‘Wait.’ Lily scrunched up her eyes. ‘Goodbye Granddad. I love you loads and loads and if you can hear me, give Boris a big hug from me.’
Joy smiled and Lily opened her eyes. ‘Now I’m ready.’
‘Ok. One, two, three.’
Lily released the two balloons. They floated upwards and Joy let hers go too. Lily started waving at the balloons and as they drifted further away, Joy found herself waving too. She smiled at the thought of her parents somehow reading the note, knowing what a brilliant legacy they had left behind in Alex. For the first time, the lump in her throat that was always there when she thought of them was a little bit smaller. Lily had helped her too.
Lily leaned into Joy’s side and Joy knelt down and hugged her. She spotted Finn and presumably Lily’s dad over her shoulder, watching them from Finn’s back garden. Finn was obviously angry but thankfully Lily’s dad just seemed to be relieved that Lily was ok.
Joy pulled away and indicated to Lily that her dad was there. Lily hung back, clearly worried that her dad would be angry.
Her dad came through the gate and ran across the grass towards them and Lily, obviously realising she wasn’t going to get shouted out, ran straight into his arms.
‘Oh Lilyloodles, I’m so sorry,’ he said as he held her tight. ‘I was so caught up in my own grief that I didn’t think about yours.’
‘That’s ok Daddy, losing your parents is very sad,’ Lily said, clearly now the expert on grief. ‘Joy lost both her parents twenty years ago and she still misses them every day.’
Joy blushed and chanced a glance at Finn who had also come through the gate into her garden. Yes, he was definitely pissed.
‘We can go and visit his grave tomorrow if you like,’ Lily’s dad was saying.
‘I know it makes you sad, Daddy, but I’d just like to talk about him sometimes.’
‘We can talk about him any time you want.’
Still holding her in his arms he stood up and smiled at Joy. ‘Thank you.’
She smiled and he carried Lily back into Finn’s house. And then she was alone with Finn.
In one giant stride he was in front of her. She started to defend herself but was silenced with his mouth as he kissed her.
Her heart leapt, and she felt herself go hot and cold simultaneously. Something inside her melted like an ice cube sizzling on hot skin. Her mouth was still open – half in shock, half with the unsaid words she’d been about to say. And then she started kissing him back, her hands in his hair as he pulled her against him.
His tongue touched hers and something zapped through her, all senses and synapses firing up, so his every touch washed over her in great waves of desire. He was really good too, but so not what she expected. Despite his size, she imagined his kisses to be gentle and soft, and though there was an element of that, there was also passion, an undeniable hunger from him. This was a kiss that was about to lead to something more – in about five seconds, clothes were going to get torn off and Joy suddenly didn’t care that they were in broad daylight and people might see them.
But as abruptly as it had started, it was suddenly over as Finn snatched himself away, obviously aware of where the kiss had been heading.
He didn’t say anything as he stared at her but he didn’t look pleased, as if she had just grabbed him and kissed him.
His hand was still on her arm and he let it fall to her hand, linking fingers with her. ‘Thanks for looking after Lily.’
‘That was some thank you kiss.’
He let go of her hand and after a few seconds of avoiding her eyes, he walked back towards his house without looking back.
*
Finn took a swig of his beer and stared up at the stars. The sky was clear, thousands of stars peppered the darkness like glitter. What was he going to do about Joy? He’d now got a date with her tomorrow to cook together, and he’d kissed her. His strict rule of not letting anything happen between them was quickly crumbling. He’d seen her briefly that afternoon, a few hours after the kiss. He’d been in the front garden when she had popped outside to put her rubbish in the bin. She hadn’t noticed him at first, as there was what appeared to be a pie dish left on her doorstep, which caught her attention. He’d watched as she’d lifted the foil and smiled at the contents underneath. Something from Casey no doubt, the man was a devil in the kitchen and he had left numerous things for Finn over the years.
