by Alice Ward
By six, I was at the top of Caitlyn’s street, ready to make my move. I had also bought a portable AV speaker system, which I plugged into the car’s cigarette port. Small but very loud, I cranked them up as high as they would go. I was pretty sure I’d blast them out, but who cared, I could afford a thousand speakers. Getting Caitlyn to at least talk to me was worth all the money in the world.
I had to admit, I was extremely nervous, but I was ready for this. I got my microphone, did a vocal warm up — even though it was useless — and waved Robert on. He drove slowly down Caitlyn’s street with me standing in the backseat of the convertible, microphone in hand, Abba’s “Take a Chance on Me” blasting at ear-shattering decibels as I sang along.
The sleepy little boulevard came alive with curiosity, and a fair bit of annoyance as most of the elderly people came out onto their porches and flipped me off.
Little kids came out and cheered us on as I rode down the street singing my best, which was still remarkably bad. We passed Caitlyn’s house, and there was nothing. My heart sank. Was she even home? Her beater car was there, and I could see a figure in the window. It didn’t look like Caitlyn, maybe Tammy? Oh god, her whole posse was most likely there. Her friends usually flocked to her whenever she was in need. I looked at Robert, defeated.
“Now what?” I was near tears.
He stopped the car. “Are you holding on tightly back there? I don’t want accidental manslaughter on my record.”
“What are you proposing?” I was excited and just a little bit nervous.
“I say we keep at this and go around the block until she comes out of her house,” he suggested.
“Same song over and over?”
He nodded and I nodded back. She would have to come out of her house, to shut me up if anything.
“I’m in, let’s do it!” I geared up for the song again, preparing to belt it out as many times as it took.
Which apparently was six. Six damn times of making a total ass of myself for Caitlyn, Tammy, and Ricky to open the door.
Caitlyn tried to look unaffected but I could tell she was a little bit impressed. Robert stopped, and I picked up an enormous bouquet of flowers, bigger than any wedding, funeral, or Quinceañera had ever seen. Robert then slowly drove into Caitlyn’s driveway, and I took up the mic again.
“Will you take a chance on me? Even if I’m not perfect and I really fucked things up?” By this point, the entire neighborhood was out of their houses and watching us. And dammit, phone cameras were rolling too. Looked like the entire world would get to witness my lovestruck capitulation.
Caitlyn remained serious. “We need to talk,”
It was better than a “no.” There were some cheers from around the block as I got out of the car and followed Caitlyn into the house with flowers in hand. She hadn’t accepted the flowers and looked sad when she turned to face me in the living room, which was warm and familiar. Just being there crushed my heart. Tammy and Ricky sat on either side of her, and I sat in the seat across from them. They were my judge and jury.
“I don’t think I even want to know what happened, KP. I saw what I saw. I tried to call you and let you know I was coming.” Her eyes teared up. “The school had moved up my registration date, so I thought I would stop by since—”
“You shouldn’t have to explain yourself,” Tammy said. If looks could kill, her face would have already murdered me.
I faced them with all the honesty and sincerity I had in me.
“Rachel was a woman I’d been sleeping with when I met you. She wasn’t the only woman I’d been sleeping with, but she was the one I saw regularly. When I first met you, Caitlyn, I had hoped to have a similar kind of arrangement with you.”
“Get out!” Tammy stood up and came at me.
I stood to meet her, “Just, please, hear me out.”
This was enough for Tammy to sit down, but my death was still probably imminent.
I took a long breath. “When you didn’t take me up on my offer, I made a bet with her that I would remain celibate until I could…” I trailed off, not needing to say it.
Caitlyn had the same catatonic stare she wore when her grandmother died.
Tammy pointed a finger at me, and I could tell she wished it was a gun. “Well, congratulations, you won. Now leave, you motherfuckering piece of shit scum of the Earth.”
She was pissing me off. “Feel better?” I asked, unable or unwilling to keep the snideness out of the tone.
