*
“But why,” she pleaded, “Why am I going to die?”
Thor was still angry as they marched through the woods. She was stark naked, but the cold didn’t bother her; he wore no clothes either. She felt that changing into a wolf had to be difficult on garments.
“She is a betrayer, a trickster, all of our wolves are known for something. Mine is Baldur, the protector; he honors me with knowledge of tracking, fighting and battle. Freya,” he almost spat the name out, “is the queen of chaos, every time she has bonded with a girl in our clan, it has led to war and death.”
“Can she influence me if I don’t change?”
Thor turned on her and gripped her arms in his hands. “Listen to me Mackenzie, there are times where we must change. If we’re too hurt, or if it's the full moon, we must change, and when we do, that’s when they help us. If you can avoid changing until we get home then perhaps we can find a way to save you.” He pulled her into a hug so tight she strained to breathe.
“Home? How can my da help us?”
“Not your old home,” he turned and pointed opposite the sun, “our home across the sea.”
“I want to see my da, make sure he’s okay. Kirkpatrick said that if anything happened to me he would raze the village.”
“I’m supposed to bring you back, girl, not stay here. Besides, those aren’t your people, I am.”
“Thor, listen, I can’t explain the way I feel about you. Just saying it out loud makes me want you next to me, but this is my da, the village I grew up in, my friends; I have to make sure they’re all right.”
“The sooner we’re back home, Mackenzie, the sooner we can figure out how to protect you from her. We can’t wait around here.”
Mackenzie took a breath and tried to think, she needed to see her da and her village. They were her family. Deirdre would be worried and scared, Cesan deserved to know so he could move on, and none of them deserved to die.
“Listen, Thor,” the edge in her voice made him take notice, “I’m not sure who ye are used to dealing with, but me da is in that village, and he is me family, so I’m going. You can wait here if you want, that’s your choice.” She spat out the last part, turned without waiting for a response and leapt into the woods. The change happened without her even thinking about it. She simply wanted to run, and she did.
She landed as the wolf, elegant and beautiful. She darted through the woods marveling at the sounds and smells, the whole other world that opened up to her; the air rushing by her fur as she ran, the feel of the ground against her paws.
He told you, didn’t he?
Freya was back in her thoughts. Mackenzie wondered if her other could tell what she was thinking or if it was like talking to a person.
Do you know what I’m thinking? Are ye me?
Not exactly. If your emotions are strong enough, I know. Like I can tell how much you love your da, how Thor makes you feel weak in the knees, that sort of thing.
Mackenzie still didn’t quite understand the hjarta that Thor spoke of, but the way he made her feel when he was close, it was like she couldn’t breath.
We mate for life, and part of our curse is that we always know who our mate is, the moment we see them, though we don’t always find them.
How? Mackenzie asked as she ducked under a log, then without any effort at all, leapt ten feet over a pond. She could hear Thor behind her, beating the path with his paws.
It’s complicated girl, and we don’t have time. Thor told you about me, yes?
Mackenzie tried to keep the fear out of her thoughts, the fear of dying, or being driven mad.
He told me you killed everyone you bonded with.
She felt a sense of amusement, followed by a chuckle.
Thor’s a good lad but he has no sense of history. I don’t kill my chosen, I choose you because you are destined for greatness. You, Mackenzie, are very important, and I need you to trust me. If you do, you can save your village and your people.
Mackenzie’s emotions ran the gamut from fear of the prospect of dying, to joy at the idea she could save her people. Her bold words to Thor aside, she had no real idea what she could do to stop Kirkpatrick’s army from marching across her dun and killing everyone she loved.
Let’s say, for the moment, I trust ye, what would ye have me do?
Get to your home, get your mother's sword – you know the one?
In her mind Mackenzie nodded, and thought - since I was a little girl.
Get that first, then we’ll talk.
Just as suddenly as she appeared in her head, she was gone. Mackenzie put her focus back on the path. She only now realized that she hadn’t really known which way to go. But the wolf in her knew the way back to the dun and before the sun dipped below the eastern hills, she stood in the southern forest. She could see the dun not a mile away.
