But he refused to stop the memories once the floodgate had opened. It was as if he was being swept away on a tidal wave of all the small moments that had made him fall in love with Eva.
He could remember the first time she’d whispered his name in his ear; he couldn’t forget the first time she told him she was in love with him.
So, Quinn dove headfirst into the memory of her velvet skin against his, her body pliant beneath his, her sigh of contentment when she thought he wasn’t looking. While a part of him insisted he stop – the memories were merely lies, after all – he refused to.
He felt he might drown in all those moments, and he found he didn’t mind so much. There was no better way to spend his life, than in her arms. And if he couldn’t do that, then the remembrance of her arms around him would have to be enough.
Quinn found himself running further and further away from himself, in those days. He found he couldn’t outrun the emptiness, and drowning in memories only held it at bay long enough for the pain to start again. He couldn’t escape the hell he seemed to be in; the sweet torment of her memory wouldn’t let him even try.
He felt Eva’s pain keenly; he hated that he had hurt her, even if it hadn’t been his intention. Quinn spent most of his time in his wolf-form, seeing no reason to do anything other than that. It seemed, too, that their bond was stronger when he was in his werewolf form. He wasn’t ready to abandon her pain, just as surely as he couldn’t ignore his own.
The nights were perhaps the worst, for each night, Quinn dreamt of her face and her eyes of laughter, only to wake up to the nightmare that she was still gone. He had returned to his former self – unable to sleep without her breathing softly beside him.
As the days began to blur into one, marked only by the movement of the moon high in the sky, Quinn began to consider disappearing into the woods for good – never to return to his tribe. He fully believed that life in the tribe would carry on without him; another would surely take his place. Even if Thomas took over the running of the tribe as a beta, it would be better than having the empty shell of Quinn as an alpha to lead the tribe.
The temptation to run and never look back tugged at Quinn’s mind, but he knew no matter how far he ran, he couldn’t outrun the bond that was a constant reminder of Eva. Wherever she was, her pain wasn’t easing, just as his wasn’t.
Quinn found himself back at the rock by the stream more often than not, but it no longer held the sense of peace it once had for him. He returned there not because he wanted to, but because it was the closest he could come to Eva without returning to his empty bed and sheets that smelled of her.
It was also the only time Quinn felt he could shift into his human form and still feel their bond as strongly as when he was in his werewolf form.
He sat on the rock, keenly aware of Eva’s missing shape next to him, pretending to try to skip stones across the water. He could still hear her laughter, as she mocked his stone skipping ability. He could still smell her freshly washed hair, feel it flow between his fingers, silky soft. He could smell her, honey and sunshine on the winds of his life.
The emptiness called to him, as the agony of his memories threatened to consume him.
Quinn skipped a stone again, and watched as it sank to the bottom of the river.
“You haven’t improved one bit,” she laughed behind him.
And the world stood still.
*
All sound seemed to disappear from the world, as Quinn turned, not trusting his ears.
She stood there, the late afternoon sunlight playing on the lighter tones of her raven-black hair, as beautiful as he remembered her. Her lips curved up in a smile, her voluptuous bottom lip red as though she had been worrying at it. She looked exactly the way Quinn remembered her – her beauty lay in her smile and her eyes, the gentle curve of her hips and the rise and fall of her chest.
Quinn would have thought he was dreaming, if it wasn’t for that slight movement of her chest as she breathed in, and out, in, out. It was singularly the most beautiful thing he could have imagined.
“Eva,” her name fell from his lips like a lullaby, and the sound of the world rushed back to Quinn.
“Quinn,” she smiled that magical smile and his world tilted sideways.
He had never known his name to be said with such gentleness, with such love and devotion. It was a call to return home, to her arms, to her heart.
Eva took a step forward, her eyes seeming to devour every inch of Quinn as she took him in. He drank her in, as she moved towards him, her scent strong on the breeze that played around her, lifting her hair as if to invite Quinn to entwine his fingers in it.
