by Lacey Thorn
“Instinct?” she suggested.
“Maybe, but I’d rather my instinct have saved Thomas. He was gone when I got back. The lab we used was fucking destroyed. Equipment broken and all our journals gone. Not that they’ll help whoever has them. I write all my stuff in my own shorthand code. It was something Thomas thought of. I’m glad he did.”
“What do you think happened to him?” she asked.
“I don’t know for sure. I don’t know if he was there when whoever did that came in or not. Most of the place was destroyed, not just our lab. All I found…” He stopped as it hit him. “My God. The only thing I found was a note with Clara’s name and coordinates for here. It was in Lydia’s handwriting.”
“She came here with Dillon, planning to kill Amia and Logan, as well, so she could take Clara back with her.”
“If that was her plan, why leave me the information of where to find her?” Gideon challenged. “What if it was a way to draw me here?”
“You think she was hoping you’d get here in time to stop whatever Dillon had planned or so she could kill you, too?”
“I may never know,” he said. “I got held up. Then it took us a few days to sort through stuff when we got back. I was desperately hoping some of our research would be salvageable.”
“I know you feel guilty for not noticing what Dillon was doing to her,” Vic said. “But I’m not sure she would have been able to leave you a note to draw you here, unless she was hoping to kill you. The Lydia who arrived here was a cut throat bitch.”
“She told me something before she died,” he admitted.
“What?”
“I’m not sure,” he said with grunt of frustration.
“You didn’t hear her?”
“No, I heard her. I’m just not sure what she meant. She said Thomas’ name then Dillon’s. Then she said betrayed.”
“Sounds like she was telling you Dillon betrayed Thomas. You suspected that.”
“I know. I just can’t shake this feeling in my gut that there’s more to it than that. I can’t explain it. I was so certain when I came here that Dillon was the one who left the mess. Now, I’m realizing I’ve been blind to so much around me.”
“And you’re wondering if you’ve missed something where Dillon is concerned?”
“Yes.”
“You’re a good guy, Gideon.”
He snorted.
“Murphy called and told Finn and I what was going on with Lydia,” Vic said, and her gaze was filled with…pride? Christ, was she proud of what he’d done?
“It was a good thing you did for them. We’re very lucky you were here.”
He shrugged, not comfortable with her praise. “I owed Lydia that much.”
“You have to stop thinking you need to spend your life making amends for things. Everything is not your fault. You’re one person. Why didn’t Thomas see what was going on? Or Ariel? Or Griffin? Should they be beating themselves up?”
She made a valid point. One he’d never considered. He was the type of person who took the blame on himself. He didn’t place it on others. That wasn’t the man he was.
“You have to learn to let some things go, Gideon. Learn to forgive yourself,” she said and patted the bed for him to join her. “If not for you, then for me, for your mate. I’m not a perfect person, either. I have ghosts and scars that cut deep. But with you… God, with you I feel complete. I feel awakened. I feel…” She blinked watery blue eyes at him. “More. I feel like I’m more than I’ve ever been.”
“I feel so unworthy of you,” he said as he crossed to sit in front of her.
She smiled softly, leaning in to cup his face and kiss him tenderly. “I feel the same way toward you,” she confessed. “So maybe together we can be worthy of each other.”
“I’m going to have to leave,” he said. “I need to search for Thomas.”
“So, I go with you,” she countered. “Or you come to Oklahoma just long enough for everyone to get settled, and we take a few others with us.”
“I can’t ask them to do that,” he said.
“I can,” she said. “Clara can and will. We’ve always planned to search for Thomas from the moment Clara realized he was missing. Unfortunately, it’s been one thing after another, and we haven’t been able to spare anyone. This move. We need this, and not only because we have hunters on our tails. Abby was attacked here. Logan and Tah were shot. We’re lucky Amia and Reno forgave the way she was treated when they first got here.”
