“Aren’t you happy for me?” Tasha queried, standing and moving to her cousin. The cousin who had always worshipped the ground she had walked on.
“Happy for you?” Sally looked at Tasha as though she was speaking a foreign language. “I might have been happy for you if you’d handled it better.” But right now, all Sally could think of was Khalid, and the guilt he’d been carrying. Not to mention her own grief.
“I know,” Tasha gripped Sally’s arm. “I’m sorry. I knew that you would worry about me. I thought I would be able to contact you eventually, to tell you that I was okay. I had no idea the Sheikh would come to you. Nor that you would agree to this marriage.”
“It was Kaman who went to my father.”
“Yes,” Tasha nodded. “But Kaman was sure your father would say no. I had told him of your parents’ enmity towards Khalid and his family. I never suspected you would be called upon to take my place.”
“And if you had? You wouldn’t have done it?”
“I … I don’t know,” she answered honestly.
“This is a complete mess,” Sally enunciated clearly. She wrapped her arms around her chest. “Why did you and Kaman kidnap me today?”
“I couldn’t let you marry him. I couldn’t let you give up your life because of a promise I had made.”
“Damn it, Tasha, it’s what I wanted!”
“No. You wanted to do something honourable, and you thought this was it. But you would have become a slave of the Kingdom, linked to a man you don’t love, who doesn’t love you. I know your temperament. I know you couldn’t have lived like that.”
“I do love him,” Sally contradicted fiercely.
Both Kaman and Tasha stared at her for a very long time. Overhead, a large gust of wind blew, and the trees that carpeted the looming mountains rustled noisily.
It was Kaman who eventually broke the silence. “Then it is a good thing we removed you from the palace, Saaliyah.”
“But why?” She cried plaintively.
“Because he doesn’t love you. He won’t love you. Ever.” Tasha put her hands on Sally’s hips. “And that would kill you.”
Her chest was burning. “That’s not your decision.”
“He’s got a lover. Hannah.” The way Tasha spat the woman’s name was confirmation that she had felt something for Khalid. Even if it wasn’t love, it was possession, at the very least.
“Not anymore,” Sally murmured. The other woman’s perfect face came to mind and she wished it hadn’t.
“Yes,” Kaman assured her. “They have been seeing one another for years. It is not likely to stop.”
“She’s married,” Sally muttered.
“And so would he have been, today.”
Sally pushed the unpalatable statement aside. Whether it was true or not, she wasn’t prepared to get distracted by what was essentially a red herring.
“I still want to marry him. I chose this fate for myself. It is nothing to do with you, Tasha. Nor you, Kaman. This is what I want. And it’s what Khalid wants.” She sucked in a deep breath. “Take me back.”
Kaman shook his head. “I can’t. You must see it’s too late for that? The Sheikh thinks you’ve had second thoughts. This is done.”
“You’re absolutely crazy,” she said loudly. “Or stupid. Or both. Abigail is there. She knows I would never leave her with a note as the only goodbye.”
Tasha rolled her eyes. “She’ll get over it.”
“I know you and Abigail have your differences, but she’s the woman who raised me. I can’t hurt her.”
“Like I hurt you, you mean?” Tasha said quietly.
“Yes.” There was no sense lying about it. “I would never knowingly put someone through that.” She narrowed her eyes. “Did you think of me at all, Tasha?”
“Of course I did. Like I said, I was going to contact you when I was sure it would be safe.”
“When? In a year? Two? I have thought of you every day! I have worried about you.”
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered. “Kaman and I want to marry. To raise our child together, as a family.”
“I understand that!” Sally, despite her foggy head, felt like she was the only one making sense. “But you can’t do that here. Look around you! What will you do if the child is sick? What will you do for school? Do you truly hope to live here undetected?”
“No. When the time is right, we will leave Tari’ell.”
“And I’m meant to stay here with you until then?”
“It’s an adventure, Sal! Like we always wanted to go on.”
Sally flicked her gaze to Kaman. “I understand that pregnancy hormones might be making Tashana speak with such an obvious lack of sense, but what is your excuse?”
He gritted his teeth. “It’s not perfect. We’ve had to make a lot of decisions in a hurry. But we’ll work it out.”
“There’s no way I’m going to go along with this.” She raised her chin at a defiant angle. “If you want me to stay you will have to keep me here against my will. I will be your prisoner in a way that is far worse than any marriage to Khalid would have been.”
Khalid paused at the doorway. His heart was hammering in his chest.
She was alive. She was speaking coherently. I will be your prisoner in a way that is far worse than any marriage to Khalid would have been.
He pushed his own sense of guilt aside and eyed his top security detail. Beyond them, in the silent fleet of military grade SUVs, Fadi was waiting anxiously.
How he could ever move past this betrayal by two people he had valued most in the world was something he wasn’t sure he could contemplate. Ever.
He expelled a sigh then lifted his hand to the door.
Despite Neman’s insistence that the security team infiltrate the home first, Khalid had been determined. He wanted to see the looks on their faces when he confronted them in their lie.
He pushed it inwards and crossed the threshold of the modest home.
