She met his gaze. He was so intense that it took her breath away. It was no surprise to her that he was a star. How could he have been anything else? She looked away. “Not all men feel like you do.”
“Sure, they do. Trust me. I have yet to meet the man who can walk away from his child and not regret it at some point of his life.”
It was out of her mouth before she could stop it. “You already have.”
His eyes narrowed. “What?”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Is it safe now? Can we go?”
He looked around. Finally he nodded and he started the car. He didn’t even bother with the headlights until they hit the road. He didn’t ask her any more questions and she didn’t say anything at all. They were back in Burbank within an hour.
He pulled into the private community, stopping just inside the gate. It was just after midnight. The street was dark and quiet. “Are you going to be okay?” he asked softly as he turned to face her.
She nodded and referred to her phone. “I already texted my mom and told her I was coming. I just have to walk the thirty or so feet to the front door.”
He held her gaze. “I don’t know what’s going on here. And maybe I don’t have to. But you have a friend, Lacy. A bunch of them. Remember that.”
Again she nodded. When he opened his arms, she leaned into a hug. He held it for a beat longer than necessary. She slipped out of the car and darted along the darkened sidewalk towards her mother’s townhome. Vanni sat in the car, waiting for her to disappear inside the front door, before he turned his car around and headed for home.
Chapter Ten
The nerves apparently got to the guys as well that week. The stuttering comedian, Twitchy Peterson, blew his lyrics, which actually made him stutter in the song. Shiloh had gotten so creative with his musical arrangements that taking the audience by surprise no longer took them by surprise. The judges warned him that he needed to shake things up and keep things interesting.
Even Jonah, whose rendition of an INXS tune that drove the girls crazy in the audience, failed to impress the judges. “Be careful what patterns you fall into,” Vanni warned. “You have to offer more than sex to win over your audience. Otherwise you’re easily replaced by the new flavor of the month. You’re too good to let that happen.”
Jonah nodded and escaped the harsh lights and even harsher judgments. Lacy empathized immediately. She knew how it felt to be in his shoes. It sucked. And nothing, aside from being saved another week, could make it any better. It was a waiting game now, the longest waiting game of his life.
There was really only one standout that night, and it was Tony Paul’s unexpectedly heartfelt version of “I Want to Know What Love Is.” It was just him and a spotlight. The band was unobtrusive until the end, when the guitarist and a gospel choir joined him on stage. For a moment, Lacy lost herself in the performance. Tears filled her eyes. She believed him. For the first time in her life, she believed him.
The judges echoed her sentiment. “Where’s this guy been hiding?” Allison asked him.
His eyes briefly lit on Lacy’s face before he turned back to her. “I don’t know.”
“Keep him around,” she advised.
He nodded and said, “Yes, ma’am,” thus sealing his fate for yet another week.
The party that night was somber for everyone, really, but Tony Paul’s family. Even Tony Paul was quietly contemplative. He watched Lacy from across the room. He knew she hadn’t come back to the house the night before. He didn’t know where she went. And suddenly it mattered. It mattered a lot.
Jonah watched the two of them with a lump in his throat. Something was changing between them. It was plain to see. It would have killed him if she chose Tony Paul after everything. How could she choose him after everything? He thought about Cody, who had so eagerly responded to him. There was a hole in his life, torn there by that asshole, Tony Paul. He had left, like the spoiled brat that he was, rather than face the consequences of his behavior. What kind of man was that?
If she had told him she was pregnant, Jonah wouldn’t have left. He would have put a ring on her finger and promised her every single day for the rest of his life. That was the difference between him and Tony Paul. As close as they had come, she had never been fully convinced of that.
He had to convince her of that now. Somehow. Some way.
He turned to his mother and his sister, who hadn’t left his side since they were reunited at the party. They were instantly encouraging, telling him that the audience absolutely loved his performance, no matter what the judges said. They both knew that America would put him through. It hadn’t helped his mood much. But as he continued to watch Lacy and Tony Paul, he suspected it had little to do with the lackluster feedback for his performance that night. “I think I’m going to call it an early night. I want to be well rested for tomorrow, just in case.”
“I don’t want to hear that kind of talk from you,” his mother scolded. “You have fans. I see them every single week. They love you. They’re going to vote you through. I know it.”
He smiled. “I just don’t want to take anything for granted, Mama.”
Leah slipped her arm around him for a strong hug. “Next week we’ll pull out the big guns.”
He had to laugh as he cuddled her close. “And what big guns are those?”
“Me,” she said as she offered him a big smile.
“Nuh uh,” he said, shaking his head immediately. Leah was not for sale. He was not going to use her to get the sympathy vote. He told her as much, but she was unmoved.
“I don’t know if that’s your choice,” she said, adopting the same look on her face that their mother always wore whenever she dug in her heels on an issue.
“I’m kind of the contestant,” he reminded with a smile.
“They wanted us out here to show support, right? That means we’re in this thing, same as you. And if you’re going to go down fighting, so are we.”