“Not as good as I’ll feel when we get a restraining order on your ass,” she quietly threatened.
I was getting sidetracked, so I turned back to Caitlyn. “When you finally let me into your world, I didn’t even know how to feel human emotions. But over the course of knowing you, I fell in love with you.”
God, now it was my turn to start crying. I had to get my shit in order. I couldn’t be kicked out of her house weeping like an idiot.
Tammy snorted. “You sure got a shit way of showing it.”
Ricky just held Caitlyn, consoling her, in the place I should have been.
“I am in love with you. You are the only woman I ever want to be with. I told Rachel that, and she was testing me. That’s what you saw. A moment earlier, you would have seen me trying to kick her out. A moment later, you would have seen me trying to kick her out. What you saw was the worst possible moment of my fight against her, and I’m sorry for that. But you have to know that my mind never wavered. I was kicking her out when you walked in. You can believe me or don’t, it’s up to you, but I love you, and I can’t see a world worth living without you in it.”
I was out of breath, my pounding heart creating a roaring noise in my ears.
I’d said what needed saying. The rest was up to her.
When she finally looked at me, it was over. All the emotion I’d bottled up my entire life began pouring from my eyes. I sobbed like a child. Then she was there, my beautiful Caitlyn, her arms around me. “I forgive you,” she whispered as she held me in her arms.
Then another set of hands were on me. I looked up to find Tammy crying too. “Do it again and I’ll give you something to cry about.” But the threat had no head as she stroked my arm in a comforting gesture.
By the time I stopped crying, Caitlyn had taken the bouquet from my arms and had wiggled into my lap. Ricky invited us over to Ricky and Rafael’s house for dinner, then both friends left us alone.
Caitlyn made love to me on the chair, and when I came, I called out her name, declaring my love over and over again. As I held her afterward, I asked for a favor. “Can we take a picture of us with these flowers to send to Wenton?”
It was part of the hunt.
“Are you sure this is it, KP? We would hate to disappoint him.”
She was being reasonable, but I hated it because it only came out when honesty was truly difficult. I was ready.
“My last hunt was to fall in love, Caitlyn. I’ve done it, and I want him to know you’re the one.”
And there it was.
We took a selfie with the flowers and sent him a text with our picture: LOVE = Flowers.
I then looked through my phone for the picture I took with Caitlyn of the heart I painted on her graffiti gift project and sent it to him as well. LOVE = Names on a Tree (paper).
I usually heard right back from him, so I was surprised when he didn’t respond immediately.
Later over dinner with her friends, the worry grew. It wasn’t that late, and he was usually a night owl. I called rather than texted, but he didn’t answer the phone. Something inside of me, something visceral, knew something was wrong. I called the facility.
After speaking to the receptionist, I was put on hold a long time. My heart started racing. This was also strange. The facility was always so hot for our money that we were treated like royalty. They would have never had me wait for anything, let alone for someone to come to the phone. Finally, his doctor picked up.
“Mr. Preston. We were just about to call you. We’
ve been attending your brother. It seems Wenton has had a heart attack. He’s in the hospital and we have him stabilized, but…”
The phone dropped from my numb hands. Caitlyn picked it up and got the details then called Robert to pick us up. We made it in thirteen minutes, a world record. I ran inside, but they wouldn’t let me see him.
“He needs to rest, and we have to monitor his condition. We’ll let you know when you can see him. I suggest you go to his cottage and wait for our call,” the doctor instructed calmly.
“I want to see him,” I shouted.
“Seeing you upset won’t help him. We have him stabilized, and he’s fine for the moment. Please take some time to calm down, and we’ll call you as soon as we think he’s ready for visitors.”
“He’s my fucking brother! I’m not a fucking visitor!”
Caitlyn grabbed my arm and pulled me in the direction of the waiting area. “We’ll be in here when you have news.”