She resisted the urge to revert. If she were to sneak into the dun and get her sword, she would need to be the wolf for that, at least to get to it. Sneaking into her home, that she could do with her eyes closed!
Thor was next to her. He let out a low growl and motioned his head to the west. Mackenzie ignored him. She crossed the small field with tall grass that pushed up against the dun. She knew this part to be the most dangerous; guards on the parapets would be keeping an eye out for bandits and raiders and while she could move through the grass like a snake, anyone from above would be able to see her.
No cries came from the walls as she made her way. It only took a few moments to get to the loose grate on the south side of the castle, the one that led right to the stables. She couldn’t think of a way to move it as a wolf, so she focused, and in a span of a breath, she was the girl again. It happened so fast she didn’t even see the change.
“Mackenzie,” Thor whispered from behind her, his voice nearly startling a yelp from her.
“Over here,” she whispered back as she got her heart under control.
“I can’t fit through there,” he pointed at the grate.
“It’s the only way in. Listen Thor, ye must trust me, okay? I’ve trusted ye with my everything, can ye not trust me with the same?”
In the fading light she could see his square features scrunch in thought, his hulking body, a mountain of muscle, which was so close to her she couldn’t help but lean into him. In response, he put his arms around her and pulled her tight.
“I trust you, hjarta. Come back to me?”
“I will. Head north, to where we first met; if I’m not there by sunrise, look for me here,” she said, then she placed her lips on his and lost herself in a kiss that rang her ears.
More than moments passed as their kiss lingered. She found herself pressed up against him, her whole body aching with a need she only now understood. With a supreme force of will, she broke the kiss off; she held him at arms length, both of them breathing hard.
“What is it with us?”
“It’s the nature of who we are; we love, we fight with everything we have. There is no holding back.”
She didn’t trust herself to say anything. She simply nodded and pushed him away. She wanted to say ‘I love you’, but it didn’t feel right. Not that she didn’t but it was almost as if it was love forced on her, not one she chose.
The grate was always a pain to move, she braced her feet, grabbed one end and heaved. The grate flew up through the air, past her and landed in a clump twenty feet away. Mackenzie gazed at her hands. In the past, she could barely move the thing. It had taken months just for her to wriggle it free from the walls, then she could push it with her feet from the inside.
She took one last look around her and slipped into the drain. It was smelly and foul as she crawled through it. The other side was empty, the stable hands all having left for the night. Not that they had many horses to tend to, just the two that worked the fields.
From here, she would have to sprint through the courtyard to the servants’ entrance, up the winding stairs, and down the hall to her room. She looked up to
the walls; no one was looking down. The courtyard was empty.
She ran.
Mackenzie blinked and she slammed into the door with a grunt of pain. She opened the door an inch to peer inside; no one was about. She slipped in, ran down the hall, then up the stairs. She could hear the cooks in the larder, the two maids gossiping about her stepmother, she could even hear her da. A smile crossed her face; she longed to see him. She didn’t, however, want to see him while she was covered with filth and naked.
She found her room effortlessly, the door was unlocked and she went right in. She sighed, it felt like she had been gone for an age but in reality, it had only been a few days since she last slept in her own bed.
The tub was empty of course, the servants wouldn’t be filling it at night, but there were towels, a basin filled with cold water, and her clothes were still there. To her dismay, her closet looked as if someone had went through it.
Gwen, that bitch!
Her anger swelled as she thought about how Gwen’s eagerness to see her gone swayed her da into agreeing. Not that Mackenzie wanted him to go to war but surely her da would have thought more of it, if it weren't for the machinations of her stepmother. Mackenzie shook her head; it mattered not. Whatever life she thought to have, it was gone, good or bad. If Freya was able to help her, the odds were this would be the last night she was to see her da anyway.
