“Yeah,” Jerry agreed. “I threw it and busted a lamp.”
“Right,” his father said. “Your mother was furious and sent you to your room.”
“I remember.”
“Your mother was so upset she told Judy to watch TV in the living room while she cleaned up the pieces and then she went back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up.”
“You were working that night.” Jerry said.
“Yes, son, I was,” Paul Bryce said and gulped back more tears. “I was on this track and it was the same time of the night as it is now. The headlight on that old engine went out earlier that day. I didn’t have the time to get it fixed so I decided to do the night run and have it fixed the next day.”
“What happened, Pop?”
“Your little sister heard the horn when I blew it right about here that night,” his father said between hastily taken breaths. “She got out of the house without your mother knowing. She followed that little path that led down to the tracks.”
“Oh my God...” Jerry Bryce whispered as he realized what his father was trying to tell him.
“I didn’t see her until it was too late, Jerry!” Paul Bryce shouted with anger toward the windshield of the rushing engine. “I didn’t see her!”
“POP!” Jerry screamed, crying himself now. “What did you do?”
“I killed her, Jerry! I killed her, that damn broken light…I didn’t see her!”
“Oh my God, Pop...” Jerry said.
“I just wanted you to see...to see for yourself...”
“See what?”
“LOOK!” Paul Bryce screeched at the top of his lungs and pointed at a spot on the tracks ahead of the train. “LOOK, son! Isn’t she beautiful? My little Judy...”
Jerry looked at his father in horror, the nightmarish vision of what must have happened that night so long ago flashing through his mind. He saw his father pointing and turned to squint into the night. The headlight of the engine barely lit the tracks in front of them and the foliage rushing past. What? What was he supposed to be looking for? As he looked around, he noticed that they were getting close to the old house. He recognized the area immediately!
“What, Pop?” he asked again. “What?”
“Look, dammit!” His father said, grabbing his shirt collar and pushing him toward the open side window of the old engine. “Look!”
Jerry stared wide-eyed out of the window and into the night, trying to take in all he could. One instant there was nothing but trees flashing by, but then...
There she was! Jerry could see her. The small figure standing at the side of the tracks near the path leading back to the house.
“Judy!” Jerry shouted. “Judy!”
Jerry could see her now, despite the tears flowing from his eyes. His little sister was a small shimmering figure barely visible in the darkness but for a faint glow. She looked just as he remembered her...four year old Judy...
As they passed the small image it seemed to Jerry as if he were in slow motion. His little sister raised a shimmering arm and pointed up at the engine with large questioning eyes. Her little form glowed white and it seemed a slight breeze blew through her hair and swirled her dress.
Oh my God...Judy...
Then he heard it, small and distant, but her voice was there, singing in his ears. Her small mouth moved and the words filled his brain.
Why, Daddy? Why? She called into the night. Why, Daddy? Why?
Jerry’s heart skipped a beat, the hairs raised up on his neck and shoulders and goosebumps covered his body. Then his father’s hand gripped his shoulder and he could hear him say, “Isn’t she just beautiful? Isn’t her voice just wonderful?”
Jerry turned away from his little sister’s apparition and stared at his father in shock. Paul Bryce was smiling at him, tears pouring forth from his eyes. “Isn’t she just beautiful?”
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered and shoved his father’s hand away from his shoulder. When he looked back at the spot on the tracks, his sister was gone. “Poor, Judy...oh my God...”
“I’m sorry, Son,” Paul Bryce said. “I thought it was time you knew.”
“How could you still do this?” he asked incredulously. “How can you see her and hear her every single night?”
“For me it’s like she never died, Jerry,” his father said smiling. “It’s like she’s still alive.”
“She has no peace,” Jerry said with anguish. “Pop, she needs to be released. She needs to step over into whatever the next place is but she can’t continue this way.”
“It’s wonderful, Jerry,” his father pleaded. “I can see her every night. You just don’t understand.”
“I understand how you feel, Pop,” Jerry said, unable to stop his tears. “Carrying around all that guilt for almost twenty years. But she needs peace. She needs peace...”
Paul Bryce took a deep breath and the tears stopped as he sucked it in. “Maybe so, son,” he said and solemnly nodded. “But I don’t think either one of us knows just how to give it to her.”
Jerry knew that his father was right. How do you deal with something like this? Who do you call? “We have to find out, Pop. We have to.”
“You try your best, Jerry,” his father said. “You try for your sister. But until then, I’ll keep looking forward to the night run...”
THE END
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