by Alice Ward
I rolled over to face him, and he brushed my curls off my face. I smiled and kissed the palm of his hand while I slowly stopped shaking.
I could have laid there with him all night, but I knew it was getting late. As my body returned to normal, I forced myself to my feet. My legs felt weak, but I could stand. I searched for my clothes. Sean watched me with a frown while I got dressed.
“Stay,” he said finally.
“What?” I asked. I laughed and turned around to face him. I was sure he was joking.
“I’m serious,” he said. “I want you to stay.”
“What about Paisley?” I asked.
“If she asks, we’ll tell her you fell asleep during the movie.” Sean shrugged. “She’s young. She won’t suspect anything.”
“I don’t know,” I said slowly. I shook my head and glanced at his bedroom door. As much as I didn’t want to leave him, I also hated the idea of Paisley finding out something she wasn’t ready to know.
“Please,” Sean whispered. “I don’t want to sleep without you.”
His words were all I needed to hear. I climbed back in bed beside him and let him wrap his arms around me. He held me against him and sighed deeply. I could feel the smile spread across his face even though I couldn’t see him. It had been a long time since I last fell asleep beside a man. I couldn’t remember the last time I spent an entire night in a man’s bed.
As I drifted off to sleep, I pulled Sean’s arms more tightly around me, wanting to feel his strength when I finally closed my eyes.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Sean
I woke the next morning with a pounding heart and my stomach full of butterflies. Sometime in the night, I had disappeared into the living room to retrieve my discarded clothes. I dressed in pajamas and climbed back in bed beside Tara. She didn’t move when I slid next to her and wrapped my arms around her sleeping body. I buried my face in her hair and fell asleep with the scent of her all around me.
As the sunlight seeped through my windows, I pulled my arms away from Tara and stretched slowly. I didn’t want to wake her, but I suddenly felt a sense of dread set in. As happy as I was to wake up beside her, I now wondered if I was making the right decision. Was getting close to Tara smart, or was I setting myself up for heartbreak?
The last time I spent the night with a woman was my ex-wife, Claire. Paisley’s mother had hurt me so badly that I swore off women almost entirely for years. Sure, I slept with a few different women, but I never let them stick around long enough to matter. In fact, I never even let myself fall asleep because I knew I didn’t want to wake up beside them.
With Tara though, everything was different. I wanted her next to me all the time. I never wanted to be away from her. If I could, I would have spent every waking and sleeping moment in her presence. I fell for her more every day, and I was terrified of what that might mean. As I laid beside her, letting myself wake up, I remembered everything from the night before.
We were so amazing together. We fit like puzzle pieces, and it wasn’t just about the sex. As amazing as the sex was, and it was mind numbingly perfect, Tara meant more to me than just that. Her personality was just as attractive as her body, and the way she so easily bonded with Paisley was amazing. My heart melted just watching them interact. I knew Paisley was getting just as attached to Tara as I was. What if things didn’t work out? Would Paisley get hurt in the process?
My mind raced with these thoughts as Tara began to stir beside me. I wondered how she felt about all this. Did she feel the same things I did, or was this just some casual thing for her? Deep down, I knew how Tara felt about me. It was written in every line of her face when she looked at me. The way she’d kissed me the night before held more than just sexual desire. She was falling for me, too. That much I was sure of, but the rest, I felt completely uncertain about.
As Tara’s eyes flickered open, I forgot all my worries. Her brilliant green eyes locked on my face and I grinned widely. She looked even more gorgeous in the morning light. I could have laid there watching her all day.
“Good morning,” she mumbled against the pillow. She smiled shyly and buried her face in the sheets.
“Morning,” I said, laughing. “Welcome to the land of the living.”
“How long have you been awake?” she asked with a yawn.
I shrugged. “Not long. A few minutes.”
Tara laughed. “Good. So, you haven’t been staring at me this whole time.”
“No, I was,” I admitted with a smile. “Just not for long.”
“That’s good to know,” Tara said. She rolled her eyes and sat up slightly. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and turned to look at me again. She smiled and searched my face for something. I couldn’t tell what she was after.
“What is it?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Just wondering something.”
“What?” I pressed.
“It’s silly,” Tara said. “I just realized that I don’t know what you did before coming to work with us.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Like for a living,” Tara explained. “I never asked. Where did you work before?”
“Oh,” I said, surprised by her question. “I worked as a mechanic. On bikes.”
“Oh,” Tara said. She nodded and looked slightly impressed. “I bet that was fun.”
“I loved it,” I said with a wistful smile. Sometimes, I really did miss my old job.
“I bet,” Tara said. “I’m sorry you had to give it up.”
“No, you’re not,” I teased easily. “You practically forced me to take the job at Yates’ Motorcycles.”
She laughed. “I did not. Your father did that.”
“True,” I admitted. “He did. But, you’re still not sorry.”
“In a way, I am,” Tara argued. “I know how important working on bikes can be. My father loved motorcycles almost as much as he loved me and my mother. He collected them and fixed them up himself. I grew up around motorcycles like most kids grow up going to sporting events.”
