Joy felt hot angry tears prick her eyes but when she spoke her voice was low. ‘I know you don’t trust me, you’ve made that very clear with your refusal to give me your heart…’
‘That has nothing to do with this…’
‘It has everything to do with this, because if you trusted me enough with your heart you wouldn’t be standing in front of me now accusing me of something so appalling. I don’t have many friends as you are well aware and I’m not in the business of stabbing in the back those that I do have. I would never do this to Casey and he at least knows that.’ God, she hoped he did.
‘So where were you Tuesday night, you were out for hours?’
‘I can’t tell you that. I’m hoping that if we have any kind of future together, you can find it in you to trust me in this. Trust me when I say I didn’t have anything to do with the theft at Casey’s parents’ house or any of the other robberies.’
Finn opened his mouth to speak but then Casey burst through the back door. He took in the situation in seconds – Finn’s angry stance, the tears in her eyes – and quickly moved between them.
‘Get out,’ he said to Finn. ‘You have no right to come in here accusing her like this. This is my business, my case and it’s mine to deal with how I see fit – and accusing one of my friends is not how I wish to play it. If you wish to pursue this, if you go to the police behind my back, then our friendship is over, do you understand me.’
Joy was stunned, riddled with guilt that Casey would choose her over Finn, the man he had loved for fifteen years. She couldn’t allow it. ‘Casey, no, you don’t have to do that.’
Finn stepped back, shocked. ‘Casey, I’m doing this for you…’
‘Just get out.’
Finn glared at her for a moment, then left, slamming the door behind him.
Casey watched him go and turned back to face her. He was livid.
‘Casey, I swear, I didn’t…’
‘I know.’
She stared up at him, furiously wiping the tears from her eyes. Suddenly an idea came to her. ‘I can prove it.’ She moved quickly to her rucksack and rummaged inside for her camera. ‘I have photos of my latest strike, from the other night. They’re time stamped, I haven’t loaded them onto the website yet, look let me show you…’ She trailed off as Casey stopped her with his hand.
‘I don’t need to see any proof Joy. I know you didn’t have anything to do with this. I pride myself on being an excellent judge of character; it’s one of the most important parts of my job. Finn, sadly, has never been a good judge of character. As far back as I can remember, he’s made bad decisions. The women he slept with who sold their stories to the papers, Pippa who I hated from the first moment I met her, and now this. He can’t see the good from the bad and the ugly.’
Joy laughed despite her tears. ‘Am I the good or the ugly?’
‘Oh, hideous, grotesque, some might say.’ He wiped her tears from her cheek and pulled her into a big bear hug. ‘Finn is fiercely loyal to me and if he knew you a little better he would do the same for you.’
She released her face a little from his chest so she could breathe and speak. ‘He sort of did. He said he hid my maquettes so you wouldn’t see them. It just hurts that he would think me capable of doing this.’
‘He doesn’t know you, he’s tried to push you away because he’s afraid of getting hurt. If he knew you like I do, he wouldn’t think it. But we’ve known each other for over thirty years, when it comes to loyalty he’s bound to choose me over you.’
‘He doesn’t have to choose at all.’
‘I know, he’ll come round, don’t judge him too harshly.’
‘I’m not sure if I want him to come round at all now.’
Casey sighed into the top of her head.
*
Joy had waited for it to get completely dark before she loaded her gear back into the car. National Heritage had emailed The Dark Shadow that morning, saying how impressed they were with the two strikes she’d done in the local woods so far but how they were hoping to have all three done before the forthcoming bank holiday as they wanted to have a nature trail including the three strikes en route.
She was out tomorrow night for her birthday so she knew she had to do it tonight. It was just an inconvenience that her last local strike was so close to Ashton Manor, there might be some kind of police presence.
Finn’s house was in darkness so she guessed he was already in bed. Safe in the knowledge that he hadn’t seen her, she got in her car and drove off.
