The Playboy

by Alice Ward

  Sean sighed and rolled his eyes. He shrugged the jacket off his shoulders and tossed it to the side. The photographer’s assistant caught it and jumped back out of the frame. I looked down at the floor, focusing intently on my shoes.

  It wasn’t long before my eyes traveled back to Sean. Now, not only were his chest and abs on full display, but his biceps were flexed just enough to seem natural. He had the kind of body most men dreamed of. I could tell he worked out regularly, but he wasn’t obsessive about it. He was built in a sexy, effortless way. I felt my mouth go dry as I watched him pose over and over again.

  My entire body was on fire, and I felt completely out of control. I worried that everyone would know what I was thinking. I looked away again, telling myself not to look up until the shoot was completely over.

  ***

  “That was torture,” Sean said when the photoshoot ended. He walked over to me with slumped shoulders. He didn’t stop until he made it to the changing tent. He disappeared inside for a few minutes. When he reemerged, he was fully dressed in his own clothes. I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn’t know if I could talk to him while he was shirtless.

  “It wasn’t that bad,” I said lightly.

  “For you,” Sean argued. “You weren’t the one half naked up there.”

  “I should have warned you about that,” I apologized. “I honestly didn’t think about it until this morning.”

  “It was your idea?” Sean asked.

  “Well,” I said weakly. “Yeah? At least, the shirtless part was. It’s the best way to play to our female demographic. Trust me, they’ll love it.”

  “If you say so,” Sean shrugged. “Anything for the company, right?”

  “Say that with a little more oomph next time,” I teased.

  “I’ll do my job, Tara,” he said. “but you’ll get absolutely no oomph out of me.”

  I laughed and looked down at my feet. I shifted my weight from side to side, trying to think of something to say. I thought about going over his schedule for the following week, but we’d already done that.

  “So, listen,” Sean said, breaking the silence. I looked up at him quickly. “Tomorrow is Paisley’s first official day of summer.”

  “Yeah?” I asked.

  “She’s been out of school for a few weeks, but she’s been going to swim camp every day since,” Sean explained. “I really want to start the summer off on a good note, you know? With something fun.”

  “Sure,” I nodded. “That’s a great idea.”

  “The problem is,” he said. “I have no idea what to do with her. I mean, she’s eight years old. I have no idea what eight-year-old girls like to do for fun.”

  “What does she like?” I asked. “What is she interested in?”

  “I don’t know,” Sean admitted. “I know she loves to swim and that she’s really into art, but that’s about it.”

  “Well, maybe you could take her to a water park or something?” I suggested.

  “Actually,” he said slowly. “I was hoping you might come with us? I don’t know where yet, but I could really use your help.”

  “My help?” I asked breathlessly.

  “Yeah,” he said. I could feel his excitement growing. “Paisley really likes you. I think she would have more fun if you were there.”

  I paused, not sure what to say. Sean looked at me with expectant eyes and a slight smile. I could tell how badly he wanted me to say yes, but I couldn’t get Zach’s threat out of my head. If he found out I was spending time with Sean away from work, I didn’t even want to think about what he might do.

  Still, Sean’s words tugged at my heart. Paisley was adorable, and I enjoyed talking to her that day. When she was sick, I really felt like I helped make her feel better. If Sean said she liked me, I believed him. I wanted to spend time with her again. And with Sean.

  “Only if you’re free,” Sean added suddenly. “I mean, I know it’s short notice. If you have plans already, it’s okay.”

  “I don’t think I can,” I said softly. “It’s just, mixing my work life with my social life isn’t something I usually do.”

  “Is that what you’re worried about?” Sean chuckled.

  “Yes,” I admitted.

  “Well, you shouldn’t,” Sean said. “I promise it’ll be a lowkey day. You would just be helping me out with my daughter. I’m new at this whole dad thing, and you were so great with her the other day. I know she would love it if you came.”

  Sean’s persistence was wearing me down. I knew I couldn’t continue to say no. More than that, I didn’t want to say no.