“Really?” I raised my eyebrows. I never imagined much about Tara’s past, but if I had, I wouldn’t have pictured that. I couldn’t even imagine Tara riding a motorcycle.
“Really,” she said. “I haven’t ridden in ages though. Not since my father passed away. I just… I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it.”
I watched as a shadow passed over her face. Tara wasn’t the kind of woman to let people in. She took a long time to open up, but when she did, she poured her heart out. As she told me about her father, I knew it was something close to her heart. She loved and missed him more than anything. I wanted to reach over and comfort her, but I didn’t know how. With my relationship with my own father being so strained, I felt like anything I said would be half-hearted and useless. Instead, I just held her hand silently.
When the shadow finally passed over Tara’s face, I got a sudden inspiration. A smile spread across my face. Tara frowned at the sight.
“What are you smiling about?” she asked nervously.
“I have an idea,” I said.
“What’s that?” Tara asked.
“Well, you said you haven’t been on a bike in ages, right?”
“Right.”
“Do you miss it?” I asked eagerly.
Tara blinked at me. She frowned deeply and looked away. I could tell she was thinking about something deeply personal, probably the last time she rode. I knew it had been with her father and that the memory was a painful one, but I wanted to make her feel better. If getting her back on a bike would help, then I wanted to do it.
“Of course,” Tara finally said. “I don’t let myself think about it much, but I do. I really miss it.”
“Come on,” I said. I jumped out of bed and held my hand out for Tara to take. She laughed lightly and shook her head.
“You’re kidding,” she said.
“I’m not,” I promised. “My bike is right outside. It’s gassed up and
ready to go.”
“We can’t just leave,” Tara argued. “What if Paisley wakes up?”
“It’s still early,” I pointed out. “We’ll be back before she gets out of bed.”
“But,” Tara began, but I shook my head firmly.
This was something she needed to do and I wasn’t going to let her out of it. “Come on,” I said again. “It’ll be fun.”
Tara looked at me for a few seconds before she smiled and let me pull her out of bed. She climbed to her feet and followed me into the living room. We put on our shoes quickly and hurried out to the driveway. As I stepped up to my motorcycle, I noticed Tara slow down. She was a few feet away from me when I finally turned around to face her.
Her eyes glistened with tears as she stared at the bike in front of her. She’d been around bikes every day of her life, but I could tell her emotions were running wild in that moment. Memories of her father were traced across her face. I moved to stand beside her and took her hand in mine.
“It’s okay,” I said gently. “If you’re not ready, we don’t have to.”
“No,” Tara said. She shook her head and sniffed. “No, I want to. I’m ready.”
I nodded and climbed on the motorcycle. I fired it up and turned to help Tara climb on behind me. She didn’t need my help. She put both her hands on my shoulders and threw her leg over the bike like a pro. I grinned to myself as I kicked the bike into gear. Then I pulled out of the driveway.
At first, Tara held onto me tightly. Her grip was strong as we turned the first few corners, but the longer we drove, the more she relaxed. She slipped into a comfortable rhythm. When I leaned, she leaned. It was clear that this wasn’t her first time on a bike, but I knew she was nervous after being away from it for so long.
After a few minutes of driving aimlessly, I pulled over to the side of the road and stepped off the bike.
“What are you doing?” Tara asked.
“Letting you drive,” I explained. “If you want to.”
Tara grinned and slid up on the seat. She gripped the handlebars and flexed her fingers against them. I climbed on the seat behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She kicked the bike into gear and revved the engine.
“Hold on tight,” she teased before she tore back onto the road.
Tara drove less carefully than I had. She turned sharply and leaned into each turn. I could hear her laughing against the wind and the sound warmed my soul. I was still unsure of our relationship. I was terrified of getting hurt, but in that moment, I didn’t care. If I could help Tara feel less pain, then I would. Just like Paisley, she’d been through so much and all I wanted to do was take her pain away. Tara meant the world to me. If I got hurt, I knew it would be worth it.
We pulled back into the driveway twenty minutes later. When I stepped off the bike, I was grinning like a mad man. Tara turned to me and laughed loudly. She threw her head back and stared up at the sky for a few seconds. I’d never seen her look so peaceful.
“Thank you,” she said as she turned back to me.
“Anytime,” I told her.
She stepped off the bike and kissed me softly. As we walked back up to the house, she laced her fingers with mine and squeezed gently. We stepped through the front door just as Paisley was walking into the living room.
“Good morning,” I called. Paisley smiled when she saw Tara.
“Tara!” she said.
“Good morning, Paisley,” Tara said with a laugh. “How’d you sleep?”
“Great!” Paisley said. “But I’m hungry.”
“Come on,” I laughed. “I’ll get you some breakfast.”
I turned toward the kitchen, but I soon noticed that Tara wasn’t following. I frowned and walked back over to her.
“You okay?” I asked. “I know that was emotional for you, so if you need to be alone, I get it.”
“No,” Tara said. She shook her head. “I just think I should go. You and Paisley need time together. I shouldn’t intrude any more than I already have.”
“You’re never intruding,” I said, smiling. “Paisley loves having you here.”
