The bus, which has been wrapped to resemble a train, has the words Polar Express written down the sides. It pulls to a stop in front of the hospital entrance. “Here we go,” Blaine says. “Stay in character now. You all have the areas you will be visiting, so let’s get this show on the road. Ho! Ho! Ho!”
The bus erupts into ho, ho, ho’s as the other Santa’s seem to be cheering. Blaine hands me my mask with the silly pointed hat attached to the top of it. He makes sure my hair isn’t visible at all, and we get out after all the others have. “Here we go, baby. I can’t explain how excited I am.”
I can’t explain how nervous I am!
Ten of us in all, we move into the lobby, and my heart stops as Davenport comes toward us with a frown on his face. “Okay, I’m gonna need to see a little ID here fellas.”
Silence falls on us all as the others have been briefed not to reveal their true identities. The other Santas and elves look back and forth at each other with odd looks on their faces.
“Just kidding!” Davenport shouts as he laughs. “I know Santa doesn’t need an ID. Go wish the kids a Merry Christmas, guys.” He waves and goes to the elevator to go down to his surveillance room to monitor things.
“Scared me there for a second,” Blain whispers to me.
I laugh nervously. “I’m still scared.”
“Calm down, little elf,” he says, then adds, “Ho, ho, ho.”
The sounds of the happy Santas fill the lobby, then disperse as we all take separate paths to separate areas of the hospital. My heart is pounding as we go to the set of elevators that will take us to what Blaine has called his destiny.
The man can be so dramatic sometimes!
The elevator stops on our floor, and as we step off, I nearly pass out, as the hallway is filled with the parents and families of the patients. A lot of them have cameras and most have their phones out, recording us.
“Oh, Blaine, this is terrible,” I whisper, so no one else can hear me.
“It’ll be fine,” he says, then makes a big wave. “Merry Christmas!”
“Look, it’s really Santa,” a little girl says as she comes running up to us. She tugs on Blaine’s red, velvet pants leg. “Hi, Santa. Remember me? I’m Polly and my sister is here. She’s very sick and I have only one thing to ask you for this year.”
“Of course I remember you, Polly,” Blaine says with a deep voice that I can’t recognize as his at all, and I find myself pretty relieved by that. “And what would you like to ask Santa for this year?”
“I want my sister to get better and get to finally come home,” she says with a smile on her face.
Just as I worry that Blaine won’t be able to come up with anything to say to her and work hard on trying to make my voice sound different, he says, “Well, that’s a great thing to ask for. Aren’t you a wonderful sister, Polly? I think I have a present in my sack for a sweet little girl like yourself.” He pulls a prettily-wrapped package out of his bag and hands it to her. “Here you go, and remember to be good. Christmas is right around the corner.”
“I know, Santa,” she says as she holds the package in her arms as if it’s precious to her. “Thank you so much!”
I have to smile underneath my mask, as he pulled that off better than I thought he’d be able to. And he didn’t even make a fake promise that might scar the little girl if her wish doesn’t come true.
Dragging the other red bag that’s also full of presents behind me, I follow Blaine as he goes down the hallway to the first room on the right. Tammy’s room.
Here’s where we’ll see if we’re pulling things off. If any of his four favorites can tell it’s us, then we shouldn’t try to go into Meagan’s room. I’m interested to see if her mother, Patsy, is able to tell it’s us as well.
Tammy has her long, blonde wig on as we come inside her room. Her mother is videoing us as Blaine says, “Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas, Tammy!”
I made sure to give every child’s name to all the Santas so they could amaze the kids further. I think it was genius on my part!
“Santa, you are real?” she shouts, then gets off her bed and runs to hug him. “I was afraid you’d just be a man in a suit.”
“Nonsense, little Tammy,” Blaine says with a resounding, deep, thumping voice. “Now, let me see what I have for you. Excuse me, my little elf helper. I do believe you have her present in your bag.”
I open the bag, find the gift with her name on it, and hand it to him. Then I make an attempt at talking very high and elf-like, “Here you go, Santa.”
