Wishing for a Cowboy

Home > Other > Wishing for a Cowboy > Page 23
Wishing for a Cowboy Page 23

by James, Victoria


  “Sorry,” he said flatly. “Can’t remember. Listen, now that you’re here and there’s no one else at the bar, we should talk.”

  Her lips curled into a smile. “I agree. We can go to your office. I bet it hasn’t changed a bit.”

  Aiden clenched down hard on his teeth. “It has. It’s completely different. Just like I’m completely different. We need to talk about Will and what your plans are with him.”

  Her brows snapped together, and she stood straight. “Fine. I don’t know when you became such a killjoy.”

  “I’m not a killjoy. I just grew up.”

  She drummed her fingers against the bar top. “I want us to try again. You, me, Will. I want us to try and be a family together again.”

  What the hell. He ran a hand down his face and moved closer to her so that no one could overhear them. “We never tried in the first place, remember? Because you never actually told me I was a dad. It was Janie who walked in here with Will last month. Not you.”

  “Oh, so this is my fault?”

  He cocked his head to the side, his eyes on hers. “Yeah, actually. It is. So why don’t you fess up and tell me what you’re really after? I’m not buying the whole happy-family bullshit.”

  “Thanks a lot. I don’t deserve a second chance? You’re never going to forgive me for Mike, are you?”

  “I have forgiven you. I look back on that time in my life as a colossal shit show. But I take full responsibility for my own actions. I don’t blame you for that. But I don’t trust you, either; your timing is off. If you’d walked in here with Will a few weeks ago, instead of Janie, then maybe. But from what I hear, you’ve been MIA since the beginning and dumped him on your little sister when she was barely an adult.”

  She scoffed. “It’s not as clear-cut as that. I was struggling, and she had nothing going on. She asked to help, to take care of Will. She’s domestic like that.”

  “She had no choice. She loves Will and put her entire life on hold to be a mother to him, Maxi. She was there for him when no one else was, and I’ll be indebted to her forever because of that.” He poured himself another shot of whiskey.

  Her eyes narrowed on his. “Don’t confuse debt for love, if that’s what’s happening. You and I are the same. I know you, Aiden.”

  He rolled his shoulders back, but the tension remained. “You don’t know me. Not anymore. I’m not that guy. I’m a dad, and I’ve only known Will a short time, but I love him. I’d do anything to make him happy. I’d do anything to protect him. I have a lot to make up for, Max. The last thing you and I need is to get back together.”

  “You don’t think he deserves a real family?”

  “Depends on your definition of ‘real family’.But you waltzing in here after so many years tells me it’s not genuine—it’s convenient. As much as you say you know me, I know you, too. If you’d wanted to be a real mother to Will, you would have before now. You can’t pop back into his life and pretend you want to be a mother and then leave when it gets too hard or boring. That’s not fair. He’s been through enough. If you’re here for good, then fine. I’ll help you get a place, a job, but for Will’s sake. Not for me. There’s no you and me.”

  She grimaced. “A job? In Wishing River? I’m not working in a bar or a diner or some stuffy antique shop, so no thanks.”

  “That’s your plan? Not working? Pretending to be in love with me?”

  She lifted her chin. “This is all because you’re in love with Janie, isn’t it?”

  He braced his arms on the counter and leaned forward. “Yeah. I am. But that’s not what this is about. It’s about what’s doing right for Will. None of this was Janie’s mess. She doesn’t deserve to be dragged into our drama. She’s already put her own dreams on hold for too long. I want her to finish school now and be a veterinarian.”

  Something in Maxi softened, and for a second, he thought he saw the woman she might have been. But it was quickly gone, and she glanced down, her perfectly manicured hands splayed out on the counter. “Okay, well then I guess I’ll be straight with you, Aiden. I need money. I’ll get out of town if you can give me that. Then I’ll leave you guys to live your life.”

  He felt the blood drain from his face. His own feelings for her aside, she was still his son’s mother. “Are you in trouble, Max?”