She cleaned herself up as best she could, ran a brush through her hair, scrubbed her face, and braided her golden locks in her da’s favorite style. For clothes, she chose one of her simple blue gowns, one that would be easy to get out of, and no under garments.
She looked in the mirror, and only then did she realize how much the last four days had changed her. Gone was the girl she was, in her place was the woman she could see. Her shoulders were a little bit broader, her arms more defined, her face was missing the roundish quality she always had. She looked every bit the woman. She smiled, even though she was a little bit sad about the passing of her childhood so suddenly, though the excitement of her future thrilled her.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“You must eat something,” Mackenzie heard her stepmother say. Mackenzie hesitated outside the dining room, she was in a small alcove that servants often used to be near but not bother.
She wanted badly to go in there and see her da, her worry outweighed her enthusiasm though. What would she say? What would she do? She wanted to see him but she knew it was just to say goodbye, one more time.
The savory aroma of roasted meats drew a growl from her stomach. She hadn’t eaten since they killed the stag and since then, she’d run as a wolf as far as a horse could go in a day, in just a couple of hours.
Careful girl, Freya’s voice spoke to her, if you get hungry enough, the change will happen and you will eat anything you can sink your teeth into, you need to eat a lot more now.
I thought you could only talk to me as a wolf, she replied, astonished to hear Freya’s voice.
Silence answered back.
She took a breath and walked into the dining room.
“Hi Da,” she said simply.
All six and a half feet of Chief Weir shook in uncontrollable sobs as he scooped his baby girl up in a bear hug that would crush any man.
“Oh, my dear sweet lass, I’m so sorry, I should never have let ye go,” he said to her.
Mackenzie felt home, pressed against her da’s warm furs, with the smell that was his that she didn’t even notice until it was gone.
“Oh Da, it’s okay, ye had no choice, and we both know it. Ye did what was best for the dun, and that is what a chief does,” she said to him, earnestly.
Gwen’s retched voice broke Mackenzie's moment, “It’s only been four days, did he change his mind?”
She didn’t sound happy about that at all.
“Give the lass a moment to breathe, Gwen, the last four days must’ve been hard.” He took her hand and led her to the seat next to his and sat her at the table. Mackenzie’s stomach growled loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Have some food, lass,” her da said, piling a plate with mutton, venison, ham and everything else the table offered. Mackenzie couldn’t say no. She knew, and she wasn’t sure how she knew, that if she didn’t eat soon her family would know that she was a wolf now, and not a person.
As she ate, she reflected on how that idea didn’t seem to bother her. It was as if she always knew she was something else, something different. Finding out she was a wolf seemed… right, somehow.
“Gods girl, ye going to stuff your gob all night or tell yer da what yer doing here?” Gwen shrilled.
Mackenzie tried to ignore her; it didn’t work. Her exceptional sharp hearing, her vision, her sense of smell, all of it was well beyond what she previously had. Now she could hear Gwen under her breath call her a cow, and it was hard to not reach across the table and ring her neck.
“He didn’t let me go, Da, I escaped… I’m sorry but he tried to…” she found herself unable to say the words, they choked in her throat.
What can I say, the man I’m married to drugged me and tried to rape me? What excuse can I have for leaving that I didn’t already know was going to happen?
“I don’t care the reason, lass, I don’t care, yer home and that’s what I care about.”
“Well, ye better damn well care, ye daft fool. Once Kirkpatrick finds out she’s gone, he’ll march up here and kill us all. Guards,” she yelled. “Guards!”
“Gwen have ye lost yer mind? This is me baern yer talking about, I’m not letting her go again.”
“If we don’t clap her in irons and send her back, he will kill us all. Is that what ye want for your village? Do you want to see me skewered at the end of a spear, or raped by his men, is that what ye want?”
Chief Weir paused, it was clear to Mackenzie the conflict on his face, that very conflict she herself had.
“Da, Gwen, it’s okay, I’m nay staying here but for tonight,” she said quietly. The guards entered the room. They were slightly drunk as their dinner had been interrupted by Gwen’s screeching.
