by Rachel Lee
On the other hand, Bri would be making a comparison between Jack and Luke now, and it wouldn’t be very flattering to Luke. Jack liked that idea.
Bri belonged to him, and nobody else was going to get her.
He smiled, watching the snow fall, eventually noticing how deep it was getting. He decided to check it out. If it was heavy, clearing roofs could make him a whole lot of money overnight, starting with Bri’s place, of course.
It wasn’t long before he realized he could make a few hundred bucks tonight, and more in the morning. Whistling, he got his gear together, then climbed into his battered pickup with the small plow on the front and headed straight for Bri. Feeling quite the hero, he grinned into the teeth of the storm.
Chapter 6
Bri bundled up in her snow pants and winter jacket, and found some heavy but warm work gloves. She figured she’d need some rope to tether herself in some way across the peak of the roof so she couldn’t slide off.
Rope was a bigger problem than anything else. She was going to need help.
Luke was in a mood. “Get me my jacket,” he demanded. “At least I can be on the front porch to call for help if anything happens. God, Bri, risking your neck like this...”
“If the roof caves, we’re both going to be in a world of hurts. I’m sure my neighbors are out and about.”
He looked dubious. She went and got his parka anyway, and eased him into it. At least the sleeves were loose enough to go over the cast on his arm. “Gloves?”
“In my side pockets.”
Somehow leaning over him and rummaging through his pockets felt even more intimate than all the intimacies his condition had forced on them over the past days. She felt the warmth of his breath on her cheek and a shiver ran through her. If she turned her head just a little, she could kiss him. Feel again the sexy stubble on his chin.
Good heavens, she had to stop this! Sex wasn’t enough. They’d proved that beyond any shadow of a doubt. It couldn’t make up for absence, and it sure as hell couldn’t make up for lost trust.
She bit her lip, resisting old urges and new ones all at once, and pulled his gloves out. He needed help getting them on, especially on his casted arm, but finally it was done. Reluctantly she pushed him out onto the front porch.
There was a small area by the door where the snow hadn’t deepened, and she parked him there.
Late though it was getting, she was glad to see some of her other neighbors out. Apparently she wasn’t the only one concerned about the strength of her roof.
She squeezed Luke’s shoulder. “I’m not alone out here. So if you start to get cold, for heaven’s sake tell me. I don’t think you’d make a very good icicle.”
“I wouldn’t be nearly as fun.” He astonished her with a grin and a wink of his good eye.
She wanted to slap his shoulder playfully. Playfully? No play between them anymore. She hoped the urge didn’t show on her face as she straightened.
The roar of an engine came down the street and she looked out through the blinding snow to see headlights. The truck pulled right up in front of her house. A dark figure jumped out, and by his shuffling walk she recognized Jack.
“Figured you’d be worrying about the roof,” he said.
Luke muttered, “And the superhero arrives.”
“Hush.” Bri raised her voice. “I am. There’s at least another foot predicted.”
“I know.” Jack waded slowly through the snow. “Looks like you’re not the only one. Guess I get rich tonight. Not off you, though. You I’ll do for free.”
“Jack, no!”
He stood at the foot of the steps and looked up at her. “You’re always nice to me, Bri. Not everyone is.”
That startled her. “Really?”
“Really. Shouldn’t your friend be inside where it’s warm?”
“No,” Luke said. A single uncompromising word.
Bri hastened to smooth over Luke’s obvious dislike of Jack. “Not if the roof caves,” she said.
Jack nodded slowly. “Well, let’s get to it. I got rope, I got shovels, we’ll get it down to a safer level. Then I’ll clean your walks.”
“The neighbors...”
“They can maybe wait. Not gonna take that long.”
Jack might shuffle, he might look too thin, but Bri had long since realized he was a fairly strong young man.
He looked around. “I’m gonna climb the tree to the side of your house. I need you to catch the end of the rope when I throw it down and tie it to something sturdy, like that oak over there. I’ll clean the far side first, then we’ll change, okay?”
“Okay, I can do that. Just don’t slip.”
“If I slip I’m going to land on a pillow. But I don’t plan to. You know, you really need me to put some insulation in your attic. Bet you’ve got a good ice dam going. Well, I’ll find out when I get up there.”
Bri didn’t even dare look at Luke. It must be killing him to watch Jack do something he would have been willing to do himself but for being laid up. Being the take-charge sort could become a real problem when you were helpless.
She felt bad for Luke, but really, this problem had to be dealt with.
She watched Jack climb the tree beside her house with amazing ease. It surprised her that he nearly scampered up it like a squirrel, as if he’d done it a million times. In less than a minute he was on the gable, holding on to her chimney. She watched him tie the rope around his middle.
Then he called down, “First I’m going to throw the rope down. Tie my shovel to it so I can pull it up. Next the tree.”
“Be careful,” she called again, then did as he asked with a shovel from the back of his truck. It was a heavy shovel, not the light ones usually used for snow.
She watched him pull it up, wincing a little as it banged on the porch stanchions, but finally he had a hold on it.
