She swallowed hard before turning away from them. “I could have handled them on my own.”
“I know.” That was one of the many things he admired about her. “But you didn’t have to, and frankly, I’m glad neither one of us was alone just then. It’s good we were together. If not, we might have forgotten to rein it in and done something stupid like claw that fucking smirk off the bastard’s face.”
She gave him a look out of the side of her eye that he couldn’t figure out. “That’s true.” She shook her now mostly warm latte. Ice didn’t last long in this heat. “I’m done with this. You?” He nodded, not in the mood for something sweet that wasn’t the woman in front of him. Dangerous. “Okay, then. Let’s go look at some artwork and pretend that I’m not older than half of it.” Her mouth quirked in a semblance of a smile.
He threw back his head back and laughed. “You’re not that old, Brynn.”
“I’m older than you, pup.”
Pup. That had to be part of the hatred, but damn if he cared right then. She confused the hell out of him, but since she wasn’t physically pushing him away, he’d take what he could get for the time being.
“Whatever. You can show me what paintings are what. My uncle Reed tried to show me the world of art and I got distracted by shiny things like running and screaming at the top of my lungs to scare Brie.” He grinned and she rolled her eyes. Progress.
“I don’t know that much,” she said with a shrug. “Unlike you Redwoods, we Talons didn’t get out much.” Her features clouded and he wanted to curse himself for mentioning happier times as a child. Her childhood had sucked. Though sucked wasn’t a strong enough word. However, he wasn’t going to get into that. Not then.
“Then I guess this will be an experience for the both of us,” he said softly.
She met his gaze, blinked. “I guess so.”
He swallowed hard, not knowing why he was acting this way. He’d found other women attractive before, of course. He’d been with women in the past. It wasn’t like he was a thirty-something-year-old virgin. But he’d never felt this kind of an urge with another woman before. And if his wolf had even felt an inkling of what he did right then, he’d have said Brynn was his mate.
And if he’d been any other man, if she’d been any other woman, he’d have said screw it all to fate and would have taken her. Damn their future potential mates. But he wasn’t that man, and she wasn’t that woman. Instead, he’d walk with her inside that museum and do his best to try and be her…what? Friend? Ally? He didn’t know, but fighting with her was killing him, and he wasn’t sure he could keep doing it and not make a mistake.
“You should be fucking killed and shot on sight. Fucking animals.”
Finn turned on his heel at the sound of the same man from before. It seemed he and his friend had found their balls and followed Brynn and Finn to the steps of the museum. Damn it. This was not how it was supposed to go. How were they going to look like nothing was wrong and prove that wolves could be part of society like they’d been for generations—if only in secret—if random humans with too much hate in their hearts and souls kept coming at them?
This part of the Alphas’ plan would end swiftly if Finn and Brynn didn’t find another way to deal with this.
“Go away,” Finn growled, taking Brynn’s hand. She stiffened and he wanted to kick himself. He’d done it instinctually, wanting her touch so he could make sure she was by his side in case things went to hell. Yet he’d touched her when she’d told him not to, when he’d promised her he’d wouldn’t. It didn’t matter she’d done the same damn thing not ten minutes earlier by taking his hand. The woman tore him up inside and he didn’t know how to fix it.
The man who’d grabbed himself before but had spoken the least tugged on his friend’s arm. “Let’s go, man.” It seemed the little fucker wasn’t too keen on getting his ass kicked by a couple of wolves far stronger than him. Smart.
Both humans sniffed then walked away, leaving Brynn and Finn alone once again.
Brynn let out a breath, her hand still in his. “I think we should just go. That was a little too much for one day, don’t you think?”
Finn inhaled through his nose, catching her scent one more time. Instead of answering, he tugged her toward the alley a few feet to the side of them and pushed her back against the wall. They hadn’t had time to gather an audience like they had the first time, so no one would have seen him pull her close to him, thankfully.
