“Good, God! That woman is nuts.”
“That’s exactly what she’s afraid of, Blake. She’s afraid she’s crazy, just like her parents. She isn’t of course, but she fears she has no chance of living a normal life. A life you are entitled to, according to her.” He makes a long pause then he says, “She talks about you a lot. She’s very much in love with you.”
I sigh. “You aren’t helping me, Max.”
“Sorry. Guess I thought you might still care for her. I suppose she did burn her bridge with you, just as she was afraid she did. I understand. I really do. Most people wouldn’t want to deal with the things that come along with loving a person with abandonment issues.” He clears his throat. “The pulling with one hand and pushing with the other. I get it, it’s enough to make a man crazy.”
“It is! It really is!” I start to pace for some damn reason. “I mean I have no idea of what to expect. One minute it’s ‘I love you, Blake,’ the next I’m looking around for where the little lunatic has run off too. It’s just too much, Max. I’m sorry, I can’t do it. I’ll go crazy myself.”
“I get it, Blake. You don’t have to explain things to me. The things Lexi and I put each other through were awful. I wouldn’t wish them on anyone. Stay where you are, stay away from the girl, she’s bad news wrapped in a pretty package.” He draws in a deep breath. “Leave her to her own kind. People with these issues tend to come together. Let someone just like her deal with her lunacy.”
His words sting and make me feel selfish. “I’m glad you understand. Let me know if she needs anything. I mean anything. I do care for her. Fuck! I love her. Anyway, let me know if she needs anything at all, Max.”
“I will. Talk to you later, bye.” He ends the call and I gulp down the beer I had.
I wonder if she could ever trust me. I wonder if she knows I’d stand by her no matter what. I wonder if she’ll ever give me the chance to prove that to her.
The last box of my parents’ things I carry out to my truck and get in to haul them all to the charity store. Now that I have all of their things out, it’s time to start the remodel. I want this little house to look great with all the newest bells and whistles before I find a nice family who really needs it to give it to.
Rachelle
I’ve been with Max and Lexi for three days now and they’ve said some really powerful things to me. The way I’ve lived my life doesn’t have to be the way I continue to live it.
Being alone has always been more comfortable to me than being with someone. Now I see why. I learned how to self sooth, and not in a good way.
When people wanted to be in my life or help me, I pushed them away. I always thought that I could do it all on my own. I had managed to survive my mother and then I lived after she left me with a group of strangers.
I always looked at myself as a tough, little chick who could handle anything that was thrown at her. And I could do it completely on my own.
Kip and Peyton have begged me to come and be their personal chef and I refuse to do it. Merely on the principal of them paying me more than I am worth.
Max and Lexi have made me realize it’s not me who decides what I’m worth. It’s the people who care for me that do that. If Kip and Peyton feel I’m worth all they want to give me in order for me to work for them then I should take it, if it’s something I want to do.
I really want my own restaurant. And I really want to make enough money to get that. I also really want Blake in my life. But I messed that up and I have to accept that.
Burning bridges seems to be a thing people with my issues do. I should really learn to stop doing that, but I don’t know if it’s even possible. Seems neither one of my parents learned how, so what are my chances?
A knock comes to my bedroom door and a little boy’s voice calls out, “Chellie, wanna pway wif me?”
I hop off the bed and go open the door to find little Zane with a tiny fistful of wildflowers. He holds them up and I pick him up in my arms and take them.
“How sweet, Zane. Of course I’d love to play with you. What are we going to play?” I carry him down the stairs and find his sister waiting for us with a net in her hand.
“We’re gonna catch some fireflies and put ‘em in a jar. Wanna help?” Zoey asks.
“I sure do,” I say as I get to the bottom step and put Zane down. One grabs one hand and one takes the other and they lead me out into the darkening night to catch some fireflies.
Lexi and Max are sitting on the patio as Zakk plays in the sandbox near them. After I run around with the twins, grabbing up the little bugs, we place them in the jar and go sit down with their parents.
Max gets up and takes me by the hand and pulls me inside with him.
“I want to talk to you.”
I follow along and he sits me down in the kitchen and pours me a glass of milk and places two cookies in front of me. “You sick of me?” I ask with a laugh, sure he’s about to tell me it’s time for me to go home.
“Never,” he says as he tweaks my nose. “I want to talk to you about Blake. I called him today.”
I look down and frown. “Max, I know you mean well, but you shouldn’t have done that. He needs to get on without me.”
“No, he does not.” He sits down on the bar stool next to me. “You and he have something, Shelly. It doesn’t come along every day and I’d be no kind of a big brother if I let you blow it all off.”
“Max, I…”
His finger touches my lips, stopping me. “Rachelle Stone, you are a viable woman who is worthy of love. If you don’t pursue this thing you have with Blake, you will end up with the wrong man after the wrong man. Much the same as your mother did when she turned away from your father, destroying them both. I can’t sit idly by and watch you do that to yourself. I mean what kind of a big brother would I be if I did?”
“I guess a crappy one,” I say with a frown. “But, Max, Blake has to hate me.”
