“Sugar.” I reached for her chin, drawing her shadowed eyes toward my face. “That’s not needy. Needy and clingy is if you’re up my ass all day and want to know my every move. Needy is when you show up at my house all hours of the night and at the shop during the day.” I shook my head and smirked at her. “You’re not needy. Wipe that shit from your mind.”
“If you say so. It’s just a new feeling for me. If I overstep or act like a crazy person, please tell me.” The worry in her eyes began to ease.
“Deal.” I kissed her forehead, lingering over the soft flesh with my lips.
“What was your longest relationship?” I asked. I hadn’t been the pillar of normal relationship behavior since I lost Joni, but I had an inkling that she had been just as unlucky in love as I had been.
“Four months,” she whispered.
“Did you love him?”
“I think I loved him, but a week after I said those words to him, he left me. He’s the only man I’ve ever said that to—he broke my heart.”
I rubbed my hand up her arms to soothe her while she spoke.
“I’ve never really allowed myself to get that close to anyone after that. It was during my freshman year in college, and after that breakup, I just spent my time studying and avoiding anything that felt like it could lead to a relationship.” She yawned and burrowed her body a little closer to mine.
“I understand heartbreak and wanting to guard your heart from the pain. I’ve lived it for more years than I’d like to admit.” I pulled her closer, leaving no space between us. “Let’s just take this slow. It’s best for both of us.”
“Slow,” she said, as she reached up and rubbed my face. I pulled her hand back to my chest and held it against my heart.
I could hear her breathing change as sleep took her. I closed my eyes, content and happy for the first time since Joni had last slept in my arms. I looked forward to what tomorrow held.
Tattoos and Torment
Suzy
“How’d it go with Mr. Piercings?” Sophia chuckled in the phone as I chewed my bagel.
“He gave me a little going-away present this morning before he headed home to change.” I chomped down, letting the cream cheese slide across my tongue.
“Oooh, someone had a sleepover. I like him, Suz. He looks badass, but I can see a kind heart underneath. Reminds me a bit of Kayden, but I hope without the other bullshit.”
I swallowed down the dry leftover bagel. “I almost messed everything up with him, Sophia.” I grabbed the glass of milk off the counter, taking a sip, while I waited for her to scream at me.
“Are you fucking crazy? Why in the hell would you do that? What happened?” she yelled, her shrill voice causing my ear to throb.
“I just didn’t see us going anywhere, and I didn’t want to get too attached to him. I ignored him yesterday and ended up going on a date with Derek instead.”
“Derek? What the fuck, Suzy? You know that guy gives me the creeps.”
I sighed as I leaned against the counter, wanting to smash my head into the gray Formica for being so stupid. “I know. I just wanted to forget City—epic disaster that I’ll tell you about someday. Anyway, City came to my rescue and took me home.”
“Well, thank Christ for small miracles.”
“He asked me to be his girlfriend, Sophia. Can you believe that?”
“I do. You’re an amazing girl, little mama. Any man would be lucky to have you as his woman. City was smart enough to realize it. Kayden was the same way with me, but his hard exterior melted. Sometimes you just have to roll with it to get to the good stuff. Nothing in life is risk free, Suzy.”
“I know, Sophia. My entire body vibrates when I’m around him, and my stomach fills with butterflies. I’ve never felt that way with anyone, and it scares the crap out of me. I tried to push him away, but he didn’t let me.”
“You must have some fine shit.”
I choked on my milk, and it started to come out my nose as I wiped my face. “What in the heck are you talking about, woman?”
“Well, you tried to get rid of him, and I know you usually hold true to your plan, so I know you didn’t relent first and he came to you. Most guys would just say fuck that and walk away without looking back, but you must have something special that made him come back for more. Huh, who knew?” She giggled.
“Shut it, whore. We had a long talk about relationships and love when he brought me home. He’s been hurt before and hasn’t had a real girlfriend in years.”