*
Finn sat up in his car as he watched her drive off. So she was taking the stuff back. That was something he supposed. But he wasn’t going to lose Casey’s friendship over this; he had to prove to him he was right. Or maybe he just had to prove it to himself that she wasn’t to be trusted, then he wouldn’t feel such a fool for pushing her away so spectacularly when he loved her so much.
He had seen her loading her car up and as she went back to her shed for more boxes he had hidden himself in the front seat of his car.
He watched Joy round the bend and disappear from sight. He turned the car on and pulled out onto the road. He kept his headlights off as he picked his way round the quiet country lanes, following her tail lights as she made her way towards Ashton Manor.
*
Joy had spent the day stewing about Finn and how hurt she had been by it. But he’d got one thing right. It was time to leave the village, time to move on and put the whole nasty episode behind her. After being let down by the villagers, the only thing that had been keeping her in the village was Finn, but now he’d let her down too. The threats from the villagers had stopped for now, but they would always hate her and there was seemingly nothing she could do about that. There was nothing keeping her in Bramble Hill anymore.
But she still couldn’t get Finn out of her head – every time she closed her eyes, he was there, touching her, kissing her, caressing her – and now it hurt even more after his betrayal. She had to exorcise her demons somehow and it wasn’t until she had been carving unseeing for about ten minutes that she realised what she was creating. For the first time in her life, her art had become personal. Even though she knew it was a mistake, that she would regret it after, just like her night of passion with Finn, now she’d started she couldn’t stop.
*
Finn stood, touched at the magnificence of it. He was stunned at the fine lines, the detail, the muscles, the contours of the flesh, all captured intricately. Every line, every groove erotically captured in full – the night before with Joy. Carved into the fallen oak was a life-sized Finn and Joy, limbs tangled, eyes closed with desire, her head thrown back in ecstasy as he kissed her throat. It was beautiful.
He had seen her car disappear into the trees and he’d got out of his own car and followed her on foot. Knowing she was heading for Ashton Manor, he had pulled his camera out of his pocket and primed it ready for filming as he stealthily made his way through the trees.
He had watched unseen as she unpacked her trunk with chainsaws and other power tools and then to his utmost confusion, he’d watched in horror as she had started to carve.
The camera lay forgotten in his hand as he stood there over the three hours it took for her to finish her masterpiece. He felt sick at the accusations he had foisted on her earlier that day, now it all made sense – the secrecy, the black clothes, even the plasticine models. Joy was The Dark Shadow.
She finally turned off her chainsaw and ran her fingers over the shoulders, the arms and the back of the wooden Finn, carefully brushing off all the sawdust. She sighed sadly and he found himself stepping forward to hold her.
Suddenly she turned round and she froze when she saw him. Then her face crumpled and she launched herself at him, hitting and slapping every part of him she could reach.
‘You bastard. You couldn’t just trust me could you? This is all I have, this is all I am. My parents are dead, I haven’t had a home in eleven years. I’ve moved around s
o much I don’t have any friends. I gave you my heart and you threw that back at me. This is the only thing I have – but now you’ve ripped this from me as well.’
Keen to avoid the bruises, he pinned her quickly to the nearest tree with his weight and caught her hands to stop her hitting him.
‘I’m sorry.’ She struggled against him, but he was stronger. He brought her hands to his mouth and impulsively kissed her knuckles. ‘I’m so sorry.’ He felt the fight go out of her and she slumped against him. He kissed her forehead. ‘I swear, I’ll never tell anyone who you are or what you do. You have my word on that.’
She pushed him away from her and he let her.
‘Until the next time you fall out with me or decide you hate me again. Then you’ll decide that will be an opportune moment to out me.’
‘And don’t you think your talent will be enough to carry you? Joy, you’re amazing…’
‘It’s the mystery that is the success of The Dark Shadow – the creations that appear overnight, no one knows who did them or even when as sometimes my sculptures take days to be discovered. Without the mystery, the intrigue, there is no Dark Shadow.’
