She nodded. She needed him, too. She had been a raw wound for a while, desperately longing for something she couldn’t even name. With all the complications in her life, it was reassuring to know she could count on this if nothing else. While every other man she’d ever met had been unpredictable, Jonah Riley was a rare constant.
She peeled her shirt from her body. He groaned as he looked down at her chest, obscured by the wisp of a bra that she wore. He growled a bit in his throat as he pushed it out of the way, cupping both breasts in both hands, causing her to gasp out loud. To retaliate, she store his black shirt open. That chest that America had lusted over was exposed for her hungry eyes alone. That was when she spotted it, something she hadn’t seen before.
“What is this?” she asked as she ran a gentle finger over the bold black lines under his skin right above his heart. It was a black and gray tribal style tattoo of a guitar made up of musical notes. It was beautiful and it was interesting and it was completely at home on his solid chest.
“Read it,” he said softly, his eyes locked with hers.
She ran her finger along the swooping lines, taking in every detail. Finally she found her name cleverly hidden among the graceful lines of the notes strewn together to compose the neck of the guitar. Her eyes shot to his. “Jonah.”
“Inked forever,” he murmured softly. “It has always belonged to you, anyway.”
She gazed at him in wonder. He had done this for her? She couldn’t believe it. Aside from Cody, every man she had loved was looking for a reason to escape. He had made his commitment to her as permanent as he possibly could, despite their being apart. It was his first tattoo and he had given it to her.
She didn’t have to tell him she loved him. It was right there in her eyes for him to see. He snaked his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her down for another kiss, shoving his tongue into her mouth until she was grinding against him. He grabbed a handful of her hair as she dropped a hand between their bodies and fumbled with the fastener of his pants. He sprang free, landing against her bared thigh with a heavy slap.
“I need to be inside you,” he muttered against her mouth.
She nodded. She needed him too. She rose up just enough for him to ease her underwear down under her skirt, over her hip, slipping out of one leg. She straddled him, hovering just over his pulsating cock. “Do you have a condom?”
“Do we need one?” he asked. His eyes pierced hers. Many months ago, they had broken up because he hadn’t trusted her to take care of them by using birth control.
He was a different man now.
She shook her head. “No. I’m good.”
“Then so am I,” he said. He wrapped his arms around her as his mouth crushed hers, thrusting himself inside of her before either one of them could change their mind. She cried out as he filled her. She hadn’t realized how empty she’d been.
Likewise he held her down on top of him, savoring how she felt all around him, like a dream. Only this time she was real. And she was there in his arms, making love to him like he had wanted for so fucking long. How he would have loved to take his time with her, but they had already turned off into Hollywood. He grabbed her hips as he started fucking her like a man possessed.
She met each and every thrust. It wasn’t just lust anymore. They had shared that several times over. This was so much more than sexual attraction. It was healing, and reassuring, and transcendent. His head tipped back as she ground down on him. “God, baby,” he muttered. “You’re everything.”
She touched his tattoo with her fingertip. For once, she actually believed that. She clutched his shoulders with her hands as she raced off the cliff into oblivion, floating away in a storm of passion and love. “Jonah,” she whimpered as she came. He shuddered against her before he slammed her down on top of him, reveling in every contraction of every muscle until she milked him dry. They struggled to catch their breath before he hugged her tighter as he kissed her deep and full. When his eyes met hers, there was no fear. There was no second guessing. There was no doubt. “I love you.”
She caressed his face with her hand. His beard still tickled her palm. “I love you, Jonah.”
He practically wept with joy. He stole one final kiss as they passed through the gate and inched up the drive to the house. By the time the car came to a stop, both were dressed and exited the car as if nothing had happened. He touched her hand just inside the front door, then they parted ways with a smile.
They had found their way back to each other. They would not get lost again.
Chapter Fifteen
There was a time when Lacy and Jonah had looked forward to Tuesdays. They had no idea that the day would come when they would dread them. This one was a doozy because it had so much on the line. At least one of them could guarantee their spot in the summer tour. The odds both of them would make it were a little lower.
Neither one of them was ready to say goodbye just yet, especially after their tryst in the limo. Their explosive union had been a long time coming, but it had been just a taste of what they wanted or needed from the other. If one of them went home tonight, it would devastate the both of them. How could they say goodbye now, even if it was temporary?
She couldn’t imagine going back to her apartment with her mother, watching the show every week, knowing he was so close but so far out of her reach. He couldn’t imagine it either. They had saved every single dime they could over the past eight weeks, which meant they wouldn’t have to worry about money at least. But that was the least of their worries.
They wanted to be together. Nothing else mattered.
Every time she thought of his tattoo, she was completely overwhelmed. It was more permanent than a wedding ring, a piece of jewelry he could wear or discard. The tattoo was there for life. That meant he wanted to have her near him for the rest of his life, even when they weren’t able to be together.
It still boggled her mind. From Lucas to Tony Paul, other men she had loved left skid marks when they left, which had made her feel useless and inadequate and unlovable.
With that one gesture, Jonah had restored her sense of self. She honestly couldn’t believe she had wasted one moment on the likes of Tony Paul. Jonah was more a man than he could ever be.
