“That sounds perfect. Thank you. But I also don’t mind cooking. I’m not really pitching in for expenses here, so you shouldn’t have to pay all the time.”
He let out a short, bitter laugh. “As if, Janie. I owe you—more than a few meals. But we’ll talk about that later, too.” He walked away before she could argue further with him, because he knew she wanted to. And the longer he stood in the house, with the image of Will staring at the ceiling, not even looking at him, the angrier he got. He replayed that conversation of Will telling him how broke Janie was, and the anger grew again.
He wouldn’t let Maxi hide this time. If she didn’t answer her phone again, he’d just have to go out and find her and handle this face-to-face.
…
The cold March air was welcome against Aiden’s heated skin as he strode toward the barn. He hadn’t been so agitated in years. But all of this—the self-loathing, the hurt, the anger at not being told he was a father for so many years—was rushing to the surface.
He’d been a hothead in his youth and had resorted to anger when he was bitter and jealous, watching his friends leave for college in pursuit of their dreams while he’d been wiping down the counter at River’s, listening to his dad tell him he was better off with a job at the bar than wasting his time in college when he’d probably just flunk out anyway. College was for smart people. Aiden wasn’t smart, according to his father. Despite straight As. Despite getting full scholarships to three different colleges. No, in his dad’s eyes, Aiden was only good for one thing—being his assistant. If he wanted more, that meant he was arrogant and boastful.
Aiden swung the barn door open and pulled out his phone, ready to get this call over with. No answer. No surprise. He redialed for the next five minutes, and when she still didn’t answer, he texted her.
It’s Aiden. We need to talk about Will. Call me at this number ASAP.
He didn’t have to wait long. He answered on the first ring.
“Aiden, hi, how are you?” she said sweetly.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and told himself to keep it civil at the sound of her bubbly voice. “Well, I’m a dad, so belated congrats to me. Very belated.”
“Did you get a test done?”
He gritted his teeth. “Yes. He’s definitely mine.”
Maxi squealed on the other end of the phone as though she’d just won a car. “I had a strong feeling it was you. I mean, after seeing his latest pictures, the resemblance was undeniable.”
Pictures, she said. She hadn’t seen him in person. In how long?
“I don’t even know where the hell to start, Maxi. I’m so pissed off with you. How could you have kept him from me? How could you have just handed him over to your little sister? How could you have let him think I didn’t want him?”
There was a long pause, and for a moment he thought she might be taking this seriously. But then she said, “If you don’t change your tone of voice, I’m not answering any of your questions. And I’m not responsible for your feelings. Only you can take responsibility for those.”
He took a deep breath. “I’ll try this again. Did you know you were pregnant with my baby when you left Wishing River?”
“Oh, you mean after that horrible display between you and Mike?”
“Yeah. That ‘display’ where I ended up with a knife to my face and a permanent scar.”
“Let’s not rehash all the details,” she said quickly. “To answer your question, no, I didn’t know. But by the time I found out, Mike and I were solid again, so I really wanted the baby to be his.”
Just as he’d guessed. Part of him wished he’d been wrong—that Maxi wasn’t always so predictable. He gripped the railing of the stall and dug his nails into the wood, taking any outlet he could find to release his tension. “So you hoped the baby was his, and because you wanted it, that’s what should happen?”
“I was with Mike way more times than with you. The odds were in his favor.”
He didn’t even understand how he could have been with Maxi. “But you didn’t think you should confirm just in case, especially when he looks exactly like me?”
She let out an exaggerated sigh. “What was the point? A year after he was born, Mike and I broke up again. Janie had nothing going on and is super domestic and was always bringing home stray animals, so she really latched onto the idea of having someone love her, like a baby.”
He clamped his jaw shut and tried not to swear out loud. “Out of the generosity of your heart, you handed your eighteen-year-old sister our baby. For her sake. And told her the baby’s father wanted nothing to do with him.”
“I know you’re being sarcastic, but yeah, that’s kind of how it went. I wasn’t feeling well at the time, either, so it made the most sense. Will and Janie got along so well. Two peas in a pod. They seemed like a natural fit. You were pretty mad when I left Wishing River, and I didn’t really want to have to deal with that. The rest is history.”
“I missed out on more than fifteen years, Maxi. Because of you. That kid thinks I didn’t want him. Or he thinks I’m irresponsible and couldn’t care less. You could have at least told them the truth.”
“Look,” she snapped, sounding much more like the Maxi he remembered now, “he’s not your responsibility. Just help Janie out with some money, and she’ll continue to look after him. They act like mother and son. You were never supposed to get involved.”
“Are you kidding me? No. I mean, yes, I’ll help Janie out, but I’m not giving Will up. I just got him in my life, and I’m going to be a real dad for him. I can’t just forget about him now.”
“Oh…I’m glad to hear that, actually. I think you could be good for Will,” she said, surprising him. He didn’t trust that response, though. Whenever Maxi was agreeable, it meant she had an ulterior motive.
“Why aren’t you in his life? Like, now. A year ago. Years ago? How come you never stepped back in? Don’t you miss him?”