He watched her as she walked back towards the carving, shaking her head sadly.
‘Casey knows?’ he asked quietly.
‘Yes.’
Crap. Casey had warned him not to accuse Joy and he hadn’t listened. He had been determined to prove he was right – and hurt her spectacularly in the process, more so than when he had slept with her.
He approached her and she stiffened when he touched her.
‘Joy I’m sorry, I truly am, I should have trusted you, I’m really sorry. Can I make it up to you, somehow, please?’
She turned back to face him. ‘I don’t want anything to do with you now.’ Her voice was empty, devoid of emotion and this scared him more than the violent outburst moments before. ‘I’m leaving at the end of the month. You won’t see me again.’
Panic ripped through him. ‘What, no. Where are you going?’
She shrugged, indifferently.
‘Why, because of me?’
Her eyes flared and he took a step back.
‘You arrogant sod. Since I’ve been here I’ve been attacked in the toilet of a pub, thrown in a pond, had dog shit posted through my letterbox on an almost daily basis, had eggs thrown at me, been spat at, had bricks thrown through my window, my dog has been poisoned and so have I. There is nothing for me in Bramble Hill. After today… well that just really brought it home to me that there was absolutely nothing here worth sticking around for. Now I need to get rid of this, so I suggest you stand back.’ She picked up the chainsaw and moved back towards the carving again.
He quickly grabbed her arm. ‘No! Why are you getting rid of it, it’s stunning.’
She smiled, thinly. ‘Because it’s pornographic and not exactly what the National Heritage were thinking of for their nice family friendly nature trail. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you, I’ll just get rid of me.’
‘Wait, hang on, let me just take a photo of it before you do.’
She stood back, her eyes cold, impassive as he quickly fired off a few shots with his camera.
Once he was done, she put her ear defenders back on and within a few minutes the wooden Joy had been eradicated, leaving behind a bed of leaves and flowers instead, other leaves and flowers covered his bare bum and with a quick flick of the chainsaw, the wooden Finn soon had pointy elf ears.
Without another word, Joy packed up her car, extinguished the lights and left, leaving Finn alone in the moonlight staring at the sculpture. In a short few minutes, Joy had been erased figuratively and literally – not leaving behind a trace of her presence – and by Tuesday she would be gone from his life too.
*
Joy sat and stared at the photo of her latest carving on The Dark Shadow website. Now titled ‘The Fairy Prince’, she had managed to capture Finn’s magnificence perfectly. She wondered, idly, what she would have called it if it had been left as it was. ‘Village Porn’ perhaps, ‘The Orgasm’, or more personally, ‘The moment I felt my heart breaking.’
She looked around the room; she had quite a bit of packing to do. She had phoned Joe and given her notice, though as she had paid until the end of the month he wasn’t expecting her out until then. He had been very apologetic about the whole Mrs Kemblewick fiasco that had forced her out and as such had not enforced the two months’ notice she should have given as part of her contract.
She just had to keep her head down over the next few days, try to avoid Finn as much as possible. It was already early afternoon and she hadn’t seen him all day, just another few more days and she could escape for good.
There was a soft knock on the back door and Finn stepped in. She automatically snapped her laptop closed so Finn didn’t see The Dark Shadow website, though clearly, on hindsight, it was too late for that now.
‘Hi.’ He stepped towards her much like he was approaching a wild animal.
She rubbed her head and sighed. ‘What do you want?’
‘I… can’t take back what I said, what I did yesterday. I wish I could, so we could be friends again…’
‘We were never friends Finn. You hated me, you shagged me, then you betrayed me. Definitely not friends.’ She ignored the look of hurt that crossed his face.
His jaw clenched determinedly. ‘You don’t accept apologies easily do you. Forgiveness not one of your strong points is it?’
He stepped closer and she had to ignore his glorious earthy smell, the way his eyes burned into her, the charge of desire that crashed through her at his proximity.
