A sigh gusted out of her and his arm landed around her shoulder, as though he could read her mind.
“We should head back,” he said.
I don’t want to. She bit the words back. If they went back, she was worried that Bryan would be waiting for her. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t seen or heard from him in the last three days. He was still lurking around. She knew he was. Waiting for the moment when he could strike when she least expected it.
It had been comforting to have Carlos by her side as she’d walked up to her building. But she knew he couldn’t be in New York forever. He had a job and a duty to his country. No matter how much she beginning to wish his duty was to her only. A dangerous thought and one she needed to crush before it could take hold.
“When do you leave?” she asked, even though she didn’t want to know.
“I have to be back at base in two days.”
“Where’s your base? On the West Coast?”
His finger picked up a stray tendril of her hair, the tension tightening within her with every twirl of his finger.
“Virginia.”
“Oh. I didn’t know they had a base there. I thought it was all on the west coast, you know in San Diego.”
“Yes.”
Okay, we’re back to one syllable answers. Then parts of their earlier conversation came back to her. Did not talking about his missions include not talking about where his base was? No she didn’t think it was that important to keep quiet. Or was he not saying anything because he didn’t want her surprising him with a visit. Not that she’d ever do that. He may turn up uninvited, but she wouldn’t, no matter how much she may need or want to see him.
A clean break again between them would be the best thing to do.
“You’re right. It’s time to leave.”
Chapter Seven
The trip back to Erin’s place had been more torturous than some of the things he’d had to endure during BUDS training. Her attitude toward him had changed after she asked him where he was based.
He could’ve told her the exact name of the base, but he didn’t want to. He was worried if he did, he’d tell her to come visit him. And that was the worst thing he could do. Nothing good would come with picking up where they’d left off all those years ago. No matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much his body wanted to. When he’d made his first SEAL team he’d made the decision to make his career his life. Families and SEAL life didn’t always mesh. He needed to remember that.
As they walked up the steps to her apartment he scanned the area. Tex had been keeping an eye on Bryan and if he got anywhere near Erin’s place he’d phone Carlos. So far, his phone had remained silent, but that didn’t mean he slacked off from his duty. The itching in his palm had settled down. He wasn’t stupid enough to think that his warning a few days ago in the coffee shop was enough for the other man to stay away permanently. If he knew anything about mob life, and he knew a bit from experience, Bryan was probably laying low until Carlos left town before he struck again.
There in lay his problem. What did he do? He knew his commitment, first and foremost, was to his team. No questions asked. He wouldn’t let his team down. On the other hand, he didn’t want to leave Erin vulnerable.
Fuck, he’d known venturing down the path of his old life would lead to complications. He just hadn’t expected the complications to lead to the woman standing in front of him. He’d figured it would be Rico who would give him a hard time about leaving the neighborhood and the gang. Figured they’d do what they could to drag him back in. He was a lot stronger now than he’d been back then, when the need to help out his parents clouded his sensibilities.
“Are you planning on standing out there all night?” Erin interrupted his thoughts. “Because I don’t have a problem with you doing that.”
Pulling on the mental toughness that had seen him through many hell-in-a-hand-basket ops, he climbed the final two steps and met her on the stoop. Her sweet, flowery perfume tugged at his senses.
God, how he wanted to lose himself in her one more time. As callous as it sounded, one final goodbye before he went back to base. A beautiful memory he could pull out when things got too hard to bear while overseas.
Acting purely on need and adrenaline, he grabbed Erin’s hand and pulled her into the foyer of her building, his senses ignoring the pungent smell of the potpourri. He had one goal in mind. That was him, Erin and bed, and fuck the consequences.
The elevator doors opened and he propelled her inside.
“Carlos? What the fuck is go—” He swallowed the rest of her words as his lips crashed down on hers.
He groaned as a cloud of peace settled over him. Yes, this was right. This was perfect. This could be one night only.
