by Ashley Blake
I gave him a huge hug and a kiss. “I am so happy for you!”
“Thanks, sweetie, that means a lot.” He pulled away a bit and looked at me with a bit of worry on his face. “How am I going to tell my dad about this? He’s never going to allow it.”
“Jonathan, I think you’re going to have to go to your mom first. She seemed to really understand how much you love singing and she loved the show. Maybe she’ll be able to get through to your dad.”
“I hope so, I really want this Sky.”
“I know you do, sweetie.”
“Maybe my mom will be able to get through to him.”
“What if you kind of negotiated doing it for a year to see what happens, and if things don’t work out then tell your dad that you’ll work for the company. Maybe if he sees this as a temporary hiatus for you he will be more open to it.”
I saw a flicker of light in Jonathan’s eyes and I could tell that he thought this was something that might actually work.
"Sky, that's actually not a bad idea. My cousin Jeremy was allowed to take a year off before he started college so maybe my dad will see this as me taking a year off before I start working for the company. The only problem is what if the band really takes off and the record company decides to exercise the additional two-year option?”
“I think that by that time, if you guys blow up, your dad will have to understand because you’ll be big time and recognized all over the world. I think the first step is to get him to agree to a one-year trial period.”
“I think you might have a great idea there, I’m going to call my mom and tell her that I need to see her this week.”
“I hope it all works out for you. When does the record company want an answer?”
"We have a few weeks because we have to have our attorney look over the contract.” His expression became very serious as he looked at me. “Sky, I want you to know that this is not going to change anything between us. We will figure out how to make things work, okay?”
I wanted to believe him, I really did, but I knew that there was no way things would be able to work out between us while he was traveling all over the world. There was going to be temptation, probably every day and probably in every city, and I couldn’t expect him to stay faithful to me. I just didn’t think that would be fair. But, I didn’t want to ruin his mood so I just agreed with him.
“Okay, I know we will be able to figure things out.” I hugged him and held back my tears.
“I’ll let you get back to studying, I just wanted to share the good news with you. I’ll see you later.”
After he left my room I sat at my desk in a bit of shock at what had just happened. If he signed that contract, our relationship would never be the same again; there was just no way we could still be together. Thoughts of groupies throwing themselves at him flooded my brain and I tried to push them out but I couldn’t. The fact that Jonathan was super hot was a guarantee that girls would be throwing themselves at him and once they found out that he was rich before he became a rock star, even more women would be after him. Like I had said to myself before, we were living in a bubble and I really liked our bubble. I wished more than anything we could stay there.
Katie came back to the room around dinnertime and I told her what had happened.
“What?! That is so awesome!” Her eyes were gleaming when I told her the news and then her face completely fell and she looked super worried. “Oh wait, what are you going to do about you guys?”
“Jonathan told me that this isn’t going to change anything with us, he said that we would be able to work things out.”
She cautiously looked at me. “Are you okay?”
“Katie, I’m happy for him but to be honest, I’m scared that this is going to ruin everything between us.”
"Sky, I believe that if two people are meant to be together there is nothing that can keep them apart, and I think that you guys are meant to be together. Everything will work out, you’ll see, don’t worry, Jonathan really loves you.”
Katie’s words made me feel a little bit better but I was still bummed.
“You didn’t let him see you like this did you?”
“No, I put on a happy face for him.”
“Okay, that's good because this is a really big deal Sky, he's getting the chance to go after his dream. Do you have any idea how huge that is?”
"I know, that's why I didn't tell him how I was really feeling because I didn’t want to ruin anything for him. Besides, I don't even know if he'll be able to do it because his dad is dead set on him joining his company. He thinks of the singing thing as a hobby.”
“Oh wow, that would suck if he couldn’t do this. It’s a legit record contract! Doesn’t his dad know how hard it is to get one of those? His dad should understand!”
"We'll see, he's supposed to talk to his mom about it later this week. Anyway, I'm starving, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“Let's go eat. I'm going to go crazy if I keep thinking about this.”
We grabbed our coats and headed off to the cafeteria.
Chapter Thirteen
Graduation was in two weeks but that following weekend Jonathan was going to fly home to New York to talk to his mom in private. He said his dad was going to be out of town on business so he would have his mom to himself. When he came back to school that Sunday afternoon he seemed to be in an extremely good mood so I assumed that the talk with his mom must have gone well. He came right to my room and we ended up going down to his room because Katie was taking a nap.
I hopped on his bed, folded my legs under me, and propped my face in my hands bracing myself for whatever I was about to hear.