“I never wanted to be a mom, Aiden. Never. Will was a mistake—”
“He’s not a mistake,” he bit out. The defensiveness came without thinking, without hesitation. It felt wrong to say that amazing kid inside was a mistake. He was right where he was supposed to be—with his father. He knew what it was like to feel like a mistake, and there was no way in hell he’d ever be okay with Will feeling that about himself.
“You know what I mean. He wasn’t expected.” She blew out a long breath. “Anyway, for a while I thought I could handle it. The truth is, he’s better off with Janie. Now he has you, too. So, you can tell Janie that you want full custody and I have no problem with backing you up.”
Acid swirled in his stomach. Janie was being used. “How can you have no loyalty to your sister? After everything she’s done for you? For Will?”
Maxi made a huffing sound. “That’s gratitude for ya. I thought you’d be happy that I think you should have full custody. You are his biological father. Janie’s just his aunt.”
“Just his aunt? Hell, Max, that’s low. Even for you.” He shook his head. This conversation was doing nothing but upsetting him more. “I’ll work something out with Janie. But there’s no way in hell I’m going to repay her by forcing her out of Will’s life just because I’m his dad. I wouldn’t do that to her, and I wouldn’t do that to Will.”
“Fine. Do whatever.” She paused, then her sickly sweet tone returned. “So…how’ve you been?”
“None of your damn business. I’m not going to sit here and shoot the shit with you like we’re BFFs. And you need to tell them the truth. They need to hear it from you. They will never believe me without proof. You tell both of them I never knew you were pregnant. For God’s sake, Maxi…you never told me you had my baby.”
…
Janie stopped dead in her tracks as she heard Aiden ask Maxi how she could have no loyalty to her. But she sucked in a hard breath when he
said that Maxi needed to tell them the truth.
He really hadn’t known.
He wasn’t a deadbeat. He hadn’t been lying. A shiver ran through her, and then she sneezed loudly. Her city-girl nose wasn’t used to breathing air that shared the same space with bales of hay.
Aiden turned around, pocketing his phone. His face was red and tense, and the grin he gave her was weak. “Sorry. I’m taking longer than expected out here.”
“No worries,” Janie said as casually as she could and walked into the barn, her heart racing. She took in the pride in his handsome face and wanted to tell him that she was happy for him, that he would be vindicated. But he didn’t look like he was going to share anything with her right now, and she didn’t want to look as though she’d been eavesdropping. “I just came out to tell you that Will said he doesn’t feel like eating. Which is a lie, of course, because he literally eats every five minutes. I don’t know if we should force him, to break the ice. Sometimes holding it all in is worse. On the other hand, I was thinking maybe he does need space to process all of this.”
Aiden stood silent, and after a few moments Janie became self-conscious. The tension seemed to dissipate from those broad shoulders, to soften the hard lines of his face, as he stared at her. Finally, he said, “You’re a wonderful mom to him.”
She hadn’t expected the compliment and felt her cheeks flush. He’d defended her to Maxi—a first in her life—and now he was praising her. She averted her gaze, settling on the mare in the stall closest to her. “Thank you for saying that. There have been many days when I’ve questioned every word out of my mouth. Especially once he hit puberty. I’m happy you’re here now, though, and I’m sure he will be soon, too, because there are…lots of questions he has that I, um, have trouble answering.”
Her cheeks were now flaming. Why on earth had she brought up puberty?
Aiden grimaced. “I’m not sure I’ll be much better.”
She raised her eyebrows. “You will. Trust me.”
“Right, okay. Those kinds of questions.” He looked down and kicked his boot into the dirt. “I spoke with Maxi. I needed to get a handle on the past and why she never told me.”
Janie held her breath, then let the words out in a rush. “Because of Mike. She was obsessed with him for so long.”
“Was he…good to Will?”
Janie’s heart squeezed at the sound of his gruff voice. “He was barely there, but when he was…yeah. He was okay with him. I know you must have a thousand questions. Maybe after Will goes to sleep we can go through them, and then come up with a game plan for how to move forward.”
“That sounds good.”
“As for Will and dinner, we might be able to lure him out with the smell of food. It has worked in the past. I can walk by his room holding the bag so the scent wafts under the door and then tiptoe into the kitchen.”
Aiden let out a short laugh. “Those are high-level parenting skills right there, Janie.”
She laughed with him for a moment. “I did pick up a trick or two along the way.”
“I’ll be back with food in under an hour, and hopefully we can have dinner with Will,” he said, and they walked out of the barn.
“Perfect.” She zipped up her jacket as the wind chilled her.
“Janie…I know we have a lot to sort out. I came on pretty strong about raising Will, and I just want you to know that I will find a way to make things right for you.”
Maybe it was the way he said it or the softness in his otherwise hard face as he looked at her, but she believed him.
Aiden pulled his black cowboy hat lower over his forehead, and she realized as they walked how much he suited this place. He looked more at home here, on the wide-open pasture, with the wind whipping around them, than he did at his bar. She looked up at him, her breath caught somewhere deep inside as she was struck by how beautiful he was, how he fit out here in a way that seemed so natural. The mountains behind him and the open, hard land around him didn’t make him seem small. It made him look as though he was one with it—as though he belonged here.