“We’ve all been hurt before. It’s part of love. If you never hurt, then you’ve never truly been in love before, Suzy. What happened to him?”
“His fiancée died,” I said, putting my cup in the dishwasher. I leaned against the counter and rested the phone against my shoulder.
“Wow, that’s horrible. I couldn’t image losing Kayden. I’d be a complete and total mess. I don’t know if I’d love anyone the way I love him. I couldn’t allow myself to love anyone that way again if he was ripped from my life.”
“Yeah, I just wonder if he’ll be able to make room in his heart for me. I’ll always be competing with her for his love, I’m afraid.”
“It’s not a competition, sweetheart. There’s room for both of you. He’s taking a risk with you—just give him time to deal with his feelings. Don’t rush into the L-word.”
“You did with Kayden,” I said, smiling even though she couldn’t see me.
“I know.” She sighed. “I couldn’t imagine anyone else in my life. Kayden was it for me, babe. He ruined me and I could never be without him—I knew that after our first weekend together. It felt like all the planets aligned. I was finally with the man I was meant to be with my entire life.”
“I’m just going to enjoy his glorious body filled with extra holes and pretty pictures. Jesus, girl, you should see his fine ass naked.”
“Did you say ass?” she asked, sounding shocked.
“I am an adult, Sophia. I do swear.”
“I think City’s dick stirred your brain and altered your thought pattern. My Suzy sunshine never uses profanity,” she bellowed.
“Suck it.”
“What am I sucking?” she asked.
“Kayden’s dong.” I started laughing at how immature that sounded.
“Listen, whore, no matter what you do—do not fucking say ‘I want to suck your dong’ to City. His hard-on would vanish, as he would fall on the floor in a fit of laughter. It’s not sexy, not at all. Funny as fuck? Yes, but not come here and fuck me talk. Got it?”
“I know. Just wanted to see what you’d say.”
“Silly, girl. Oh, and don’t call it a penis. Use the dirtiest, crudest words you can think of when you speak to him. Men love it dirty and raw. If you can find it in the health teacher’s textbook, avoid it like the plague.”
“Got it. All right, I’m going to go get ready.”
“Where you going so early? Your ass usually isn’t out of bed before noon, and it’s only eleven.”
“I have grocery shopping to do today, and I feel like browsing at a couple of stores. I plan to look at all the things I’ll never be able to buy. A girl can dream, right?”
“Grocery shop today and window browse tomorrow. I’m so glad we have a long weekend, and I want to go shopping and have a girl’s day out. We need to practice your dirty talk.”
“Don’t you want to stay home with him and Jett?” I asked, walking in my bedroom, searching my closet for something to wear.
“Nah, let them have some male bonding time. What time you want to pick me up tomorrow?” she asked.
“Noon, okay?”
“I’ll be waiting for you, my pretty.” She cackled as she hung up the phone, and I shook my head. Sophia was going to make it a very long day.
***
“Come on, you big pussy, let’s go inside,” Sophia said, yanking my arm as we sat in the parking lot of Inked. Once Sophia had something in her mind, she was like an Italian woman I knew—totally unbendable.
“It’s not clingy. I want a damn tattoo. I want to surprise Kayden, and I never get a chance. I either have the baby or him with me. I’d rather him do it than some stranger. Please get out of the car before I pull you out by your hair.”
Her hands were on her hips and she was giving me the pushy teacher look that always cracked me up. Sophia was just as much of a softy as I was, but her look was nastier and usually made people do as they were told.
“Fine, but when it all implodes I’m blaming your bossy butt.” I closed the doors and hit my remote twice, making sure that no one could steal my collection of vintage hip-hop cassettes.
Sophia whistled as we approached the door. “This is a nice shop, not like most of the shit-ass tattoo places around here.” She grabbed the door handle, and my palms began to sweat as my heart pounded in my chest, causing my breathing to grow ragged.
“Can I help you ladies?” a man asked. He looked like a younger version of City. His muscles bulged from under his shirt; his arms, covered in tattoos, flexed as he rose from his chair.
