by Cathy Bryant
Consumed by thoughts of Susanna, William turned away from her and quietly prayed. “Lord, I humbly ask that You grant my desire to have Susanna for my wife—nevertheless, Your will be done.”
Susanna noticed that William had grown silent. Consequently, she returned to her chores. “It is so difficult to be around him, Lord. Help me to come to a decision soon.”
Glancing back at Susanna, William perceived that she, too, seemed a bit distracted. At that moment, he decided he could no longer remain silent about their situation. He then quietly approached, placing his hand on her shoulder before speaking. “Susanna, I must tell you that I have not given up on us. Until the Lord tells me differently, I shall continue to beseech Him concerning a future with you.”
A little shaken by William’s nearness and the fact that he remained steadfast in his feelings for her, Susanna, with a tremble in her voice, said, “I have been praying too, William.”
Just then, Charles came sauntering in the barn—causing William to quickly pull his hand away. Susanna turned back to the horses as Charles spoke to William. The two hashed out their work schedule for the day before Charles took his leave. Turning, once again, toward Susanna, William smiled and then departed.
Susanna remained motionless for a few minutes as she thought about William. The way her heart had jumped at his touch told her that her feelings for him had not diminished—not one little bit. “Lord, loving him will not be enough if he perceives ill feelings in me toward his parents. I cannot burden him in that way. I must come to him free from the dread that just the thought of them brings to my mind. If I cannot, well—”
As William worked out in the field, his heart felt a bit lighter just knowing that he had shared his feelings with Susanna and that she was still praying about their situation. He had wondered, at times, if she had already given up hope.
Later that night, Susanna shared with Maddie what had happened in the barn with William.
After hearing what Susanna had to say, Maddie expressed her belief that with so many praying, God was sure to make a way.
A couple of days had passed when, bearing bad news, John Jameson came to the Osgood farm. Susanna’s uncle, John Martin, had died in the night, and there was to be a burial the following day. Only the family and a few friends would be attending. Susanna’s heart was heavy upon hearing the news, for she knew that her mother was sure to be suffering greatly over the loss of her beloved brother.
“Father, I believe I shall come along with you now and stay with my family for a few days.”
Smiling warmly, her father replied, “It was my hope that you would, as your mother is in need of comfort just now. Though she is a strong woman and believes her brother to be with the Lord, she feels the separation acutely.”
“Indeed, Father. She shall miss him immensely.”
After offering her condolences, Maddie assured John and Susanna that she would attend the burial.
“Shall I come to fetch you on our way?” inquired John.
“No . . . no. I shall ask William to convey me there. I am sure he shall not mind.”
Turning to go, John thanked Maddie and said he would see her the following day. Susanna hastily gathered up what she would need for the next few days. Following that, she made her way out to her father’s wagon. Once there, she observed that William had come onto the scene. Her father had explained the situation to him prior to informing him of Maddie’s wish that he convey her to the burial. William quickly stated he would be most happy to oblige. Turning, he caught sight of Susanna standing behind him. He then took her by the hand and helped her onto the wagon. Placing her things to the rear, he waved goodbye and assured that he and Maddie would be in attendance at the burial.
After that, William hastened into the house to speak with Maddie. They quickly ironed out their plans for the following day. Then, William went in search of Charles to explain what had happened and that he and Maddie would be away the next day.
Susanna arrived at the Jameson house in time to be greeted by more than a few neighbors and friends who had come to drop off food and offer their sympathies. Though she bristled at the sight of those who had gossiped about her grandmother, she endured their presence for her mother’s sake.
Late that night, after all their company had gone home, Susanna, while hugging her mother, expressed her sorrow over her mother’s loss. She understood the love one has for a sibling and thought her own heart would break if she were to ever suffer the loss of one of her sisters.
Then Esther, though her heart was breaking, cupped Susanna’s chin in her palm and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Thank you, my sweet,” she whispered, while holding back tears. “I shall be quite all right. Do not worry.”
After her conversation with her mother, Susanna crawled into Jane’s bed for the night. They both were in need of comforting. They had all loved their uncle dearly. His loss was felt supremely by the entire family. Before falling asleep, they discussed many things including the situation with William. Jane assured her sister that she had been praying and would continue to do so until such a time as all was resolved one way or the other.
The Jameson household was up early, quietly readying themselves. It was on everyone’s mind that the day was sure to be long and filled with sorrow. Knowing the situation, a friend of Mr. Jameson had offered to take care of the animals while they were gone. Mr. Jameson, though he disliked being a burden to anyone, had accepted—rendering him free to tend to his family’s needs on such a solemn occasion.
Before long, they were off to join the family for the burial. Unexpectedly, a sizable number were in attendance at the beloved man’s burial. The family had thought that only the man’s relatives and closest acquaintances would be there.
Upon her arrival, quickly spotting Maddie and William, Susanna moved over to where they were standing. Seeing tears in Susanna’s eyes, William placed his arm around her shoulder.
