by Alexis Angel
As he says the words it starts to dawn on me that Zeva could've taken one of my many assorted bikes in the garage because I usually keep the keys in them.
Fuck me.
"Jason! I think she left man,” I declare. “Follow me."
We run down the stairs and through the house to the back garage. I scan the room and see one bike missing. Dammit.
"She left. Jason,” I realize out loud. “She took a bike and left. How could you have let this happen? This is your fault."
"Shit. Where do you think she went?" Jason asks, reality dawning on him.
"Probably she found out about Tammi and went to see her. Where else would she be?"
"Maybe we can catch up to her?” he asks.
For the first time, I’m agreeing with him – my worry cooling and my exasperation starting to ebb away. We know what we need to do.
"Yeah, let's go," I say.
We hop on our bikes and speed away from the compound. At this point, I don't care who's watching or scoping us out. I just have to find Zeva before they do. Doesn't she know that they're watching her every move? How could she have done something so reckless? I'd want to spank her bare ass as punishment if I wasn't so goddamn worried.
I’m fucking terrified of what might happen and I have a sinking feeling in my stomach like something bad is about to happen or that it already has.
We ride as fast as we can to town. It's a long way there and the minutes feel like small eternities within each other as my heart is racing and my palms are sweating out of fear. I never feel fear usually because I am out for myself and I don't give a fuck if I get hurt or even if I die. But with Zeva in my life now I suddenly care a little too much about her safety and my own. I know if I died she would be devastated. And I am devastated at the thought of something happening to her. This is love I guess. It's unfamiliar and my emotions are running wild.
Zeva
At last, I arrive at the hospital. I pull up right on the sidewalk near the entrance. I rush inside and demand to see Tammi. Once they show me to her room one look from her smiling face lets me know that she's okay. At least she appears okay.
"Are you alright? Tammi, I was so worried," I say with downcast eyes. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. What would I’ve done if I lost you?"
I'm crying soft tears and bend and bury my head in her lap when she speaks up. "It's okay darlin'. I'm fine really. Don't you worry."
"You're like a mother to me," I say quietly. "The only mother I have. Without you, I'm an orphan."
"I'm going to be released tomorrow, that means it wasn't so bad,” she replies gruffly.
I look up at her through tear-stained eyes, "You are?"
"Yes,” she says nodding. “Doc said my wounds weren't that deep apparently. All this fuss over nothing."
I breathe out a sigh of relief, "Thank God."
"See, it's okay like I said,” she reassures me.
"Well, what can I do?” I ask. “Do you want me to take you home?"
"No hon. I've decided to leave town for a while. Things are getting too crazy around here and I'm not prepared to go through another war. My sister's coming to pick me up. I'm gonna stay with her in NYC until this whole thing blows over."
"You're leaving?" I ask, my eyes going wide. I'm sad at the prospect of not having her to confide in but I'm happy that she'll be safe. Hell, if I didn't have the men I'd probably be packing my suitcase myself.
"Zeva, I want you to come with me,” she says. When I don’t answer she continues. “Wouldn't it be fun to stay in the city for a while? We could go together. Please Zeva, I need you to be safe also."
The idea is appealing, but I know in my heart I can't leave here. I need to stay and make sure everything’s alright.
"Oh Tammi, I want to go with you,” I say and her eyes light up. “I really do. But...I can't leave. I'm in too deep now. Please understand."
She sighs a breath of knowing like she saw this coming. "I figured you'd say that but I had to ask. I hope these guys appreciate you after all.”
"Thank you, Tammi, thank you for your offer. And I promise that they do care for me."
"Okay then. I'll be in touch. I will call you with my sister's phone number."
"I will," I promise. I leave the hospital grateful in my heart that she's okay. I was imagining the worst and I thank God that she made it through seemingly untouched. Her wounds were not as bad as they could have been for sure, just surface stuff from the look of it.