  She shook her head quickly. “It’s not like that. I just…I need some money to start over,” she said, sliding off the seat.

  “Don’t leave without saying goodbye to Will,” he said, his voice hoarse.

  She nodded. “I won’t. I’ll, um, just wait around for you to close tonight, and we can go back to the house together.”

  He took a deep breath. He would do it for Will. “I’ll have your money for you.”

  Maxi looked down for a moment and then back at him. “Okay. I’ll be gone first thing tomorrow morning. I’m going to sit at one of the tables and make a few calls.”

  “Wait,” he said as she stood up.

  She raised her brows but didn’t say anything.

  “You tell him the truth, though, Maxi. The PG version, but the truth. You tell Will you love him, that you’re sorry you lied to him all these years. You tell him you want him to be happy, that he’s smart, and you’re proud of him, and that he can be whatever he wants to be in life.”

  She flung her hair over her shoulder. “That’s a fair deal, I guess.”

  He resisted the urge to make a smart-ass comment and just nodded, relieved to see her walking to the tables in the back.

  …

  Aiden busied himself with wiping down the already clean counter, reeling about how quickly everything was changing. He’d been right; Maxi hadn’t been here for him or Will. His chest squeezed at the thought of Will ever overhearing the way Maxi spoke—how she could flippantly toss him aside.

  “Hey, Aiden.”

  He looked up to find Hope sitting down at a barstool. “Hey, Hope. How are you?”

  She smiled at him, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’m okay. How about you?”

  He shrugged, wondering what she knew about him and Janie. Probably a lot. Probably thought he was a jerk now. He wouldn’t say anything unless she brought it up. His gaze went to the table where Hope and her friends usually sat. “Are you all by yourself? No partners in crime tonight?”

  “All by myself. Lainey and Ty are at Sarah and Cade’s. I just didn’t feel like hanging out with them.”

  “They turned into boring old married couples?”

  “Ha. No, not at all. I don’t know…it’s just starting to feel weird. Dean and I go there as though we’re…not,” she said, resting her cheek on her hand.

  He studied her for a moment before pouring her the wine he kept in stock just for her and her friends. Looking at Hope, he already knew the answer to her problems, even though she didn’t. Hope had her heart shattered when her husband had died over six years ago, leaving her alone to raise a little girl.

  She had feelings for Dean, and she’d had them for years. Just as Dean had feelings for Hope. Since neither of them were acting on their feelings, they basically drove each other crazy and argued over everything.

  “Thanks, Aiden. You always come through for me,” she said, taking a sip, the pain in her eyes making it tough to just remain quiet. He’d learned along the way that sometimes people just needed someone to listen to. Sometimes they needed a little advice.

  The problem with giving Hope advice was that he knew more than she thought he did. He knew the kind of man Dean was, the kind of sacrifices he’d made for her, even if she didn’t. But that was in the vault. And one thing he never did was interfere, even if he was tempted to.

  “It’s nothing,” he said. “Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who isn’t in your usual circle. So did Dean go?”

  She shook her head, her dark hair falling over her shoulders. “No
. I felt kind of bad about that. I don’t know what’s wrong with me sometimes. I don’t know when life got so difficult, you know? It’s like one minute you’re out there, living your dream, so…incredibly happy, and then the next, it’s over, and you wish so hard you could get it back.”

  He gripped the edge of the counter, wanting to tell her so badly what he suspected, what he’d witnessed the night her husband had died, when Dean had gotten shit-faced drunk in his bar and told Aiden the whole, devastating truth. He’d talked, poured his heart out, right there at Aiden’s counter. Aiden had dragged him home, and Dean had kept his distance since. Aiden knew he’d been embarrassed. But he’d never betray Dean’s confidence. It wasn’t his story to tell.

  He searched for the words that might give her comfort, even though he’d be revealing a little bit of himself at that same time. “I’m so sorry, Hope. But I know that there are better days out there for you and Sadie. I also know that sometimes it’s a hell of a lot harder to claim a new dream than just sit where you’re at.”