  “Okay,” I said with a reluctant smile. “Sure, why not?”

  “Really?” Sean asked, smiling brightly. “Thank you! That’s amazing. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

  “I’m sure it will.” I nodded.

  Sean and I planned out the details and said goodbye. I watched him as he left the showroom and disappeared into the parking lot. It was almost time for me to go home, so I went upstairs to grab my things. When I made it back downstairs, my mind was racing. What had I just done?

  I climbed behind the wheel of my car and turned on the ignition. The air conditioning blasted against my face, and I shook my head slightly. I felt like I was living inside a dream. Nothing felt real. Not the car around me. Not the office building in front of me. And definitely not my plans with Sean.

  I pulled out of the parking lot, cursing my decision. I felt certain I just signed the death sentence on my career. Part of me regretted it, but a bigger part of me couldn’t wait to see Sean and Paisley again.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Sean

  Paisley’s summer had officially begun and still, I had no idea what to do. I wanted her to enjoy herself, and I wanted to show her that life with me could be fun. Tara’s suggestion of going to a waterpark seemed like a good idea, but I wanted to go somewhere we could talk. I couldn’t imagine having a conversation in the middle of a kid-filled, water covered theme park.

  All night Friday and all morning Saturday, I tried to think of a plan. I came up with different ideas that I immediately dismissed. Nothing seemed good enough for either Paisley or Tara. So much was riding on that one day: my relationship with my daughter and, maybe, the beginnings of a romantic relationship with Tara.

  I refused to get my hopes about Tara, but I couldn’t help but think about her. I could feel a connection between us and thought she felt it, too. There was no way I could be sure, but the way she looked at me sometimes. It was like she was thinking the exact same things I was thinking, like we were on the same wavelength. She’d been occupying my thoughts for days.

  This was my chance to impress them both. After weeks of having Paisley fulltime, I still felt so far away from her. She was my daughter, but she was also a stranger. I knew I was partially to blame for that. I didn’t fight hard enough for her all those years ago. I let Claire make all the decisions. I backed down too soon. If I could go back and change it, I would in a heartbeat.

  Instead, I vowed to do everything I could to build a relationship with her. That morning, I decided to put Tara out of my mind and focus solely on what would make Paisley happy.

  “So,” I said over breakfast. “What do you want to do today?”

  “I don’t know,” Paisley shrugged. “Whatever.”

  “Well,” I said slowly. “Do you remember my friend, Tara? She came over the other day when you were sick.”

  “Yeah,” Paisley said. Her face brightened slightly.

  “She’s going to come hang out with us today,” I said. “And I think it would be cool if we took her somewhere really fun. What do you think?”

  “Sure.” Paisley shrugged.

  “Where do you think we should go?” I asked. “We can go anywhere you want.”

  “Um,” Paisley began. Her expression was thoughtful. “I don’t know. My mom never really took me anywhere.”

  I watched Paisley’s face closely. She looked sad, but there was more behind her eyes.
She almost looked disappointed. It occurred to me that Paisley and I may have had more in common than I thought. The way she mentioned her mother reminded me of the way I always talked about my dad. She seemed disappointed with Claire, almost angry at her.

  I wanted to ask her about it, but I knew it wasn’t the time. Paisley would have to open up to me in her own time. Still, I felt an odd sense of comfort wash over me. Claire wasn’t the perfect mother, that much I’d always known, but I spent a lot of time convincing myself Claire was better for Paisley than I would ever be. For the first time, I didn’t know if that was true.

  A soft knock on the door pulled me away from my thoughts. I started to stand, but Paisley was faster. She jumped up from the kitchen table and ran to the front door. I grinned at the sight. I knew she really like Tara, but it was still amazing to see her get excited.

  “Good morning,” Tara said as she stepped inside. She smiled at Paisley and then at me. I waved her over.

  “We’re just finishing up breakfast,” I said. “You hungry?”

  “No,” she shook her head. “I ate.”

  “Coffee?” I offered.