Carlos knew the moment the fight went out of her. Her body melted against his. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her mouth opened wider, giving him the access he needed.
The bell signaling they’d reached the floor, registered in his sub-consciousness. Maintaining his hold on her he guided them out of the lift and to her front door. He broke the kiss long enough to reach into his pocket to extract the key she’d given him. His hand shook as he inserted the key and unlocked the door.
The second she slammed it shut behind them, his mouth was on Erin’s. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her down the hall to her bedroom.
Ever since that first day when he’d walked into the white and blue room, he’d wanted nothing more than to be in her bed. Now he was going to get that wish and he was going to make it a night she would never forget.
Because he knew he never would.
Over the past sixteen years he’d buried their past and his feelings for her, excused them as teenage infatuation that would never last into adulthood. How wrong he’d been. The old saying absence makes the heart grow stronger floated through his mind. Every fucking word was true. Without him knowing, his feelings for Erin hadn’t died, they’d grown. Expanded into an all encompassing need he could no longer deny.
He still loved Erin. She was his one and only. And while they had this night, he would walk away from her. Because walking away was the best for the both of them. He couldn’t put her through the pain of never knowing if he was coming home to her. He’d distanced himself from his family for this very reason. It hurt, but it was for the best. He was going to make the most of tonight.
When he reached the side of her bed, he lowered her legs so she was standing. He kept an arm firmly around her, not wanting to let her go for even a second.
“What’s happening here, Carlos?” she whispered, her breathing ragged. With her hair mussed and her lips plump and shiny from his kisses, words seemed impossible to form. Words needed to be said.
Honest words.
“It’s simple, honey. I’m going to do what I’ve been wanting to do since I saw you when I walked into Papa’s café three months ago.” He reached out and traced a finger down her cheek. “I need you, E. Need you so much.”
Carlos held his breath, waiting to see if she was going to throw him out of her bedroom. The way she kissed him back, he didn’t think kicking him out was the upper most thought of her mind. At least he hoped it wasn’t.
A slow, sexy smile formed on her face. An answering one pulled at his lips. Yeah, there was no way she was throwing him out.
Erin’s hand landed flat on his chest, and blood rushed to his second head. He’d never gotten so hard, so quickly by a woman putting her hands on his chest. “This could be a really bad mistake,” she husked out.
“You’re not telling me something I haven’t already told myself. But sometimes mistakes turn out to be the best thing to ever happen to you.”
As her fingers tiptoed up his chest, he struggled to not capture them in his hands and hold them behind her back so he could ravish her. Instead, he let her have free reign. It had been so long since she’d touched him. As part of his need to memorize every detail of their encounter, he didn’t want to stop her from doing any
thing she wanted to him.
“You’re leaving in a couple of days.” Her hands smoothed over his shoulder and looped around his neck.
“I know.” He leaned forward and nipped her earlobe. As much as he wanted to possess her, he wouldn’t do it if she didn’t want him to. Antonia’s words from the other night sounded in his head.
You’ve already hurt her once.
Was giving into his primal needs a selfish move? He had to ask.
Reaching up he unhooked her hands from around his neck and held them in front of him. “Do you want me to stop? I will. Just say the word. I can’t promise you anything more than tonight.”
“I know and if you even think about stopping, I won’t be held responsible for what I do.” Her fingers crushed his shirt, and her lips landed on his.
There was his answer. No mistaking what she wanted. It matched what he wanted. The guilt at only giving her one night flew out the window. If she wanted him to stop, he would’ve done it. Even though it would’ve been the hardest thing he’d ever had to do, walk away from her. He would’ve done it. She meant that much to him.
Her mouth roved over his, her teeth nipping at his bottom lip. He granted her access. But it wasn’t enough. He wanted more. He wanted the feel of her flesh beneath his fingers. Her body naked and writhing under him. He wanted to get lost in burying himself balls deep into her tight, warm, sheath. He wanted it all.