“I heard,” Gideon admitted—Clara had told him. “I also heard about Clara being kept in a room. You do realize she could have escaped if she wanted to,” he said.
“I figured,” Vic stated. “But it was pretty obvious from the beginning she was into Logan. I’m pretty sure that’s why Tah had Logan assigned to take care of her. I think sometimes people don’t realize what a crafty bastard he is.”
Gideon laughed.
“But my point was, we all could use a fresh start somewhere else. I think this move will be good for us in a lot of ways,” she said.
“I’m going to have to think,” Gideon admitted.
“About Oklahoma versus leaving from here to search for Thomas?” Vic asked, and he nodded. “I’d suggest talking to Clara, first. I can guarantee you she’ll have heard everything you said to the council by now.”
“Logan?” Gideon said, and she nodded.
“She’s been occupied with Lydia, but she’ll be leaving tomorrow. I’m pretty sure she’ll confront you before she does,” Vic said. “She’ll want to be a part of this, and she has a right to be. She lost her mother, her aunt, her father and now the woman who became a surrogate mother to her.”
“I can’t let her lose Thomas, too,” Gideon said.
“She’s not yours to protect,” Vic said. “She has a mate, and the choices she makes are and should be between them.”
“So I should keep my focus on my mate?”
“If you choose to claim one, “Vic said. “Then you should definitely consult with her on everything, and expect her to do the same with you. No secrets.”
“I have a feeling I’ll be a hard man to love,” he warned her.
“And I’ll drive you crazy,” Vic promised.
“Are you sure?” he asked, leaning in and holding her gaze with his. “There’s no going back. Mating is forever. Even beyond death.”
“That sounds like just long enough,” Vic whispered. “Make me yours. Be mine. Mate me.”
He reached for the shirt she wore and jerked it up and over her head. Her hands were fumbling at his pants, and he hissed out a breath as her palm met his shaft, wrapping around and squeezing it. He took her down onto the bed while they both worked off his jeans. He ate at her mouth and reveled in the scratch of her fingernails along his skin. When they were both naked, he pushed her onto the bed and slid between her thighs. She was wet and ready, and he thrust deep.
“Yes,” she cried, arching into him.
He rode her hard, holding nothing back and giving the beast free reign. She was theirs. He nuzzled her neck then dropped his mouth lower to suck a turgid nipple. She was sweet. God, so sweet his teeth ached. He popped free and moved across to the other one, giving it the same thorough treatment.
“Squeeze them together,” he ordered, wanting to suck both nipples at the same time.
She complied willingly and cried out in pleasure as he took them into his mouth, laving over them before nipping with his teeth. He’d be content to spend every day for the rest of his life just like this.
“Mine,” he growled and watched her eyes turn a darker shade of blue.
“Mine,” she answered back, moving her hands up to clasp his shoulders, nails digging deep and marking him.
He moved his mouth to her neck, licking over the spot where her shoulder merged with the smooth column. He kissed it, scraped it with his teeth then left an open-mouthed kiss that turned her flesh red.
“Mine,” he said again, a growl rumbling up from his
chest.
She nodded her head. He felt her driving her heels into the bed as she rocked up to meet him thrust for thrust.
“Mine,” he grunted.
“Yours,” she agreed. “I’m yours.”
Finally, she gave him what he needed to hear. He sank his teeth deep, biting into her flesh and sucking. She came, screaming his name as she did. Her pussy contracted around his cock, again and again, until she milked his seed from him. When he collapsed against her, he knew his saliva was already inside her, changing and enhancing her. Soon, her senses would expand, opening her up to so much more around her. Her body would be quicker to heal when injured. More importantly, they would begin forming a link. Soon, they would be able to sense the other no matter where they were, no matter how far apart. He would know if she were in danger.
“We’re mated now?” she asked, fingers rubbing over the spot he’d left on her skin.
He nodded and kissed her softly over the bite. “Did I hurt you?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Best damn orgasm of my life when you bit me.”