“So, how did it go?”
He seemed really happy and he had a huge grin on his face. “It went way better than I ever expected. First of all, my dad wasn’t out of town, he was there so I had to tell both of them at the same time.”
My eyes widened in surprise. “Oh my gosh, you are kidding! What did he say?”
“He was surprised that we actually got a legitimate record contract and, at first, he was not happy about it at all. He told me again that my responsibility was to the company and that I would have to decline the contract and then my mom stepped in. My mom rarely defies my father, I mean it just doesn't happen, but she really stuck up for me. She told him that she was afraid that if they didn’t let me do this that they would lose their relationship with me, and she said that she would not allow that to happen. She told my dad that she knew this was a lifelong dream of mine, even though I didn’t talk about it around him, I had mentioned it to her a few times and she was not going to let them crush my dream.”
“Wow, Jonathan, that is incredible.” I dug deep and tried super hard to sound happy for him but inside I was dying. Our bubble had burst and I really felt like this was the beginning of the end.
“Yeah, I still can’t believe it. She seemed to really understand what a big deal this is and by the end of the conversation she helped my father understand what a huge deal this is. So, your suggestion was genius because he agreed to a one year trial to see what happens and told me that if things didn’t work out in that year the door was always open for me to join the company. He’s going to have his lawyer look over the contract so I’m pretty stoked about that. And you know the whole possibility of the option of two additional years?”
“Yeah.”
“He said we could cross that bridge when the time came. So basically, I am in complete shock that this is actually going to happen. I talked to the rest of the guys and we all agreed that if at any time, one of us wants to quit, then that will be it. We’ll finish out whatever time is left on the contract but then that will be the end. We’re not going to replace band members because we feel it should always be the original five of us.”
I tried to hide my feelings, but they were too strong and I just couldn’t do it anymore. He must have seen the sadness on my face because he suddenly looked very concerned and he
furrowed his brow as his eyes searched mine. “What’s wrong?”
I raised my sad eyes to his. “I am super happy for you Jonathan, I really am, but I have to admit that I am a little bit scared because I think that I'm never going to see you. You're going to be so busy touring all over and the girls are going to be going crazy for you guys, you know, and I don’t want you to miss out on that experience. It’s important to have fans like that and it’s important to make the fans happy. Your life is really going to change and I think that it’s going to be really hard for us to keep in touch. You’ve got to experience this 100% and I don’t want to hold you back in any way.”
He gently held my face in his hands, his gorgeous eyes searching mine. “Don’t you know?”
I was thoroughly confused by his question. “Know what?”
“There is no one else in the world for me.”
Butterflies fluttered in my belly and even that little feeling made me sad because I knew that things would change. No matter what he said, no matter how we felt about each other, things were going to change. I tried to stay positive but I knew what I had to do to protect my heart so, for the time being, I just played along and try to stay upbeat.
“Do you mean that?”
“Of course I do Sky, I love you. Everything will be okay, I promise.”
"Okay. Well, I better get going because I have to finish my paper. Jonathan, I'm so happy for you that this happened to you guys. You totally deserve it and I can’t wait until the day I can say to someone, ‘I knew that guy in college’.”
I started to walk out of his room and he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. “Hey, what’s going on? Why are you talking like we’re never going to see each other again?”
I tried to lie to him but I was completely transparent so I just told him the truth. I threw my hands up in frustration.
“Because everything is going to change, Jonathan! I don’t think we’ll ever be able to get back to this.” I gestured with my hand back and forth between the two of us.
“Skylar please do not give up on us before we’ve had a chance to even see how far things can go. Please don’t do that.”
“I don’t want to but I think I have to.” The tears spilled over before I could stop them.
He looked panicked. “What are you saying?”
“Maybe we should cool things off for a while so that you can focus on getting ready for your new life.”
“No, I don’t want to do that Sky!”
“I know, but I think it will be best for now.”
He was visibly upset and didn’t want me to leave.
“Please don’t do this Sky, it doesn’t have to be like this.” His eyes were pleading.
"Jonathan your life is going to change drastically and I want you to be free to do what you want and date who you want. You'll probably forget about me when thousands of adoring fans are screaming your name. I love you and it kills me to do this but I have to set you free.”
He was crying now and my heart was breaking.
“I only want to be with you! Don’t do this Sky, please!”
“Johnathan it’s the best thing for us. If we’re supposed to be together, then we will be, I really believe that.”
“How can we be together if you’re leaving me?”