Quinn hadn’t realized he was moving until she was in his arms, face tilted up to his, as his mouth claimed hers. Every bit of Quinn’s heartbreak went into that kiss; he kissed Eva as though it were for the last time. Her hands tangled themselves in his hair, as he pulled her closer to him, hands around her waist.
Eva pushed the kiss deeper, parting her lips as she gasped against Quinn, inviting him to taste her mouth. Quinn answered willingly, her taste of honeysuckle and heaven welcoming him home.
She kissed him lightly on the lips, and rested her forehead against his, raised on her tiptoes so she could reach. Quinn closed his eyes, breathing Eva in, hands grasping her light jersey, as though afraid she might disappear if he breathed too hard.
“Open your eyes, my love,” she whispered. Quinn did as she asked, and Eva fell into his emerald green eyes, her sense of home and belonging drowning out everything else. Quinn lost himself in her eyes, those blue eyes that had haunted his dreams.
“You’re here,” Quinn whispered. “How did you know where to find me?”
Eva regarded Quinn, her face serious.
“You are my mate; I always know where to find you.”
Quinn sighed, and shook his head, “Mi amor, don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
“I’ve never meant anything more in my life, except perhaps that you need to shave. That is a tragedy,” she smiled.
Quinn’s mouth quirked slightly, “I was trying something new.”
“What? Did you think that since you’re a claimed man you could let yourself go and I wouldn’t mind?”
“If you dislike it that much, I think I might keep it,” Quinn shrugged, that tilt to his lips giving him away. “I’ve grown rather attached to my beard.”
“That works perfectly – I’ll stop shaving my legs then. It’s really such a waste of time.”
Eva burst out laughing at the look of horror on Quinn’s face.
“On second thought, you didn’t think to bring a razor with, did you?” Quinn smiled.
Eva shook her head as she smiled and kissed Quinn again, drinking him in. Quinn marveled at how she still fit against him so perfectly, the other half to his soul.
“Why did you come back?” Quinn asked, as Eva took his hand and led him over to the rock. Two pieces of the same whole slid back into place with that simple action. They sat down, Eva leaning into Quinn, right back where she belonged.
“I don’t know about you, but this bond business is rather distracting,” she shrugged. “No, Thomas came to see me. You really should give him a raise. Or start paying him, at the least. He clarified some things that were… lost in translation, shall we say.”
“He has a bad habit of doing that,” Quinn said softly.
“He was right. I was just too stubborn to see anything other than what I wanted to believe. He made me realize that my anger was misplaced,” Eva shook her head.
“Was it though? Eva, I never meant for you to find out the way you did – I just didn’t know how to tell you without it coming out sounding the way it ended up doing.”
“I know,” she murmured. “But I understand now; you have your beta to thank for that. There was nothing to fear, hard as that may be to believe. I wish you’d told me; I like to think I would have come to und
erstanding it a lot sooner. I know you think you didn’t stand a chance with me – and I know you did the best you could – but for future reference: ask a girl on a date instead of paying gold for her.”
Quinn tried to laugh, and failing miserable, managed a slightly off-centre smile instead.
“Duly noted; I’ll try that next time I meet a spitfire she-wolf who turns my world upside down,” he said.
“Who was the girl who got away, Quinn?” Eva asked the question that had been niggling at the back of her mind for as long as she had been in Quinn’s tribe.
“Do you even need to ask?”
“I need to hear it.”
“It’s you – it’s always been you. I never had the courage to ask you out as a teenager, and by the time I realized I should, we had stopped speaking – my mom had disappeared and you had forgotten about me. I was an idiot to let you live your life without me in it.”
“Yes, you were,” Eva agreed bluntly.
“At least you know how much better life is with me in it as a result,” Quinn teased.
“Yes, yes I do,” Eva sighed.
“I never meant to force you to love me.”
“You didn’t. I love you willingly.”
Quinn’s smile was gentle, yet questioning.