“Here we go, Bri,” he said, tossing the rope down again. She grabbed it from where it lay on top of the snow and dragged the end over to the oak tree. Man, she hoped she remembered how to tie a good knot.
All of a sudden one of her neighbors was there helping her. Jim Tuttle. “Navy,” he said. “I can tie any knot on the planet. Let me. Think Jack’ll do my roof, too? I wasn’t paying much attention until I heard the rafters groan a bit. Have you ever seen the like?”
“Not around here.”
Jim called out, “Secure here, Jack. My place next?”
“You got it, Mr. Tuttle. Keep the rope fairly taut, will you?”
“Absolutely.” Jim turned to Bri. “Get back up on the porch and take care of your patient.”
“Everyone knows that I have a patient, huh?”
Jim laughed. “We also know who he is. Wanna see the article in the newspaper?”
“You’re kidding!”
“Of course I am. Word travels fast, you know that.”
Yeah, she knew that. She waded through the snow and back onto the porch. “Getting cold, Luke?”
“Wild horses couldn’t drag me back inside. Nice neighbor.”
“He’s not the only one. It’s one of the things we don’t want changed around here.”
“I can see why.” Then, “Jack is sweet on you.”
“Cut it out.”
“Open your eyes, Bri. He just came racing to your rescue like a white knight. And he’s not even going to charge you.”
“I’ll pay him anyway. He knows that.”
“Maybe.” Frowning, Luke fell silent. “If you’re not interested, do the kid a favor. Nip it in the bud.”
“This from the expert on relationships?”
He glared up at her. “I wasn’t the only screwup. And maybe I’ve learned something.”
“You know, I think I’m going to take you back inside.”
“Wild horses.” He folded his arms. “Being in a wheelchair doesn’t make me completely helpless.”
“What are you going to do? Scream and hang on to the door frame?”
“Don’t put anything
past me right now.”
Her anger had been reaching a good simmer, but suddenly something else penetrated. An awareness she couldn’t quite define. A concern that turned down the temperature on her annoyance. She squatted.
“Luke? What’s going on?”
“I hate being laid up. I should be clearing that roof. But hey, maybe nothing real is going on. I had a concussion, after all. Maybe I’m just—what did the doc call it?—addled.”
For the first time it struck her how hard it must be for him to be wondering about the state of his own mind. Maybe he was being annoying. Maybe he was overreacting to Jack. But to be wondering if his thoughts were real or the artifact of the concussion? She couldn’t imagine how many times a day he must be questioning himself.
“God, that’s hard,” she murmured. The wind nearly snatched her words away.
“What?” he demanded.
“Wondering if you’re thinking properly.”
“It’s no picnic.”
An ache filled her heart, one she didn’t want to feel for this man, but it came anyway. “You’re doing a whole lot better.”
“But how am I supposed to know if I’m slipping?”
“It’ll become less of a worry with time.”
“Time. Yeah. Damn, I need to get back on my feet!”
There was little she could say to that. He must be feeling like a caged lion, but until they changed out his casts, and even then, he was going to be restricted.
“Try putting it in perspective,” she said finally.
“Really?” His expression was dark as he looked at her. “How?”
“These things usually heal in about six weeks. A little rehab to get your strength back and you’ll be right as rain.”
“Maybe.”
She didn’t dare ask him what he meant, and as it turned out, she didn’t have to.
Jack called down from the roof. Jim answered him and began to untie the rope. “Going for the front side now,” Jim said. “I need to make my way around back.”
“Thanks,” Bri called. She was going to have to make a pie for Jim, she decided. He was being really helpful, and as an older bachelor, he seemed very appreciative when someone brought him a casserole or some baked goods.
Now the view changed. As Jack shoveled snow off the front of her roof, it fell in a huge shower of heavy clumps. Before long her front yard looked as if a river ice dam had broken in it.
“He was quick about it,” Luke said almost grudgingly.
“Jack is good at a lot of things.” As soon as the words slipped out, Bri wished she could snatch them back. Knowing how Luke must be feeling that he couldn’t help with this problem and she’d said something like that? She peeped at him, and saw his expression had grown stony.
Then another question struck her. How many times had things slipped out of her during her marriage? She’d never had the best guard on her mouth, and apparently while she knew her limits at work, she’d never learned them in her personal relationships.
Memories started floating back, unwanted but coming anyway, of times she’d blurted things and Luke had gone utterly quiet. He’d always gotten over it quickly, but now she wondered how many times she inadvertently hurt him without even knowing it. Without even intending it.
“Luke...” But she didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t meant to imply anything at all about Luke. Not one thing. Only after she spoke did she realize how he might hear it.
God, this was awful.
Jack and Jim finally came around to the front of the house. “All done,” Jack said. “I’ll get your steps and sidewalk now. You do have some ice damming along your eaves, though. It’ll make it hard for snow to slip off. Gotta do something about that.”
“Not right now.”
“Of course not.” He turned to Jim. “I’ll be right over to your place, Mr. Tuttle. Just want to clear the path in case Bri’s friend has an emergency.”