She looked away. ‘Saying sorry isn’t enough. This is never going to work between us, you don’t trust me.’
‘What about you, you didn’t trust me enough to tell me about The Dark Shadow. Trust works both ways.’
‘I would have, eventually. I would have shared that part of my life with you. But I can’t just tell every man I’m involved with what I do – The Dark Shadow’s success depends on my identity being kept a secret. That kind of trust takes time.’
‘For me too, I just need more time.’
‘I thought that too, that you just needed time to heal, time to think… but I was wrong. If you loved me, if you felt for me a tenth of what you felt for Pippa, you wouldn’t have to think. You’d just dive headfirst into it and to hell with the consequences, because being with me would be the only thing that mattered. But let’s face it, there’s no point in risking your heart unless it’s for the stupid, mindless head over heels type of love. You can’t risk it on someone you just quite like to shag.’
She heard him step closer, she could feel the heat from him now.
‘I’ll be gone by Tuesday and then you can go back to your nice uncomplicated life without me.’
‘So that’s it. One little disagreement and you’re running for the hills?’
She glared at him. How did he have the right to be angry? ‘I’d say that making me feel that I’m not good enough for you, not trusting me with your heart and accusing me of being a thief is a bit more than a little disagreement.’
‘You told me you love me.’
‘Yes and what did I get in return?’
He shifted awkwardly. Exactly, she’d got nothing other than his accusations and betrayal, hardly a fair exchange.
She stood up, grabbed Darcy’s lead and whistled for her. Without another word, she let herself out the front door and closed it behind her.
*
The Glasshouse at The Grove Hotel near Watford was one of her most favourite places in the world – the food was amazing and there was so much choice she wanted to eat it all. Tonight there was an all-you-can-eat buffet and she had gone there with that exact intention, to eat it all. Sadly it was not to be. She stared at the strawberry mousse topped with chocolate cream despondently. It looked delicious, but there was no way she could fit it in. After the amazing red pepper bread, the huge king prawns, the smoked salmon, the chicken
, beef, pork, turkey Sunday roast, the Chinese ribs, the cheeses, the crème brulee and the passion fruit sorbet, there was simply no room for the strawberry mousse.
She sat and patted her rather full belly, taking a sip of her champagne cocktail in the hope to dispel some of the fullness. It didn’t work.
She eyed Casey who had admitted defeat about ten minutes before, though Alex was still picking at the few slices of cheese that were on his plate.
It had been a lovely way to celebrate her birthday – Casey and Alex got on so well and the three of them hadn’t stopped talking all night. It had been an excellent way to help her forget about Finn too, albeit temporarily.
She sat back in her chair, shifting uncomfortably. ‘I’ve eaten too much.’
Alex sat back, finally admitting defeat too.
She picked up her champagne flute and peered at the strawberries sitting at the bottom, wondering if it would be completely uncouth to stick her tongue in the glass and lick them out. Deciding The Glasshouse was slightly too upper class for that kind of behaviour, she put the glass back down again. ‘And these cocktails are making me very fuzzy, think I need to go home and sleep it all off.’
‘Lightweight,’ Casey said. ‘I was going to suggest making it an all-nighter.’
She moaned, resting her head on the table. ‘No definitely need to sleep.’
‘That’s a shame, I have some very nice rosé champagne and strawberries back at my house, I was going to suggest we go back there to celebrate. Alex, you up for a few more glasses?’
Joy lifted her head. ‘Rosé champagne, you say, I could be tempted by that.’
Casey smiled and out the corner of her eye she caught Alex supressing a smirk. ‘You just said you were going to bed.’
‘Yes but it is my birthday and rosé champagne sounds like a nice way to finish it off.’
Alex coughed, still smirking to himself. What was he up to? She watched him fish in his wallet. ‘I have to be up early tomorrow so I’ll have to decline, you kids enjoy yourselves though.’
Beneath the Moon and the Stars Page 25