He ruffled her hair. He loved her so much he could hardly stand it. She was more than a little sister. She was his moral center. “I tell you what. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
“Fine,” she agreed with a carefree shrug. “But never forget that you have an ace in your pocket.”
Ace, he thought. It reminded him of Lacy. He looked around, but she was nowhere to be found. He spotted Harper making the rounds, attempting to get Vanni’s attention. It made Jonah furrow his brow. Where was Tony Paul?
He kissed his mother and sister before he headed back to the house. Several people had already arrived, milling around in the kitchen for a late night snack or, more commonly, a night cap. Normally Tony Paul hung out there with the other drinkers of the house. That he wasn’t there only worried Jonah more.
He checked the grounds outside, but they were empty. He grew increasingly upset as he made his way upstairs towards the room he shared with Tony Paul. The door was shut. Jonah’s hand trembled as he reached for the doorknob. He could imagine all sorts of horrible scenarios he might encounter when he opened the door, the worst of which was that he’d find Lacy in his arms. He eased the door open and peered into the darkened room.
It was empty, too.
Before he could heave a relieved sigh, he heard a commotion from downstairs. He hurried back to the ground floor, where Shiloh was holding back Harper from Penelope. “Fuck you!” she slurred, clearly inebriated even though she was still underage.
Jonah’s mouth thinned into a hard line, assuming that her fuck-buddy Tony Paul had something to do with that.
He stepped in between the two women. “What’s going on?”
Penelope was frustratingly nonplussed. “I just said if she was going to fuck Vanni, she probably should have done it before Lacy sunk her claws into him. That’s all.”
Jonah spun on her. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Penelope rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. Is everyone in this fucking house blind? Where do you think she was last
night? Because she certainly wasn’t here.”
Richie nodded. “My sister says she saw her get into his car last night. They took off for parts unknown.”
Jonah’s stomach dropped and Penelope continued. “So she stays out all night, again, and she’ll get voted through another week. Like I said,” she said to Harper. “You should have been banging him rather than that fat waist of skin, Tony Paul.”
“Hello to you, too,” Tony Paul said as he walked into the room.
“Ah, yes. Another player in place. Only one is missing. Three guesses where she is. And the first two don’t count.”
“She’s in the car,” Tony Paul answered, which only twisted Jonah a little more in the wind.
“What is she doing with you?” he demanded.
Tony Paul looked him up and down. “I don’t think that’s any of your business, chief.”
“We just shared a car,” Lacy explained as she followed Tony Paul further into the room.
“Like you ‘shared a car’ with Vanni last night?” Penelope retorted.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lacy said as she attempted to extricate herself from the volatile situation. “I think the stress is getting to all of you.”
“But not you, right?” Penelope goaded. “There’s no stress when you know you’re going to get voted through week after week, if not by the public, at least by one smitten judge.”
“He’s married,” Lacy reminded.
She laughed. “Yeah. We’ve all seen his ‘wife,’” she said, using her fingers to make air quotes. She looked Lacy up and down. “I can’t decide if he’s fucking up, or fucking down.”
“Back off!” Tony Paul and Jonah barked simultaneously.
Penelope’s mouth spread apart in a self-satisfied grin. “Look at that. There’s more than one rooster in this henhouse.” She gave a sympathetic look to the two men. “Too bad you guys can’t vote her through to a record contract.”
“Fuck you!” Lacy exploded as she launched herself toward the smug brunette, who laughed that she finally was able to provoke her. Jonah grabbed Lacy easily around the waist and lifted her up into his arms. She struggled against him but he was too strong. He carried her effortlessly from the room and out onto the lawn.
“Put me down!” she squealed, kicking and punching at him.
He held her close. “What are you going to do? Go running back in there and tear her hair out?”
“For a start!” she spat.
“And then what? I guarantee you that if you lay one finger on her she’ll use that to destroy you. She can’t beat you any other way. None of them can.” She stopped struggling. “They’re just jealous, darlin’.” When he was sure she wasn’t going to bolt back into the house, he finally eased her onto her feet.
She barely looked at him. “Thank you.” She turned away and walked to the edge of the property, looking out over the lights of Los Angeles. He followed her, standing just behind her. He didn’t say anything. He just waited for her to speak.
“What they’re saying isn’t true,” she said softly. It mattered to her that he knew that.
His eyes swept over her, from the top of her head all the way to her feet. There were many things that he didn’t know about this unusual woman. She had closed herself off from the world, keeping everyone at bay, afraid to be hurt again. She was like a bird with a wounded wing. She’d peck your damned hand off just to make sure she could get away. She wasn’t malicious. He couldn’t love her if she was. And he would have known by now. “I know.”
His voice was so soft that she turned to face him. “You do?”
He nodded. He stepped closer. “I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through. I wouldn’t even try. But I’m here, Lacy. You don’t have to do any of this alone.”
She nodded. “I know.”
He sighed as he toyed with a long strand of her hair. “But you’re not going to take me up on my offer because it would just prove what they are saying is true.” Her sad eyes met his. He traced the curve of her beautiful face with his fingertip. “So I’ll wait, because no one else ever did. I’ll stay because no one else ever has. And when you need me, I’ll be here.”
