by Cara Bristol
I’d literally and figuratively let my hair down, and a bit of the old panic started to rise, but I breathed through it, and the fear dissipated. The first step to changing my life meant facing my fears. I had to make conscious decisions and eliminate behaviors that didn’t work in my favor.
Despite history and hurt, my father’s parting words had had an effect. True or not, blaming my parents for my rotten childhood wouldn’t give me a happy adulthood. Only I could change the future. I had to take responsibility for my actions, thoughts, decisions.
No more hiding. No more pretending.
I had a great guy who would rock my world for the rest of my life—if I let him.
“My father died,” I said.
Kord jerked. “Good Fates! When?” He tightened his arms around me in a secure embrace.
“Yesterday afternoon.”
“I’m so sorry,” he said.
“Thank you.”
He hesitated. “You’ve never mentioned him.”
“No. I didn’t have a good relationship with either of my parents.” I took a breath for courage. I hadn’t shared more than tidbits of my childhood or home life with anyone. I hadn’t wanted anybody to know how I grew up. Ashamed of the dysfunction and chaos, I’d tried to pass for normal.
My past could never be normal, but my future could be.
“My father was an alcoholic. My mother, too. He died of liver disease. Growing up with two alcoholic parents created an unpredictable and chaotic environment. I can’t count how many times they let me down. Unable to rely on them, I didn’t trust people. Besides being afraid of being disappointed, I worried I would let people down. And I did. I disappointed people—men—all the time. They could only get so close to me, and once they crossed this invisible line in my head, I’d panic and run.”
A self-fulfilling prophecy, I realized. “That’s what happened with you. You started talking about forever. I knew you wanted children, and I got scared. What if I turn out to be a terrible mother?” The big honking diamond he’d given me sparkled as I waved my hand. “I can’t even take care of a cat! Boots has disappeared.”
“Boots is fine. I have her. Well, my brother Braxx does. I took her with me when I left.”
“What a relief!”
He cupped my cheek and stared into my eyes. “You could never be a terrible mother, but as much as I would love to have kits with you, if you don’t want to, I can accept that.”
I swallowed. “If…if…you’ll help me, I would like to have children with you.”
The glint in his eyes told me he wanted that very much. “Whenever you’re ready,” he said.
“It may be sooner than we think.” I rubbed the lump on my arm from the subcutaneous birth control implant. The expired one. “My contraceptive ran out a while ago.” We’d been having unprotected sex since the very first time, and, as I did a quick mental calculation, I realized my period was late. No matter how busy or preoccupied, I’d never failed to replace the implant on schedule. I wondered if my forgetfulness had been a subconscious on-purpose accident.
“We’ll handle it together,” he said, and I believed him, making the prospect of parenthood merely scary instead of terrifying.
Thank goodness I’d come to my senses in time. What if he’d left for Dakon, and then I’d discovered I was pregnant? Now, that would have been terrifying.
“It never occurred to me you would leave Earth,” I said. Self-absorbed much? After rejecting him, how could I expect him to just hang around?
“I lost hope,” he admitted. “If I couldn’t have you, I figured why not return to my planet?”
“I’m sorry.” I’d caused him so much pain.
“No more apologies. We’re together now. That’s what counts.” He squeezed my hand, the one with the ginormous rock on it. “When I came to say goodbye to the staff, I intended to leave you with a gift to remember me by. I planned to put it on your desk if you weren’t here.”
“An engagement ring?”
“I didn’t know that’s what it was at first. Since Dakon is covered with illuvian ore, I decided a rock of some sort would be appropriate. I noticed this stone immediately. The way it sparkled reminded me of your eyes when you laugh. And it was big—like Texas.”
Texas? Hell, it was the size of Alaska! It was bigger than my hair used to be.
“So, I bought it, and then the salesman explained the tradition behind it and how to propose. Of course, I didn’t think the occasion would come to pass.”
An automatic apology sprang to my lips, but I held it back. Actions spoke louder than words. I planned to love him so much and so deeply he would never doubt it. “I love you,” I said instead.
“I love you, too.” He smiled, hugged me tight, and leaned back in the chair. “The Fates are never wrong.”
Epilogue
Kord
Six months later
I waited in the vestibule of Barbie Q’s to greet the guests and direct them to a corner of the dining room where the showering would occur. I’d been skeptical my mate would enjoy communal bathing until Holly explained showering was a party to celebrate the birth of a kit. For only the second time, Barb had closed the restaurant to the public—but only during the lunch hour; it would reopen for dinner. I no longer worked as a busboy, but I filled in for special occasions, like this one.
“Sorry I’m late.” A woman rushed in. “I just arrived from Dakon. Customs was backed up for hours at the spaceport, and the freeway traffic was a nightmare. I don’t miss Earth’s congestion, that’s for sure.”
“You must be Moxie,” I guessed, recognizing her by her hair, the top half brunette and the bottom half blonde. Holly had given me a description of her. I tapped her name on my small computer pad to check her off the list. All the guests had arrived now; the showering could begin.