It seemed she was as frantic as he was. Their hands attacked their clothing. Pulling at fabric so they could be skin to skin, breaking their kiss long enough to get rid of tops before connecting again.
Carlos wanted to slow things down so he could fulfill his plan of storing their night in his memory banks. Erin didn’t seem to want slow. Slow was overrated.
He almost lost his load when her fingers brushed his aching cock to pull his zipper down. No, he needed to slow things down. He reached down and removed her hand. Sparks fired through him when she bit his lip in protest.
He chuckled. “We’ve got all night. We don’t need to rush.”
“Ugh, you don’t know how long it’s been since I had a decent orgasm.”
Carlos liked a challenge and if that douche Bryan hadn’t had the balls to make sure Erin’s needs were taken care of, he had no such qualms. “Well then, I better make sure it’s one you never forget.”
Now he definitely need to make sure he took it slow. With sure movements he dispensed with her jeans so she stood before him in her underwear. Damn, she looked even more beautiful than he recalled. The first time they’d slept together they were both still teenagers. Erin hadn’t grown into her curves. She had now and he couldn’t wait to explore them.
“Do you have any idea how good it is to look at you?” he asked.
“Almost as good as seeing you. But I think you’ve got more clothes on than me.”
Man he liked her sassy mouth. “Well then, I think I can remedy that.”
His hands went to the waistband of his jeans, but she stopped him from undoing the button.
“No you don’t. You removed mine, I think it’s only fair that I remove yours.”
Her eyes sparkled with mischief. He’d do anything to keep that look in her eyes. Somehow Carlos didn’t think Erin was going to be as swift as him. He held his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m all yours, honey.”
The muscles in his stomach quivered when she rubbed her fingertips along the inside of his jeans. Yep, she planned to take her time. If he wasn’t careful he could really embarrass himself. Erin had said it had been a while since she’d had an orgasm. It had been a while since he’d slept with someone.
Finally, her hand wandered back to his button, undid it and then lowered his zipper. He helped her remove his jeans until he stood in front of her in his boxer briefs. Her fingers reached out and traced his tattoos.
“They’re beautiful,” she whispered. “I don’t normally like tattoos, but these only enhance who you are. Do they mean anything?”
The last thing he wanted to talk about was his tatts. He had way more important things he wanted to do.
“Not really what I want to talk about, E.” To prove his point, he wrapped her up in his arms and lowered his head towards her. “Talking is overrated, didn’t you know that?”
He sipped at her lips before trailing down her neck. His hands roamed up her back, pausing when he reached her bra clip. With a quick flick, the fabric separated and he pulled the straps down her arm, freeing her breasts. Her back arched as he brushed a thumb across her nipple. His cock strained against the cotton of his boxers. It would be so easy to rip them and her panties down, bury himself so deeply in her they wouldn’t know where each other started or ended.
“Why are you taking so long?” she asked, thrusting her hips against his groin, her message for what she wanted to happen as clear as clean glass.
“I’m not a wham bam thank you ma’am type of guy.”
Her fingernails clawed into his back. He didn’t mind the bite of pain shooting through him. “I wish you were.”
“Maybe later. This time, I’m taking it slow.”
“Slow is overrated.”
He chuckled at her taking his words and tweaked her nipple. “Slow is the best type, honey.”
Carlos captured her lips again, as his fingers massaged her breasts, his heart pounding in his ears. With his lips still connected to hers, he maneuvered them until they lay on her bed, the mattress soft beneath their bodies.
Her hands floated down his back until they reached his ass. He tensed his glutes, expecting the sting of her nails through the thin material. Instead she squeezed and it was all he could do not to give into the wham bam thank you ma’am scenario she wanted.
Reaching down, he found the edge of her panties. He hooked a finger around the thin elastic and tugged it down. Her legs lifted to help him remove her last item of clothing. The scent of her arousal wafted up and he shimmered down her body. Leaning in, he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her pubic bone, before running a tongue up her slick folds.