“What the fuck are you doing?” she snapped. Her wolf glowed in her eyes, but he scented her arousal, tasted it on his tongue. She wanted him.
“Doing what we should have done a year ago,” he growled.
Then he did something spectacularly brilliant and idiotic at the same time.
He kissed her.
He had his hands on hers, pinning her to the wall. The bricks had to be digging into her back, but he knew she’d take it. Then maybe she’d pin him later and let him feel that pain, as well. She gasped against his mouth then opened, her tongue sliding along the seam of his lips. He groaned, tangling his tongue with hers, her sweet and exotic taste bursting on his tongue. He rocked against her, his erection pressing firmly into her flat belly. She wrapped a leg around his thigh, pulling him closer, making him want to beg for more. When she arched against him, her nipples pressing into his chest, he groaned into her mouth. He wanted to tangle his fingers in her hair, wanted to run his hands down her sides, cup her breasts, undo her pants and feel her wet heat.
Yet he didn’t do any of that.
Not then.
Instead, he kissed her harder, wanting every ounce of her.
Before he could take a breath, she slashed his hands with her claws and he winced, pulling back ever so slightly. She pushed at his chest and he moved back more.
Fuck.
She’d kissed him back, had pressed her body to his, but she’d pushed him at the end. He’d moved because she’d pushed, but he’d fucked up. He opened his mouth to apologize, not knowing what the fuck had just happened, but before he could get out a word, she slapped him.
Hard.
Claws and all.
The metallic stench of blood filled his nostrils and he knew she’d cut his face as well as his hands.
“Why?” she gasped, her eyes wide. “Why?”
Chapter Six
“Why?” Brynn pleaded, her heart in her throat. “Why?”
She staggered from the wall, careful not to touch him. Just one taste, one touch, and she was addicted. He reached for her, then must have thought better of it because he dropped his hand. Her wolf begged for him while the woman wanted to rage in agony and sweet release.
He’d kissed her.
He’d freaking kissed her.
He wasn’t supposed to kiss her. He was supposed to keep his distance and make it easier for her to die slowly inside. He didn’t want her; he’d proven that over the past year by looking right through her as nothing but a woman, wolf¸ a fighter—not a potential mate.
Yet he’d pressed her against the wall and kissed her like he’d meant it, like he wanted something more than a mere kiss. Though that had been no mere kiss. That had been…everything.
She’d always known when Finn wanted something he’d go for it all—as if he couldn’t help putting everything into it, putting his whole body, his wolf, his tongue. She’d heard enough stories from women who’d been in his bed. While she hadn’t clawed their eyes out for daring to touch what should have been hers, she’d listened to their tales of his prowess. Finn wasn’t a gentle lover, but he was a caring one. He fucked like he had a purpose, and made sure every woman in his bed got off until she couldn’t walk away easily. Because it was Finn who always did the walking away—apparently, on the hunt for a mate.
Too bad he’d missed what was right in front of him on that search.
From the way he’d kissed just then though, she had a feeling he’d been holding back from those women. Sure, he hadn’t been gentle, hadn’t been easy, b
ut there was something more in the way he’d pressed her hard against the wall. She knew she’d have bruises from his hold, from the brick at her back, and she relished it. She wanted to have his mark at her hips, at her neck. She wanted to show the world that Finn had her, and then she’d mark him as well to show those women that she had him.
Only that wouldn’t happen.
A sob caught in her throat and she forced a growl to cover it up. From the look in Finn’s eyes, she hadn’t covered it up well enough.
Damn it.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Fate and mating weren’t supposed to be this difficult. Of course, she knew that was a crock considering how her friends and her brother had mated. Nothing that truly mattered was ever easy, but damn it, none of them had ever had this…this pain…this lack of anything tangible.
“Why?” she repeated, forcing her heart to slow. Thankfully, her voice didn’t crack, and she held the tears at bay.
“Because I wanted to. I needed to. I thought you were of the same mind.” Finn genuinely looked confused. Even with his chest heaving as if he needed to catch his breath, he looked so damn sexy.
