Jules hadn’t felt pretty for years. She used to blame her ex, Lucas, for that. While she was working hard to pay the bills, he was romancing barflies by the dozen, having countless affairs under the guise of “chasing his dream.”
Truly, Jules hadn’t felt pretty since the last time she went on stage, when she sang backup for a band in Austin. She was only eighteen years old at the time, so her skin was tight, her body taut, and she had a line of admirers at least a block long.
That all changed when she fell like a brick for Lucas Abernathy. Her mother had warned her not to get involved with a musician, but the minute he trained those soulful brown eyes on her, she was a goner. He wore scruffy stubble and a constant smirk, with a PhD in sweet talk. She loved the way her name sounded on his lips, like a melody in and of itself. She was mostly a virgin when she met him over the summer in 1988. Within a week, she had been branded and claimed. Even her mother’s stern disapproval wasn’t enough to extricate herself from his web. It was right where she wanted to be. She was by his side in bar after bar all over the city. It was exciting chasing after the gold, shiny dream that they could actually build a career doing what they loved.
That all skid to a stop by September, when she realized she hadn’t gotten her period. One pregnancy test later and everything changed, both for Lucas as well as for her. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the idea. He romanticized fatherhood from the second he learned she was pregnant. He swore up and down it was a girl. It was his idea to name her Lacy. “What if we have a boy?” she had asked.
“Then we’ll name him Rebel,” he answered. “Like me,” he added as he kissed the tip of her nose. “But Lacy’s first. A beautiful baby girl who looks like you and dreams like me.”
It was even his idea to marry. They would lie in bed for hours as he daydreamed about their musical family. “We’ll get a bus we can live out of,” he told her as he cuddled her close. “We’ll drive all over the country, performing in every single state until we’ve collected them all.”
Her mother had nothing good to say about it, or him, which put Jules in an awkward position. She loved them both, even though loving one meant taking sides against the other. Being pregnant with his child tilted the scales a little more in his favor, but she suspected that she would have run away with him had he asked, pregnant or not.
She believed every dreamy promise he made because she had wanted to. In his arms she was complete. Nothing was missing anymore. She was happy and loved and fulfilled. She wasn’t just aimlessly drifting on a breeze. Her life finally had a direction, and it was straight to the stars. After growing up in a trailer park, with a single mom who worked two jobs just to eke out a meager existence, she wanted to believe that something amazing could really happen for her.
It didn’t take long for reality to set in. Her pregnancy wasn’t an easy one, which meant that she was staying at home in their rat-trap apartment while he was out hustling for gig after gig to pay the bills. He started drinking more heavily during that time. A couple of times he didn’t even make it home. She wondered then if he had found someone else, but he always kissed away her fears, even if he passed out in bed next to her, reeking of smoke and alcohol.
She gained weight with the pregnancy, which made her feel even more insecure. She felt like a cow next to all the groupies who clamored for his attention, which he always gave willingly. “It’s all part of the illusion,” he assured her. Then he’d kiss her so deep her toes would curl.
He was there when Lacy was born. He coached Jules, holding her hand and singing to her so that their baby could be born into a world of music. When he held her for the first time, tears ran down his face as he stared at her like she was the first child ever born. He was in awe of her. Jules remembered many a night when he would pull his guitar in the bed with them, to play and hum a song that would lull her back to sleep after being fed, burped and changed.
He promised that he would give them the life of their dreams. He worked in bars to pay the bills, but music was his first love and his constant mistress. He’d repeatedly blow off this job or that to chase after a gig. “I can get a job tending bar any day of the week. Chances like this don’t come along every day, babe.”
Ultimately it was up to her to bring in an income. She went back to work six weeks after Lacy was born. It had killed her to do it. She wanted nothing more than to spend every waking minute with her precious baby girl. The very first night away from her she had cried openly in front of diners at the restaurant. The blues seemed impossible to shake. The only thing that made it worthwhile was that paycheck she got and the meager tips she brought home.
By the time rent was due, it was never enough. Pretty soon she was playing beat the clock to pay the rent, the electric bill, or keep groceries in the fridge. She picked up all the spare hours she could, which meant working at night. Lucas stayed at home with her whenever there wasn’t a gig to play, but there was always a gig to play. When he wasn’t on stage, he was chasing down the bar owners for his money. If it weren’t for her mother babysitting, they wouldn’t have been able to keep their head above water.
It came with its own price. Her mother reminded her daily what kind of mistake it was to depend on a musician. Within months her mother was dead, which gave them a roof over their head. They only had to pay the space for the lot on which the trailer sat, but it still seemed like there was never enough money. In order to work, she had to pay a babysitter, since Lucas was never home.
By their one year anniversary, which he had skipped because a major gig had opened up for him, Jules was exhausted, overworked, depressed and bitterly disenchanted. The less she worshipped him, the more time he spent around those who would. This included Lacy once she was old enough to walk and talk.
She supposed that he loved her as best as he could. And she adored him. It was the only reason that Jules hung on even after the magic had faded. She couldn’t give her daughter much, but she was determined to give her a father.
