by Lila Dubois
“We grew up, Maeve gave us our spells and suddenly we were able to go to the human cities. That was wonderful. Then, when the time came that the Clan had to make a choice about what it would do, I was there with Luke, supporting and explaining our plan. I helped set up the screens and projectors we used to show movies to the older members of the Clan. To help them understand why we thought a movie would make peace between us and humans possible.”
He fell silent and Akta had to curl her hand into a fist to keep from reaching out and touching him.
“What happened? I mean, what made you think that humans and monsters shouldn’t mate?”
Henry drained his glass and then looked at her. Their gazes locked.
“Nothing. I don’t think monsters and humans shouldn’t mate. I’m delighted for Luke, Michael and Runako.”
Akta let out a breath. There was a rightness to his words that let her know that this was truth.
“Then why did you say that?”
“To protect myself.”
“From me?” she asked, remembering his comment in the car.
“Yes.”
“What is it that you think I would do to you?”
Rather than answer Henry rose and started pacing again. “I haven’t known many females, but they say that women know when a male wants them, that they can tell.”
Akta had no idea where this was going. “Sometimes, yes.”
“What about me?” He faced her, arms held out at his sides.
“What about you?” Akta settled back in her chair. Now that he was no longer saying that humans and monsters shouldn’t mate, she didn’t feel so angry and upset.
“Do you think I want you?”
Akta laughed. “I won’t answer that.”
“Why not?”
“Because what if I’m wrong? That would be very bad.”
“Please, just answer. It will help this make sense.”
“Okay, fine.” Akta took a sip of wine. “I thought, back when we first met, that you did, up until that night.”
“The night we kissed.”
“Yes, but then you made it clear that the kiss upset you, and I figured I’d been wrong, that you’d been looking at me because maybe you weren’t used to being so close to humans.”
“And is that still what you think?”
“It is, and it isn’t. You’ve made your feelings about human-monster relationships pretty clear, but at the same time I thought…I thought maybe you did feel something for me. That you wanted me.”
“So even though I was trying to hide my feelings from you, you knew. And what about your feelings for me?”
Akta was less willing to talk about that. He still hadn’t explained why he’d been saying these things, and until he did she wasn’t putting her heart on her sleeve.
“Why don’t you tell me why you asked about women knowing if a man is interested?”
“For most people, they are able to choose, to some degree, whether another person knows if they’re interested. You just proved that even if you’re trying to hide feelings, the other person may still detect them.”
“That’s true, but it’s true for everyone. Guys can tell if a woman’s interested, even if she’s trying to pretend she’s not.”
“If you’re interested in a man, he may know you want him or he may not. But you make the choice to tell him if you want him. Until you say something, all he can do is hope.” Henry was looking at her intently, as if this were vitally important.
“Most of the time that’s true, but it can be hard to hide when you’re interested in someone.”
“Exactly.” Henry looked relieved, but Akta still didn’t understand. “The point I’m trying to make,” he added, “is that you can hide your feelings, your desires.”
“It takes time to learn to do that, but yes you can.” Akta shrugged. “Then again, as you pointed out, sometimes, no matter what you do, people can tell.”
“So you do understand.”
Akta stared at him, wishing she could say yes. “I’m sorry, but I don’t. Maybe you should just tell me.”
“I…can’t hide what I’m feeling. No matter how hard I try, I can’t hide it.”
“What are you—” Akta sat forward with a thump. “Your skin! It changes color along with your emotions.”
Henry sighed. “Yes.”
“Does that mean it changes to more colors, not just blue and black?”
“Yes. When I’m, uh…you know, wanting to…” Henry looked adorably uncomfortable. “Well, when I’m that…it changes.”
“You mean when you’re aroused.” Akta remembered the way he’d looked that night as he took off into the night sky, his skin no long blue…but red.
He covered his eyes with one hand. “Yes.”
Akta bit her lip to keep from giggling. That was his big secret? That if he got aroused he’d full-body blush? She could see how that would be hard for someone as controlled as Henry, but still it hardly seemed worth all of this.
“Is that why you were saying humans and monsters shouldn’t mate, to keep yourself from getting aroused?”
“Yes…and no. It’s a little more complicated than that.”
Akta refilled their wineglasses. “Sit down and tell me.”
“I hate that everything I think or feel shows up on my skin while I’m a monster.” He took a sip. “It’s like I have no privacy. That’s why I became an actor, so I could learn to have emotions on demand and use them to cover up my own.”
“I’m sorry, you’re right, that must have been terrible, especially growing up.”
“It was hard.” Henry licked his lips, then slowly extended his hand.
Heart beating fast, Akta placed her fingers in his. His palm was warm and wide. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles and she felt the touch throughout her whole body.
“I said I didn’t think monsters and humans should mate because I needed a reason for keeping my distance from you. It’s not that I didn’t want you.” Henry closed his eyes and bent his head, kissing her knuckles almost reverently. “It’s that I wanted you too much.”