“Guilty!” She grinned. “You must be Kord. It’s so good to finally meet you! Barb and I email all the time. She’s told me so much about you. I’m so happy for you both!” She craned her head to peer around me. “She still doesn’t know I’m coming?” she whispered.
“Nope.” I grinned. I loved being able to surprise Barb. She knew about the party because Holly and I had coordinated with her for the guest list, but she’d never expected Moxie would be able to attend. Her friend had moved to my planet last year. Jessie from the Intergalactic Dating Agency had managed to get Moxie and her mate, Sixx, passage on the return trip of the SS Surprise, which had ferried a group of mail-order brides to Dakon. “Go see her.” I motioned.
I followed her into the main room where my very pregnant mate relaxed in the comfortable chair I’d carried down from her office. Barb chatted with her mother, seated next to her. Jessie, on her other side, noticed Moxie first, grinned, and nudged my mate.
Barb looked up. Her eyes widened. “Moxie!” she squealed. She struggled to rise, and I sprang forward to help her, but Jessie and Ramona assisted her before I could get there. She and Moxie hugged. “What are you doing here? How did you get here?” Barb cried.
Moxie nodded at me and the IDA match coordinator. “Kord and Jessie arranged it. The timing worked out wonderfully. I get to visit you and celebrate the upcoming birth of your daughter, and I can hit a bunch of Comic-Cons and other trade shows and market T-Rex Island, my video game that launched six months ago.”
“Did Sixx come with you?” Barb asked. “Your daughter Charlotte? What about Joho your stepson?”
“Yes to all three. They’re at the hotel. Joho’s mother agreed to let him come see Earth. We’ll take both kids to Disneyland. Charlotte is too young to remember any of it, but Joho will have a blast.”
Moxie grabbed Barb in another hug. “I’m so damn happy for you, I could burst.”
Barb laughed. “I feel like I could burst.” She rubbed her huge belly. “One month to go. Moxie, I think you met my mother once back in high school?”
“I did.” Moxie shook hands with Ramona. “How are
you Mrs. Quintain?”
“Sober. Seven months now!”
“Uh…” Moxie glanced at Barb then back at Ramona. “That’s wonderful. Congratulations.”
There was a moment of awkwardness, but then a guest asked, “Moxie, your husband is Dakonian, too?”
“Yes. I met him through the Intergalactic Dating Agency.” Moxie motioned at me and Barb. “You two had joined, but you didn’t meet through the agency? It didn’t work for you?”
“That’s because they both fibbed on their profiles.” Jessie glowered a little. “If they’d filled them out accurately, I’m quite sure they would have been matched! Fortunately, I was able to step in and fix it!”
Barb winced apologetically. “We met when Kord came in to eat at the restaurant.”
“Okay, ladies, let’s get this party started!” Holly cut in.
Moxie took a vacant seat among the other females, which included Barbie Q’s female waitstaff, a half-dozen girlfriends, and a couple of cousins. Recognizing the showering as a phea-hen-event, I tried to slip away, but Barb insisted I stay. Ramona scooted over one seat, and I took a place next to my mate.
We played games like charades, Pictionary, and reaching into a bag to guess the baby-related mystery items. Most of the women did pretty well, but I only got one right: I guessed foot-covering for a bootie, and they credited me a point. I missed rubber duck, pacifier, rattle, bib, ear thermometer, and teething ring. Then we sampled some bland, tasteless stuff in jars and had to guess the flavor. I couldn’t figure that out, either. But they all made faces and laughed and seemed to enjoy themselves.
Fortunately, the barbecue and the cupcakes Slade had prepared for the showering tasted much better.
After the games and the meal, Holly directed Barb and I to open the presents. We received bags and bags of diapers, several blankets, pink and lavender clothing, some baby toys, and stuffed animals. Moxie presented us with a video game she’d developed for babies. “Just load it onto your computer pad or phone,” she said.
Then Holly stood up. “We have one more present. The entire restaurant, the girls, Slade, the busboys, chipped in to get you something special.” She pulled a remote from her pocket and pressed a button.
A hover stroller floated into the dining room from the hall. Barb gasped. “You didn’t!” She glanced at the waitresses and Holly. “Are you crazy? Do you know what those things cost!”
Holly handed me the remote. “It also comes with a wristband so you don’t have to carry the controller.”
I pushed a button, and the stroller transformed into a bassinet. Another button turned it into a car seat. One more and it became a baby swing. “This is amazing,” I exclaimed. The single unit could become just about anything a baby needed. On Dakon, we carved cradles out of wood and wove carriers from reeds. Earth technology was unbelievable.
“That is so generous. Thank you. Thank you,” my mate said as I assisted her to her feet so she and I could hug everyone.
Soon after, the showering tapered to a sprinkle as, one by one, the females expressed their good wishes and left.
Moxie and Barb hugged again and finalized plans to meet for lunch.