  “Sure,” Tara smiled. “Thanks.”

  I moved to the counter and poured her a cup. I’d seen her drink coffee at the office so I knew she took it black. When I handed it to her, I gestured for her to sit down. She sat down with a grateful smile.

  “So,” I said. “Paisley and I were just discussing what to do today.”

  “Yeah,” Paisley said. “But we have no ideas.”

  “Actually,” I said. “I think I do.”

  Paisley looked at me with surprise. I grinned at her and turned my attention to Tara.

  “Arizona Museum of Natural Science,” I said with a flourish. “What do you think?”

  “Sounds fun,” Tara nodded. “Paisley?”

  “Sure,” Paisley said. She didn’t muster up a smile, but I could tell she was excited.

  I smiled and told Paisley to finish her breakfast so we could leave. She gulped down her food faster than I’d ever seen her. Before Tara was able to finish her coffee, Paisley was up. She walked over and stood by the door. She didn’t say anything, but she watched Tara and I expectantly.

  “I think she’s ready to go.” Tara laughed.

  “What gave you that idea?” I said. I took Tara’s coffee mug and rinsed it out in the sink. After a quick clean up, I ushered the girls out of the house and locked the door behind us.

  ***

  By the time we made it to the museum, Paisley vibrated with energy. We went inside, and she looked around with wide eyes. She took in the exhibits around her with more interest than I’d ever seen her show. When we reached the butterfly exhibit, she smiled. In all the weeks that we’d spent together, I had never seen her smile. Not once. Not until that moment. I was so happy I almost cried.

  “She loves it,” Tara whispered to me softly. We stood together and watched Paisley dance around the exhibit. Butterflies landed on her arms and her head. She giggled and tried to catch them, but they fluttered away.

  “I could watch her all day,” I said with a small laugh. “She looks so happy.”

  “She is,” Tara said. “You did a great job. This was an amazing idea.”

  “I’m glad you’re here,” I said, turning to face her. “It wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t.”

  Tara just smiled back. We continued watching Paisley until she got her fill and wanted to see more. After a few hours, we stopped for lunch. Paisley once again ate quickly before dragging us away.

  “There’s more to see!” she said with excitement.

  Paisley ran ahead, too impatient to wait for Tara and me. I shook my head and laughed as I watched her go.

  “Don’t go too far!” I called after her. “Stay where I can see you!”

  Paisley ignored me, but I knew she heard because she slowed her pace slightly. I could still see her as she looked at the different artifacts lining the walls.

  “You’re a great dad,” Tara said suddenly.

  “I don’t know about that,” I said dismissively. There were things Tara didn’t know about my past with Paisley, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell her.

  “You are,” Tara insisted. “I know you don’t think you are, but you’re doing a really great job.”

  “I’m trying.” I nodded. “It’s hard, though. It’s new for us.”

  “What is?” Tara asked.

  “This,” I said. “Us. Living together. Being around each other.”

  “Oh,” Tara said. “I didn’t realize.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I’m not proud of it. Paisley only came to live with me a few weeks ago.”

  “Why?” Tara asked.

  I took a deep breath and thought about my answer. It wasn’t a secret, Claire’s accident, but it also wasn’t something I talked about with just anyone.

  “Her mom,” I began slowly. “Her name was Claire. She died in a car accident a few weeks ago.”

  “Oh my god,” Tara whispered. She glanced at me quickly before looking over at Paisley. “She’s so young.”

  “Too young,” I said, shaking my head. “She doesn’t deserve this.”

  “No one does,” Tara said softly. “She’s lucky to have you, though.”

  “I wish that were true,” I said. “She doesn’t even know me and, really, I don’t know her. Until the night Claire died, I hadn’t seen her in years. She only recognized me because Claire showed her pictures.”

  “Can I ask,” Tara began. “I know it’s not my business, but I just wonder…”

  “Why I wasn’t in her life?” I finished for her.

  “Yeah,” Tara nodded. “If it’s too personal, I understand.”