The Bible was opened, and all listened attentively to the comforting words that were spoken. Susanna particularly liked the passage in the book of Psalms that declares, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” Maddie had once reminded her of that particular passage. Just now, it was encouraging to know that nothing escapes the Lord’s notice and that He cares for His children. Another tear slipped from her eye as she thought about her uncle. His suffering was finally over and he was with the Lord. How glorious that must be.
Glancing down at Susanna, William, hoping to comfort her, pulled her closer. Immediately after feeling his strong arm drawing her nearer, Susanna melted against his chest. She then began to think about how short life truly was and that she wished hers could be spent in the arms of the man now standing beside her. However, she knew she loved him too much to risk causing him a lifetime of pain, for her feelings about his parents were yet unsettled.
When the ceremony was over, Susanna smiled up at William and thanked him for coming. Then, before turning to go, she embraced Maddie. As she was about to search for her parents, her father approached for the purpose of inviting Maddie and William to join the family for a meal.
Soon after, Maddie and William set off for the Jameson’s homestead. A delighted Susanna rode back home with her parents. She was pleased that her friends would be joining the family at the house. As they rode along in the wagon, Susanna thought about how William had kept his arm around her while the words were spoken over her uncle. All at once, Susanna glanced over at Jane who was smiling back at her. The elder Miss Jameson perceived, by her younger sister’s expression, that she understood what she was feeling at that moment.
Before long, everyone was chatting away around the Jameson’s table. William had been placed across from Susanna; as a result, he listened to every word she said. It was a joy for him to see her interacting with her sisters and parents, as he had never before been with the entire family.
At that moment, there was a little sibling rivalry going on between Susanna’s younger sisters, Esther a
nd Hannah. William chuckled at the sight of the two vying for the attention of the others. He also glimpsed an exchange between Jane and Susanna that he assumed had something to do with him, as they had both glanced his way.
I would love to be a fly on the wall later tonight when those two are finally alone. I might glean a lot if I could but hear just a little of their conversation. Content in the company of such a wonderful family, smiling, William sat back against his chair.
As Mr. Jameson peeked over at the young man, he chuckled to himself. Seeing him so pleased made the older man wish William would soon be a part of his family. He knew that Susanna loved the gentleman. But having recently heard from his daughter about the difficult circumstances, he was more than a little proud that Susanna was praying about things and not rushing in.
Later that night, there were conversations buzzing in two of the Jameson’s bedchambers. Susanna and Jane talked of William and Thomas until well into the wee hours, while Esther and John stayed up just as late speaking along much the same lines.
Chapter 32
Susanna remained at her parents’ home for the better part of a week. While she was away, William took his meals at the Osgood farm every evening. Each night, after they had eaten, William and Maddie found ample time for uninterrupted conversation and prayer regarding Susanna.
Late in the week, Susanna returned. As she approached the barn, she could hear two men talking. All at once, she recognized the voices. One of the men was Mr. Ormsby the other—William. As she stood by the entrance, hearing the exchange between the two, she felt the need to linger a while.
Mr. Ormsby and William were speaking about her. In fact, Mr. Ormsby was insisting that William was all wrong for her, given that his parents were responsible for her grandmother’s death. While Susanna waited patiently to hear William’s response, he spoke but a little.
Before long, Mr. Ormsby’s tempter flared at William’s calm demeanor. As she listened, she was dumbfounded when the man began making accusations—even calling William a liar. He went on to say that it was obvious, by her reaction to the news of William’s parents, he had not told her the truth—that he was William Pressey, not William Gage.
She was relieved when, at last, William responded, “Mr. Ormsby, as you see I have no defense. You are correct in saying that I had not spoken with Susanna about my parents. As she had continued in her distress over the loss of her grandmother, I had decided to wait on telling her. I see now that it was a mistake.”
Susanna thought William would defend himself but, to her dismay, that was not to be.
She soon realized that William was taking the full responsibility even though she knew Maddie to be involved in the decision. Although she was beginning to feel a bit guilty for eavesdropping, she felt compelled to remain where she was.
As she continued to listen, she could hear that Mr. Ormsby’s ire was intensifying. To her, it seemed that the man desired to rattle William enough to cause him to abandon any hope of winning her.
She then heard Mr. Ormsby say, “Why is it that you speak so calmly? Are you daft? I have just accused you of being a liar!”
“Mr. Ormsby, could it be that you are not accustomed to seeing a person exercise self-control or answering an insult with kindness?”
At this point, she heard how stunned Mr. Ormsby was by William’s words when he heaved a heavy sigh, and said, “Well . . . no, no I cannot say that I am. But why––” Not hearing the rest of his question, she realized he had cut off in mid-sentence.
Susanna then sensed, by William’s pause, that he too had perceived Mr. Ormsby’s confusion. His silence indicated he understood that Mr. Ormsby was at a loss as to why he would respond to anger and accusation in such a way.
Once again, she waited for William to respond, curious as to what he would say. Finally, she heard him clear his throat and begin to speak. “Mr. Ormsby, I have no desire to be enemies with you. Moreover, it is my belief that God would not be pleased if I reacted in anger to the things you have said.”
“I do not take your meaning!” he said, bewildered. “Why—” Not knowing how to phrase his question, the man fell silent.