“Yes,” he agreed. It had been incredible. “It will only get better.”
“I don’t see how.”
“You know your body will change?” he asked. He’d assumed she knew but hadn’t asked. He should have.
She nodded. “The enhanced senses, better healing and a connection between us.”
He felt relief flow through him. “That connection will lead to us sharing things with each other during sex. I’ll know how good something feels to you. You’ll know the same about me.”
“That might get pretty intense.”
“Oh, yeah,” he agreed, rocking his hips into her in case she’d missed the fact he was hard again.
She wiggled her ass, eyes closing as she moaned. “We should probably do that again,” she suggested.
“Oh, I agree,” he purred.
“And you should bite me,” she added. “Just to make sure.”
“Oh, you’re mine,” he told her. “You’re not getting away, now.”
She smiled. “Good thing I’m happy right where I am.”
“I…I want to show you something,” Gideon said, sitting up beside her.
She wiggled her brows. “Baby, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every inch of you, and trust me when I say, I love it.”
He shook his head. “I want you to meet the other part of me.”
She sat up as understanding dawned in her eyes. “Your jaguar?”
He nodded.
“I’d love to see the beast part of my man.”
Her man. He loved the way it sounded. And he’d never grow tired of hearing her say it. He rose from the bed and, holding her gaze, began to change. He felt the flex of muscle, the shifting of bones as his body morphed from man to animal. He let the jaguar take the lead, understanding his animal needed time with their mate, as well.
The beast sat back on its haunches, watching Vic as she slowly rose from the bed and walked to them. She dropped to her knees before them and reached out one hand to brush over his black coat.
“Oh, Gideon,” she breathed, leaning closer to stroke him with both hands. “You’re so beautiful.”
Both man and beast soaked up her touch, reveling in the love she showed in each caress. She was theirs, and both were more than willing to kill to protect her. It was that moment that he noticed something else. The ache that had been constant since he’d been shot was finally gone.
Chapter Twelve
Gideon was a new man the next morning. He felt lighter, happier, and he knew exactly who was to blame for it. His mate. He still didn’t feel worthy of her, but he’d gladly spend the rest of his life trying to prove otherwise.
He was back in the lab that morning, helping Diane get all the stuff packed she felt needed to go with her. The rest would travel with the Professor when he headed south with Reno. Gideon still wasn’t sure if he was going to Oklahoma, first, or heading out to begin searching for Thomas. He really needed to talk to Dillon, see if he could pull any information out of the younger man.
“I was hoping I’d find you down here,” Clara said. “I’d like to talk to you.”
He nodded. “Give me some more time to help Diane with this stuff.”
“Go ahead,” Diane said. “Zane’ll be down in a little bit, anyway. We’ve got most of it already packed.”
“Are you sure?” Gideon asked.
“Absolutely,” Diane said and made a shooing motion with her hands.
“Okay,” Gideon said and turned to Clara.
“Let’s go for a walk,” she said and led the way upstairs.
They were outside before she began talking again.
“In some ways, I can’t wait to leave this place behind,” she said. “And in some ways, I’m going to miss it. This is where I met Logan.”
“But he’s yours, now,” Gideon said.
“As Vic is now yours,” Clara said. “Congratulations and welcome to the family.”
He gave her a funny look. He hadn’t thought about that.
“As part of that family, you have a responsibility,” she began. “To all of us.”
“Wait a minute,” he said, shaking his head.
“You can’t just think of yourself, anymore,” she continued. “Or of my uncle. You have to think about all of us, and what’s best for the group.”
“I can’t make that promise,” he said. “This pride needs Thomas. You need him.”
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately,” Clara told him. “Remembering. When I was a girl, and I’d come in with scrapes or bruises, I’d run to my uncle. And before Lydia was around, he always sent me to you. Gideon will take care of it. Go see Gideon. Or he’d just bellow for you and shoo me into your care.”