"Thanks, Tammi," I feel bad not accepting her offer but I have to. "But I can't leave. I just can't leave."
"Hmm, so things are turning out to be different with them,” Tammi says with a twinkle in her eye. “Zeva, is it sounding like you might be their old lady."
"Well, we did talk about love,” I admit.
"Sounds pretty real,” she says wryly.
"Yes!” I declare. “I love them, each of them...so much."
"That’s good honey, but you have to be careful. Try to guard your heart a little. You realize that as long as they stay the biker route they’re all gonna die young. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it's just the truth."
I shake my head. I’ve known this for a while.
"I know," I say sadly. "And Tammi I know that you feel the pain from losing your man. I've talked to them about leaving or becoming legitimate but they consider the whole thing a family legacy. I don't know what to do to change their minds."
"Yeah well, you can't change a man I guess,” she says with a sigh. “They have to learn it on their own."
"I wish I could change them, Tammi, just on this one thing."
Tammi looks at me as I say those words and nods.
"Trust me, so do I,” she says quietly. “I tried to have the same discussion with my man and he saw it like that too, through the lens of family. And he was stubborn as all hell and guess what? I had to watch him die in my arms. For what? An ill-conceived notion about loyalty? I wish he had been as loyal to me as he was to that damn club."
"I know Tammi, I'm so worried. I thought about how I might as well die if something happened to any of them. That's not healthy. And then I think about you and how you've endured. You've really been strong Tammi and I don't want to have to be that way. I don't want to have to be strong. I want to come to it a different way."
"I know babe. I know. That's why my greatest advice is that you come with me. Let this thing blow over and then see about men."
I would be lying if I said that I didn’t even consider what she was saying.
Just leave it all. Get away from all of this madness?
"Well, Tammi,” I sigh again. “I can’t.”
"Alright, well you know where to find me. I hope you're right and that things turn out fine."
"Okay Tammi, thanks,” I say, a tear rolling down my eye. “I'll be in touch."
She looks at me one last time – as if her look will convince me.
"I'll miss you Tammi," I say as I kiss her on her forehead and get up to leave. I better head back to Wade's soon now that I know Tammi's okay.
"Goodbye sweetheart, take care of yourself," she says as she sees me get up.
I leave and take a minute to just consider what she's said. She is alone now because of the exact mess I'm in. Am I willing to go through more grief in exchange for love? I decide I better get back before anyone notices I'm gone.
I’m going to begin my journey back to Wade's place. I wonder if Jason will have noticed that I left. I hope not because I don't want to endure his wrath. But, he would have to understand that I needed to check on Tammi. It's such a good thing she's leaving and I'm sure they will be happy to hear it too.
I feel that familiar rush of emotion at the thought of seeing Jason. I haven't even had a chance to reflect on the fact that he changed my life last night. It was so worth being with him. He was amazing and I will never forget the way he handled me with such furious passion and yet tender care too. My heart flutters at the thought of it happening ag
ain. I know that I should probably be leaving town like most people are likely doing, but the thought of leaving these guys to possibly die here is too great a burden. I need them and that need is what makes me stay.
I head outside. Before I get two feet past the door though a hand is over my mouth and someone has my legs.
Fuck. I know it's them. I don't even have to look.
It's The Iron Legion and they’ve found me.
Jason
Jason and I get to the hospital and Alex arrives at the same time.
We're all here to check on Zeva. My only solace in this moment is knowing that she's okay. I'm relieved she wasn't a part of last night's shooting, beyond relieved, but I can't help but worry about the future. How can I protect her throughout this ordeal without keeping her on lockdown?
I feel terrible that she escaped on my watch. I know Wade and Alex are fuming at me for letting her out of my sight for even a second.
To my chagrin who's waiting right there in the distance? I could spot his smug face a mile awhile. Wade and I drive our bikes up to Cole.
"What are you doing here?" Wade asks him pointedly.
"I'm here to talk you obviously," he says.