His eyes went first to Sally. Braced against a wall, pale and sick looking, still in the grip of Tashana. His eyes moved over Tashana before landing on Kaman.
His best friend.
His cousin, yet more of a brother.
A traitor.
It was no consolation that Kaman began to shake uncontrollably.
It was, undoubtedly, fear of retribution that motivated the emotion.
“Khalid.” Sally’s voice was a whisper in his ears. He cracked his head back and met her terrified eyes. It spurred him to action. He strode quickly to her, putting himself between Tashana and his betrothed.
He was an implacable wall of muscle. Strong and almost super human. Sally stared at him with a thousand feelings in her face. “How did you know we were here?”
His lips were a grim slash as he studied her face. “Your abductors made a crucial error. They are not the only ones who know of this lodging.”
“Fadi,” Tasha groaned, slapping her palm to her forehead.
“Fadi?” Kaman repeated.
“I mentioned it. Once. I told her where we used to come to meet.” Her cheeks flushed.
“Fadi.” Sally reached for Khalid’s arm. She felt weak. She held him for support alone.
“Yes. It appears their treachery knew no bounds,” he agreed quietly, putting his hand over hers. He was worried for her. And his worry eclipsed anything else he felt.
He turned his attention to Nemen. “Bring them to the palace. Contain them until I am ready.”
He put an arm around Sally’s back. He shepherded her out of the house and into the waiting SUV.
He didn’t say a word until they were back at the palace and alone in his suite of rooms. Then, he spoke only to ascertain her comfort.
“Abigail will be here soon. Please, stay there,” he murmured, when she went to stand.
“I’m fine.” She ran a hand through her hair. It was wild and loose around her face.
“I’ll be the judge of that,” he muttered. As if conjured from thin air
, a woman appeared at the door, her expression blank.
“This is Doctor Diyani. She is to check you over. I will be just outside.”
Sally bit back the urge to ask him to stay. Her adventure notwithstanding, nothing had changed between them. She was still the woman who loved him in a way he didn’t welcome.
Sally suffered through the medical examination in silence. Her brain was sluggish.
“You are unharmed. You need to rest for a day or two. You’ll probably have a headache for at least that time while the sedatives leave your body. No operating heavy machinery. No alcohol. Take it easy.”
Sally shot her a look that carried a hint of sardonic impatience. “I think I can manage that.”
Khalid swept into the room as the doctor left. “Well?”
“I’m fine,” she said, her eyes meeting his for the briefest possible time.
He came to sit beside her. She had been fine, too. Until he put an arm around her shoulder, and brought her to his chest.
It was the sympathy that did it. She felt a sharp throb of grief and she sobbed against him. “I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe she’s alive.” Sally shook her head, trying to bring her feelings into check.
“No,” he agreed. “It is quite shocking.”
She looked up at him, her heart beating heavily against her rib cage. “Did Fadi tell you that Tasha is pregnant?”
“Yes.” His lips quirked into a frown.
Sally would never be able to think of her cousin in the same way again. But she felt a swell of sympathy for their foolish, rash decisions. “They were scared of how you’d react.”
He flicked his eyes to her. “And you? What do you think I would have done, if they’d come to me?”
“I think you would have released Tasha from her commitment to you, and congratulated Kaman on his fine choice of bride.” She blinked as more tears wet her eyes.
Something unfamiliar was warming his soul. “Yes,” he said finally. “I would have given Kaman anything. I would not have begrudged him this happiness. I never sought Tashana for any reason other than her bloodline.”
“My bloodline,” Sally added quietly, and unnecessarily.
His fear was now real. “I would release you too, if you wished it.”
Pain and worry were dancing down her spine. “Why would you say that?”
“Because I think you want … and deserve … more than I am offering.”
“I know.” Her heart was no longer beating. There was an empty cavity in place of where her heart had once been. It was keeping her alive, but it was no longer capable of emotion. “I understand.”
“And still you wish to marry me?”
“Yes.”
She did.
But she promised herself she would never again burden him with her love. She would always feel it, and never show it. For to love him was to wound him, and she loved him too much to do that.
* * *
“Khal asked me to check on you.”
Sally didn’t acknowledge Jamil’s arrival. She kept her eyes focussed on the shimmering water of the pool, and the mountains of Allani in the background.
Jamil sighed heavily, still unsure what to make of her new sister-in-law. “He worries about you.”
Again Sally didn’t react.
Jamil took the seat beside her, arranging her kaftan over her black bathers. Saaliyah ash-Hareth was clearly determined not to discuss her happiness or lack thereof.
Jamil tried a different approach. “This heat is unbearable, isn’t it?”
Sally’s smile was a tiny flicker on her face. “I like it. Having grown up in London, I find any day like this almost unbelievably heaven-sent.”
“Not me. A few warm days is fine. But a heatwave such as we are in? No, not for me. It’s sweltered since your wedding.”
And it had. A full month of hot days and sultry nights, with barely a whisper of rain to bring the promise of relief. The desert smoked, the city sweltered and the palace simmered. And Sally? Sally burned. Her heart, her soul, her desire and her mind were all burning constantly, and there was never a way to extinguish the flames.
“I would have thought you’d be used to it.”