Some logical part of her mind said that was the stupidest thing she’d ever heard, but her romantic heart just melted.
“I knew you would keep your distance if you thought I didn’t want you because you were human. I didn’t trust myself—I had to make sure you didn’t approach me.”
Akta stared at him as it all clicked into place. If all she’d gotten from him was a cute kind of uncomfortable, she would have made a move a long time ago. The main reason she’d kept her distance was because he’d made it seem as though he didn’t believe their relationship was right.
“I know it’s normal for monsters to mate, which is a forever thing, but we could have just gone out for coffee.” Akta now understood his reasons, but it seemed crazy that he’d gone through all that. “It didn’t have to be serious.”
“I wanted, want, that. To take you to coffee.”
“Then why did you try to stay away, and keep me away?”
He released her hand and stood again, nervous energy radiating off him. “Because I…because I cannot hide when I’m aroused, so I try not to get aroused. I never wanted to be in a situation where my needs, my desires, were so obvious, while the female could hide her feelings.”
“You could always just ask how she felt.”
“And would I always get the truth back?”
“Maybe not.”
“I don’t want to be exposed, vulnerable. It seemed easier to make sure I was never in a situation where my body could broadcast my desires.”
Akta stared at him, eyes widening. Surely he didn’t mean…
“Henry? You mean never, never?”
He sat back and scrubbed his hands over his face. Finally he muttered, “There’s something about me no one knows.”
Akta held very still. Henry stood, arms at his side, as if he were facing a firing squad.
“I’m a virgin.”
Henry f
elt sick. He’d never told anyone what he’d just told Akta.
There were very few female monsters, so it wasn’t unusual for a male not to have been with one, but there were other beings they could seek pleasure with and from. Most of those creatures were only myths—or nightmares—as far as humans were concerned.
The succubi, the kitsune, the silent women—they were all known to show up near the Clan’s home, and when they did the young males wasted no time pairing off with them. There was one thing these female creatures usually had in common, and it was the thing that had kept Henry away—they were aggressive, dark lovers.
He couldn’t have tried to seduce a succubus only to have his skin turn red when he was aroused or black if something she did was alarming. It was a weakness, a lack of control that would have been mocked and taken advantage of. He’d thought about trying to seduce a human woman once or twice, but by that point he’d been so paranoid about exposing himself emotionally that he’d always backed off.
“The others don’t know,” he told Akta. He hoped that this would remain a secret, but after a year of knowing these human women he’d discovered that once one of them knew something it would be only a matter of minutes before the others were told.
“Luke and Michael don’t know?”
“No.”
“Why?”
Henry just looked at her. He wasn’t going to explain that.
“Okay, fair enough,” she said. “And I can see why you didn’t want to be with someone, physically, if you weren’t sure you could hide how you felt about them.”
“Exactly.”
“But…” Akta rested her head on her hand as she looked at him, “…but, Henry, if we made love, wouldn’t you be human? Your human skin doesn’t change color.”
Made love.
The words distracted him, made him wonder if that was just a turn of phrase from Akta or if she imagined having sex with him to be something more, something like making love. Henry wasn’t the most romantic of males, but the idea of “making love” tempted him.
“Henry?”
“What?”
“I was just saying that if we made love while you were human, your skin wouldn’t change color—your privacy would be protected.”
“True, and that’s why I started kissing you back that night. I was kissing you until…”
Akta stiffened and her eyes went wide. “Until I said something about you having never done this before.”
He nodded.
“Oh, Henry, I’m so sorry. I’m a total jerk.”
“You’re not.”
“I am!”
“No.” Akta was many things—gorgeous, pretty, smart and fun, but a jerk wasn’t one of them. “But it made me realize that you’d know, you’d be able to tell that I was a virgin. I didn’t want…I didn’t want to seem…”
“You didn’t want to be the pathetic virgin.”
“Er…exactly.”
Akta went to the kitchen and brought back a decanter of wine. Henry picked up his glass and finished it in one long swallow, then let her refill it.
“Thank you for telling me,” Akta said.
“I’m sorry I was acting the way I was. I didn’t realize it would make you distrust me to the point you’d think I betrayed us.”
“I didn’t want it to be true, and I didn’t really think it was, but you’ve been acting weird lately, even for you.”
Akta ignored his disgruntled look.
“It’s been harder and harder to hide what I feel for you, what I feel when I touch you, as we film.”
“That makes sense.”
“Akta?”
“Yes?”
“Will you forgive me, for being a…a jerk?”
She smiled and Henry had to start doing mental math. Her smile was like nothing else—it lit up her beautiful face. She pulled her hair over her shoulder, toying with it, and not for the first time Henry had to squelch the image of that long hair flowing over his naked body.
“Of course I’ll forgive you. And I won’t tell anyone.”
Henry grimaced. “I knew when I told you the others would find out. I’ll deal with it.”
The teasing from Luke, Runako, Michael and probably even Seling would be heinous.
“I’m serious. You trusted me with your secret and I won’t tell anyone.”