Then, just as she’d been about to go back in the house, she saw him and the smile she flashed him was like a punch to the heart. How could he love her, it didn’t make sense. He had known her for about a week, he couldn’t possibly love her. But with Pippa it had taken mere seconds and he wasn’t going to make that mistake again. It was lust, pure and simple. Especially if that kiss had been anything to go by. It had almost developed beyond the point of no return right there on her back lawn. He just had to back off a bit. He wouldn’t hurt her by reverting to his foul moods, but he could still cool things down between them.
He heard Joy’s back door slam open, and despite his best intentions, he found himself looking over the low wall at her.
She came rushing out, her breathing fast, accelerated, as she seemingly tried to get something off herself. She was patting down her arms, legs and clothes, desperate to be rid of it. But whatever ‘it’ was, he couldn’t see anything.
Suddenly, she ripped off her vest top, quickly followed by her bra. Seconds later, her shorts and pants joined the pile of clothes on the floor. She was completely naked as she rubbed her arms and legs down, shaking her hair out too, making small little whimpers of panic as she picked things off her skin.
Chapter Eleven
He found himself taking a step towards her, concerned by her panic, but then a movement caught his eye behind her. Zach was standing in his garden, staring at her too. But where Finn was looking at her with worry, Zach was looking at her only with desire.
Zach suddenly let himself through the connecting gate and moved quickly to her side. His hands on her made Finn furious.
‘Joy, are you ok?’ Zach said.
She looked up, suddenly noticing his arrival for the first time, even though he was standing right in front of her, with his hands on her waist.
‘Zach, they’re everywhere.’
‘What are?’
‘The ants, they’re all over me, look they’re on my arms, they won’t get off.’
‘There’s nothing on you.’
‘God your eyes are amazing.’
‘Erm… thanks.’
‘So blue. Like turquoise. No purple, they're bright purple, like Cadbury’s purple. They're so vivid. Oh look the ants are on you too, quick get your shirt off.’
To Finn’s disgust Zach was very quick to respond; yanking his shirt over his head and letting it fall on top of Joy’s discarded clothes. As his hands moved back to her waist he moved in closer. His eyes scanned down her body as she tried to pick the ants off him too.
‘You’re so beautiful, Joy. Why don’t we go inside and we can pick the ants off each other.’
Finn felt his hands clench into fists at his side.
She must have caught the look of desire too because she suddenly giggled.
‘You’re trying to get me into bed.’
‘I’ve been trying to get you into bed since I first laid eyes on you. Tonight’s no different, except you’re already naked.’
‘Except tonight, I might just let you. I do feel very horny.’
Zach couldn’t help the stupid grin from spreading on his stupid face. ‘You do?’
‘Oh yes, I think it’s the ants, they make me horny, them and Finn.’
His face fell at that, and now Finn found himself smiling with a smug satisfaction.
‘Finn makes you horny?’
‘Oh yes, god yes. I keep having sex dreams about him. Can’t help it. At first it was bloody annoying, but now I really like them.’
‘Have you had any dreams about me?’
‘No, but it doesn�
�t matter, I’ll still shag you anyway.’
Zach clearly thought about this for a moment. Joy was obviously settling for Zach rather than him being first choice. But it didn’t damage his ego that much that he was going to pass up on the chance of sex when it was offered so willingly.
He shrugged and took her hand and started pulling her back towards the house. Joy, giggling like a school girl, followed.
Finn suddenly found himself striding through the gate and blocking their way back into her house.
‘As much as I’d hate to interrupt this little party, you’re not sleeping with her tonight,’ Finn growled.
Zach laughed. ‘Jealous?’
‘No, she’s clearly off her face on something and I don’t think she’s in the right frame of mind.’
‘Finn!’ Joy finally realised he was there and grinned up at him. He looked down at her, her pupils were huge.
‘Shit what the hell did you take?’ He took his shirt off and wrapped it round her.
‘Nothing.’ She grinned again, then her eyes travelled over his body in the same way Zach had looked at her a few moments before. ‘I had some quiche, mushroom quiche, then I started feeling funny, but my god did that quiche taste good. I nearly ate the whole thing.’
