by Alice Ward
I turned away from my father and walked over to Zach. He flinched when I approached him, but I wasn’t going to hit him. Not again.
Instead, I leaned over him and took his face between my fingers. I forced his chin toward me so he had no choice but to look me in the eyes. I held him there for a few seconds, enjoying the look of fear in his eyes.
“Sean,” my dad said from me behind. It was a warning, but I didn’t care. I only had eyes for Zach.
“Listen to me,” I hissed. “If you ever touch my daughter again, I will kill you.”
Zach jerked his head away from my hand, but I held him tightly. I leaned even closer to his face and glared into his eyes.
“Am I clear?” I asked. “I will kill you.”
With that, I threw Zach’s head against the ground and turned to leave. Now that my moment with Zach had passed, I wanted to check on my daughter. My dad stepped in my way as I tried to leave, but I stepped around him easily.
“Sean,” he called after me.
“Don’t,” I yelled. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. I need to go check on my daughter. I need to make sure she’s okay.”
“Are you sure she’s really your daughter?” Zach asked from the floor.
When he spoke, I was sure I heard him wrong, but as I turned around, I saw a sickening grin spread across his face.
“What?” I asked.
I stared at Zach blankly. My anger slowly gave way to a new, more intense emotion. I flashed back to my life nine years ago. When Paisley was conceived, I wasn’t living the best way. I spent all my time with the motorcycle club, and Claire hated me for it. She begged me to quit, but I never did. I ignored her wishes.
Zach’s words burned a hole in my stomach.
Zach’s bloody grin widened. “I said, are you sure she’s really your daughter?”
“Fuck you,” I snapped. I glared at him before I spun back around to leave.
I marched toward the door, but someone was blocking my way to the hallway. I looked up to see Tara, staring at me with wide eyes. She looked from me to Zach and then back again, understanding dawning on her face. I didn’t know if she really understood the true meaning behind Zach’s words, but I was certain she had heard them.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Tara
“Are you sure she’s really your daughter?”
Zach’s question echoed into the hallway. I had just set Paisley up in my office with her sketchbook. After making sure she was okay, I hurried back toward the conference room in time to hear the tail end of Sean and Zach’s argument.
When that question hit my ears, I froze where I stood. I could hear faint whispers as Sean said something and then soft footsteps, but I couldn’t make out his words. I didn’t hear anything else until I was standing in the doorway and Zach repeated the question again. I stood there, staring at Zach as he bled onto the conference room floor.
“Are you sure she’s really your daughter?”
When I looked up, Sean was walking toward me. He didn’t see me at first, but as he looked up, his eyes fell on my face. He paused for a fraction of a second, taking in my surprised expression. Without a word, he brushed by me and ran down the hall to my office. I saw him disappear inside, and a moment later, he reappeared with Paisley by his side. He wrapped his arm protectively around the little girl and ushered her toward the elevator. Neither of them looked at me as they walked.
I couldn’t believe what I’d just seen and heard. From the time Zach barged into the conference room and grabbed Paisley, I knew we were in for a horrible day. I’d never seen Sean so angry. He charged across the room and threw Zach against the wall like he was nothing. I didn’t blame him. When I saw Zach reach for Paisley’s arm, I was livid. I moved forward, but Sean was faster. By the time I reached Paisley, Sean already had Zach pinned to the wall.
Carrying Paisley to my office was nerve-wracking. I didn’t want to leave Sean alone with Zach, but I knew I had to take care of Paisley first. She wasn’t hurt, but she was scared. Terrified. I did my best to calm her before I returned to the conference room, but I never imagined I would walk in on the scene before me.
With Sean now gone, I could take in the room in its entirety. Zach still laid on the floor, his nose bleeding profusely. As I watched, he slowly crawled onto his stomach and pushed himself to his feet. He groaned and winced. The sight filled me with a sick joy. He deserved whatever pain Sean inflicted upon him.