He read the sincerity on her face. “Thank you, Akta.”
Raising her glass, she clinked it with his. They settled back onto the couch and chair. Since coming to LA, Henry couldn’t even begin to count the number of times he’d sat in this room. Akta’s house felt as much like home as the condo, and maybe even a little more so.
The silence was easy, companionable, at least at first.
Little by little a strange tension crept into the air. Henry couldn’t figure out why his shoulder muscles were bunched. He snuck a glance at Akta, only for her to look away, seemingly trying to pretend she hadn’t just been looking at him.
There is nothing standing in our way.
As soon as that thought zinged through Henry’s mind, he understood the tension. Akta knew his secret—she knew that as a monster his arousal would betray itself on his skin, and that as both a monster and as a human he was a virgin. At the beginning of the conversation they’d acknowledged that they wanted each other and, now, here they were, two consenting adults, with nothing standing in their way.
He felt Akta look at him and swallowed hard. She untucked her legs from the chair and leaned toward him. Her fingers brushed his arm.
Henry leapt from the couch. Even as a human, his skin was responding—he could feel himself blushing.
“Henry?”
“Would you…would you like to go out for coffee?”
Akta bit her lip, but the smile was still there in her eyes. “Yes, I would like to go out to coffee.”
Henry ran his hands through his hair. “Yes, okay, great. It’s a…”
Akta stopped trying to hide her smile. Grinning, she said, “It’s a date.”
Chapter Five
“Do your people date?” Oren asked as Henry let him into the condo.
Henry’s eye twitched at the mention of the word date. He closed the door.
After asking Akta out, it seemed that all anyone wanted to talk about was dates. It was like the universe was conspiring to make him as nervous as possible about going out for coffee.
Even Maeve had a date tonight with Oren, the movie editor.
“No,” Henry told the human, “but she knows what dating is. At least, I think she does. She might have a date mixed up with going to prom—she watched chick flicks all last night.”
As if hearing people talk about dating wasn’t enough, Maeve, who was staying in the condo with Henry, had insisted on watching all these romantic movies in preparation for her date.
He and Oren made small talk while Maeve finished getting dressed.
“You don’t like humans?” Oren asked in a seemingly casual way.
“I like humans and humanity,” Henry said, hating himself for being blind to what his self-protective actions had made others think of him. After revealing his secret to Akta, Henry had been painfully aware of how much attitude he’d been throwing around in his effort to protect himself. “But I think that relationships between humans and monsters are doomed to fail.” He didn’t really think that—Michael, Luke and Runako were all happy with their human mates—but Oren was in way over his head. Maeve was something else, and from the gooey look on the other man’s face, Henry had a bad feeling Oren was falling for the Seer. That couldn’t end well.
“Why?” Oren demanded.
“Because while we may be able to fit into the human world, humans will never really fit into our world.” Technically, also true—the furniture in his house would be the wrong size for Akta. And why was he thinking about that?
“Shut up, Henry!” Maeve yelled from the other room. She started cursing at him in the old tongue.
Henry folded his arms. This was the t
hanks he got for trying to warn Oren?
When Maeve emerged, there was no doubt Oren was half in love with her. His whole face changed. Henry had to wonder if the other man knew that his feelings, his thoughts, were right there on the surface for anyone to see.
“Took you long enough,” Henry muttered, uncomfortable with the way Maeve and Oren were staring at each other. Maeve grabbed for him, but he danced back. “Sorry, sorry.”
“Uh, these are for you.” Oren gave Maeve the flowers he’d brought.
“Thank you. No one has ever given me flowers before.”
“Then they’re all fools,” Oren said.
Henry left the room in disgust. Sitting on his bed, he waited for them to leave. He found sentimental gestures…annoying.
Akta was soft and romantic. She was the first one among them to think that Luke and Lena’s love was a good thing instead of a stupid mistake. She would want things like flowers and chocolates and those giant teddy bears. She deserved them, and yet Henry wasn’t sure he had it in him to play that game. It was as if since he hadn’t learned to be romantic when he was younger, the skill was forever lost to him.
Covering his face with his hands, he lay back as, in the distance, he heard the condo door closing behind Maeve and Oren. Maeve, who was admittedly odd, seemed to have no problem enjoying this human notion of love. Why couldn’t he?
When they’d first arrived in LA, he, Luke and Michael had known very little about what it truly meant to live as humans. Though they’d seen plenty of movies, they hadn’t know how to dress, where to go and what to say. They’d relied on magazines—primarily GQ—to guide them.
He was an unromantic virgin monster. If he was going to have any chance of wooing Akta, he was going to need to do some research.
Henry stood back, examining his work.
The floor of his bedroom was strewn with bits of glossy paper and the surface of his bed was littered with the mangled remains of many magazines. It was the middle of the night, but he was finally done with his research project.
After a quick trip to the store, he’d come back armed with not only the gentlemen’s magazines he remembered using when they got to LA, but a whole stack of women’s magazines. He’d picked up anything that had the word romance or love on the cover.