  She blinked back tears, and her chin trembled slightly. “It is hard. I…I don’t ever want to experience that kind of pain again. Sadie wants a kitten, and I don’t even want to let her have one because I don’t want to have to go through the loss of anything again. Sometimes I lie in bed at night and wonder who will be next. Me? My parents? And then I get terrified of leaving Sadie without any parents at all,” she said, choking on that last sentence.

  Aiden couldn’t help it. He’d always had a soft spot for Hope. He broke his own rules and rounded the corner of the bar and drew her into a hug. The bar was almost empty, so anyone there could see him easily, but he didn’t care. He knew he’d done the right thing when she grabbed onto him for dear life.

  Hope was one of those people who always had a brave face on, who always looked as though she had it together. But he knew. He knew when someone was hiding from life—when someone was close to falling apart.

  “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay. Sadie is watching you and learning from you, and she knows you’re strong,” he said, shocking himself with that last sentence. He wasn’t qualified to give parenting advice, and he didn’t want to come across as judgmental, but he wanted the best for Hope. He wanted her to notice the man who’d been in love with her for years.

  “You’re right. When did you get so wise?”

  “Ha. Far from wise. I just discovered I had a fifteen-year-old kid out there in the world, remember? I’ve also…well, I guess you heard, but I hurt Janie in the process, and she’s the last person in the world I’d want to hurt. And I don’t know how I’m going to make it up to her or give her what she needs.”

  Hope placed her elbow on the counter and rested her chin on her hand. “I’m no relationship expert, obviously, but I’ve gotten to know Janie pretty well. We all love her. She…opened up to us about everything. I don’t think she’s mad at you, but she is hurt by you.”

  He swallowed hard, hoping for the ache in his throat to lessen. “I know. I think that’s what kills me the most. I can’t give Janie what she wants. She deserves a better guy, a fresh start.”

  Hope winced. “Really? Because that’s not what I think she wants at all. I think she wants you and Will and her to be a family.”

  “I don’t know if that’s possible.”

  “I think somewhere along the way, Janie started believing that you loved what she did for you and your son. How she raised Will. That you are now eternally indebted to her and you’ve confused gratitude for love. Janie’s always had to prove herself through actions. Have you really told her what she wants to hear? Would you put everything on the line for her?”

  The reality of what Hope was saying came crashing down over him. He replayed their conversations…and she was right. He knew, without a doubt, that he loved Janie for who she was and not what she had done for him and Will. But she wouldn’t have known that. Their entire relationship started because of Will. She had helped Aiden become a dad, and he was grateful, and he always would be, but he’d never separated that from his love for her. At least not in her eyes.

  And he had just watched her walk out of here instead of going to help her, when she was obviously upset.

  She’d confided in him about how they were raised, their mother’s obsession with Maxi, and how Janie would never get a man because she wasn’t like Maxi…and then Maxi rolled in. He knew Janie wasn’t one for drama and fighting. He knew she was always trying to protect Will, so much that she’d be willing to hand over everything for him. But he also knew she had given up on him because she really didn’t believe in him.

  Hope glanced down at her phone and grimaced. “I gotta go. See you later, Aiden. I hope you can find a way to make this right.”

  He held her gaze before she turned to leave. “Thanks,” he called to her retreating figure. He served another customer at the other end of the bar, and when he turned around, Logan was sitting at his usual spot. Tension filled Aiden’s shoulders as he approached him.

  “Janie’s back home,” Logan said flatly.

  Aiden gritted his teeth. “That’s good. Thanks.”

  “She’s very easy to talk to.”

  “Great.”

  “We’ve talked about a lot of stuff.”

  Aiden splayed his hands on the counter, leaning forward. “What’s your damn point, Logan?”

  Logan seemed unfazed. “That you’re a moron.”

  Aiden tried to keep his temper in check.