That lasted until he almost allowed her to be raped at fourteen, just to further his career.
She hadn’t forgiven him for that, to this very day.
Jules took a hard line against the music business after that, to keep Lacy safe from another user or poser or abuser. Lacy had barely made it out of Doyle Quinlan’s office intact. The last thing Jules had wanted for her was to get pregnant before she was twenty.
Her plan was effectively thwarted by Tony Paul Hollis, a good looking, entitled rich boy who promised to restore to Lacy what she lost in her dad. They could share their love of music and she wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.
Eventually, though, Tony Paul chose the music, as had Jonah after him.
Needless to say, Jules no longer tried to attract anyone. She didn’t believe in love. She didn’t believe in magic. She believed in hard work and long suffering. And maybe, just maybe, she could find peace when they planted her in the ground.
Her new friends, however, had other ideas. Clementine virtually made her over, while Vi and Don practically moved into her place, spending as much time as they could together from sunup to sundown. They refused to let her wallow. They refused to let her brood. With them, she could laugh again. They would play board games till the wee morning hours, or watch movies, new and old, as they sat together on the couch sharing a big bowl of popcorn.
It was almost like being a teenager again, except that she had never done these things as a teenager. It was all new to her. Every time she looked down at her hands, at the manicure she’d never dare splurge for on her own, she felt like a princess starring in her own fairy tale.
Each and every Tuesday that followed threatened to bring that story to a close. It was easily her least favorite day of the week. Lacy hadn’t been in any real jeopardy since Week One, but over eight weeks, they had seen people leave on a strong performance. Any one of them could go at any minute, a fact of which they were all keenly aware.
The only ones who weren’t were the Hollises. They had mo
ved in to stay. They regularly hosted parties to celebrate just one more week together, usually on a Wednesday, but Jules hadn’t attended any.
She couldn’t look those people in the face without telling them exactly what she thought about them. They had abandoned her daughter and her grandson when they had the means to make a difference in both of their lives. That was unbelievably cruel. They were so rich they wouldn’t have even missed the money. Just a thousand a month would have made the difference between having a life and barely managing to survive.
But instead of throwing a life raft to them, they pulled up their anchor and sailed away. They didn’t even care that their very own kin could suffer in the process.
Jules knew she’d never forgive them, no matter how Vi had tried to soften her about it.
“Cody needs both branches from his family tree, Jules. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for the future of our children is to make amends for our past.”
“Every time Lacy went to the Hollises, they let her down. They’d do the same thing to him and you know it. He’s too little to understand why.”
Jules couldn’t bear it. As long as there was breath in her body, she’d protect her grandson.
Truth be told, these last eight weeks had been heaven, just because they could spend so much time together. Instead of racing around, desperately trying to make ends meet, she was able to play with him and sing to him and read to him. It was everything she had wanted to do with Lacy when she was little, but hadn’t had the opportunity.
She felt happier and healthier than she had in a while. She had cut her smoking in half and no longer stayed up all night coughing.
After spending time with Leah, and seeing what her CF had done to her, ravaging her body and threatening her life, Jules would never have lit up a cigarette in front of her. It would have been the ultimate slap in the face, and Leah was much too sweet to hurt.
In fact, Jules was constantly amazed with her new friends, who often helped her with no questions asked. They were quick to clean up after themselves, offering to do the dishes or cook a meal. Since all their gatherings had to be a Jules’s townhome, they never got the chance to host. They made up for it in another ways. Like this particular Friday, when Don was babysitting Cody so that they could have a girl’s day.
Cody adored Don. He hadn’t been around a lot of men in his short life, so it wasn’t surprising that he found each one he met utterly fascinating. It made her heart ache for him. He desperately needed a father, yet no one had ever really applied for the job.
Even if they had, Lacy wouldn’t have let them in. In that respect, Jules had trained her well. But what if she had been wrong? What if he needed more, just like she had, or Lacy had?
That day when she got home, she gave him a big bear hug, to fill his heart with love. It was the only thing of any value she had to give. He squealed when he saw her nails. Clementine had instructed the nail artist to paint lively green froggies on each one. “Nana!” he exclaimed as he grabbed her hand. “You have frogs on your fingers!” To Cody, this was the funniest thing ever. He giggled and squealed as he examined the fun artwork.
She laughed. She knew Clementine had done this one just for him. She made a mental note to send her a thank you card before she turned to Don. “Did he behave?”
“Are you kidding? We had a grand time, didn’t we, pal?” Cody nodded, still enamored with Jules’s nails. “We did watch wrestling, though.”
She made a face. “Why do you do that?”
“Because he’s a boy,” Don explained as he snatched him up in the air. “And boys wrestle. Or is it ‘rassle’ where you come from?”
“It’s called fake,” she retorted. He covered Cody’s ears and glared at her playfully.
“I’ll have you know that our little heavyweight knows some killer new moves now. Come on, Cody. Show your gramma what you’ve learned.”