But, after the song he performed yesterday, she had to wonder if there was some hope for him yet. She had sent him Cody’s picture on an impulse. She really didn’t know why she did it except for that it was right to do. He had left her, but she had also kept her son hostage from that side of his family. And for what? For money? Just so he’d jump when she said so?
That wasn’t fair to Tony Paul, but it really wasn’t fair to Cody. He deserved to know who he was.
Lacy decided that she would work towards a compromise the minute she was done with the competition. As the day raced on, she worried that was coming sooner rather than later.
Granted she had a great performance. But she knew the rumors, although false, could shade how the audience viewed her. Plus she hadn’t done anything really fantastic. She sang the song well, but she didn’t have a “moment” like Tony Paul, Shiloh or Jonah. She came in mid-pack, which were not odds to her liking.
She was a nervous wreck when Tony Paul caught up with her in her bedroom that afternoon. She had packed just in case. In her own weird way, this was her superstition. She had packed every week since Week One, when she was at the most danger of going home. Because she prepared to go home, she never did.
She hoped that would hold true in Week Eight.
He shut the door behind her before he approached. It wasn’t a creepy thing. He just wanted a little privacy. He spotted his old frog in her suitcase, sitting next to one of Cody’s frogs. “I just wanted to get a minute alone with you, to tell you how much it meant to me to get Cody’s picture.”
She straightened to face him. She nodded. “I’m sorry it took so long.”
“Me too,” he offered graciously. They stared at each other for a long moment. “Lacy,” he sta
rted, though he wasn’t exactly sure what he wanted to say. Finally he said, “Good luck.”
She smiled. “You too.” Her eyes fell on Cody’s frog. Impulsively she reached for it and handed it to Tony Paul. He held it in his hands, a tiny stuffed toy that had been held and cuddled and loved by his son.
“Won’t he miss it?” he asked, emotion strangling his voice.
She shrugged. “Maybe you can give it back to him when this is all over.”
His eyes shot to hers. “Do you mean it?”
“You’re changing, Tony Paul. I see it. I never thought I’d see it, but I do. And the truth is, Cody should know who his father is.”
He nodded and met her eyes. “What about us?”
“What about us?” she repeated.
He put the frog on her bed and stepped closer. He reached for her hands before she could stop him. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, Lacy.” She was shocked silent as he continued. “Maybe we can give Cody something more. Like a family.”
“Tony,” she said, and he shuddered.
“He’s the best of both of us,” he said. “I can see it every time I look at his face. No matter what happens here, you can come back to Austin with me. We can get a place of our own. We could be together. We could be happy.”
How the hell was she supposed to get out of this one? “I’m already happy,” she said slowly and quietly.
His brow furrowed. “There’s someone else?” She didn’t confirm or deny, which he took as a confirmation. “Is it Vanni?”
She laughed. That whole rumor was so ridiculous. It had never been like that between her and Vanni, but people saw what they wanted to see. “No, it’s not Vanni.”
“Then who is it?”
“Why does it have to be anybody? I can be happy all on my own, you know.”
“Yeah, but you aren’t. Something has happened. Something has changed.”
“Yeah,” she agreed softly. “Me. I mean look at you,” she said as she gestured to him. “Think of how much you’ve changed since you got here.”
His eyes narrowed. “Is that it? Because I’ve put on a few pounds, I no longer trip your trigger?”
She glared at him. “If that were the case, then you would be better off without someone like me, wouldn’t you?” He said nothing. “But no, that’s not it.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t love you, Tony Paul. It has nothing to do with what you weigh or how you look. Our relationship didn’t work because you didn’t stick around. I’ve moved on. Simple as that. And I’m not going to go back to some place I didn’t belong just because you’ve had a change of heart and want to play house. Cody needs you. I don’t.”
His eyes burned as he glared at her. “I see.”
She stepped closer. “I am so thankful you want to be a part of Cody’s life. You should be. He needs you.”
“What if I need you, Lacy?”
“You just think you do. Believe me, one day someone else will come along and you’ll be so much more compatible and she can fill your mom’s house full of children.”
“No, she can’t,” he gritted. “I can’t have any more kids, Lacy. Cody is it.”
She stepped back. So that was the reason that he had had a change of heart. Cody was his last chance to be a father. “Oh,” was all she could say.
He grabbed the stuffed frog from the bed. “Thanks for this. I’ll take good care of it,” he muttered before he spun on his heel and stomped from the room. She sank onto her bed and dropped her head into her hands.
She was still processing everything by the time they took three limos to the studio. She rode with Sydney, Shiloh, Jonah and Courtney. Tony Paul rode with Richie, Penelope and Sylvester. The final car carried everyone else, Maddie, Beatrix, a shy twelve-year-old Louisiana Creole named Annabel Michaud, who had gained a following thanks to being geek chic, and Martha Aguirre, a plus-sized Latin diva with a six-octave range.
No one said much as they took their places, ready to perform their two group numbers. Jonah offered her silent support every time he looked at her. Tony Paul, on the other hand, was angry and confused. She shook her head to rid herself of all these thoughts. She was a professional and she had a show to do. The drama could wait.