She stayed with me all night, stroked my head, and spoke in soft, comforting tones. Sometime around seven in the morning, they let us see Wenton. We were both stiff and tired but happy to be able to finally see him. He was in good spirits but looked weaker and frailer than I’d ever seen him. His eyes were glazed over and distant, and the greenish pallor of his skin had deepened a shade. I knew, as soon as I saw him, that I was losing him.
“Hey there, Drama King, what’s this nonsense?”
The smile was so very weak, but it appeared. “How else could I get you out here on a weekday?”
“You could have called.”
I was serious. If he wanted me, he should have known he could call.
“They took my phone,” Wenton said with deep sadness.
“So, you didn’t see the pictures I sent you?” I was trying to be light and happy, no need to dwell on the obvious.
“Nope.”
“I did it, bro. I’m almost done with the last hunt. I have a picture with my initials in a tree. Well, sort of a tree. Also got a picture with flowers. All we need is a picnic, a kiss, and um…a lovestruck gaze, then I’m through.”
“Great. The lucky woman better be Caitlyn.”
She took his hand. “I am.”
“Well, let’s go on that picnic,” Wenton whispered, already tired from talking too much.
I lost a little of my enthusiasm at that point. They’d never let him out for a picnic.
Wenton apparently felt otherwise because he buzzed the nurse, who he obviously had some sort of flirting relationship with, because he went into mode when she arrived.
“Amelia,” he batted his eyes, “can I go to the lake?”
Amelia was a heavyset, kindly looking woman in her fifties. She looked like an angel until she said the following words, “Doc won’t allow it.”
“Please, just for two minutes to see the water? You don’t have to tell the doc, just sign the little paper that says I can. I’m not going off property, just to see the water.”
She patted his hand. “Sorry, Wenton, I can’t do it. Your heart isn’t feeling too well today, I won’t be able to get the approval,” she said sadly.
“Okay, can I get a wheelchair to take a spin around the floor then?” Wenton gave his best puppy dog grin.
“I might be able to authorize that, just give me a minute,” she said as she walked out.
“Okay, here’s our chance.” I recognized Wenton’s sneaky mode. “Go get a chair from the nurses’ station. Amelia has to go find the doctor to authorize my wheelchair. We just have enough time.” Wenton’s hopeful smile broke my heart.
“Buddy, I can’t take you out of here, you’ll die.”
He squeezed my hand. “You only live once.”
“Well, yeah, but let’s keep you around for a while longer.”
To my horror, tears appeared in his eyes. “I don’t want to be here awhile longer, I want to see the lake. Please… I’ll never see it again.”
“I’ll do it,” Caitlyn volunteered, surprising the shit out of me. “You’re right, you only live once.”
Before I could open my mouth, she was out the door and stealing a wheelchair. The funny thing was, with Amelia gone, nobody even questioned it. She wheeled it close to the bed. “Step one is a success.”
I shrugged and went for it. Wenton’s electrodes were wireless, so I didn’t have that problem to deal with. I frowned at how light he was when I lifted him from the bed and sat him in the chair. Checking to see if the coast was clear, we zipped down the hallway, not breathing until we were out the door.
“Robert is bringing the convertible around,” Caitlyn said, her eyes shining.
“Good idea.”
We most likely would be arrested for what we were doing, but I had a great lawyer and loads of money. I could handle the heat. We were going to bust Wenton out of here for one last day in the sun. Robert brought the convertible while Caitlyn strolled Wenton out the service entrance unnoticed. As soon as we got Wenton in the convertible and the wheelchair stashed in the trunk, he was beyond thrilled and squealing with joy.
“Shhh, we don’t want to get caught,” I cautioned as Robert backed out of the driveway.
People had begun to take notice, but we ignored them as Robert sped away. As soon as we were clear of the facility, I turned up the tunes, playing all of Wenton’s favorites. He was humming Guns N’ Roses “Sweet Child of Mine” as we rode off into the distance. He made me sad that he couldn’t sing it at the top of his lungs like normal.
