mouth turned up slightly to try and soften the blow. “I want to hate you, but I can’t.”
Calandra felt her heart stop and had to wonder if she was about to meet Ankou again and begin her eternal servitude much sooner than she had initially expected.
Drake began to drum his fingers on the doorframe to ensure they both knew how over their conversation he already was. He didn’t have to do anything to let Calandra know, she could now feel his frustration and was working hard to prevent it from becoming her own.
“I’m afraid,” Tristan sighed and began fidgeting with his pants pockets.
Calandra took a few steps forward and stopped herself. She could feel the heat in her rising as she felt Drake’s response to her reaction to Tristan. He wasn’t sure what she was about to do, and she could feel his anxiety and jealousy radiating through her. She made a mental note to figure out how to separate his emotions from her own before she got into big trouble. She searched Tristan’s eyes for a sign of what he might be thinking she was about to do, she came up with nothing. His baby blue eyes were emptier than she had ever seen. She couldn’t decide on how to respond without further damaging him, and she felt she had done plenty of that already.
“You know, Cal,” Tristan used the nickname he hadn’t called her in quite some time, “of all the stones you’ve thrown at me over the last several months, the silence is the most damaging one. Yet I’m still coming to your defense, and I can’t figure out why.”
Something screamed at Calandra from inside. She assumed, at first, it was Drake’s emotions coursing through her. It wasn’t. It was her own conscience for once, telling her she’d allowed Tristan, and injuring him, to become a sort of sick addiction for her. She had offered him new beginnings just to take the rug out from underneath him. He knew that, and he needed to get it off of his chest now. Calandra was surprised it had taken him this long to do so. Maybe being attached to a muse had done him some good in getting closure and truly moving past her after all. That stung more than she wanted to admit.
“The problem is,” Tristan began again, “If you don’t give me permission to let go, I think I might suffocate.”