“I know,” Tara said. “But still. If you want some alone time with her, I can go.”
“No,” I said firmly. “I want you to stay.”
“Are you sure?” Tara asked.
“Yes,” I promised. “Now come on. Have breakfast with us.”
Tara smiled and let me lead her into the kitchen. We sat down at the table with Paisley and each ate a bowl of cereal while Paisley told us all about her dreams from the night before.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Tara
After spending most of Saturday with Sean and Paisley, I knew I needed to go home. I’d occupied their time for half the weekend already, and they needed father/daughter time. Plus, I was still wearing my clothes from Friday night, and I was desperate to take a shower. I said goodbye and hurried home where I spent Saturday night in my pajamas, lounging around and reading a book.
It was relaxing, but I found myself thinking about Sean on and off all night. I thought about calling him, but I didn’t want to be “that girl,” who couldn’t even go a few hours without hearing his voice. I went to bed early, making a vow to myself that I wouldn’t try to call him for the rest of the weekend. I would see him at work the following week. It wasn’t far off, but it felt like an eternity when I woke up on Sunday morning. I knew I needed to distract myself so I went over to Niki’s for a surprise visit.
It was early when I knocked on her door, but she was already up. Surprised, I walked inside as she held the door open for me.
“What are you doing up so early?” I asked.
“What are you doing here so early?” she fired back. I smiled and cocked my head to the side as if to say “touché.”
“I missed you,” I answered honestly. “It’s been a couple weeks since we saw each other last.”
“True that.” Niki nodded. “Well, come on. I just made coffee.”
I followed Niki into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Niki’s apartment was small. It wasn’t quite a studio, but the square footage was the same. Her miniscule bedroom was hidden behind the only door in the place, with the bathroom tucked away inside. I joked that every time I peed there, I had to become a contortionist because the toilet was so close to the wall. Niki always accepted my jibes with good humor. She loved her apartment and would hear nothing negative about it. It was the perfect place for her: small, cheap, and trendy.
Niki handed me a purple coffee mug with a painted daisy on it. I smiled gratefully and took a long gulp. I didn’t sleep well the night before. With thoughts of Sean occupying my brain, it took me far too long to even close my eyes. The coffee slid down my throat with a welcome warmth. I sighed and closed my eyes.
“Tired?” Niki asked with raised eyebrows. She sat across from me and drank from her own mug.
“Didn’t sleep well last night,” I said evasively. I knew our conversation would eventually come around to Sean, but I wasn’t ready to discuss it quite yet.
“How’s work?” Niki asked. She pretended like it was an off-handed question, but I could tell she was interested. Her eyes locked on mine over her coffee mug while she waited for my answer.
“Really good,” I said. “You’d be surprised. The numbers are actually going up.”
“They are?” Niki asked. “Well, I am surprised. I thought the company would tank within the month.”
I laughed. “You have so much faith in me.”
“In you, yes,” Niki said firmly. “In that company? Absolutely not.”
“Well, either way, we’re doing well,” I said with a wave of my hand. “Sean really came through for us. He’s been a godsend.”
“So, he’s working out?” Niki asked.
“Perfectly,” I answered. “He was exactly what the company needed. The more we get him out in front of the press, the better the numbers will be. I’m sure of it.”
“I’m happy for you,” Nik
i said. “I mean, I don’t agree with the corporate scheme and all that bullshit, but if you’re happy, then I’m happy.”
“Thanks,” I said, grinning. “I guess that’s the best I can hope for you from you, huh?”
“Yup,” Niki said. “You hungry?”
I shrugged. “Sure.”
Niki went to the pantry and grabbed a bag of mini donuts. I smiled at her choice of breakfast foods but kept my mouth shut. While I tried to become a full-fledged adult, Niki resisted growing up like it was the plague. She still worked minimum wage, part-time jobs in an effort to maintain her independence, and she outright refused to eat anything healthier than an apple.
We sat at the table and gorged on mini donuts through most of the morning. Niki filled me in on her life, and I told her more about work. The conversation circled dangerously close to Sean, and I knew I had to tell her what was going on soon. If she hadn’t already guessed I was hiding something, she would eventually.
“Yeah,” I said after we finished yet another discussion about Sean’s ad campaigns. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with him.”
I tried to keep my voice casual, but just as I suspected, Niki’s eyes widened with interest. She looked at me closely, examining my face.
“What do you mean?” she asked carefully. “You mean, at work?”
“That.” I nodded. “And outside of work.”
“So, you’re dating him?” Niki asked.
Niki’s eyes widened even more. She whistled softly and looked around the room. I knew she was surprised, but I didn’t expect her to act that surprised.
“What?” I asked defensively.
“Nothing,” Niki said. “It’s just… Didn’t you swear off guys after your last breakup? I thought it would take a little longer for you to get back on the horse.”
“I’m not on any horse,” I assured her. “We’ve just been hanging out.”
“Hanging out?” Niki repeated. “So, you’re sleeping with him.”
I choked on my coffee and sputtered. As I wiped my mouth, Niki laughed and handed me a napkin. She shook her head side to side and watched me with an accusation in her eyes.