Bri could almost feel Luke seething beside her. She wanted to say Luke wouldn’t have an emergency, but she couldn’t guarantee that. She spoke quickly. “Let me pay you, Jack.”
“No, ma’am. You can pay me when you let me put in that insulation.”
Luke spoke quietly. “I’m cold.”
So Bri opened the doors and pushed him inside, wondering what was coming next.
* * *
Luke had had enough of watching that skinny kid act like the hero. He knew he was being unfair, but he didn’t care. That kid—in Luke’s eyes he looked like a kid—had been helpful. He was helping the other neighbors, too. But it galled Luke to be stuck in a chair when he should be helping Bri himself.
He shouldn’t have needed the kid. Bri shouldn’t have needed him. Luke should have been able...
He drew himself up short and told himself to stop being an ass. Bri needed the kid’s help because there was no one else. She didn’t have a husband, and only now was Luke beginning to accept that he deserved some of the blame for that.
Double damn, he thought bitterly as Bri helped him out of his jacket.
“Something hot to drink?” she asked cheerfully.
What he wanted, what he’d been trying to ignore, was that the only heat he wanted was Bri’s body in bed with him. Over him, under him, he didn’t care. Coming back here had been a major mistake because all he’d managed to do was remind himself how he craved this woman. Despite everything, despite her accusations, despite her refusal to trust his word, despite it all, he still craved her.
His groin throbbed whenever she came near. It was the main reason he’d never let her go below his hips when she bathed him. He wouldn’t put either of them through that, although he supposed she might suspect what was going on. Since they’d been married, she could hardly think it was modesty on his part.
Or maybe she didn’t think about it at all. She seemed to be handling their enforced closeness a lot better than he was.
The damn wheelchair was uncomfortable, too, with his one leg stuck straight out in an unnatural position. Like it or not, he wanted to climb back into the bed, but she’d gone off so fast to make them hot drinks that he was still wearing his parka and gloves. He managed to ditch the gloves on the floor, but pulling off a parka from a seated position didn’t work, no matter how he tried to twist.
“What are you doing?”
Bri had entered the room, mugs in hand.
“Getting my parka off,” he grumbled.
She frowned and put the cups down on an end table. “You need help for that. Like it or not.”
He didn’t like it, but he bit back complaints about it as she assisted him.
“God, you’re grumpy tonight,” she remarked as she pulled the last sleeve of the jacket off him. “What got into you?”
“All of it.” Nothing and everything. He considered apologizing, then thought, to hell with it. It didn’t matter anymore what she thought of him. That had been settled years ago. When he got out of her care, he swore he was never going to look back again.
The resolution lasted until he was back in bed with his cocoa on the tray in front of him. “Sorry,” he said.
“I get you’re miserable. You’ve been handling it very well.”
“Don’t patronize me.”
Her head jerked back a few inches, then she went to sit on the chair she had been using. She stared down into her mug and remained mute.
A wave of self-disgust washed through him. He had no right to snap at her or take this mess out on her. After all, she’d taken him in when she would have been well within her rights to demand he find a way to get to a convalescent facility no matter how much it cost him.
“Bri?”
She didn’t look up.
“I’m sorry. I’m really cranky. And it’s not just about being cooped up. You know I hate being cooped.”
“I gathered.” The words were sarcastic.
“Oh, let’s not go there,” he said. “If you want to talk about the past, let’s just lay it all out for once. In the middle of a
ll the yelling and accusations, I figure we never got to the root of the real problems we had.”
At that her head raised. “So sure?”
“Actually, yes. If our relationship had been firmer, if I hadn’t been gone so much, you probably would never have believed Barbara’s lies.”
She lowered her head again, and frustration surged in him because he couldn’t read her face. “Maybe,” she said finally.
“No, it’s true,” he argued. “We both thought we could make a go of it, the way things were. And we couldn’t, could we? I heard what you said about it feeling more like an affair than a marriage. You’re right about that. My fault.”
Now she looked straight at him. “You asked me to travel with you.”
“Yes, but that would have messed up your own career. Fact is, we weren’t fair to each other. I get it. We were so crazy in love we thought we could handle it all. Instead we made a royal mess. I certainly did. How were you supposed to trust me when I was almost never there? And when we were together, we were too busy making love and romancing to get to the real nitty-gritty of relationship building.”
She cocked a brow at him. “Have you been getting therapy of some kind?”
“No, I’ve been lying trapped in this bed and doing some serious thinking for the first time in my life. Thinking I should have done a long time ago.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” she said finally. “It’s over.”
Something inside him sank like a stone. “I know,” he admitted quietly.
“So why rake it all up again, Luke? Answer me that. Hashing over our marriage isn’t going to change a thing. It didn’t work, it got ugly and we split. End of story.”
“Is it?”
“Of course it is.” She stood up. “Nothing’s going to change. You’ll finish this job and move on to the next one, and I’ll still be here doing what I love. What could possibly change?”