While Zach struggled, I turned my attention to Ray. He had sunk into a chair at the conference table after Sean left. His head was on the table, and I knew he was just as upset as I was. Neither of us could believe what had just happened between Sean and Zach.
I took a step forward, wanting to comfort Ray, but Zach’s head snapped up at the sound of my footsteps.
“What are you still doing here?” he demanded. “Get your stuff and leave. You’re fired.”
I blinked and looked at Ray. He didn’t lift his head. I felt my stomach drop, but I turned around without a word. After everything I just witnessed, I didn’t have it in me to fight Zach’s decision. If he wanted me gone, I would leave. That was fine. So long as he never hurt Paisley or Sean again.
I walked toward my office, and everything felt fuzzy. My head spun, and I couldn’t shake the incessant ringing in my ears. I saw stars at the corner of my vision, and I thought I might faint. I didn’t. Instead, I moved slowly down the hall until I reached my office. When I stepped inside, I closed the door firmly behind me and slid to the floor.
My hands shook, and my head drooped between my legs. I took deep, steadying breaths and tried to calm down. The events of the day played in my head over and over again until finally, I had no choice but to get up and move. Zach wanted me gone. He told me to pack my things and get out, so that was what I would do. As much as I hated the idea, I was too worried about Sean and Paisley to care much about myself.
Just minutes ago, I stood in that conference room and asked Sean to explain his strained relationship with Zach. I thought it was so important for me to know the truth, but now I wasn’t so sure. Obviously, there was much more between the two brothers than I ever imagined. For Zach to grab a little girl like that? For Sean to beat Zach so badly he could barely move?
“Are you sure she’s really your daughter?”
I heard Zach’s voice echo through my head as I sat on the floor of my office. I didn’t know what he meant by that, but I had a horrible feeling I didn’t want to. Part of me wanted to know the truth. It felt like the most important thing in the world. For me to find out what went on between Sean and Zach was the one way I would be able to make a sound decision about my relationship with Sean. Thinking about it now, it didn’t make sense.
Another part of me no longer cared about the reasons Sean and Zach had for hating each other. The only thing I cared about was Sean. And Paisley. They were what mattered. My job and this company meant nothing compared to them. No amount of fears or insecurities could change that. I let Niki get in my head. I let Sean’s familial drama get in my head. I let a thousand little things stand between me and Sean, and I was just now beginning to realize how stupid I’d been.
As this realization washed over me, I pushed myself to my feet and hurried toward my desk. I would pack up my things and leave, but first I needed to call Sean. I knew he had his cell phone on him, so I grabbed my phone and dialed his number with trembling fingers. I just needed to hear his voice. I needed to know he was okay.
The phone rang four times, and I tapped my foot impatiently. On the fifth ring, I started to worry Sean wouldn’t answer. By the eighth ring, I knew my fears were well-founded. Sean’s voicemail clicked on, and I heard his gruff voice telling me to leave a message. I sighed in frustration and slammed the phone back down.
My hands were still shaking. I picked up the phone and tried him again. When he still didn’t answer, I decided to leave a message and prayed he would call me back.
“You’ve reached Sean,” his voicemail said. “L
eave a message.”
Short and to the point, just like Sean. I shook my head and waited for the beep, trying to figure out what I was going to say.
“Hey,” I said lamely after the beep. “It’s me. Tara. I just… I don’t really know what to say. I don’t understand what just happened, but I needed to make sure you were okay. You and Paisley. You ran out of here so fast and I just… I’m really worried about you, Sean. Please call me. Please.”
I hung up and let my head fall into my hands. I felt completely useless. I couldn’t possibly understand how Sean was feeling and I didn’t even want to try. His family life was obviously way more complicated than I thought, and now, it had just gotten even worse.
With a sigh, I began to pack my things into my bag. I didn’t have much in my office. Just a few pictures on my desk and some personal files tucked away in my bottom desk drawer. I took my diploma off the wall behind my desk and checked the other drawers without finding anything. Everything else in the office belonged to the company, and I couldn’t have taken it if I wanted to.