“I never thought you had so much of an ego, that you thought you could force me into loving you,” Eva winked.
“Listen, my ego has kept me warm on many a cold night.”
“Why haven’t you gone home?”
Quinn sighed, shaking his head. He wasn’t sure he trusted himself to explain the feeling of bereavement he had endured.
“Let’s go home, then. Together.”
They sneaked in the kitchen door, together, having successfully managed to avoid being seen by anyone in the tribe. Or, perhaps, for once, the tribes-people had decided to give them their privacy as they slunk through the village like thieves stealing into their own home.
Eva pushed Quinn into the bathroom, insisting he not resurface until he looked more like his usual self. After seeing himself in the mirror and getting the fright of his life, Quinn grimaced and agreed vehemently that he looked like the worst version of himself.
He felt like a new man when he stepped out of the shower, to find Eva waiting in bed. She lifted his side of the covers, and motioned that he climb in.
“You realize it’s the middle of the afternoon, right?” Quinn laughed.
“Do you have somewhere else to be?” she quirked her eyebrow.
“Definitely not,” Quinn lay down next to Eva, who immediately lay her head on his chest, his heartbeat enveloping her with its cadence.
Quinn listened to the sound of Eva’s breathing, her hand on his chest, ear on his heart, her scent surrounding him, and before he knew it, had fallen into a deep sleep.
It was late evening when Quinn awoke with a start. The smell of Eva on the sheets surrounded him, but her side of the bed was empty. A very real fear that it had all been a dream hit him with the force of a gale in that moment. Quinn closed his eyes against the fresh flood of pain, trying to regulate his breathing. The sound of humming reached his ears. He exhaled in relief as Eva pushed open the bedroom door, two mugs in her hands.
“Hi,” she smiled, as she handed him a steaming mug of tea. To his questioning look, she replied only, “Tea fixes everything.”
Eva climbed back in bed, and took a sip of her own tea, her cold toes finding Quinn’s under the covers.
“How long do you plan on staying?” Quinn asked when he couldn’t bear the silence anymore.
“For as long as you’ll have me.”
“And if that’s forever?”
“As if I’d settle for anything less.”
“I am going to hold you to that,” Quinn growled.
Eva smiled, “The next time you try to go full alpha on me, think twice. I’m more inclined to ignore you now.”
“I can live with that.”
“You know you’re not as scary as you think you are.”
“You’re every bit as scary as you think. If not more so.”
Eva laughed, and Quinn was mesmerized by the sound.
“I missed that sound,” he said.
“I missed you,” Eva shrugged, as though it had been nothing.
“I know.”
“You felt it too?”
“I felt every emotion as if it were my own.”
“If I ever feel you angry at yourself again, Quinn Maywell, you’d best be prepared to lose toes. You hear me?”
“Woman, what did my toes ever do to you?” Quinn gasped in mock horror.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Eva laughed. “I will not have you direct anger towards the man I claim as mine. End of story.”
“Claim, huh? Who said I wanted to be claimed?”
“Sorry, did you think you had a choice? You’re mine, and I am yours. That’s the deal.”
“Done. So, Evangeline Thomas. Will you go on a date with me?”
“You really have to do everything arse-backwards, don’t you?” Eva laughed lightly.
Quinn shrugged, “Is that a yes?”
“Do you plan on paying for my pretzel with a coupon again?”
Quinn smacked his hand to his face, the image of a twelve-year-old Quinn trying to impress Eva with said pretzel paid for with a coupon springing to mind.
“Only if it gets me a kiss under the bleachers,” he replied.
“Oh, it’s like that, is it?”
“Girl, you better put out. Those coupons don’t come easily.”
“How about you take me on that date, and if I like you, I’ll put out on the third date,” Eva’s expression was serious as she arched an eyebrow.
“Third date? Are you trying to torture me?”
“I’ve got standards, you know.”
“Who are you trying to kid?” Quinn laughed as he indicated himself.