"Shouldn't you be arresting The Iron Legion by now? Seems like you'd have your hands full."
"They are on my radar, trust me. But I'm here to tell you that you and your band need to get out of town and let these guys win."
"Is that so?" Wade says. He’s fuming I can tell. "Is that what our father taught us to do? To run away at the first sign of trouble? I don't think so.”
"He also got fucking killed for it Wade, remember?"
"How could I forget?" Wade hisses into his face. "I'm the one holding up his legacy now. He would despise you if he saw how you turned on his family."
I'm not shocked by his cowardice. Cole has betrayed us by switching sides.
Here he is standing at the door of the hospital where so many people are injured and he’s telling us to run.
What a fucking joke.
"If you and your cop friends are so afraid why don't you be the ones to leave?” I question him. “Because our gang isn’t going anywhere. We don't run Cole. Running is the coward's way out, but don't worry I didn't expect more than that from you."
He makes me sick the way he lets his fear control him.
"You know you're nothing but a criminal. That's all you are and that's what our dad was too. You guys are on the wrong side of things and getting people killed because of it. You're no heroes."
"What the fuck did you just say about dad?" Wade yells and before I know it he punches him in the face and Cole flies backward. "Don't your ever fucking insult the memory of our father."
The anger and frustration pours out and I help by kicking him into the dirt but let him finally get up. "What you gonna do, huh?” he asks. “Fucking arrest us? You probably would...arrest your own brother. Come on, do it! You know you want to."
"No Wade, you've got it all wrong." He heads back to his sheriff's vehicle all covered in dirt. "You're not worth the time it would take to bring you in. You're not worth anything."
I can tell his words sting Wade.
But Wade hides it.
"Fuck off Cole! Get the fuck out of my sight you gutless, spineless joke of a man. I can't believe you're my brother. How do you possibly have our father's blood running through you?"
I kick up dirt at his car as he drives off. I'm pissed and Wade’s wounded. Losing your brother is a unique kind of pain. It's nothing their father would be proud of. Cole broke up his family by switching sides. Now he feels righteous enough to come over here and think he can tell us what to do. This is our war. We will win it the same way we always do...with guns a blazing.
I'm not afraid of dying. We know how to fight.
The adrenaline is pumping through my system so fast now, but heart sinks as I remember there is actually one thing I am afraid of...that is losing Zeva. My love for her has made me vulnerable. It's what I always feared would happen if I let myself get close to her. I've been afraid of this moment for a while...if Zeva was mine and we entered a war and they somehow knew my weakness for her.
My weakness is my enemy's greatest strength and I have to keep this thing with her under wraps.
Alex comes up to meet us. “You showed him. Cole was practically running away.”
“Yeah,” Wade says. “He wants us to run and let him handle it.”
Alex scoffs, “That’s funny, man. Like we’d ever turn from this battle.”
“It’s definitely a battle now,” I say. I’m sad to admit it but the lines have been drawn. This is an all-out fucking war. As soon as we get Zeva we are going to fucking kill those bastard rivals.
“Let’s find her, you guys,” I say.
“Yeah,” Alex leads the way into the hospital. “She’s gonna be with Tammi. We should have known she’d find out what happened and that she would come here.”
“It’s my fault,” I say as we head in. “I tried to hide the news from her and to distract her but Zeva’s smart and determined. She found a way around me.”
We take the elevator up. Everyone stares at us as we find her room. We must make quite a sight in the hospital, three strong bikers dressed all in black.
We find Tammi room expecting to see Zeva but she’s not there.
“Tammi, how are you?” I ask, walking in.
Tammi sees the look in our eyes and know what we’re here for.
“Oh you guys just missed her,” Tammi says by way of greeting “I’m fine but Zeva’s not. She’s worried about you guys. She must be back to your place by now Wade. She left a while ago.”
Wade is frantic and so am I. “No Tammi she wasn’t there. You’re saying she’s gone?”