“I’d like to get a tattoo today. Any possibility of that?” Sophia asked.
Looking around the shop as Sophia spoke with the one of the Gallo boys, I took in all the vibrant colors on the walls—reds and oranges with yellow on the ceilings. No white space invaded this realm of his life.
I walked over to the beautiful artwork on the walls to get a closer look. The pieces on the wall were body parts that had been decorated with some of the most stunning work I’d ever seen. I turned my head and my stomach dropped. City was sitting next to a beautiful brunette with his hand on her breast and his face only inches away. They were laughing and talking, but he didn’t see me. They looked comfortable together, like there was something between them, or maybe there had been at some point. My heart thumped against my chest and I felt flushed looking at them.
I walked back by the desk quickly and grabbed Sophia’s arm. “Can we go, please?” I asked quietly.
She turned around and gave me a confused look. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s touching some girl’s boob and I just can’t look at it. It hurts to see it.”
She touched my shoulder. “Babe, it’s a boob. He’s an artist and some girls like tattoos on their breasts. It’s like a gynie looking at a snatch; it’s just another body part. Don’t get caught up in what you think you see.” She smiled.
“You’re crude. It was more how they were looking at each other.” I shrugged.
“Was he looking at her or what he was doing?” She eyed me.
“He was looking at her breast, for Christ’s sake.”
“He was looking at his lines. Calm the fuck down before you have a coronary. Lemme see.” She pushed me back and peered through the doorway to the tattoo area. “Look,” she said, yanking my arm and pulling my body to see what she saw. “He’s concentrating on his artwork.” She held my body so I couldn’t move, and forced me to view City touching someone else.
“Call me a prude, but I don’t want to see it.” I pulled away from her grip. “I’ll go wait in the car—you get your tattoo or whatever. I can’t be in here, Sophia.”
“God, you’re so dramatic. Get over your shit. He’s not fucking the bitch in the chair, he’s creating a masterpiece.” She looked pissed at me. “Suit yourself, go wait in the car and I’ll be out in a bit.”
I pushed the door open as I heard Sophia say, “Hey, City.”
Damn it. I wanted her to leave with me. I knew she was going to spill her guts, or should I say mine, and tell him everything that happened. I sat in my car and waited for over an hour. I tilted the seat back and closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun. I cracked the window an inch so I could feel the cold rush of wind on my face every so often.
“What are you doing, sugar?”
I jumped, his voice waking me from a nightmare. His face was buried in someone else’s legs, kissing them with his mouth like he had done to me the night before.
“You scared the crap out of me. Jesus.” I placed my hand over my eyes to block out the sun as I looked out the window to see his beautiful body.
“Why aren’t you inside with Sophia? What the fuck are you doing out here alone? You didn’t want to see me?” He looked hurt, but I couldn’t get the visual of him with the woman’s boob out of my mind.
“I thought it was best if I waited out here.”
“Are you going to open your door so we can talk face to face? Or am I going to talk to you through glass like it’s a prison visit?”
“You looked like you had your hands full,” I said, and looked out the front windshield, avoiding his glare. “I’m sure you have more boobs to fondle.” What the hell was wrong with me? The pang of jealousy hit me hard, and it felt foreign. I had never been a jealous person. No one had evoked this kind of emotion before him.
“Open the damn door, Suzy.” He pulled on the handle, bending down to peer through the window. “So that’s what it is. You’re jealous?” He laughed.
I wanted to smack that shit-eating grin off his face. He looked so smug. “I’m not jealous.” When had I reverted to acting like a childish crazy person? Get a grip. I knew it was only part of his job, but it was foreign to me, and I couldn’t wrap my mind around the image and reality.
“Sugar, come on. I wasn’t looking at her breast. I was working, for shit’s sake. It’s a piece of canvas to me. Don’t be jealous—although I kinda like that emotion in you. Shows me that you care.”