“He doesn’t. Sure he’s hurt, but do you know how many times Lexi and I hurt each other before we came to our senses?” He nudges my shoulder with his.
“Yeah, I do as a matter of fact. Lexi told me. By the way, I’d love to meet some of the people she told me about. The little French girl who you call your angel and that man she married, the model guy from those steamy book covers with Lexi.” I pause and look at him. “How did you handle your true love all up under those gorgeous men like that?”
“It wasn’t easy, believe me.” He gets up and gets himself a beer from the fridge. “Now, don’t be pissed at me but I did something behind your back.”
My eyebrows go up to the top of my head and I say, “Well, before you tell me, hand me one of those beers so I can chill and not tear your head off when you tell me something I can tell is going to make me mad.”
“You’re right,” he says as he grabs me a beer. “Here, take a long drink then I’ll fill you in.”
I do as he says then he takes my chin in his hand and looks at me with those deep green eyes of his. I remember them from when I was three. “Do you remember me telling you that you had pretty eyes when I was little?” I ask.
“I do.” He lets my chin go and runs his hand through my hair. “Remember me telling you that you did too?”
I smile as he does remember. “So weird how you remembered me after all these years. I was only there for a few weeks before my grandparents found me, after all.”
Slow strokes he makes through my hair as he gazes into my eyes. “You were so little and helpless. I took it as my responsibility to keep you safe and help you not be so sad. Your eyes held such sadness back then. You were utterly confused by being left there.”
“I am starting to recall those memories.” I laugh a little. “A complete stranger on the airplane I rode into Austin on told me I needed to deal with my memories instead of trying to hide from them. I thought he was an ass for talking to me that way.”
“People don’t always mind their own business. I think it’s something they’re
supposed to do, to be honest. I was just like you and when people talked like they knew anything about me or what I had gone through, well, I thought they were idiots.” Max leans back against the bar and smiles at me. “We’re probably more like brother and sister than most real siblings. We’ve been through much the same things.”
“Okay, so what did you do that’s going to have me mad, bro?” I ask with a chuckle.
“I sent your grandfather’s truck back to him. I had one of Hilda’s cousins drive it. I want you to use one of our cars and I want you to go to Lubbock and surprise Blake.” He looks at me for my reaction.
I blink several times and look down. “Why?”
“Because your classes are starting again soon and you need to see him before you go back to L.A. Just so you know, I’m not taking no or I’ll think about it as an answer.” He touches my cheek, making me look at him. “Wanna know why?”
I nod and whisper, “Why?”
“Because I love you. I can’t stand to see you cheating yourself out of a love that can bring you so much peace and happiness. You asked about my angel and she was the one who made me stop being stubborn and push past my insecurities and seek Lexi out. So I’m going to be your angel, because frankly, you need one.”
I laugh and give him a tiny smile. “Since you’re not taking no for an answer what choice do I have, Max. But don’t be surprised when Blake tells me to get lost. I don’t even know what his address is, anyway.”
“He lives next door to Lexi’s brother, if you will recall. So I can put the address into the GPS of whichever car you want to take and boom, you’ll be there in no time.”
“Boom! Just like that, huh?” I ask as I shake my head. “You really are going to make me put myself out there, aren’t you?”
He nods. “I am, tomorrow morning as a matter of fact.”
“What can I do to get out of it?” I ask as he pulls me off the bar stool and back out to Lexi and their kids.
“Not a damn thing. It’s time to face your fears and deal with the damage you’ve done. If nothing comes of it, but the fact you pulled up your big girl panties and faced the things you’ve done and find you can live through that, then so be it.”
Lexi smiles at me as we get to the table. “Did he get his way?” she asks.
“Doesn’t he always?” I ask with a laugh. “Seems that I must face the music with Blake. Hope he wants to dance to it and not sit this one out.”
Blake
The remodel team took only a couple of days to demo out the master bathroom and put in a new jet bathtub and a beautiful, tiled separate shower, big enough for two people. It all looks gorgeous and I only wish Mom and Dad could’ve enjoyed using it.
I moved out of my childhood bedroom and have the remodeling crew working on it today. With the master bedroom all redone and now the attached bath finished, I’ve moved into it, a new large, four post bed and everything.
A huge flat screen hangs on the wall. I plan on leaving every stick of furniture and all the things I’ve bought new for this house when I give it away. I’ll be taking my clothes and that’s it.
I have a box full of my memories of Mom and Dad that I’ll take too. Everything else is going to stay to welcome some unfortunate family get back on their feet. I do think it’s what my parents would’ve wanted me to do with the place.
In the back yard I sit, sipping on a frosty, cold beer and relaxing in front of the little swimming pool I had put in the small backyard. There’s a nice, relaxing waterfall that I hope some lucky kids find fun jumping off of.
The back door opens as the last little bit of sunlight leaves the sky. “Hey, boss, we’re heading out,” the foreman of the remodeling crew tells me.
“Thanks, man. See you guys tomorrow,” I say and give him a wave.
He leaves and I turn back and click the remote to turn the lights on in the swimming pool. I imagine a little family cooking in the outdoor kitchen I had put in as they have fun with a little family time out by the pool.