My bag bulged by the time I threw it over my shoulder and took a last look at my office. My eyes filled with tears as I thought about leaving this place. I didn’t think I would ever be back, and I couldn’t just walk away without a care. I spent years helping develop this company, and in just a few short weeks, I had devised a plan that increased profits exponentially. I was great at my job and I didn’t want to leave.
I knew there was no point in fighting it. I grabbed my nameplate off my desk and stepped out into the hallway. I pulled my office door closed behind me, tears falling down my cheeks. As I walked toward the elevator, I was happy to not run into anyone. The last thing I needed was for someone to bombard me with questions about why I was leaving and what had happened in the conference room.
I stepped into the elevator and let the doors close. Leaning against the wall, I let the tears continue to fall. I let myself feel every emotion that threatened to overwhelm me. I didn’t know where I would go next. I was sure I could get a different job, but work suddenly seemed to unimportant. My mind was full of thoughts of Sean, and I didn’t have room for anything else. I was heartbroken to leave Yates’ Motorcycles, but I was more heartbroken at the thought that I may never see Sean again.
Even as I left that message, I didn’t think Sean would call me back. He looked right through me when he left earlier. His only thought was getting Paisley as far away from there as possible. Still, I wanted to see him. I had to see him. If only to make sure he was okay. If only to say goodbye.
As I walked through the showroom, I was too distracted to notice the whispers that surrounded me. It wasn’t until I was in the parking lot, staring at an ambulance that I realized something was going on. I looked at the ambulance with a frown and glanced around me. It felt like I was coming out of a fog. Suddenly, I could hear the sirens wailing all around me. I stepped to the side of the parking lot so I was slightly obscured from view. I wanted to see what was happening, but I didn’t want anyone to see me. If Zach saw me standing there, he would probably call security to have me forcibly removed.
Zach. Was Zach the reason for the ambulance? I remembered all the blood on the conference room floor and I cringed. Was he hurt that badly? It looked like his nose was broken, but did that warrant an ambulance? I knew Zach tended toward the dramatics but I still couldn’t believe he would call 911 for a broken nose.
Unless something else was broken? Had Sean beaten him so badly that he caused internal injuries? Was Zach going to be okay? As awful as it was, my concern wasn’t for Zach. My concern was for Sean. I knew Zach well enough to know he would use this fight to his advantage. If Sean hurt him bad enough, Zach would not hesitate to sue him or have him sent to prison for assault.
The thought made my skin crawl. I waited while the paramedics wheeled a stretcher out of the front doors. I craned my neck forward, trying to get a glimpse of the person lying there. I could barely see, but when the paramedics loaded the stretcher inside and stepped away, I caught a full view of his face. My heart fell into my stomach and I forgot how to breathe. It wasn’t Zach lying on the stretcher.
It was Ray.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Sean
As hard as I tried to keep my anger in check, it kept rearing its ugly head. The entire drive home from Yates’ Motorcycles was silent. I asked Paisley if she was okay, but she just nodded and looked out the window. I could tell she was upset. How could she not be? After what Zach did to her, I would be surprised if she ever acted normal again. Still, I wished she would talk to me and tell me how she felt about it. I knew better than to push her, so I stayed quiet until we made it back home.
At home, the night dragged by slowly. Paisley and I ate dinner together. I asked her a few questions, and she answered politely, but she asked to go to bed right after she finished eating. I said yes, then followed her to her room a few minutes later. She was dressed in her pajamas and curled up beneath her blankets. Her eyes focused on the ceiling above her and she wore a thoughtful expression. It reminded me of her first few days with me, right after Claire died.
“Did you brush your teeth?” I asked, sitting at the foot of her bed.
“Yes,” she said.
I nodded. “Good.” I looked at her for a few seconds, trying to work up the courage to say all the things I wanted to say. “Listen, I know you don’t want to talk about it, and that’s okay, but I really want to make sure you’re okay after what happened today.”
“I’m fine,” Paisley said almost too quickly.