Jamil regarded her with a casual expression. “You’re so different to your cousin.”
At the mention of Tashana, Sally experienced the now familiar juddering of her heart. “In what way?” She rendered the question in a resigned tone.
This was not the first time Jamil had tried to broach the subject of Tashana. Sally couldn’t have said what had changed. Only that something had shifted in the last few days. Her sense of betrayal was less intense. Her anger less pronounced.
“All the obvious ways of course,” Jamil murmured, and Sally presumed she meant Tashana’s overwhelming beauty and glamour. “But you are also a natural stateswoman. Very politically minded, and able to see all sides of an argument. I think you complement my brother in a way she never would have.”
Sally’s arched brows were the only hint she gave that she was surprised. “An interesting observation. But I don’t know if I agree.”
“That’s because you’re also loyal in a way she never was.”
Sally’s long-held habit of defending Tasha was slowly dying. Though she did say, quietly, “Try not to judge Tashana on one set of circumstances. What happened here was both unpredictable and uncharacteristic.”
“Mmm,” Jamil murmured with a disbelieving pout. “I believe you said as much to my brother, hence his leniency with them.”
“Leniency?” Sally thought of the house arrest Kaman and Tashana had been placed under with a dubious frown.
“Yes, leniency. Being forced to reside in a suite of the palace is barely a punishment. In fact, it’s little different to what they were doing in the lead up to their wedding.” Jamil’s cheeks flushed. “What would have been her wedding to Khal, I mean.”
“I know.” Sally stood up, stretching her arms above her head.
“Are you going inside?”
“No.” She eyed the water. “I’m going to swim.” She walked to the water’s edge with the grace she exhibited at all times. Jamil, despite her determination not to care about her sister-in-law, felt a growing wave of concern for the beautiful Emira.
Sally dove in, swimming a full length beneath the surface. She employed a breaststroke to bring her back to the pool coping nearest to Jamil. “What would you have had happen?”
It took Jamil a moment to catch the thread of conversation. “To Kaman and your cousin?”
Sally’s smile was genuine. “Yes. To our cousins.”
Jamil kicked one ankle over the other. “I don’t know,” she admitted finally.
“They did a great many things wrong, but their motivation was love for one another, and a fear of losing that love. Don’t you think that warrants some forgiveness?”
Jamil scowled. “No.”
The laugh surprised Sally. She hadn’t laughed in a very long time. It sounded rusty to her own ears. “Surely love is the best explanation for their behaviour. Neither wanted financial gain. In fact, both are significantly worse off financially than before. Same too with power. Tashana would have been Emira, had she married your brother. She could have ignored her feelings and gone through with it. But she didn’t. As much as I disagree with their methods, I do admire the lengths they went to for love.”
“Would you have done what she did?”
Sally dipped lower in the water. “No.”
“Because you are honourable.”
“Some would call it honour, others would call it foolishness.” She turned a somersault beneath the surface then kicked back up. “I greatly admire your brother but I also disagree with him from time to time. One of the things I think he has wrong is his opinion of marriage.”
“Oh?” Jamil prompted, her fascination genuine.
“I do not think a loveless marriage is a good idea. Generally, in fact, I think it’s a recipe for disaster.”
“And
yet you married Khalid.”
Sally laughed again, this time at Jamil’s easy assumption that theirs was a loveless marriage. She was right, for the most part. Despite Saaliyah’s undying feelings for the Sheikh, there was no love between them. Not from him, anyway. And, as if wary of encouraging her childish obsession, he’d made a point of barely speaking to her since their wedding.
“I didn’t love anyone else,” Sally pointed out seriously. “Tashana did.”
“So what? You think they should be forgiven?”
“Yes. Eventually. Not by us. Neither Khalid nor I are people who could easily accept such disloyalty and betrayal. But their punishment will cease once enough time has passed.”
“How can you be so calm about it?” Jamil wondered quietly.
“Easy.” Sally smiled at her sister-in-law. Her expression was unknowingly angelic, wiped of makeup and surrounded by wet hair. “I thought Tashana was dead. Losing her was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I prayed and hoped on everything in this world that I could have her back, under any circumstances. And now I do. I have her back. I’ll never feel the same about her, but I am grateful she’s not dead.”
“Your forbearance is completely foreign to me.”
Sally laughed. “I don’t yet know if it’s forbearance or stupidity.”
“Perhaps a bit of both.”
Sally would have been nervous, at one time, to ask what she was about to. But loving Khalid as she did, and knowing he would never love her back, had broken her spirit in a permanent way. She no longer had pride, nor hope. Or self-conscious doubts. “You’re being nice to me.”
Jamil’s amused expression showed why she was considered by the gossip magazines to be one of the most beautiful women in the country. “Yes.”
“You used to not be.”
“Yes.”
Sally laughed again, and she realised she was enjoying the sound. “But why?”
“You make my brother happy.”
It sobered Sally immediately. She fixed Jamil with a look of surprise then paddled away from the edge. She swam two quick laps, but still her heart pounded hard in her chest.
Jamil waited until Sally surfaced for longer than a minute, her eyes carefully regarding the English woman. “Does that surprise you?”
Pairs VIII Page 13