She gives me a secret smile. “You want the man, not just the Dom?”
Heat slams through me. “Yes.”
“Nothing wrong with that.”
“Until I lose my job.”
“I know you’re scared of that. I understand that, really. But in my experience fears are way worse when they're unspoken. If you want to talk it out, I'm a decent listener.”
Fear. Yes, I'm riddled with fear.
She doesn't ask again. I could leave it. Turn the conversation to eating local and women's rights. Or spa appointments and junky TV. Ellie will let me lead the topic wherever I want.
But most of all, I want to know why her eyes are bright, not shrouded in worry. “Have you thought about the impact on your own career, because of your relationship?”
She nods. “I sure have.”
“And? You seem so Zen about this.”
“Zen…yeah, maybe that’s a good way to describe it. One of the things that I research is the way that women bend and flow in their career paths, so much more so than men. It’s actually a real strength of women. How many men do you know that lose their jobs in their forties or early fifties and then it’s just game over? Their entire identity has been tied up in that particular role for decades and they can’t think of themselves outside of it.”
“God, you’re describing me.”
She shakes her head. “I’m really not. Because you’ve got coping skills you don’t even know you’ve got. If you were to lose your job, you’d bounce back so hard. You’d make them regret firing you.”
Panic closes around my throat. My job is everything.
She leans over the table and covers my hand with hers. “Think about it this way. What would you advise yourself if you were a client?”
That’s easy. “Don't pick up strange men staying at the Chateau Laurier.”
Ellie laughs. “Good point.” Then she gives me a weird look. “Wait, that's when you met Max? When he was staying at the Chateau Laurier? I knew you met there, but I didn’t realize…it was in the summer?”
My cheeks heat up. “Yes.” The answer catches in my throat, because oh my God, I see where she’s going. Hope leaps inside me. “Before he hired my firm.”
Triumph ripples over her face. “I knew it.” She quickly schools her features. “Which is only relevant because then you should have an out, right?”
I nod. “Most firms would have a process to declare the conflict of interest without repercussions.” My voice cracks. I hadn’t thought about it like that.
“Does yours not?”
“No.”
“And you fear for your job?”
“Yes.”
“So again, counsellor, I’d ask you…what you would advise a client?”
29
Max
Our fourth Friday together begins as the first one did. Inspection, then a flogging. The protocol flows smoothly now, and we share secret smiles, too. As soon as she comes downstairs in the heels I’d set out—and nothing else—heat starts sizzling in my veins, and I shift into Dom mode without any conscious scripting.
I never knew I needed some sass mixed in with the submission. It’s not brattiness, either. It’s nothing that needs to be corrected.
It’s just fun. A little nod at our shared fantasies, our mutual kink, and how it’s a little weird.
But a lot hot.
I’ve had some good kink over the years. Learned what I liked, what I didn’t, and found a way to scratch that itch on a semi-regular basis without risking too much.
I’ve never had anything like this with Violet. Each night surpassing the last. Each new idea twisting, blooming into more than I could have imagined.
But tonight I’m not getting all of that.
Tonight feels almost ordinary. I say almost, because it’s Violet. She’s spectacular even when distracted.
I abandon my plans to train her ass further. First I need her fully present in this moment, all her attention on me, so I get her to rise. Once she’s standing in front of me, I drive my fingers into her hair, gathering it in my fist behind her head.
Her eyes flare wide and her breathing changes. Yes, kitten. I see you.
“Where are we at?”
“Green,” she says softly.
“Nothing else matters tonight. Nothing else exists beyond these walls. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Max.” More soft words. She’s so biddable.
I give her a hard smile. “What do you need tonight?”
“To please you.”
It’s a good line. A standard one. I’ll even admit it makes me hard. But it’s not what I want to hear. I shake my head. “Do you need subspace? Do you need pain? Both? Do you—”
“I want to feel your marks all over me,” she says quickly, and I forgive the interruption because it’s exactly what I need to know. But then I tug her hair, hard, because she wouldn’t want me to forgive anything.
And she’s shown me over and over again she doesn’t want me to hold back.
“Don’t interrupt me, kitten.”
“I’m sorry.” Her nipples tighten as I raise my hand, encouraging her up onto her toes, to the full extension of her body and then a fraction more. “I was nervous, that’s all. It came to me and I wanted to be honest.”
I did tell her that honesty would be rewarded. “You’re lucky I like your answer.” I flick my fingernail against her nipple. “Back up.”
Her gaze doesn’t leave my face as she takes a step backwards, trusting that I’ll put here where I want her.
And tonight, that’s on the cross.
Mine is an oversized X against the wall. A Saint Andrew’s Cross, heavy hardwood with black iron anchor points at each end. I wait until we’re right in front of it to spin her around.
She inhales sharply, then smiles. I can feel it rolling through her body, her shoulders lifting along with the corners of her lush lips. I move around her, taking in the look on her face as I silently grab the rope that I need. Black to match the iron rings. Black to stand out from her skin.
Black to match the mood I want to sink into, but I’m struggling a bit with that tonight.