“He was busy,” Gideon said. “He knew he could trust me to see to you. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.”
“I know he does,” she agreed. “As much as he’s capable of, anyway. But I think we both know a part of him died when he lost my Aunt Stella and their child. I don’t blame him for that. The thought of losing Logan…” She shook her head and swallowed. “I don’t want to contemplate it. But I think we’ve made far too many excuses for my uncle and let him get away with far too much over the years.”
“Clara,” Gideon said. He could see the pain on her face—hear it in her voice.
“I think it’s time we stop,” she finished softly. “I’m not saying we don’t go after him. I’m just saying, we’re smart about it. Besides…” She met his gaze again and tears swam in her eyes. “He might be captured again on purpose. And I think history shows us, he’s more than capable of taking care of himself.”
“He is,” Gideon agreed.
“I heard my dad and Uncle Thomas arguing before my dad left for the last time,” she admitted softly.
Gideon held completely still, somehow sensing her next words were going to change things and there would be no going back.
“Dad didn’t want to go, but Thomas insisted. Said there was someone Michael needed to meet, someone important. And I know it wasn’t Lydia or Amia.”
Gideon shook his head. “He never said anything to me.”
She shrugged. “We may never know. But think about it. Thomas is willing to sacrifice anyone for what he wants. How many times did he send you out?”
“He sent you after Lydia’s daughter didn’t he? Amia? When you were captured and escaped?” he asked, ignoring her question.
Clara nodded. “He did. He sent me to the same place my father was killed. And if not for Amia, I would have died there, as well.”
“Fuck!” Gideon said. So much made sense now. Had Thomas told him no one would forgive him because he cared or because he wanted to keep Gideon alone and feeling as if all he could do was work at making amends?
“I know you feel it’s your duty to go search for him,” Clara said. “I felt the same way. But my mate has taught me a lot, especially about love. I love my uncle, but I won�
�t be one more person he sacrifices to get what he thinks he needs. Neither should you.”
“I don’t know what to feel at the moment,” Gideon admitted. “If that’s true… If Thomas… God, I feel manipulated.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Not by you,” he said, interrupting her. “He knew exactly what to say to get me to do what he wanted. I’ve been such a fool.”
“No,” she said. “You’ve been a friend. He’s the one who used us all. I think maybe that was what Lydia was trying to tell us at the end.”
“She said Dillon betrayed,” Gideon said.
“She said my uncle’s name three times. Then she said Dillon’s once. Then he betrayed. I know you want to think she meant Dillon betrayed Thomas somehow. And trust me, I know Dillon is not innocent in all this. But what if she was trying to tell us Thomas betrayed Dillon?”
“No way,” Gideon said automatically, but his gut was saying something else.
“It would explain so much,” Clara said. “And I’m sorry to say I don’t have a problem seeing Thomas betraying someone. Ask yourself what he could have done to Dillon. If anyone can figure it out, it would be you.”
“I’ll think about it,” he promised. Hell, he’d probably think of little else now that she’d planted all the seeds of doubt in his head. He knew Thomas was more than capable of everything she’d said, but would he have really done it? Gideon wasn’t sure.
“I’ll be leaving in a few hours,” Clara said. “I’m glad I got the chance to talk to you before then, and I’m sorry if anything I’ve said hurt you.”
“You haven’t hurt me,” he said. “I’m upset I didn’t think of these things myself. And I’m so sorry, Clara. This can’t be easy for you.”
“Sometimes we’re too close to see what’s in front of our faces. I was. Coming here, meeting my mate and the rest of this pride… This is what helped open my eyes.”
“I can see that.”
“I hope you’ll decide to come to Oklahoma. We need you, really need you. Tah, Reno, Logan and the rest of them, they know what friendship means. It’s sacred to them. I know Tah said you’d always be welcome. He meant it, Gideon. No ulterior motives.”