“Mr. Ormsby, what I am saying is that you are important to God, and He would not wish for me to treat you cruelly.”
Not hearing a response from Mr. Ormsby, Susanna wondered what was going through his mind.
With Mr. Ormsby clearly dumbfounded, it was William who spoke yet again. “Whether or not Susanna and I have a future together is not the point. God desires for me to do His will no matter what happens. In fact, it may not even be in His plan for things to work out between me and Susanna.”
This time, Susanna heard a response from the other man. “How is that you have such a peace about all of this when it is apparent that you desire to have Miss Jameson? Do you truly trust God above your own wishes?”
“Indeed I do. It is my belief that if I were to go against God’s plan for my life, nothing would work out for the best. I trust God to know what that is. Do you understand?”
“No. I cannot say that I do, but I am intrigued by that kind of trust. I have never before heard such a thing. Though I have been to church lately, it has not been my usual practice. Furthermore, as I am sure you had suspected, I was not raised to know much about these things.”
“I thought as much,” William responded sympathetically.
William then approached the man and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Mr. Ormsby, I would much rather have a friend than an enemy. What do you say?”
Astounded at what was happening, tears filled Mr. Ormsby’s eyes. All he could do was stand there and stare at the kindhearted gentleman in front of him. Suddenly, his heart began to ache for the kind of trust and peace that William exhibited. Hanging his head in shame for what he had done to William, he nodded and said, “Mr. Pressey . . . ah, Gage, I do not know what to say. I never expected that you should desire a friendship with me after what I have done.”
It was at this point that Susanna, with tears in her eyes and love in her heart for William, hastened away. It was time she allowed the two men to continue with their conversation—privately.
Mr. Ormsby and William remained where they were for some time as William explained to the man how he too may have a life marked by the same kind of trust. He shared with him that we have all sinned, and that Jesus paid the price on the cross for our sin if we would but repent and believe.
He went on to explain the difference between true repentance and simple remorse. “Repentance denotes a turning away from sin and turning to God and His will for our lives. That may sound difficult to do, but it is in His strength that we accomplish this, for we are quite incapable of achieving it on our own. You see, true repentance changes the affections of the will to conform to God’s will.” Though Mr. Ormsby made no profession of faith at that point, he took his leave with a thoughtful heart.
Alone now, William was thankful he had been praying for the man, for it was clear that God had done a work in his own heart. His recent anger toward Mr. Ormsby had been overtaken by compassion.
Out in the yard, Maddie spotted Mr. Ormsby as he was leaving. She then hastened into the barn to speak with William. William quickly explained all that had happened, and then requested that she keep the man in her prayers. Feeling guilty about her hitherto uncaring attitude toward the man, for she had prayed more out of obligation than concern, Maddie realized that she was truly delighted by what had transpired between the two young men.
Later that day, when William—sickle in hand—returned from the fields, he caught sight of Susanna in the garden. “Susanna, where have you been keeping yourself? I have not seen you about all day.”
Looking up at William from where she sat—her lap covered with dirt and weeds—she couldn’t help but confess what she had overheard. “I am sorry to have been listening to such a private conversation, but I couldn’t help myself.”
With a slight grin, William pretended to be affronted. “Susanna, I
am surprised at you—listening to a private conversation.”
With shoulders slumped, she responded, “I know William—it is despicable. Can you ever forgive me?”
All at once she heard him chuckle and dared to look up. Seeing that he had been merely teasing, she lifted her chin, and said, “William, I thought you were truly upset with me. How could you let me go on so?”
Laughing loudly now, William dropped down on the grass beside her. “All teasing aside, is it not wonderful that he seemed interested in what I had to say?”
“Indeed. In fact, I have been praying for him while I clear away these weeds. William, I also heard what you had to say concerning his accusations. You were so gentle in your response to him.”
Surprised that she had heard most, if not all, of his conversation with Mr. Ormsby, he grasped her hand, and said softly, “He was right. I should have told you.”
“That is all behind us now, William. It is as I have said. I now understand why you waited to tell me. So, please do not give it another thought.”
He searched her face for whether she would say more. Has she considered a way that we might go on from here?
Susanna took note of the yearning in his eyes and swiftly turned her gaze away. Seeing the pain there was too much for her to bear. She then thought about her reasons for keeping them apart. Were they not for the same reason—to spare him pain?
All at once she felt confused and had to get away. Observing the panic that had arisen upon her face, William quickly released her hand. It was clear to him that she needed to escape. After she had gone, he remained in the garden praying that God would comfort her. Though he wasn’t sure what it was that had upset her, he prayed just the same.
Chapter 33
Elizabeth Howard and Fred Brown’s wedding day was rapidly approaching; thus, the soon to be bride made one last visit to the Osgood farm. As the ceremony, by tradition, was to be a small gathering before the magistrate, the planning was not in any way elaborate. Elizabeth had a simple desire for her best friend to assist her in making her wedding gown. Additionally, she knew that Maddie intended to help with the planning and preparing of the wedding feast. It was at times like these, Elizabeth greatly appreciated her two friends, seeing as her mother was no longer amongst the living.