"If we're meant to be together, our paths will cross again one day. Go and follow your dream and enjoy every minute of it because you’re going to be a huge success, I just know it.”
"If it means that you are going to break up with me, then I'm not going to do it. The deal is dead. I don't want to lose you Sky and I’m going to tell them that I’m not accepting their offer, that’s final.”
"No! Jonathan, you cannot throw away this opportunity. You have been given a gift that so many people would love to have. You have to do it. Go on to tour, make records and live your dream, I don’t want to get in your way. If we’re meant to be together then we will be.”
“Can I still call you at least?”
“I think it’s best if you just focus on the band and your music. I don’t want to be any kind of distraction for you.”
Jonathan sat there with his head in his hands, slowly shaking his head back and forth, and he raised his tear stained eyes to mine.
“I don’t know why you’re doing this Skylar, you are breaking my heart.”
The tears were flowing down my cheeks and I leaned down and gently held his face in mine as my eyes searched his. “I’m doing this because I love you. I want you to be able to focus on your music 100%.”
I walked out of his room, wiping away my tears, trying to figure out how I was going to make it through each day. When I got upstairs, Katie was still napping so I quietly climbed on my bed, buried my head in my pillow and cried softly. I just broke up with Jonathan.
Chapter Fourteen
Katie tried to coax me out of bed to go eat dinner but I had no appetite so she brought some food back for me from the cafeteria. I managed to force down a couple of bites but that was it. She sat on her bed and looked at me.
“So, what happened Sky?”
I looked at her and tried not to cry as I explained everything.
“Jonathan’s life is going to change drastically Katie and I know that he won’t have time for me. He's going to have tons of fans, all these girls after him and how can I possibly compete with that? By the time this starts for him we will have been dating for less than a year. I told him that we should call things off so that he can focus on his music. I don’t want to be a distraction for him.”
“Sky, I think you’re making a mistake, Jonathan really loves you. You don't have to break up with him just because he got a record deal, you guys can work it out. There are planes you know, you can fly to see him while he’s recording and touring, it’s not like you’ll never see each other. I don’t understand why you want to throw it all away.”
"Katie, let's be real. Jonathan is gorgeous, rich and talented, he's going to have tons of girls after him and tons of temptation. I don’t think it would be fair of me to expect him to stay faithful in that kind of environment. I think he needs to experience that whole rock star life thing and then, I guess, if we’re supposed to be together then maybe later on down the line it’ll happen. But for now, I think this is the best thing for both of us.”
"You know I will be there for you whatever you decide, but I think this is a big mistake.”
There was a part of me that was too afraid to admit that I was scared of how he would change and all the girls he would meet so instead of waiting for him to break my heart, I broke up with him before that could happen. I tried to tell myself that it was the right thing to do, but the more I told myself that, the less I was starting to believe it. What have I done?
*****
Graduation was the following Saturday and I managed to avoid running into Jonathan all week. I felt sick to my stomach every day and I missed him like crazy, but I kept telling myself that it was the best thing for both of us. Katie was worried about me because I was barely eating so she brought me food every day to make sure that I put something in my stomach.
She went home that Thursday and we cried as we hugged goodbye and we promised to visit each other that summer. We had already chosen each other as roommates for our sophomore year so we knew that we would be together again when we came back to school. I was going home Saturday morning and I couldn’t wait to get there so that I could have some distance between Jonathan and me. It would be much easier for me if he wasn’t living right below me. There were so many times after I broke up with Jonathan that I wanted to run downstairs and give him a hug, but I didn’t do it. I kept telling myself that breaking up was the right thing to do.
I was packing my suitcase on Friday afternoon when I heard a light knock at my door. My heart began to pound against my chest because most of the girls on my floor had already gone home and I figured that the only person it could be was Jonathan coming to talk to me about getting back together. My palms were sweaty and
my mouth was dry as I braced myself and opened the door.
I was completely surprised to see Jonathan’s aunt Lauren at my door. I gave her a cautious smile and told her to come in.
“Sorry to drop in on you like this Skylar, but can I talk to you for a few minutes?”
“Uh, sure.” I had no idea what she could possibly want to talk to me about but I was ready to listen.
“Jonathan doesn’t know that I came to see you. We’re all here for the graduation tomorrow, obviously, and I thought I would come and see how you’re doing because he told me that you broke up with him. He is taking it really hard; I’ve never seen him so sad. Do you mind if we talk about this?”
I did kind of mind but I didn't want to be rude because they had all been so nice to me, so I decided to try to help her understand what happened.