  Logan’s lips twitched, and he leaned back casually in his chair, and Aiden resisted the temptation to just push him over. “I mean, she was looking into colleges out here. To find a way to be close to you. Like, what the hell, Aiden? You could have it all.”

  Everything inside Aiden stilled for a heartbeat. “What colleges?”

  “Oh. Huh. I thought she’d told you.”

  Aiden shook his head stiffly, reeling from this information. Hell, he’d screwed everything up. She was looking at staying, and he was pushing her away. “No. Why’d she tell you?”

  “It must be because we’re pretty close and she felt she could confide in me,” Logan said, that dumb smile back on his face. Aiden knew he was full of shit now, so Logan’s attempts at pissing him off weren’t working.

  “Also, I walked her up to the porch, and suddenly all the lights went on and your kid was standing there, staring me down.”

  Aiden bit back a grin, some of the tension in his shoulders replaced with pride. He also liked that Will gave Logan a hard time. “He has a tendency to look out for Janie.”

  Logan leaned forward slightly, his eyes growing serious. “He’s a good kid. Just like you’re a good guy. A good dad. And you shouldn’t let your dad ruin any more for you than he already has. Find a way to fix this with Janie.”

  His heart slammed against his ribs as he processed what Logan was saying. “Can I get you a drink?” he asked, needing a distraction from his friend’s loaded comment.

  “No. I just want you to do the right thing. For all three of you; you deserve it. A family. So don’t be an idiot and throw it all away.”

  Aiden held Logan’s gaze, years and words and truth hanging there between them. Logan knew him better than he’d thought.

  And Aiden knew exactly what he needed to do to prove to Janie that she and Will were his whole world.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Janie stared at Will across the breakfast table. It was still dark out; the sun wasn’t up yet. He was on his third bowl of cereal and hadn’t said more than a mumbled greeting when he’d walked in. She sipped her coffee, searching for the right words. Maxi had taken off at the crack of dawn, and now they’d be leaving in a few hours.

  She knew he felt the tension around the house. She was avoiding Aiden more than she avoided her landlady when she was late on rent. But part of being a grownup was dealing with uncomfortable situations, like this
one. She’d take her discomfort over Will’s pain any day.

  She picked up her mug and tried to appear casual. “I’m glad it’s Sunday. I’m sure your mom will call soon.”

  “Don’t care,” he managed to garble through a mouthful of food.

  She crossed one leg over the other and took a sip of coffee, her heart aching for him. More coffee would be needed depending on how this conversation went. “I know we haven’t really talked about your mom leaving and how that makes you feel. But you know I’m here for you, when you’re ready to talk. We’ve got a solid ten hours of car conversation ahead of us. Or if you want to talk to Aiden about it instead, that’s okay, too.”

  Will put his spoon down and kept his eyes on the bowl. “Why don’t you talk to Aiden about it?’

  Janie’s stomach dropped. “What do you mean?”

  He raised his head to meet her gaze, his eyes flashing. “Why are you not talking to Aiden?”

  She placed her mug on the table and turned to face him completely. “I’m talking to Aiden, honey.”

  “Not like before. I thought you…liked him.”

  “I thought that bothered you.”

  He shrugged. “What do I know?”

  She almost laughed. “You know a lot. But things are complicated. We have a life back home, and you have to finish school, and you hardly know him. We can’t just move in here. You’ve never said you’d be okay with that.”

  “Aunt Janie, if you’re with me, I’m okay with anywhere.”

  Tears filled her eyes, and she reached across the table to hug him quickly. “I love you and thank you for saying that. All I want is for you to be happy.”

  “I know. Mom woke me up this morning, and I feel kind of okay with everything. She told me she loved me and she believed in me and all that kind of stuff. And then she said she was glad I have you and Aiden—that you guys would give me a better life than she ever could. And then she left.”

  It took Janie a moment to gather her thoughts. That was not at all what she expected to hear. “I’m glad, honey. I’m glad she spoke to you. I hope you know how much Aiden and I love you.”

 

‹ Prev