Tammy giggles and looks at me. “Your voice sounds like you’ve been sucking on a helium balloon.”
I giggle with the same high tone to my voice. “Thank you, Tammy!”
If we didn’t have to go into Meagan’s room, I’d actually love this. But we do, so I’m still more nervous than I’ve ever been in my life!
Chapter 7
BLAINE
With the majority of the kids behind us, we come to Meagan’s door. Her mother’s the only one at it as she smiles at us, then pushes the door open. “Won’t you come in, Santa? I have a little girl here who is so excited to see you.”
I smile and nod. “Is Meagan ready to see Santa?” We head into the dimly-lit room. Mrs. Sanders closes the door behind us and stays on the other side to make sure we aren’t interrupted by anyone.
“Santa?” Meagan asks with a weak voice. “Is that really you?”
We get close to her, and I run my hand over her head. A red bow has been taped to her hairless scalp, and I see a mere shell of the little girl I visited not that long ago.
“Yes, it’s Santa, Meagan. I brought you a gift from the North Pole,” I tell her. “Can you get Meagan’s gift, elf?”
Delaney shuffles through the bag, taking her time like I asked her to, in order to give the little girl time to see if anything comes through. Meagan’s eyes have dark circles under them and she looks so tired. “Santa, can you tell me something?”
“Anything, Meagan,” I say and watch her reaching out for my hand.
“Can you take off your glove and hold my hand?” she asks me.
With a nod, I pull the glove off and hold my hand out to her. “Santa, can you tell me if you know a man named Blaine?”
Delaney stops digging through the bag and looks at us. I can tell she’s freaking out that Meagan has recognized me somehow. Her mind must be sputtering with what to do now.
“I do know a man named Blaine,” I tell her as she peers up at me.
“Good. Crystal’s telling me that I can tell you what she has to say. She told me you will let him know. You will let him know, right, Santa?” she asks, then looks just over my right shoulder.
I get a cold chill and feel my back going colder than I ever recall feeling before. “I will deliver whatever message you have for him. Who is Crystal?”
“She’s this very pretty angel who’s staying with me most of the time. She has little freckles across her nose. Her eyes are shiny and green. She’s nice and she promises me there’s nothing to be afraid of if I have to make the transition. If my body doesn’t get better.”
I feel a trickle of adrenaline move through me as cold air stirs near my right ear. “Is she here with you now?”
“Listen closely, and you might hear her. She’s trying to talk to you. You should close your eyes and listen as hard as you can,” she tells me, and I do as she’s said to and concentrate harder than I’ve ever done before.
I can’t hear a thing, but my ear is growing numb with the freezing air that’s hitting it. The sound of a picture being taken makes me open my eyes, and I see Delaney has out her cell phone and is taking pictures of me.
She isn’t saying a word, then she puts the phone down. With that mask on, I have no idea what her expression is and no idea why she took pictures of me.
“I can’t hear anything, Meagan,” I tell the little girl, who’s looking at me with wide eyes.
“I see. I guess she has to tell me, then, and
I’ll tell you. It’s been a long time since she was able to talk to anyone. Except me, that is. I’m the first person she’s been put in charge of making feel safe with the transition. That’s because I am special,” she says with a grin.
“You are very special,” I agree.
“What would you like me to tell him, Crystal?” she asks as her eyes follow what must be the woman she’s seeing, moving her gaze to the other side of her bed. Then she looks at me. “She wants me to tell you that she’s proud of how you, Kate, and Trent have turned out.” Her eyes go back to the other side of the bed. “Oh, okay.” She looks back at me. “Kent. Not Trent.”
I sigh and feel a weight moving off my shoulders that I didn’t even realize was there before. “How is my father?”
She looks back to where I guess my mother’s spirit is and nods. “He is fine and she sees him often, Blaine.” Meagan smiles at me. “You fooled me. You’re not really Santa. That’s okay. I’m sure the real Santa won’t forget about me, Mr. Vanderbilt. And Crystal told me not to tell my daddy about this. So I won’t. I always do what Crystal says, on account of her being an angel.”