Her da waved them away. “It’s fine lads, go back to your drinking…”
“It’s not fine, arrest her, get her out of here, kill her if ye must but we cannot all die because of this spoiled little bitch!”
Mackenzie wasn’t hurt by Gwen’s words because she knew that she had always felt that way, since the day she married her da.
“Gwen, yer afraid, and I understand that,” her da said in a much more even tone than she expected, “but that’s no reason for this. We can figure this out as a family, the three of us,” he said, holding his hand out to her.
“Oh ye would like that, yer little whore daughter who spread her legs for every man in the village. Why didn’t ye just get yer heir from her,” Gwen screamed.
“Get out, get out of this dun, and don’t ever come back,” her da screamed. The guards who hadn’t left yet took a step towards Gwen. She looked panicked, the magnitude of what she had done dawned on her.
“Collin, no I didn’t mean it, I was just afraid,” she sputtered.
“Words like that don’t come from fear, they come from cowards. Get out,” he yelled again, tears rolled down his eyes as he spoke. Mackenzie knew her da loved Gwen, but she never understood why. She always felt like Gwen played her da and never really loved him.
The guards took her by the arm, she pleaded again as they dragged her out. “This is all your fault, ye little whore, ye should have just stayed and bore him babies like he wanted, then we would all live, ye selfish li'l…” the last bit was cut off as the guards closed the door behind them.
Her da sank into his chair and sobbed again. In her whole life she’d never seen him cry, now she had twice in one night.
“Da, I’m sorry, ye didn’t have to banish her,” Mackenzie said quietly.
“I did, lass, ye cannot know the pain she’s put me through. And to hear her speak of you that way, that was too much. Good riddance to her. Now,” h
e changed tracks suddenly, his tears drying up, “what are we to do about ye? I assume ye don’t want to go back?”
Mackenzie shuddered, the memory of Kirkpatrick was enough. If she never saw him again in life it would be too soon. “No, I can’t go back, I think he would kill me anyways,” she sighed. She wanted to tell him everything, she just didn’t know how. “Da, there’s something I have to tell ye,” she said.
“Ye can tell me, lass, start from the beginning,” he reassured her.
It all came out, so fast she didn’t stop to breathe. Her seeing the wolf in the forest days before, being bitten, spying on the battle, her disastrous carriage ride to the south, the way Kirkpatrick treated her, and then her rescue.
“He’s… I don’t know how to explain this, even to myself, but I love him, Da. His name is Thor and ye would think he was amazing. He risked his life for me, carried me away from the castle, showed me things.” She stopped, her face burned from embarrassment, as there could only be one thing he showed her.
“Ahh, I see, is he yer hjarta?”
Mackenzie’s eyes widened in shock. “How do ye know about that?”
“Ahh lass, I never told ye the whole story about how yer mother and I met…” His eyes glazed over a bit as he spoke, Mackenzie recognized the look, he got it whenever he thought of her.
“Runa…” he whispered. “All these years later and just saying her name makes me heart yearn for her. It would be twenty seasons ago we met. Yer ma’s sword and shield are not decorative, lass, they were hers. They called her a sword maiden.” He took a deep breath. “You should have seen her, she was beautiful.” He stopped to look at Mackenzie, his eyes focusing on her, “Ye look so much like her, ye know, she would be proud of you.”
Tears welled up in Mackenzie’s eyes, her throat clenched with emotions over a mother she never knew.
“Her people were raiding, and we caught them in a field not far from the coast. There was fighting all around, and suddenly, there she was, cutting through the battle like a storm. The moment I saw her, I felt something, something deep inside, it just… was right.” He wiped his own eyes; his sleeve came away wet. “Her people were not happy to part with her, that was for sure, but she called me her hjarta, and that seemed to change everything,” he said quietly. “Your mother had secrets I could only guess at, her love for me wasn’t one of them.” He reached over to Mackenzie and engulfed her in tremendous hug.
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