  “Back then, I wasn’t the best guy in the world,” I admitted. “Claire wasn’t happy, and she cheated. Then, she left me. I didn’t feel like I had a choice. I thought that Paisley would be better off without me in her life. So, I let Claire have her. I didn’t even fight her on it.”

  I finished talking and waited for Tara to speak, but she didn’t. She just reached over and grabbed my hand. She interlocked her fingers with mine and squeezed gently. I looked at our connected hands and my heart stopped beating. When my eyes found hers, I saw that she was staring at me with an intensity I’d never seen before.

  “Tara!” Paisley yelled. Tara and I both jumped. I let go of her hand and cleared my throat.

  “What is it?” Tara asked, smiling as Paisley ran toward us.

  “Come on!” Paisley said. “You have to see this!”

  ***

  “Sweet dreams,” I whispered as I closed Paisley’s door.

  “That was fast,” Tara said when I reappeared in the living room.

  “She was asleep within five minutes.” I laughed. “I think we wore her out today.”

  Tara nodded. “She definitely enjoyed herself.”

  “She really did, didn’t she?” I asked. Tara grinned, and I grinned back. It had been the perfect day.

  “Well,” Tara said. “I should get going.”

  I walked Tara out to the front porch. We stood there for a few seconds, neither of us knowing what to say. Something happened at the museum, something big. I knew what it meant to me, but I had no idea what Tara was thinking. I wanted to ask her. I wanted to find out how she felt, but I didn’t know where to start. What should I say? What questions would I even ask?

  “Thank you for coming,” I said awkwardly. “I really appreciate it.”

  “Of course,” Tara said, smiling. “I wouldn’t have missed it. I had fun.”

  “Yeah,” I said. Tara looked up at me. Her green eyes stared deeply into mine, and my heart raced. My breathing became more and more ragged as we stood there looking at each other.

  I took a step forward without realizing it. My body took over for me. Before I knew what was happening, I leaned down and pressed my lips lightly against Tara’s. She inhaled sharply but didn’t pull away. After a few seconds, I felt her body melt into m
ine. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back.

  When she pulled away, it was just for a second. She took a quick step backward and blinked. She looked down like she couldn’t believe what just happened. Then, she threw her arms back around me and kissed me again. My hands found her hips, and I pulled her against me. I deepened the kiss, letting my tongue slide inside her mouth. She moaned softly against my lips.

  That sound was enough to drive me insane. I moved toward the front door, dragging her with me. I pushed open the door, and we hurried inside, still locked in an embrace. I closed the door softly, trying not to wake Paisley. Tara’s hands moved wildly over my body.

  “Come on,” I breathed, pulling away from her slightly.

  Tara nodded and took my hand. I led her through the living room and into the back hallway. We tiptoed past Paisley’s room and disappeared into mine.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Tara

  When the door of Sean’s bedroom swung closed, he wasted no time. He pulled me against him and held me tightly. His lips worked furiously against mine. I melted. While he kissed me, I let my hands roam all over his body. I grasped frantically at his back, running my nails down across his shirt. When I reached his waist line, I tucked my fingers beneath the hem of his shirt and quickly pulled it over his head.

  Sean’s kisses never slowed. I raked my fingers down his chest and his stomach, finally feeling the outline of his ab muscles. I groaned deeply. Sean growled and lifted me off my feet. I wrapped my legs around his waist, my fingers tangling in his hair.

  He carried me to the bed and laid me back gently. He paused just long enough to look into my eyes. It was dark in his bedroom, but his blue eyes shined brightly. I lost myself in them. I pulled him back to me, kissing him with a passion I’d never felt before. My legs were still wrapped around his waist and I could feel him growing harder by the second. I wanted to feel more of him.

  Reaching down, I unbuttoned his jeans and tugged at them. Sean got the hint and sat up quickly. He shook his jeans off and threw them to the floor. I stared at him above me. He wore nothing but boxers now. I’d never seen anyone so sexy in my entire life. I raked my hands down his chest again, wanting to savor the moment for as long as possible.