He shouldn’t. She should hate him for making her feel like she was nothing, for making her think that she had a future filled with the pain of seeing him every day and not being able to have him.
“You know nothing.” She swallowed hard. “You kissed me because you wanted to? Or because you were bored? Because you’ve never done anything like that before, and we’ve been together, alone, countless times in the past.”
And every single time they had, she’d been reduced to a twisty and tattered version of herself. For that, she would hate him for eternity if she could. She’d spent her life trying to figure out how to become the person she needed to be for her Pack. She never wanted to go back to the heaping mess of a wolf she’d been at the hands of her father. Her brothers and cousins might have told her that she’d been strong under his care, but she didn’t believe them. Not when she’d cried more often than not. She might have done her best to keep the tears in and hide any that escaped so the others—and her—wouldn’t be hurt even more, but it had never been enough.
The man in front of her had slowly chipped away at the woman she’d become, and she would never forgive him for that. Her mind needed to be on the task at hand and not at what could have been or even what was. The future of her Pack, of every Pack out there, rested on her shoulders. She couldn’t falter because her wolf wanted a wolf that didn’t know what to do with her.
“I wasn’t bored,” Finn growled. “Fuck that. I’ve scented your arousal every time I’m near. Don’t tell me you couldn’t tell I’ve been hard as fuck when I’m close to you.”
She sucked in a breath, her face heating. Damn it. She wasn’t a blushing virgin, but Finn brought out the worst in her. She knew she’d been turned on in his presence, but she’d done her best to hide it. No one else had been able to tell, that much she was sure of, so why the hell could he sense it? And no, she hadn’t noticed his hard-ons. In fact, she’d done her best to keep her line of sight away from his dick. One look and she’d be a goner. Considering she’d felt the bulge against her belly when he’d pressed her into the wall, she’d have probably fallen to her knees in praise if she’d ever dared to look.
Damn Finn Jamenson and his dick.
“Fuck you, Finn. I might have been turned on, but for all you know, it’s because I was thinking about the man I had in my bed the night before. Don’t be so self-centered and think it’s all for you.” Lies, but damn it, if he hadn’t acknowledged the need for a potential mate, then she wasn’t going to let him get any closer than he was. There was no way she’d be able to breathe if she did.
Finn’s eyes narrowed. “You had a man in your bed last night and yet you wrapped your leg around my thigh today?”
She snarled. “What if I did? It’s not like you’re a saint. I’m not mated.” Pain. Shatter. Agony. “I can do whatever the fuck I want. Get off it, Finn. It’s never happening again.”
It couldn’t. Not if she wanted to remain sane. Her wolf knew Finn’s didn’t feel the same thing she did. It wasn’t a lack of communication, or her being an overemotional woman. Finn’s wolf hadn’t once reached out for Brynn’s wolf. The mating urge had kicked in for Brynn, but it hadn’t for Finn. That was clear as day.
Fate had fucked up and given her a mate who couldn’t feel the same potential bond she did.
Maybe the torture she’d endured at the hands of her father and uncles had fucked her up so badly she didn’t know what she was feeling. Or maybe fate was punishing her for her hand in their deaths. Gideon might have dealt the final blow, but she had blood on her hands, as well.
Fate had once punished the entire Pack for her father’s actions by not allowing a single mating to take place in over fifteen years. It had taken the love of a Redwood princess and a broken Talon wolf to piece the ties of mating within the Pack back together.
Maybe the punishment wasn’t quite over.
Maybe Brynn needed to feel the pain of loss and a never-ending example of what happened when one crossed the paths of fate and destiny.
Whatever it was, she’d endure it. She had before, and she would again. But she couldn’t do it if she had to see Finn at her side and never be able to touch him. Or worse, touch him and know it would never go past that.
A touch.
A caress.
Never anything more.