We both are. I return to the thought that something’s on Violet’s mind. She’s more present than just going through the motions, but there’s noise buzzing somewhere in the back of her mind.
Maybe work. I know a few things about that. And that’s off-limits for us to discuss.
But what if it’s something else?
And why do I care? She’s here, ready and willing to submit to a whole host of pain I want to inflict on her tonight. She’ll get wet, I’ll get hard, and I’ll fuck her while she’s still tied to the cross.
And all of that is going to happen. I lash her left wrist to the cross.
But there’s something else going on… I lash her right wrist as well. Good and tight.
I step back and look at her.
Bare to my gaze, all creamy skin and endless curves. Her hair is long and loose. That won’t do, not for what I’ve got planned. I step closer again and sweep it over her shoulder, around to the front.
I kiss the back of her neck, pressing hard with my mouth. Hard enough to push her forward and into the cross. “Spread your legs,” I whisper, lazily slapping her ass.
She steps wider, and I think about tying her ankles down as well, but it might be better for tonight’s purposes if she has to hold still. If she has to hold that concentration and be good for me.
“Perfect.” I give a decisive nod she can’t see and spin on my heel, my plan now clear in front of me. I cross to the toy cabinet and retrieve two floggers and a paddle.
When I return, I touch her hip, then smooth my hand down her back before squeezing the fleshiest curve of her bottom.
She hisses as she sucks in a breath.
“Ready?”
“Yes…” she breathes, relaxing forward.
That won’t last long.
I eyeball the flogger in my hand and my distanc
e from her. A quick snap of my wrist brings the falls down on her mid-back.
She jerks in surprise. That didn’t hurt, I’m just testing my distance, but she was expecting it on her ass.
We’ll get there.
Again I let the falls thud against her back on the same spot. Three more times, until it’s lovely and rosy. Then I shift my feet and retarget. We’re going to take this nice and slow, until the endorphins chase all her worries away.
This isn’t what I’d planned. I was going to get out the clothespins and make her squirm and whimper and plead for release. And once she’s warmed up, we might get there.
But tonight she—and maybe we—need something else. Kink not for sex’s sake, but for comfort. Connection.
I’m still going to rail her so hard she screams.
I’m no prince.
But I fucking missed her this week. And a game isn’t how I want to reconnect. Some people decompress from a long week with a glass of wine and a massage.
Others need to hit things. Be hit. This flogging is as close as we get to being a normal couple.
Another shift, and I’m finally flogging her ass. Where I’d have started if this was just about sex, but I’m glad I waited because she’s swaying with me now, loose and ready for whatever I want to give her. My next stroke is sharper, landing closer to the tips. A bite of pain now that she’s humming along on those endorphins.
My brain’s shifting, too. Away from concerned boyfriend. With each strike, heat travels up my arm and coils in my belly.
She jerks up, then rolls back, presenting her bottom for more. Yes.
I switch to the next flogger, testing the heavier falls against my hand first before turning their thuddy impact on her ass. Up her back.
And then I twirl the paddle in the air.
Fuck yes.
It took…
I glance at the clock.
It took an hour, but we’re rocking and rolling. She’s going to be sore tomorrow. I’ll rub arnica into her bruises. Fold her over pillows, carefully, and fuck her nice and slow, looking at those marks.
And I’ll remember how good it felt to give them to her. To ease her out of the work week and into the weekend, our weekend.
Nobody told me kink could be this. Could mean something more than that primal urge to possess, command, control.
I sheath myself in a condom, then pull her hips up and back, yanking her onto her toes.
She’s so malleable for me. And she takes my cock like she was made for it, her tight, wet channel a perfect fit. I rock my thumb over my back hole as I find a rhythm I like. Short, hard thrusts that rub the head of dick against the walls of her cunt. I love how they clench every time I threaten to invade her ass.
Her breathing is starting to get ragged and shallow, and I smack her hip. “Deep breaths, kitten. No passing out on me.”
“Oooh…” she moans.
“Want me to fuck your ass tonight?”
“No…”
I laugh. “So I should.”
“Maybe. No. Oh, God.”
“Mmm.” I rub another circle with my thumb, loving how her body responds inside and out to the intrusion. “No. Not tonight. I want to prep you properly the first time. Because I’m a nice man.”
“You’re not.”
I spank the hot pink flesh of her bottom. “Pardon me?”
“You’re the nicest.” She’s all breathy now, and inside she’s clenching and unclenching in a regular pattern. She’s getting close, and I want her to milk me hard.
“And?”
“So…gentle.”
I slam into her, making her cry out. “And?”
“Max!”
“Yes?” I press firmly with my thumb, just the flat of it, just enough to make her think I’m entering her without lube.
This time her cry is more of a scream and she convulses around my cock. I push deeper into her and close my eyes, giving myself over to the feel of her cunt and her ass, all those little muscles protesting what I’m doing to her body.
Take it, I think. Take what I give you, my kitten. Take what I make you body do, even as you scream.
And right on cue, she sobs, her body slumping. I follow her forward, my balls drawing tight as I pin her to the cross and pump faster into her used and abused body, my own climax hard and fast.