Fuck.
This just took a turn to shit.
We make our excuses to Tammi and then back the fuck out of that hospital. All of us are going crazy now that we realize Zeva is missing. She wasn’t home, she wasn’t on the highway, and she’s not here.
This is an emergency.
“Shit,” Wade says once we’re back outside. “Just stay calm. But let’s all split up and look for her.”
Alex and I are already running for our bikes. I'll sift every street and building until I find Zeva. I feel responsible for her disappearance and none of this is okay. I have to go find her.
Zeva
Fuck, these ropes are tight, I think to myself. Being tied up is one thing, but these guys are assholes. I hear two sets of feet shuffle around, but the bandanna over my eyes has me wondering their exact position. I hear a lot of echo around me, so I can assume some sort of storage building, which puts us on the outskirts of the town…
“She’s one of the head guys’ bitch, I know that at least,” a female voice says.
“So she’s value, no shit. Doesn’t mean she needs to stay conscious. Makes her harder to carry,” I hear a male voice complain.
“Damaged goods are damaged goods. Boss wants bargaining chips, and she’s a full set,” the female explains.
“You guys don’t really play cards do you?” I say, laughing a little. “You have no clue what the fuck you’re even talking about.”
“Shut your whore mouth!” the male says. “We should just leave her bleeding. That’s plenty of a message. Bloody or dead they’ll know what’s coming.”
“It’s not about a message you dumb fuck,” the woman says, getting angry. “We have leverage with her. We can put them into a bad position and-“
“Looks like you’re already in a bad position with dumb fuck over here,” I say, smirking. I should be scared shitless, but I’m not. Somehow, The Order’s attitude has rubbed off on me.
The guy stomps over and slaps me across the face. “Don’t you know when to shut your mouth?”
My cheek burns but I know I need to keep stalling these two out. “Probably not, but I know I’m not taking any lessons from you!”
I hear the fabric on his clothes shuffle and I brace
for another hit, but the girl sounds closer now. She must have stopped him.
“Leave her in one piece for fuck’s sake,” she says, growing increasingly annoyed with him, rather than me.
I hear him yank his arm out of her hand and shove her back. He drops into a chair and sighs, incredibly annoyed and angry.
“Stay still for once in your life. I’m getting the boss. Don’t do anything stupid,” the woman says. A moment later I hear a distant door click shut.
“Dunno who that cunt thinks she is,” the guy mutters to himself.
I’m less than happy to be confined in a room with just him. His grating, angered breathing has me incredibly unsettled. Every minute that passes feels like an hour as I hear him grunt and shuffle. Every time he makes a new noise it comes off as increasingly disgruntled, and I start to grow more nervous. Then he stands up.
“I don’t give a fuck what that bitch has to say. I’m gonna have my fun and they can pick up the pieces later,” he says as he shuffles toward me.
“The fuck do you mean you sick shit?” I say, holding back my stammering.
“You’re a biker whore. You put it together,” he says. I hear his belt clink and the leather slide.
“D-don’t you ev-“ I start, but his fist slams into my cheek and I fall over, and the chair comes with me.
I hear a knife click and feel him slice at the ropes binding me to the chair, but he leaves the ones holding my wrists together. He kicks the chair away and laughs. I feel a boot connect sharply with my ribcage and let out a scream. This fucker…
He presses the flat metal of his knife to my arm. The metal is cold against me. A shiver runs across my body, and its fear, not the blade, that caused it. He stands up and rolls me onto my back and presses his boot into my stomach. I struggle for breath as he steps his full weight into me. Stars fly across my vision as he laughs, finally letting his foot off me after what feels like an eternity.
Not satisfied, he leans over and slashes the fabric of my shirt upward in random cuts leaving it in tatters. A few slices nick my skin and I yelp out, just furthering his laughter. Then he yanks down my jeans and my stomach drops. He takes a moment to admire his sadistic work and then kneels down.