She shook off the thought, feeling ridiculous. How would she know anything about the great outdoors and who belonged in it?
Janie walked with him and tried to picture a younger version of Aiden being happy with Maxi, but she couldn’t. They seemed so opposite.
Men are fickle creatures, her mother had told her. They’re attracted to beautiful women like moths are to a flame. Maxi will never have to work a day in her life—she can get by on her looks—which is why I’m so forceful with you, so that you learn how to earn your own way in the world. I won’t be here forever, dear. I know you have a good heart, but our hearts are inside. No man will find you beautiful because of your heart.
Janie had long ago figured out her mother had so many issues that she’d dumped on her and her sister. She knew that—rationally—but sometimes, when she least expected it, those old memories, old words would rise to the surface and cut her all over again.
They walked back to the house in silence, and Janie could tell Aiden was deep inside his own thoughts. As she went up the front steps and he went to his truck, insecurity gripped her. This town, this man, and this ranch were all new to her. All of this was so foreign.
They weren’t supposed to be here. They were supposed to be on their way home now. Despite his assurances, Aiden had made it clear he wanted to be a father to Will and he would stay in Wishing River, where he had roots.
And despite what she wanted to believe, the facts were that Wishing River wasn’t her home and Will would never be her son.
All her life, she’d rolled with the punches. Took hit after hit, just dealt with it, and every problem she conquered made her stronger to face the next one. Now, she wasn’t so sure this was a fight she could win—a fight against herself to accept that this situation was one she couldn’t change.
But if Aiden Rivers was going to be the thing that finally knocked her down, she swore right then, she would go down swinging.
Chapter Seven
The next morning, Janie and Will were having breakfast together while Aiden was out in the barn. Will hadn’t been lured out by food last night, and she and Aiden hadn’t discussed plans or a future at all. Aiden seemed to shut down, and Janie had been fine with that. She had been emotionally exhausted herself and needed some time alone.
But now, Will had come wandering into the kitchen, looking like a lost puppy with the appetite of a bear. He was currently on his third bowl of cereal while Janie sat with a mug of coffee.
“How are you feeling?”
Will shrugged, the answering method of choice at the moment, while shoving another spoonful of cereal into his mouth.
“I know this is difficult, and you must have so many different feelings and questions, and that’s all okay. I’m here for you. Aiden is here for you, too,” she said gently.
He put his spoon down for a moment but kept his gaze focused on the bowl. “I called Mom last night. It was bad.”
Janie’s stomach dropped. “What did she say?”
“She admitted she’s the liar. Not this stranger we just met a couple days ago. My mom is a liar. She lied to you, to me, to Aiden. She didn’t want me, so she gave me to you and didn’t even bother telling my real dad that I existed. I want to go back to a week ago, before I knew any of this. I was happy before we came here, with just you and me. This is all messed up now. We’re like some screwed-up family on a talk show.”
Janie’s chest tightened, and she reached out to grab his hand, like she’d always done when he needed comforting, praying he wouldn’t pull away. “I’m sorry, Will. I’m so sorry, honey. But you know what? That’s your mom’s problem. Her lying is nothing to be proud of. You are fifteen, and you know that wasn’t the right thing to do. What you can concentrate on right now is how you want your future to be. You’ll always have me. Whe
re you go, I go,” she said, pausing at the crack in her voice, because despite Aiden wanting Will, she would not step away quietly.
Will met her gaze, the vulnerability in his blue eyes making her heart ache even more, but it gave her hope. He was listening to her.
“I know it’s hard,” she went on. “But sometimes the hardest things lead to the biggest rewards. Aiden is committed to being a dad to you, and he’s so worried about you. This is hard for him, too. But if I didn’t think he was a good guy, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”
Will didn’t say anything for a moment, then shoved his bowl away. “He’s worried about me?”
Janie’s heart skipped a beat. “He is. He even went out and bought junk food last night and tried to lure you out of your room with the smell. He’s trying to do the right thing. He doesn’t know how to be a dad, yet, but he wants to be. For you.”
Will’s chin wobbled, and Janie remembered all the times she’d seen that chin wobble. He’d run to her with all his problems, all his tears, and she’d hold him until he felt better. Those days were precious memories. The days had been so very long and the years so short. She couldn’t believe the young man sitting in front of her was the same little boy who used to crawl into bed with her during thunderstorms wearing Sesame Street pajamas. It felt like he’d just grown up overnight. She would always feel like his mother, even if she wasn’t.
Will cleared his throat. “He said that if he’d known I was alive he would have found me. That he never would have let fifteen years go by.”
Janie’s heart squeezed, and she touched Will’s hand. “Do you believe him?”
Will nodded. “Yeah.”
“Me, too. You know, we don’t have to decide everything right now. I mean it; no pressure. Aiden doesn’t want you to feel pressured, either. Why don’t we spend some time just getting to know him? He said he’d love to show us around Wishing River.”
Wishing for a Cowboy Page 7