‘Shit,’ Finn muttered. ‘Magic mushrooms?’
‘Is that bad?’ Zach said.
‘It causes severe hallucinations, hence all the talk about the ants and your eyes being purple.’
Her eyes were wide with excitement. ‘Magic? Do I have magical powers now?’
‘Where did you get these mushrooms from? Don’t tell me you just picked them from the woods?’
She frowned slightly. ‘They were in the quiche. Someone gave me the quiche. Did fairies bring it, magical mystical fairies with magical mystical quiche?’
‘Someone gave you the quiche?’
Joy nodded absently as she moved to stroke a hand across Finn’s chest.
‘Are we going to have a threesome?’ she asked, her eyes lighting up with delight. ‘I’ve never had one before, it might be fun.’
Finn tried to stop her from unbuttoning his jeans.
She tutted with annoyance and turned back to Zach. ‘Are we going to have sex or not?’
‘Yes.’
‘No you’re not. If she wants to have sex with you when she’s not high on something that’s her problem, but I’m not letting you sleep with her when she’s in this state.’ Finn glared at Zach, daring him to argue, daring him to take one step closer to the house with Joy. But he clearly could tell this was not an argument he was going to win. Holding his hands up in defeat, he backed off.
‘Maybe another time, eh Joy?’
With a look of amusement at Finn, Zach disappeared back through the connecting gate again.
Finn looked back down at Joy who was busy trying to get ants off his chest, seemingly not even aware that Zach had gone. She was clearly wearing some pink glittery lipstick that Lily often wore, making her look childlike and vulnerable.
‘What are you wearing on your lips?’
‘It’s Lily’s, I just found it, I thought it made me look pretty.’ She tried to pout in a sexy way, but failed.
He sighed, cursing himself for getting involved. He’d promised himself he was going to have nothing to do with her and yet she had forced herself into his life whether he liked it or not. He didn’t want to have this need to protect her, yet it was inherent in him, like the need to breathe.
He took her hand and, leading her back through the connecting gate, he went back into his own house.
‘Are we going to have sex Finn?’
‘No.’
‘Because I’m not your type?’
‘That’s right.’ He pushed her gently down onto the sofa.
‘And because you hate me?’
The hurt and pain in her voice threw him. He pulled the shirt around her, helping her to put her arms through the sleeves and then buttoning it up. He sat down next to her.
‘I don’t hate you Joy, that’s the problem.’
She turned towards him, curling her knees up and resting them on his lap. She started picking ants off his body again.
‘They won’t come off,’ she mumbled.
‘They won’t hurt you, just try to ignore them.’
She brushed her hand over his chest, trying to sweep the ‘ants’ away, until her hand came to rest on his nipple, the pierced nipple. He shifted uneasily. If she thought the piecing was an ant and tried to rip it out, that would hurt a lot. She was staring at it, her eyes wide. For safety’s sake, he gently removed her hand from it.
‘You know what I want to do Finn, more than anything?’
‘What’s that?’
Suddenly and unexpectedly, she bent her head and ran her tongue over his nipple, straight over where the metal bar went through the skin.
A wave of desire crashed through him and he had to swallow back the moan that nearly erupted from his throat.
She sat back up again, her eyes were still so dark, but lust filled now. ‘I’ve wanted to do that for so long.’
Finn didn’t trust himself to speak at all.
She looked at him and blushed furiously. ‘I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I did that.’
She moved to get up, but he stopped her, his arm round her as he pulled her against him.
‘It doesn’t matter. Stay here till your head is a bit clearer, why don’t we watch some TV for a bit?’
She looked into his eyes in confusion. ‘You’re not angry?’
He shook his head, and grabbed the remote, switching on the TV in the hope that he could distract her from doing it again.
She leaned into him, which did nothing to stop the inappropriate feelings from flooding through him. She laid her head on his shoulder and a few minutes later she was fast asleep.
He pulled a blanket over her and kissed her head.