She’s still trembling in bliss as I ease out of her and dispose of the condom.
I rub her back as she shudders against the cross. “That’s better.”
She laughs weakly. “You think?”
I kiss her shoulder. “I know.”
I wait until her aftershocks stop, then I release her arms and rub the marks on her wrists.
Lifting her into my arms, I carry her to the sofa and cover us both with a blanket.
“Max?” she whispers.
“Yes, kitten.”
“That was nice.”
I grin. Indeed it was.
She stretches, then sighs and relaxes against me again.
“Would you like more chocolate?”
She nods. “Mmm.”
“How about a bath?”
“Maybe.” She nuzzles closer. “I wanted to discuss something with you, actually.”
“Right now?”
“As good a time as any.”
“Okay.”
“I brought our contract with me tonight. I was thinking it might be time for us to renegotiate,” she says softly.
I frown. “You’re not happy?”
“I’m so happy.” She hesitates. “But I saw Ellie on Wednesday, and we talked. I realized…I don’t want you to be a secret.”
It takes me a second to process that, because I wasn’t sure she was there yet, but I’m glad. I smile and squeeze my arms around her. “Well, that’s good. I’m pleased, kitten.”
She smiles back, proud of herself. As she should be. It takes a lot of courage to say something like that, especially after an exhausting scene and I tell her as much.
She just shrugs, because she doesn’t take praise well. I ignore that for now because she’s got more she wants to say. “I’m not going to rush into announcing anything at work until we discuss it, but…I want more. Eventually. And I don’t know if that’s…”
I nod. “I want more, too. Starting with introducing you as mine at the Christmas party.”
30
Violet
The next Saturday, Max is so ready for his party he’s almost bouncing off the walls. He'd told me his friend, Corinne, came in a few days ago and decorated the play room with a touch of Christmas kinky—and he wasn't kidding.
The walls are lined with garlands made of red and green handcuffs wrapped in white twinkly lights.
After piecing together a few different things he said, I realized Corinne must have been the woman I saw him with at the farmer's market. I make myself get over the irrational stab of jealousy. He's also told me she came with Lachlan to assemble furniture, and she's bringing someone tonight.
There's a buffet table along the wall on the far side of the room where platters of finger foods are laid out along with an assortment of festive non-alcoholic beverages. We brought the catered food downstairs ourselves. No way to explain the dungeon to casual wait staff.
“Are you ready?” Max asks me as it nears time for guests to start arriving.
Not even a little bit. My gut is roiling and I’ve changed my mind so many times in the last half hour alone.
He tips my chin up. “Upstairs is off-limits to everyone, so if at any point it gets to be too much for you, just say the word and I’ll spirit you away. People will too be busy doing their own thing to notice, anyway.”
Knowing I have an out makes me feel a bit better. I trust Max to keep me safe.
I nod and he gives me one of those soul-melting kisses of his. The ones that make my toes curl and my lower belly quiver.
Our kiss is interrupted by a knock. Max takes my hand and leads me through the basement to the exterior entrance where his guests w
ill come in. There's a foyer and everything. He's really done a great job of turning this space into his very own sex club, without having to bring people in through his private home.
He swings the door open to reveal his first guest, a serious-looking mountain of a man, tall and built, with a few days of stubble. His near-beard is almost as sexy as Max’s.
Max greets him warmly. “Lachlan, I’d like you to meet Violet.”
With a lopsided grin and twinkling grey-blue eyes, Lachlan gives me a quick up and down as he holds out his hand.
“Nice to meet you, Violet.”
“You too,” I say while shaking his warm hand with my cold clammy one. Even though Max has prepped me on who everyone is, I’m not sure I can handle this. Deep in my heart, I’m positive this man knows every little secret about my life. And now he’s going to see me vulnerable.
Max kisses my temple and whispers, “No pressure, kitten. We can go upstairs right now if that’s what you need.”
I am so tempted, but this is Max’s Christmas party—his first party in his new house—and I’m determined to not put a damper on it.
“Anything I need to be aware of?” Lachlan asks, turning his attention back to Max.
“No, last count had us at twelve and I don’t anticipate any heavy play…wait, maybe Oliver might. Depends on whether he’s topping or bottoming. Regardless, you should be able to find some time to play yourself.”
Lachlan raises an eyebrow, but there’s another knock, and Max leads me with him to greet his guests before Lachlan gets a chance to respond.
Next is Oliver and his plus one. I’m feeling off-balance and I don’t quite catch his name. Maybe Max will take me to play soon and I can fly off to that place where Max is the only name I need to know.
Sasha and Beth arrive shortly afterwards. “Glad you both could come,” Max says with a mischievous grin for Beth. Even if I hadn’t been given a heads-up by Ellie, I’d have known just from his expression and what he’d said to Lachlan that he’s busy meddling. “Violet, have you met Beth?”
I shake my head and smile at the women. “No, it's lovely to finally meet you.” I beam at Sasha, relieved to see a friendly face. "And it's great to see you, Sasha. I'm glad you could come with Beth."
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