Robert drove us to the lake where Wenton and I grew up. It wasn’t far from the facility so we could be back in under fifteen minutes if necessary.
It had been years since we were on the shores that were the symbol of our childhood. I carried Wenton to the water’s edge and placed his feet in the water. Robert had made some calls and left to quickly pick us up a picnic with food, dishes, a checkered blanket, the works. I had him get some towels and a change of clothes too should we decide we wanted to get wet.
It would be a little while before he got back, so we just watched the calm, cool water together. Of course, it was very metaphoric because we knew we were on the edge of a great change in all of our lives. The lake was vast, a large and beautiful body of water. It made the little lake at Wenton’s facility look like a puddle. Wenton and I had looked out at that view so many times in our lives, planning our future. It was so strange to be in a place where the future was here already. In fact, for Wenton, it was almost the end. I had no capacity to deal with the emotions that were bubbling around inside me, so rather than revert to sex, I did the next best thing, laughter.
“Wenton? Do you remember when we went fishing with Grandpa Preston?” I knew this story was one of Wenton’s major triumphs. I wanted Caitlyn to hear it from Wenton himself.
“Yes. I hated fishing,” he pouted.
“You told Grandpa you didn’t want to go because you wanted the fish to stay in the lake.”
“I didn’t want them to die, and I hated to eat fish. The bones poked my mouth,” he remembered with distaste.
“Yeah, and what did you do?”
“Well, you and he caught a lot of fish.”
“I think we caught twelve.” We had a banner fishing day, I recalled.
“I was just hanging over the boat, putting my hands in the water.” Wenton laughed at his devilishness.
I laughed. “Yes, those little hands were under the water, quietly unstringing and releasing each one.”
“Grandpa was like, ‘Where are all the dead fish coming from?’ Cause some of them already died.” Wenton did his best impersonation of our stuffy grandfather, and I nearly fell over laughing.
It was our grandfather’s one and only fishing trip with us. He was a sports fisherman who loved to compete in local fishing events and prided himself on his expert skills. He had invited a group of people over for a fish fry with freshly caught fish, but since Wenton released them all, he had to get store bought. I don’t think his reputation survived that incident.
> “And we made a deal that we would lie and say Grandpa didn’t catch any.” I was so proud of that day.
“And we never told anyone ever,” Wenton confessed. He looked at Caitlyn. “Until now.”
“Our mom was so pissed because she knew something was up, but we stood together, and Grandpa nearly killed us,” I added.
“Then there was that time we stole all of cousin Patty’s undies from the dryer,” Wenton said.
My nostrils flared. “Oh yeah, she was visiting us from Maine, and she was bothering you, right?”
“She got mad at me because I got permanent ink on her purse.” Wenton looked a bit guilty about this one.
“You played connect the dots with the Louis Vuitton symbols with a sharpie,” I reminded him.
He frowned, looking angry now. “And she called the police. They got mad, but I didn’t go to jail.”
“So, you stole all her underwear out of the dryer on the day she was leaving. That was brilliant because she had our maid wash all her clothes since she was going home for summer break after our house. You left her like one pair of dirties.”
“Again…we knew nothing,” he said, his fingers coming up to his lips to lock them up.
Caitlyn slapped her thigh. “You guys were terrible.”
“We weren’t the only ones,” I defended my brother. “People didn’t always get us, they were so distant and judgmental, we were better off without them. Right, Wenton?”
But Wenton didn’t answer. He was starting to show some signs of fatigue, his breathing had become shallow, and his eyes rolled in his head.
“Wenton!” I yelled.
To my enormous relief, he snapped out of it and came back to us. I knew we had precious little time left.
“Maybe it’s time for us to go back, buddy.” I wasn’t ready to take him back, but he seemed to be fading.
Robert screeched to a halt and began unloading the car. Along with the requested items, he brought collapsible camping chairs and a table. I was seriously impressed with all he was able to wrangle in such a short time. Another big bonus was in order.
“Wow, you’re amazing,” I said.