He turned to leave but her soft voice stopped him. “I need you, Jonah.”
Her voice cracked. She barely eked out the words. But it was everything he wanted to hear. He took her into his arms and crushed his mouth on her softly parted lips. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pressed against him. He lifted her up and carried her to the side of the house, where no one could see. He pressed her against the wall, just on the other side of a fragrant shrub. He fit himself in between her legs, which she locked around his waist. When he dragged his mouth away, his eyes locked with hers. He wanted her so badly that it physically hurt.
But he loved her more. He wasn’t about to give those harpies in the house something more to gossip about. He kissed her again, softly this time. “I’ll go in first,” he said as he stared at her swollen lips. What he wouldn’t give to taste them again.
She nodded and he stepped away, taking a deep breath and straightening his clothes. He talked himself down before he turned the corner. She slid down the wall and landed in the dirt with a thud. She rested her elbows on her knees, dropping her head into her hands. Maybe if she stayed out there long enough, everyone would pass out in a drunken stupor and she could escape to her room unnoticed. She was quite done with all their attention.
She jumped every time she heard the wind rustle through the shrubbery. She just knew someone would turn that corner and make her night even longer, and more confusing, than it had to be.
She was scared to death that Tony Paul would seek her out, adding to her overall discomfort. Surprisingly he never did. This confused her even more. By the time she finally came back into the house, Harper was passed out on the sofa and Penelope was nowhere to be seen. She peered into every dark corner, expecting Tony Paul to jump out like he had become accustomed to doing.
No one impeded her path up to her room. When she opened the door, Beatrix and Courtney, who had decided to stay in the same room despite the new opening throughout the house, were both dozing in their twin beds. She took a deep breath as she closed the door behind her.
“Are you okay?” Courtney asked softly, and Lacy turned her direction. She was still lying in bed, with the moonlight dancing off the gold highlights in her hair.
“I’m fine,” Lacy dismissed as she climbed into her own bed. She didn’t even bother getting undressed.
Courtney sat up on one elbow. “You know none of that is about you, right?”
Lacy positioned herself on her side as well. “It sure feels personal.”
“They’re jealous. People try to tear down the thing that scares them the most, that threatens them the most.”
“I’m just here to sing,” Lacy mumbled.
“Exactly,” Courtney responded. “For everyone else who came here to be an instant star, you’re a threat.”
Lacy stared through the darkness at the other woman she once considered a threat. Now her kind words meant more than she could ever know. “Thanks, Courtney,” she said softly.
Courtney smiled. “Night, Lacy.” She turned to face the window.
Lacy huddled in her own bed until morning.
Elimination night didn’t hold too many surprises. Despite the judges’ comments, Jonah was voted through with relatively little drama. He joined Lacy and Tony Paul on the sofa. She offered him a small smile of encouragement. In the end, Twitchy faced off against Richie Cruz, but it wasn’t enough to save him. Harper had to battle her nemesis, Penelope. If Lacy didn’t know any better, she’ could have sworn that Harper threw the performance. It was like she wasn’t even trying. Vanni made the same comment before he cast his vote for Penelope.
Harper stood quietly, her chin held high, as she listened to each judge call Penelope’s name. When Dominique asked her what she had learned from the Fierce journey, she only said, “I’ve learn
ed a lot about the performer, and the woman, I want to be.” The rest of the cast gathered to give her that public hug goodbye, but it proved terribly awkward, as did the party to send her on her way.
Lacy wouldn’t have gone at all had it not been for the fact she wanted to warn Vanni what had been said at the house. Covertly they headed upstairs to another conference room in the hotel. The minute he closed the door behind them, she told him the news. He rested against the door frame. “That’s inconvenient,” was all he said.
“I just wanted you to know from me first, so you weren’t caught with your pants down.”
He chuckled. “Figuratively speaking,” he said with a bemused smirk. He took a deep breath. “It’s not ideal but I can handle this. Can you?”
“Do I have a choice?” she asked.
“Not really,” he told her. “And I got bad news for you, babe. It only gets worse from here on out. The more famous you get, the less wiggle room there is. There’s only one thing the public likes more than watching a star rise, and that’s watching them fall. Take it from me.”
She nodded. She knew his history. “So what do we do now?”
“We wait. See what they’re going to do. But I have to tell you, it might be time to reconsider how much of your personal life you share with the public.”
“Forget it,” she said immediately. Cody was not on the table, then, now or ever.
“Look, I know you’re worried. But I have to tell you, Lacy. With the tattoos and the piercing and the attitude, a slut rumor will not be your friend.”
“People thought I was a slut before I even had sex,” she informed him.
“Fair enough. Just don’t rule it out. That’s all I’m saying.”
She sighed. She wished she could tell him the truth about Tony Paul, but that kind of bombshell threatened both her place and his place on the show. It was drama that Graham Baxter made absolutely crystal clear that he didn’t want. The show had been shadowed by the sex tape from Season One. He was doing whatever he could to keep it legitimate and above board.
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