Jules watched as her grandson gingerly grabbed Don’s hand, which, of course, made him bend over backward like he’d just been tossed to the ground. He swooped Cody up over him and held him up, crowing like just like a ring announcer. “And the new world champion is Cody Abernathy!” He then mimicked a thunderous crowd as he jiggled Cody around until he was giggling.
Jules smiled at them. Her life had opened up so much in the last few months. She had never known exactly what she was missing. “You’re so good with him.”
He set Cody on his feet and the little boy raced off, spotting something else that warranted his attention. “I just love kids,” Don said as he stared after him. “They see life so simply. If they want love, they ask for it. If they’re in pain, they tell you. If they need help, you know it. Somewhere along the line we lose that.”
She nodded. Don stood and so did she. “Let me make you some coffee at least,” she offered as she made her way to the tidy, bright kitchen.
“I’ll have a mocha latte with a dollop of cream sprinkled with cinnamon,” he said as he followed.
“So black with sugar?” she teased with a sidewise glance.
“You know me so well already,” he grinned.
“Occupational hazard,” she shrugged. “I used to be a waitress.”
“What a waste,” he commented as he leaned against the counter.
Again she shrugged. “What else was I going to do?”
“What else did you want to do?”
She turned to face him. “Believe it or not, I thought I wanted to be a singer.”
“Well, you know you have to sing for me now,” he said with that irrepressible smile.
“I said that was what I thought I wanted. I’m no singer.”
“Lacy had to get it from somewhere,” he pointed out.
She averted her gaze. “She got it from her father.”
He nodded. He knew the story. “I’d still like to hear you sing, though.”
“Yeah, Nana,” Cody agreed from the table, where he was now furiously coloring a page full of cartoon frogs. “Sing.”
She laughed. “Ganging up on me, I see!” Cody giggled. He loved seeing his grandma so happy. “Fine,” she conceded at last. She searched her memory for a song. Finally she settled on a song by Three Dog Night. Don listened as her raspy, throaty voice opened up with each verse. He joined her on the chorus, which took her by surprise. When they were done, Cody applauded for them. Don grabbed her hand and they bowed for their captive audience.
Don turned back to her. “You’re completely wrong, by the way. Lacy didn’t get her talent from her dad. She’s got your voice all the way.”
Jules shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I’m too old. My time has passed.”
He coughed and sputtered like an elderly man. “Yep, in our day we had to walk back and forth to gigs, through the snow and uphill, both ways.” He coughed and mimicked a bad back.
She playfully swatted him. “You know what I mean.”
He looked her right in the way. “The way I figure it, it’s never too late to live happily ever after. What have you got to lose?”
“Well, thank you but if it’s all the same, I’ll just leave that to Lacy. She’s stronger than me. She can handle it.”
“Bullshit,” he coughed into his hand. “Her voice isn’t the only thing she gets from you, Jules.”
Their gaze held for a beat before she turned toward the coffeemaker to finish his coffee. He was quiet as he walked back into the comfortable living room that had felt more welcoming than his sterile, lonely condo just a few doors down. Unlike Jules, who had Cody, Don lived alone at his place. The only family he had left was Sydney, and she was living at the mansion with all the other contestants.
He’d rather be here with Jules and Cody than down at his place any day. He enjoyed Vi’s and Leah’s company as well, but there was something about Jules. Every now and then he would get a glimpse of something, just a brief flash that was gone in a second, like a flickering will-o'-the-wisp lighting his way down a ghostly, dark path. He wasn’t scared in the least. It only made hi
m want to know more. Whether she was using him as a free babysitter or a little extra muscle against the Hollises across the street didn’t really matter to Don.
He would use any excuse he could think of to spend time there.
He planted himself on the soft sofa. His heart skipped a beat when she joined him. He’d learned more about her in those three minutes they sang together than all the weeks they’d spent talking. She was truly lovely. He only wished he had the nerve to tell her that.
She sat next to him with her own cup of coffee, and tucked one leg under the other. “You’re no slouch yourself,” she said. She hadn’t sung with anyone in a long, long time. She kind of liked how they sounded together.
He chuckled. “I’m a karaoke king,” he announced proudly. “I’d never have the balls to get up on a national stage and do what they’re doing, though.”
“Tell me about it. I have a minor panic attack every time Lacy steps out on that stage. She’s so fearless. I have no idea where she gets it.”
He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Cody was out of earshot. He leaned closer. “Bullshit. You’re one of the bravest people I know. The only problem is you’ve forgotten just how powerful you are.” He reached for his cell phone. “And I think it’s about time for a reminder.”
“What are you doing?”
“Shhh,” he said. “Hey, Vi. What are you doing tonight?”
Vi and Leah arrived a little before six o’clock. Originally he had invited the vivacious blonde to join him and Jules on their Friday night adventure, but Vi was having a devil of a time with her allergies and decided to bow out. He sent her a suspicious glare, suspecting that she was sneakily playing matchmaker. She shrugged and smiled, which only made him want to hug her. She was such a dear, sweet woman. He knew that no matter what happened, they’d be friends for life.
Southern Rocker Showdown Page 15