“Good to know. Do you know that angel was once my mother?” I ask and look at the other side of the bed, longing to see what this little girl sees.
“I do. She’s not worried about you because she never worries,” Meagan says. “But she wants you to know there is another side. This world is not all there is. And you never need to be afraid of anything. Living, or dying. We are being watched over, but things happen anyway. Nothing is meant as a punishment. We all come here to experience different things.”
I find myself wanting to ask so many questions, I have no idea which ones to make the most important. “Can she answer any questions for me?”
Meagan looks away then back at me. “Ask one and she’ll see if she knows the answer. She says she doesn’t know everything.”
“Why does suffering exist?” I ask, as that’s been one that’s always hit me.
Meagan doesn’t skip a beat. “She says you may as well have asked why love exists. Why are there bees? Why are there rivers and lakes? She says, simply because it does exist, like everything else. There’s no reason to question it, the same as you wouldn’t question why macaroni and cheese tastes so good to you.”
Mac and cheese. It is my mother!
“Can you tell her that I love and miss her?” I ask.
“You just did, Blaine,” she says with a laugh. “She’s right here. Just because you can’t hear her doesn’t mean she can’t hear you.” Meagan looks back at Delaney. “And Nurse Richards, Crystal says to tell you thank you. Thank you for caring for Blaine and her other children. She said they really need you and to please never give up on any of them.”
“You know it’s me, too?” Delaney asks in her regular voice.
“Not me, I didn’t,” Meagan tells her. “Crystal knew that.” Meagan looks at me with a frown. “Is that true, Blaine?”
“Is what true, Meagan?”
“That my father’s treatment of me was one of the things that made your heart nearly go hard again?” she asks, then looks at the empty spot on the other side of her bed.
“I guess it is true,” I admit.
She looks back at me. “Daddy is just afraid. He’s not really a mean man. And I understand him. So please don’t worry about me or how I’m being treated. Don’t let anything that you might see as mean or unnecessary cruelty affect what you know to be true. Someone is always watching over us all, whether it seems like it or not.”
“Thank you,” I tell her and look at the spot my mother is most likely occupying. “And, thanks, Mom. I can’t wait to see you again.”
Meagan laughs a sweet laugh. “I know, Crystal. That is funny.” She looks at me, then says, “Time is a human thing. She said to remember that. When you see her again, it will be as if you never were without her. And she also said you should marry Nurse Richards.”
“Did she now?” I ask and chuckle. “Well, maybe I will ask her someday in the near future.”
“She said you better,” Meagan says, then laughs and wiggles as if she’s being tickled. “Okay, okay! You’re silly, Crystal!”
“I suppose we should get out of here. People might start wondering about us being in here so long,” Delaney says, then hands me the present we bought for Meagan.
I hand Meagan the present we bought for her. Something her father would approve of. We stay to watch her open it and find her clutching the book to her chest. “Thank you! Oh! I’ve always wanted a book to keep me company. Thank you so much!”
“It has pictures on every page and the words aren’t too long or hard. And maybe your mommy and daddy could help you read it,” I tell her as I run my hand one last time over her head.
She opens it and smiles at the very first page, then turns it for me to see. “Just like my angel,” she says about the picture of an angel hovering over a small boy as he crosses a bridge over raging waters, seemingly alone.
“Just like your angel,” I agree and smile at the little girl who has so many reasons not to believe in anything, but with the help of her angel, my mother, she’s more than happy with her life just as it is.
Life is amazing!
Chapter 8
DELANEY
Pulling the elf costume off, I finally get out of the uncomfortable thing, then fall onto the bed. Blaine is quick to stand over me, looking down at me with a smile and only his Santa shirt on, but left open. He’s holding some champagne on ice. “Tired, baby?”
“Not really. Just so ready to be out of these clothes.”