He took a step forward, and she froze. What was he doing? He reached out and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. She could scent him; that spiciness that made her think of exotic, dark things that she shouldn’t be thinking of.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
She blinked, a jagged tear slicing through her once again.
He was sorry?
Sorry?
Of course, he was fucking sorry. What else would he be?
“Sorry?” she croaked. She cleared her throat and raised her chin. She was better than this, better than a broken shell of a woman who couldn’t hide the pain inside. “Sorry for what? Kissing me? Or thinking that I could ever want you?”
Lie.
All lies.
But what was the alternative?
The words burned on her tongue, and the shock in Finn’s eyes at her tone—or maybe it was her words—told her she’d gone too far. But she didn’t care anymore. Not when he’d been hurting her for the past year.
He couldn’t kiss her and make her want more when she knew they’d never have it. She wouldn’t let herself live half a life when her wolf craved more.
It wasn’t fair to either of them.
And, goddess, if he were to ever find his real mate?
Bile rose in her throat.
No, she wouldn’t think about that.
Ever.
“You sure like those barbs when you’re pressed into a corner.”
She snarled again. “Then don’t push me. Don’t touch me. This will never happen again.” It couldn’t. “Now, we’re standing in the middle of an alley all alone instead of doing our job. I’d say that’s the real fucked up situation here. So let’s get back out there and act like we’re fine and that I don’t want to kick you in the balls because you piss me the fuck off.”
That was true, though she really wanted to do something else with his balls first.
Damn it.
Mind. Gutter. Bad.
Finn flared his nostrils then raised his chin. “Fine. We’ll head back like we planned but know this, Brynn Brentwood—we aren’t through. Far from it.”
And that’s what scared her. Because she didn’t know why he’d kissed her. Sure, he’d said it was because he’d wanted to. But what did that mean? She couldn’t be with a man that she wanted forever and know that he’d only want her for a tumble. She didn’t hate herself that much. So where he might want to continue this line of conversation, she knew she couldn’t. Not when she wanted to run her hands through his hair and tug. She mis
sed the longer length where she knew she’d be able to get a good grip, but this shorter version would be good enough. That was, of course, if she let herself fantasize. Which she wouldn’t. Not in the slightest.
“Move out of my way before I move you myself.”
Finn raised a brow. Why did the man have to look sexy doing that? “That doesn’t sound like cooperation between Packs to me.”
“You just shoved me against a wall and put your tongue down my throat. I think we’re through with cooperation.”
“Actually, that sounds like perfect cooperation to me. Let’s do it again.”
Brynn’s hands shook. She’d heard of this Finn—the sarcastic one that made people smile by just being himself. But she hadn’t seen it before. Or maybe she had, but she’d been so clouded by her own pain and worries she’d missed it. However, she couldn’t deal with this right then. In fact, she couldn’t deal with it ever. Maybe if she hadn’t been bleeding inside, she would have enjoyed the man in front of her and his humor. Instead, all she saw was a mistake.
And that killed her one exquisitely painful inch at a time.
Enough of that. Seriously. She had a job to do, and her brain wasn’t in the right place.
“You done acting like a little pup who didn’t get his treat?” Better to put their age difference in the forefront. That would help push him away.
He shook his head, his hair sliding over his eyes before he pushed it back again. He might have cut some of it, but he hadn’t lost all of its length. Damned man looked good no matter what he did.
“Let’s go.”
“Fine with me.” She moved past him, careful not to brush against him but doing her best not to look like she was being careful. Gideon needed to find a new wolf to mingle with the humans because doing this with Finn had turned her into a damn teenager worried about study hall and passing notes about boys. She wasn’t sure she could take much more of this. She’d turned into a complete ball of angst, rather than merely the mess she was now.
As soon as she stepped out from the alley, she took a deep breath, trying to clear her senses of everything Finn. It wasn’t easy to do seeing how he was right behind her, taking up too much space. She’d been an idiot to think she could help her Pack, her people, by acting like everything was normal. It was so far from normal she wasn’t even sure she remembered what normalcy was.
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