“I need time to process it all. Did you start Sophia’s tattoo?” I asked, wondering how long I’d have to sit here.
“She needed a break. I won’t go back in and finish until you get that fine ass out of that car and we talk about this.”
The man knew how to hold me hostage. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before unlocking the door.
City pulled on the handle, opening the door before crouching down next to me. “Sugar, look at me.” The grin on his face made me want to smack him. “Only you. She’s a married woman with children, and I’ve known her for years. I wasn’t staring at her nipples—I watch my lines. If I make a mistake, it can’t be fixed. Outta the car, Suzy.” He backed away and waited for me to climb out.
Closing the door behind me, I leaned against it before he placed his arms on either side of my body, pinning me against the car. Rubbing his crotch against my stomach, he said, “You’re the only one that does this to me.”
I wanted to stake my claim and ward off any woman that thought he could be theirs. His hand snaked around my neck, gripping me roughly as he crushed his lips against mine. My lips parted, granting him access as he pushed his stiff shaft against me.
He broke the kiss and searched my eyes. “Are we good?”
“I just didn’t like seeing it, City, especially so soon after seeing you with Kaylee. It’s going to take some getting used to for me.” I could get lost in his crystal blue eyes. “I’m sorry I was so childish,” I said as I leaned my forehead against his cheek.
“Childish and jealous,” he stated. “I’ll be patient with you, but I’m going to make you pay later for your little temper tantrum.” He laughed.
“What do you have in mind?” I asked with a cocked eyebrow and a grin.
“It’s on a need-to-know basis, sugar, and you don’t need to know…yet.” He licked my bottom lip and grabbed my hand, pulling me to the shop door.
“That’s not fair, City.”
“Sometimes life isn’t fair, sugar. I can guarantee that you’ll be screaming through it, and it won’t be out of pain, unless you’re into that sort of thing.” He waggled his eyebrows and chuckled.
Oh, hell. I knew trouble when I saw it, and it was standing right in front of me. City would be the death of me, but hell, at least I could say it was fun while it lasted. I did the thing I never, ever did—
I took the plunge and jumped in feet first without holding my nose.
Fantasies
City
I had plans for my little darling. She needed to pay for her temper tantrum, but I wanted to give her plenty of time to think about her actions and worry about what was ahead of her.
Suzy stared at the ground as we walked through the door of Inked. Mikey sat at the desk and was engrossed in his work until I cleared my throat. He looked up, a smile breaking out across his face.
“Suzy, this is my brother Mikey.”
“Michael,” he said, holding out his hand.
Suzy smiled at him and placed her hand in his. “Nice to meet you, Michael.”
“Pleasure is all mine.” He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it.
“Hey, dickhead, break this shit up. Suzy’s mine.” I smacked his shoulder and gave him a glare.
“I’m just giving her a proper welcome, bro. Chill the fuck out,” Mikey said, looking at me with a smarmy grin. Asshole.
“Do you want to come in the back or stay out here with Mikey?” I emphasized “Mikey” just to get under his skin. He’d always been Mikey, but he didn’t like the nickname when women were nearby.
“I’ll keep you company,” he piped in, and I turned to give him the look of death.
“Um, I don’t know. I don’t really like blood. Is it bloody?” she asked.
“Not too bad, sugar. Tattoos are done with needles, so there’s some.” I pulled her close and buried my face in her hair, inhaling her sweet, flowery scent.
“I think I better wait out here,” she said into my chest.
“I’ll keep her company—no worries, Joey.” The fucker winked at me, and I wanted to punch him in the face. I knew he was just fucking with me, because one thing my brother sure as fuck wasn’t was a woman stealer. He wouldn’t try and fuck Suzy or take her from me, but it still grated on my fucking nerves.
I’d never felt so territorial over someone, and especially not as quickly as I had with Suzy. Maybe it was her similarities to Joni or her kind heart, but I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her, and I sure as hell didn’t want to lose the opportunity to get to know everything about her.
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