“What that man did,” I continued. “Zach. He should not have grabbed you that way. No one should ever do that to you or anyone else. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Paisley said. Her eyes stayed glued to the ceiling.
“Maybe not,” I said. “But I’m your dad, and it’s my job to protect you. So, I’m sorry.”
“You did protect me,” Paisley said softly. “You pushed him.”
Her voice was low, but I could see her expression change. She no longer looked thoughtful, she looked nervous, almost scared. Suddenly, I realized that I might have been worried about the wrong thing this whole time.
“Did I scare you?” I asked weakly. “When I pushed Zach, did I scare you?”
Paisley didn’t answer right away. She blinked a few times as if she were trying not to cry, and then she nodded her head. My heart sunk into my stomach, and I had to fight back tears of my own. I couldn’t believe I’d scared my own daughter. I was her father and I was the person she was afraid of. What had I done?
“Paisley,” I said. “I am so sorry for scaring you. I just saw Zach hurt you, and I got angry.”
“I know,” Paisley said. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” I argued. “If you were scared, then it’s not okay.”
“I’m okay now,” Paisley said. I could tell she was just trying to make me feel better, and that fact only increased my guilt. I sighed and stood up.
“Get some sleep,” I said. “Sweet dreams.”
“Goodnight,” Paisley whispered. She rolled over to face the wall while I let myself out of the room.
I pulled the door closed behind me and felt a lump growing in my throat. For hours, I’d been thinking that Paisley would be scarred after what Zach did to her. I was so angry with him for grabbing her that way that I didn’t stop to think how my actions would affect her. Of course, she was afraid. She had a strange man grab her by the arm, and then her father shoved that man against a wall. Worse still, I just sent her away without hugging her or comforting her in any way. Tara took her out of the room because I wanted to fight Zach. I was selfish. I was arrogant. I was anything but a good dad.
My guilt overwhelmed me as I made my way into my bedroom. I thought about watching television to take my mind off things, but I knew it wouldn’t work. My head was spinning and I felt exhausted. Not for the first time, I heard Zach’s voice echo in my mind.
“Are you sure she’s your daughter?”
The look on his face when he repeated that question made me want to beat him senseless all over again. I wanted to permanently shut him up. How dare he hurt my daughter and then question whether she was really mine? I couldn’t believe he would be so petty and vindictive. Despite everything he’d already done, I always hoped there was something redeemable left inside my brother. No matter how bad things got between us, and they’d gotten horrible over the years, I never truly hated him. Not really.
There were times when I vowed that I would never see Zach again. Times when I swore to anyone who would listen that I would kill him if he ever came near me. But I never meant it. I was hurt and I was angry. He was responsible for so many of the bad things in my life, but he was still my brother. He was still my family.
Now, I wasn’t sure how to feel. The second he grabbed Paisley, all my hope vanished. I no longer wanted to search for his redeeming qualities. I no longer wished that, one day, he would apologize and we could be brothers again. For the first time, I truly hated him. I wanted to cause him pain. I wanted to make him hurt the way he’d made me hurt.
Then, he took it further. As if grabbing Paisley wasn’t enough, he had to throw that question at me like a knife. The second I heard him, I felt like my mind caved in on itself.
“Are you sure she’s your daughter?”
I fell asleep with that question in my mind. I heard it echo in my dreams. And, when I woke up the next morning, it was the first thing I thought about.
***
It was five o’clock in the morning when I woke up. It was early, way too early to be awake, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again. My mind was too full. I thought a good night’s sleep would help me relax after the fight, but it didn’t. I was just as angry, confused, and guilty as ever. My heart and my stomach felt heavy. I thought about eating an early breakfast, but I felt too nauseated to even try.
Instead, I sat on the couch for an hour, dwelling on the past. I remembered every detail of the previous day. From talking to Tara in the conference room to storming out of the office with Paisley at my side. It all stood out clearly in my mind. I could still feel the way Zach’s nose felt as it broke against my hand. The rush of adrenaline I felt at the sight of his blood felt amazing at the time, but looking back, it only brought me more misery.