Despite how nervous they all were, the first performance went off without a hitch. Vanni marveled that this was their most professional season yet, and he expected great things from all thirteen remaining contestants. That was Dom’s cue to start whittling the final thirteen down to the final twelve.
There was no real drama when it came to Tony Paul or Jonah. Dom didn’t even waste her time faking everyone out. She called their names and then sent them right over to the twelve stools that were reserved for the Finalists.
The two men sat awkwardly next to each other after sharing a brief handshake to congratulate each other.
Then she called Shiloh. His fate was not as certain. She sent him to one of the three stools that held the bottom performers. Lacy instantly wanted to cry. His was the performance of a lifetime. How could the public not see that?
Finally Dom called Courtney and Lacy. Both stood next to each other, with Courtney threading her arm through Lacy’s as they waited. Lacy could feel the other girl tremble. She squeezed her arm in friendly assurance. Sure enough, Courtney joined Tony Paul and Jonah on the other side of the stage.
Dom turned to Lacy. “The judges really enjoyed your version of ‘Imagine’ last night. Vanni said that he believed you’d be on tour soon. How much would making this tour mean to you, Lacy?”
Her mouth was suddenly dry as a bone. She cleared her throat. “It would mean everything,” she managed. “It would change my life.”
“How do you think you did last night?”
“I’m happy with my performance,” she said softly. “But it’s not up to me.”
“Too true,” Dom smiled at the camera before she glanced down at the results cards in her hand. Her voice softened. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait a little bit longer for your answer, honey. You get to go sit with Shiloh.”
There were tears in her eyes as she walked to her friend. He opened his arms and took her into a strong hug. They sat on the stools while Dom segued to a commercial break. It was during that break they had to regroup and perform their second number, which was a Herculean task given that she was facing another night in the bottom three.
“It’ll be okay,” Shiloh reassured her. “No matter what happens.”
She nodded, but she wasn’t convinced. She knew that the rumors could totally affect the voting. They had no idea who she was, and wouldn’t unless she decided to open up about it. Boy, wouldn’t Tony Paul hate her then?
They came back to a high-octane number with a lot of complicated dance steps. Sadly, though, her heart wasn’t in it. She just knew that they were going to send her home, no matter how well she did in the sing-off. She lagged behind and stumbled until finally, mercifully, she and Shiloh were sent back to their stools.
In the end it was Richie who joined them, which was a nightmarish scenario for Lacy. On her only other elimination sing-off, she had gone against his sister, Lila. It had not gone well. She could feel him tense up beside her. He wouldn’t even look at her face.
The three of them joined Dominique center stage. “Are you surprised by this lineup?” she asked the judges.
Vanni nodded immediately. “Granted, it was a total crap shoot coming into tonight’s show simply because everyone did so well yesterday. But Shiloh had the performance of his Fierce career. I don’t see how anyone could have missed that.”
Lacy nodded as she clasped Shiloh’s hand in hers. She didn’t want to lose one of her closest friends in the house. She had learned so much from him already. Dom referred to the cue cards in her hands. “Good news is that the audience didn’t miss it. Shiloh, you’re safe. Welcome to the Fierce tour.”
He was overwhelmed as he tried to process this new information. Lacy launched herself
right into his arms, hugging his neck tight as tears squeezed from her eyes. She could handle quite a lot of things. His going home was not one of them. “You’ve got this,” he murmured in her ear. She nodded, but at this point, she really didn’t care what the outcome was. If he couldn’t get voted through on the strength of that performance, what the hell were any of them doing there?
She stood closer to Richie, who openly seethed. “This is the bottom two for Week Eight. We’re going to give you both a chance to sing for your place in the summer tour.”
“I won’t need it,” Richie told her. “I know I’m not getting voted through.”
“Excuse me?” she said.
“This whole competition is rigged. I’ve watched it from the inside. Judges have their favorites and their favorites always win,” he said as he glared at Lacy.
Since they were live, there was little anyone could do to stop his rant. The judges just tried to mitigate the damage.
“This show is not rigged,” Vanni corrected, which made Richie openly scoff. “We give each contestant equal opportunity to perform, and choose the strongest of the two.”
“Please,” Richie practically snorted. “In Week One, Lacy had the worst performance of all of us. When it came to the sing-off, my sister had already proven that she could sing circles around her. But you chose Lacy instead of Lila, because you were getting a little somethin’ somethin’ on the side, and you wanted it from someone who looks like this,” he said as he gestured to Lacy’s alternative appearance.
“Again,” Vanni said in a controlled voice, “this show is not rigged. Lacy’s performance in the sing-off is arguably what she should have done on the live performance show. She knocked it out of the park. Lila, on the other hand, folded under the pressure. That’s what this business is about, Richie. You have to maintain your professionalism or else you’re not going to last.”
Richie threw his arms up, which accidently knocked Lacy back a few feet. Since she was so small and he was not, the momentum of his movement affected her, though he hadn’t directly done anything to put his hands on her.
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