“I didn’t say they were high standards,” Eva laughed with Quinn, who pulled her close and kissed her lightly.
“How about we fast forward to the result of the third date, and you can have all my coupons, forever?” Quinn growled against her lips.
“With pleasure.”
*
Their bodies met, as though for the first time.
They kissed, lightly at first, the soft touch of Eva’s lips against Quinn’s. Her mouth yielded to Quinn’s, soft and pliant as his mouth met hers in the darkness. As they broke the kiss, her hands cupped his face, tracing the planes of his face – she stared at him in wonderment as her fingers followed the lines of the face she loved above all else. The first of the spring storms rumbled in the distance. Her hair felt like silk in Quinn’s fingers, as he leaned his face into her hand.
Eva pulled Quinn’s face closer, needing to taste his kiss again, needing his mouth on hers. As they kissed, thunder rolled across the mountains in the distance. Quinn drank Eva in, reveling in the taste of her kiss, the satin-soft feeling of her fingertips on his neck driving him to distraction.
She fumbled at the hem of his shirt, and Quinn took her hands in his, kissing her fingertips lightly, turning her hands over to kiss her palms.
“There’s no need to rush,” he whispered against her palm, as lightning flashed in the night sky.
Eva trembled, the softness of Quinn’s breath tickling against her palm. He kissed her lightly, inside her wrist, trailing featherlight kisses up the inside of her arm, causing goosebumps to flash across her skin. He trailed his way along her collarbone, as a soft rain began to fall outside the windows.
Quinn kissed the sensitive spot under Eva’s chin, nipping at her ear, his breath tickling her. He kissed her temple, as he cupped her face in his hand. He laid kisses on the tip of her nose, her chin, her cheeks, memorizing the planes of her face as he went.
His hands trailed up her sides, barely touching her, yet still managing to send pulses of electricity through Eva’s entire body.
He pulled the shirt she was wearing – his
shirt, he noticed – over her head, as she lay down beneath him. Quinn kissed her stomach, her sides, fingers trailing lightly over her skin as he worked his way up to the soft spot between her breasts.
Eva’s breath hitched in her throat as Quinn took a nipple between his teeth, flicking his tongue over it, nibbling and sucking until all she could see was stars. Heat blossomed deep within her core, threatening to overpower her with its magnitude. She bucked against Quinn, pushing herself deeper within his mouth, needing his touch against her.
Quinn released her nipple, now hard and pulsing with a pleasant agony, as he rained kisses down on her body.
Eva gasped, as she felt his tongue lap at her wetness. The warmth of his tongue against her, combined with the gentle pulsing pressure built the heat within her. Quinn teased her, tongue dancing against her until she begged for more. Her hands grabbed at his shoulders, as her hips rose up against him. Her fingernails dug pleasantly into his skin, as Quinn shushed her.
Eva could feel herself pulsating with pleasure and heat, as Quinn continued to tease her. He pulled away, leaving her feeling bereft, as he rose up above her to remove his own shirt. Her eyes traveled hungrily over the planes of his torso as lightning flashed and the clouds roared their anger at the sky.
Quinn kissed her then, and she could taste herself on his tongue. Lost in the kiss, Eva pulled him towards her as he thrust his length into her. They groaned as one, as he returned home to her.
He began to move, excruciatingly slowly, pulling out as far as his length would allow, before slamming back into her. Eva gasped as he tortured her so sweetly; she ached for her release as she felt her body respond to Quinn’s touch.
His mouth claimed hers again, as he moved against her, filling her, completing her. Eva’s body thrummed with passion and desire as Quinn began to move faster, and faster. She pulled him closer, raising her hips to welcome him back where he belonged, her legs wrapping around his waist. As he thrust towards her, she met him, moving against him, pushing him deeper and deeper.
Eva’s nails dug into Quinn’s back, as the rain fell in droves outside. Thunder clapped across the sky, chasing the lightning.
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