A moan escaped out of her. She tasted so good. He flicked at the small bundle of nerves and slipped a finger inside of her.
“Fuck, Carlos, that feels so good.”
He smiled against her neck, his Erin’s mouth got dirty now while having sex. It would be a lie to say he didn’t like it. He did, a lot. With sure strokes of his tongue and finger, he brought her to her first climax. The sound of her crying out his name was music to his ears. The time of going slow was over.
Kissing his way up her body, he brought her down from the high of her orgasm. It wouldn’t be long before she was back there again. Once he reached her lips he possessed them in a soft kiss. Her hands returned to his briefs and she tugged on them, he added his own hands and together they removed them.
“Condoms?” he asked, pleased he still had a smattering of sensibility to make sure Erin was protected. An image of her body swelling with a child blasted through him. An impossible dream. A dream he’d never allowed himself to have. A dream he was finding he wanted to fulfill.
“Top drawer.” The sultry tone of her voice doing nothing to dissipate the dream of a life with her that was beginning to blossom in his mind.
No. You only have tonight. Don’t forget it. Don’t forget your job. It’s not conducive to a lasting relationship that included kids.
How he wanted to throat punch that voice, no matter how right it was. And why the fuck was he letting these thoughts take over his mind? He was minutes away from burying himself deep into Erin’s pussy.
He’d promised himself he would give her mind-blowing orgasms, and he would. She’d had one. He still had plenty in him to give her at least two more.
With his head back in the game, he reached across and pulled open the top drawer of her bedside table. Scrambling around the contents his fingers closed over a square box. He rolled over and opened the box, pulling out a strip of rubbers. He ripped one off and placed the others, along with the box, back on the top
of the table.
“Let me,” Erin purred as she grabbed the condom from his fingers.
Carlos smiled and laid back. “Be my guest.”
When her hand ran down the length of his body and grabbed his rock hard dick, he wondered if it had been a smart decision to let her take control. It had been a while since he’d buried himself balls deep in a woman he cared about. In fact, he would hazard a guess it was sixteen years ago. Every encounter, and there hadn’t been a lot of them, had been more about slaking a need, than anything emotional.
A feather-light touch on the head of his cock had his eyes closing and his fists clenching the sheets. To stop himself from blowing his load in her hand, he directed his thoughts to the place he went to when doing his grueling PT every morning. He bit back a groan when she rolled the thin latex over his flesh.
The moment she took her fingers away, he wrapped an arm around her waist and flipped her over so that he was lying on top of her again.
Once he’d nestled himself at her entrance he hooked a finger under her chin and lifted her head so their gazes met. He wanted to be looking at her when he joined their bodies.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yes.”
Before he pushed into her, he reached down and stroked her a couple of times. Her hips lifted instinctively, telling him she was more than ready for the next step. He adjusted the angle of his hips and guided himself into her body. Her warmth enclosed him and he couldn’t stop the groan of pleasure eking out of him.
“God, this feels so good,” he said when he was buried deep inside her.
“You have no idea how unbelievable this feels,” she breathed.
With their gazes still connected, he began to move slowly. Retreating and advancing in measured strokes. Erin’s hips met his every push forward and followed when he pulled out.
“Faster, Carlos.”
“Yes.” He wanted that as much as she did. Raising himself on his elbows he increased his pace. Her inner muscles clenched him tightly before releasing him for a fraction of a second, then gripping him again. The sensation wasn’t like anything he’d ever experienced before. He could feel his balls tingling. His climax was imminent and he wanted Erin to join him when he went over the edge. Adding a hand to where they were joined, he massaged her tight bud. Her short breaths indicated she was close—again. Erin’s body shuddered around him as another orgasm washed over her. He kept thrusting through the trembles of her body, until she cried out again and this time he joined her over the edge. His release pounding through him and into her. He slowed his movements until little quakes hit them both every now and then.
Special Forces: Operation Alpha: Guarding Erin (Kindle Worlds Novella) Page 6