The doorbell rings inside and I sigh as I get up to go see who is interrupting my dreamtime. “Who is it?” I holler as I walk through the kitchen and into the living room.
“Me,” the light lilt of a feminine voice calls out from behind the closed door.
The sound of her voice stops me.
Why is she here?
I’ve been fine without her and now she’s here to rope me back in. I don’t think I should open the door. My feet move forward anyway. My hand touches the doorknob and I pull it back.
“Blake?” she asks on the other side of the door.
It’s all that separates us and I need the thick wood to keep her from me. I look at the lock and see it’s not latched and I need it to be latched so damn bad. I turn back and try to walk away. I try to open my mouth to tell her to leave me alone.
“Blake, I’m not here to beg you to give me another chance, if that’s what has you leaving me out here like this. I only wish to see you and tell you I’m sorry, in person. I don’t expect you to even accept my apology, but I want to face you as I should’ve done a long time ago.”
Is she being sincere? Can she even be sincere?
I open the door and look down to find her wearing a little, white T-shirt and some old blue jeans and flip flops. Her hair is in a ponytail. She’s not even trying to look all evil seductress like I thought she would.
Instead she looks tiny and sweet like she always does. “Hi,” I manage to get out of my dryer than hell mouth.
“Hi, Blake.” She looks up at me and her eyes shine like a beacon in the night. So blue and gorgeous. “I just wanted to tell you, face to face, I’m sorry for being a coward.”
I swallow hard and say, “You aren’t a coward, Rachelle.”
She nods her little head. “I am, and you deserve better than what I’ve given you. You deserve an explanation for how I’ve treated you. For how I’ve left you. I’d like to offer you that, if you’d let me.”
Though I should close this door. I take a step back and gesture for her to come inside. She comes in and the smell of her lavender scented shampoo fills my senses. I gulp and try hard to maintain my composure.
“Please have a seat. I’ll be right back,” I say then go into the kitchen.
I take three beers out. I chug one then throw the empty bottle in the trash. I take the other two with me. Handing her one then I take the chair across from her. I eye her warily as I take a sip of the beer I just opened.
She takes a drink then sets it on the table next to her. “I don’t need the liquid courage. I don’t really deserve to have any. I’ve done terrible things to you and all because I don’t value myself. I just want you to know none of it was you. You’re a wonderful person and it was my pleasure to know you. Especially how we knew each other.”
“The sex?” I ask as I take another drink to cool my burning insides.
“The way you made love to me, yes. I was lucky to get to ever feel you like that,” she says then leans forward. “Those are memories I’ll always cherish and never will I forget how you treated me so respectfully and with the utmost kindness at all times. Thank you for that, Blake.”
“So is that all you wanted to tell me, Rachelle?” I ask as I place my beer on the table and stand up.
Her eyes go wide and they follow me as I stand. She nods and moves to stand up herself. I take her small shoulders in my hands and press her back down, then sit next to her.
“I’d like to say some things to you, Rachelle. Some things I’ve ached to tell you when you left me like that.”
She bites her bottom lip and looks at me as her eyes glisten. “Okay, give it to me. I deserve it.”
“You do,” I say then trail my fingers along her delicate jawline then over her collarbone. “You deserve to know I think you’re brave and courageous. To come here and face me is not a thing I thought you could ever do.”
Her throat swells a little as she gulps and her body shakes a bit. “Really?”
I no
d and lean into her, inhaling her scent. “You deserve to hear I’ve never stopped loving you. You deserve to hear I forgive you. And you deserve to hear that I accept you for who you are, which is a magnificent woman.” My lips are close to hers and I look into her eyes. “Can I kiss you?”
The slightest of nods she gives me and I take her lips. The sweet heat fills me with our touch. Softly she pants and wraps her arms around my neck. I’ve missed her too much to waste time.
I pick her up and kiss her all the way down the hall to my new bedroom. I lie on the bed, laying her out next to me, our lips never parting. Her fingers fumble with the button on my jeans and she seems to want me as bad as I want her.
Leaving her lips only long enough to undress her then myself. We exchange long looks at the other’s body. Her lips curl into a smile. “You’ve been working out like a manic, haven’t you?”
I run my hand down my tight abs. “You noticed, how sweet.”
She wiggles her finger at me and I come to her. They way her hands slip over my body makes my male member spring to attention. She leans up and runs her tongue over my nipple and chill bumps sprout all over my body.
“I want to kiss every last inch of you,” she says in a growl.
“I’d like that,” I say with a growl of my own.
I lie down and pull her on top of me. She kisses my chest and runs her mouth down my abs, trailing her tongue over the ridges and valleys. It’s me who aches to be inside her. As if reading my mind, she slides her body up mine then down again, filling herself with my throbbing cock.
We groan in unison. She sits up on me. I’m all inside her and she’s still for a moment, letting me spread her open to accommodate my girth and length. With a slow smile, she begins to slide up and down my length and looks at me as she runs her hands over my stomach.
My hands move to her tiny waist and I lift her up to help her stroke me a bit faster. He little body weighs nothing and I move her easily up and down my hard as nails dick.
Under Her Skin Page 33