How could she possibly think he hated her? He was head over heels in love with this crazy, beautiful redhead and there didn’t seem to be a single thing he could do about it. But enough was enough, he wasn’t going to hurt her anymore.
*
Joy stirred and opened her eyes. For a second, she had no idea where she was, then she saw Finn watching her from the chair on the other side of the room.
She sat up in confusion, realising she was in his lounge. Her head was pounding and her stomach rolled. She quickly realised she was only wearing Finn’s shirt, that she was naked underneath. She pulled the shirt down to her knees in embarrassment.
His bare chest was covered in a thin sheen of pink glitter, though around his nipple, the pink glitter was concentrated in what was clearly the shape of a mouth. Suddenly memories of the night before flooded through her. Memories of stripping naked in her garden, of Zach’s offer of sex, and with horror she recalled licking Finn’s nipple.
She let her head fall into her hands. ‘Oh god, oh no.’ She couldn’t look at him. ‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be.’
She peered at him through her fingers. He didn’t look angry. He stood up and knelt in front of her, offering her a glass of water. ‘Are you feeling ok?’
She took the glass and stared at him. ‘Why are you being so nice?’
‘I can be nice.’
She rubbed her hand across her face. ‘Oh god it’s like Jekyll and Hyde. One second you’re been all sweet and lovely and wonderful, and the next you’re yelling at me over something stupid. Two days ago you shouted at me because I’d managed to get Lily covered in mud when I was looking after her, yesterday you apologised, brought me flowers, practically asked me on a date–’
‘It wasn’t a date.’
Joy ignored the interruption. ‘… and kissed me. You kissed me. Jesus, that kiss was like nothing else. You can’t tell me that you didn’t feel anything from that kiss. Then you ignored me for the rest of the day. You couldn’t even smile at me when I saw you last night. Now, you’re being all sweet and looking after
me. I molested you. Oh god, I’m no better than Craig Peters, forcing myself on you when I was…’ She tried to recall what had happened, had she been drunk?
‘Hallucinating,’ Finn supplied helpfully. ‘Probably from a dodgy mushroom quiche.’
There had been the quiche that someone had left on her doorstep, she had presumed it was a peace offering from someone in the village. She had eaten the quiche, made some more maquettes for her next few strikes, eaten some more quiche and then… the ants. They had been all over her, in her hair, her clothes, even under her skin. She shuddered as she thought about it, but now her mind was a bit clearer she knew she had been hallucinating. Finn had said as much the night before, that she was off her face on something.
‘The big difference between you and Craig Peters is that you molested someone that actually wanted to be molested.’
Joy felt her eyebrows shoot up into her hair.
‘I really fucking like you, shit – it’s driving me insane how much I want you. I’ve been trying to deny it and punishing you for my feelings. It’s not fair on you and I’m sorry. That kiss, you… licking my nipple, it’s just making it so much worse. But it’s not just lust or sex. I want to take care of you, not because I think you need taking care of, because you clearly don’t, but because I want to look after you and protect you.’
Joy put her hand on his face, stroking the stubble on his cheeks.
‘But this is exactly how I fell for Pippa and I can see it’s happening all over again.’
She let her hand fall from his cheek. ‘I’m not Pippa.’
He shook his head. ‘I can’t do a relationship. I just can’t. And I don’t just want sex either because I’d get hurt or I’d end up hurting you and I really don’t want to do that. I promise, no more angry looks or stupid mood swings. But I’m hoping we can be friends. And as your friend I’d like to take care of you. So are you hungry?’
She nodded, unable to find any words.
‘Eggs on toast? Eggs are supposed to be good for settling the stomach.’
She nodded again and Finn stood and quickly made for the kitchen.
*
‘I need to have a shower and walk Darcy,’ Joy said, sleepily, trying not to stare at the strange nice version of Finn that had manifested itself overnight. Over breakfast there had been secret smiles and little looks and it was confusing as hell for her. At least she knew where she stood when he was angry and grumpy.
Beneath the Moon and the Stars Page 16