He pulls me up and unzips the back of the white corset that was holding my breasts in so no one would notice that I was a girl today. I breath out in relief, and he pulls me up to him, holding me. “You look amazing, my little elf. Ready to play Santa and the naughty elf?”
Reaching for the bottle of cold, crisp alcohol he’s holding, I find him batting at my hand. “Oh really?” I ask with a laugh.
“I need you to earn this drink. Kiss me like you want me,” he says with a deep voice that tells me he’s feeling naughty himself. He takes his Santa hat off and places it on my head. “And you better make me feel it, baby.”
“I do want you, so that’s not going to be hard at all.” I wrap my body around his and devour his neck. The noises he makes while he grows at an alarming rate against my core lets me know he’s liking the kiss and I may soon get a glass of the bubbly to quench my thirst.
BLAINE
With my Santa hat still on her head, somehow, I point at Delaney’s phone on the nightstand as I hold her satiated body in my arms. “Wanna show me what you took pictures of when I was talking to Meagan?”
“Oh!” she says, then sits up and grabs her phone. “I didn’t want to take this out in front of anyone else. But look at this.”
She hands her phone to me, and I find the pictures of me in the Santa suit in the dim light. A cloud of smoke is near my ear and in the center of the smoke is a pinpoint of light. Picture after picture shows the same thing, only the smoke moves and the light always stays at the center.
“Wow!” I say as I can’t stop looking at the pictures. “This is amazing!”
“And you never heard a word, Blaine?” she asks as she looks at the pictures too. “It’s like the spirit was right there.”
“I felt the cold, but I didn’t hear anything. Did you ever hear anything?”
She shivers and runs her hands over her arms as if she’s cold then shakes her head. “No, I never heard anything either. But I saw that and knew I should take some pictures for you to see it too.”
“I wanted to hear her voice so damn bad,” I tell her as I run my finger over the screen.
“I’m sure you did,” she says, then cuddles me. “I wish you could’ve heard her.”
“Me too. And I strained to see her the way Meagan did. I tried so hard. I just couldn’t. I wonder why some people can see and hear things like that and some can’t.”
She kisses my neck, then whispers, “Now, haven’t you learned not to ask questions like that? I’m sure the answer is … because, that’s why. Now I know from where my parents got their answer to every question I ever asked.”
I laugh as I think about how many times in my life I’ve heard nearly every adult say, because I said so.
“So, in your opinion, you and I couldn’t see or hear my mother, but Meagan could because the powers that be said so?” I ask her, then run my hand over her naked back and lift her up to straddle me as her kisses on my neck are growing a bit more passionate.
“That’s right. Why even waste time thinking about it?” she mumbles as her mouth moves with hot kisses over my neck. “You should lie back and let me show you things you never knew before.”
“Well, okay,” I say, shimmy my body down on the bed, and watch her move her body around until she’s securely attached and moaning with how good it feels.
“Will I ever not feel this way when you’re inside of me?” she asks as she moves her body up and down.
“I hope not,” I say as I watch her body move in waves, her long hair falling across one shoulder and her eyes closed.
“I hope not, too, because this feels amazing. You feel amazing and you make me feel,” she stops and moans as I flex my cock.
“Amazing! I know,” I finish her thought for her. “Open your eyes for a brief moment, baby.” She does and I take her chin in my hand and look into her eyes. “Can I ask you to marry me now? Since mom said I should?”
“I think if you did, I’d say yes. Since I know your mom said you should.” She leans down and takes my face between her palms and looks at me for the longest time as she barely moves her body to keep my dick stimulated. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I think I’d do anything for you, Blaine. So, if you decide to ask me to marry you, you can bet your ass I’d accept that offer. But you better take that commitment seriously. I won’t ever let you go.”
Taking her wrists, I pull her hands away and hold them to my heart. “Do you feel that?”
She nods. “It’s your heartbeat. I’m a nurse. I know these things.” She smiles at me, making it beat a little harder.
Under Her Skin Page 88