It was getting close to the time the restaurant needed to open for dinner, so the waitresses who were scheduled to work moved the chairs and tables back into place and then went to put on their uniforms. Holly and Ramona helped load the smaller gifts into the hover stroller to take them to Barb’s car, which we’d parked in the alley behind the restaurant. In two trips, we had everything loaded and ready to take home.
“Thanks so much, Holly!” My mate hugged her.
“You deserve it! I’d better get back to work before the boss catches me slacking off.” She winked and reentered the restaurant.
“Will she and Braxx ever get together?” Barb asked.
My brother still believed she was his Fated mate, and Holly still refused to give him the time of day. “We did,” I said. “The Fates are never wrong.”
“Maybe we should get him a puppy,” she said. “I feel bad we took Boots back.”
“He’s fine.” Or he would be as soon as Holly wised up. These Earth females…
“Well, I’d better be going, too,” Ramona said. “I have an AA meeting. Thank you, honey, for letting me be a part of this.”
“Thank you for being a part of it, Mom,” Barb said. “I’m glad you were here.” They embraced and then Ramona got into her little car, backed out of the alley, and drove away, leaving us alone.
“She’s come a long way,” Barb said. In the six months since we’d been mated, she’d shared more details of her upbringing and her mother’s difficulties with alcohol. Their relationship was being built one day at a time, much like Ramona’s sobriety.
“So have you,” I said. In preparation for our daughter’s birth, we’d both taken parenting classes and read dozens of books. As soon as her pregnancy had been confirmed, we’d moved out of her apartment and bought a “boringly normal” three-bedroom, two-bath ranch-style house in the suburbs. I’d since learned “boringly normal” was high praise coming from her.
“Because of you,” she said. “Your love and support have given me the courage to conquer my fears. I’m not nervous anymore about being a mother—well, I am, but it’s normal nerves, not freak-out nerves.”
“Boringly normal?” I said with grin.
“Exactly.” She smiled.
* * * * *
Thank you for reading Kord: Dakonian Alien Mail Order Brides #5. If you’re curious about what happens between Kord’s brother Braxx and Holly, well, that’s the next book! Read on for a sneak peek excerpt…
Braxx: Dakonian Alien Mail Order Brides #6
Chapter One
Holly
Balancing a huge tray of barbecue with all the fixin’s, Dixie veered my way. “Lover boy is here,” she sang in a loud whisper and chuckled.
“He’s not my lover boy!” More like my stalker, except he’d never done anything but eat dinner, which, the last time I checked, wasn’t a crime. Unfortunately.
“Whatever. Braxx is waiting for you at his usual table.”
Table eight at 7:00 p.m. The dude had a standing reservation at Barbie Q’s and never failed to show. I could set my watch by his arrival. Would the man never give up? What would it take to get it through his horned alien head I wasn’t interested?
If he’d been just any guy, any customer, I could have asked Barb, my boss, to ban him from the restaurant, except Braxx happened to be her brother-in-law. If I had realized her mate, Kord, had come with familial attachments, I might not have tried so hard to get Kord and Barb together. What was done, was done. “I’ll deal with him.” I sighed.
Dixie scooted away to deliver her meals to her customers. A slow burn heating in my neck spread up to my face as I stomped over to table eight.
As soon as Braxx spotted me, he flashed a confident grin, like he expected a twitch of his full lips and a flash of white teeth to have some sort of effect. However, that grin acted like the measles. If you caught it and survived, you were immune. My ex-fiancé, Addison, used to smile in that same brash way. I’d fallen for it back when I was young and stupid, but I liked to think I’d matured.
Thank goodness because on Braxx that smile could be lethal. Even though he left me stone-cold, I had to admit he was the handsomest man I’d ever laid eyes on, and Dakonians as a whole were an attractive bunch. They defined tall, dark, and handsome. Seven feet tall, most of them. Mocha skin, near-black hair worn to the shoulders. Muscles to spare.
In the genetic game of chance, the Dakonians had been dealt a royal flush—if you overlooked the mutation causing female births to plummet, forcing the males to emigrate from their planet to find mates. The brothers had come to Earth through the Intergalactic Dating Agency, which matched Earth girls with alien bachelors.
“Same as usual?” I eased into the confrontation with a little chitchat.
He nodded. “D
ixie is bringing the brisket.”
He’d been here so often, he knew all the waitresses’ names. He always ordered the same thing—barbecue beef brisket, no sauce. Barbie Q’s brisket drew a lot of Dakonians because the flavor reminded them of kel, some sort of animal on their home planet.
Okay, enough small talk. “You need to stop coming here,” I said. “Go back to the IDA, reactivate your membership, and start dating.”
“I can’t do that. You’re my mate,” he said.
In another unfortunate happenstance, the first time Braxx had come into the restaurant, he’d imprinted on me like a duck, gotten it into his crazy head that we were Fated mates.
He looked at me now, and his leathery dark horns seemed to swell and twitch. His expectant expression stabbed me with guilt then pissed me off for making me feel guilty then heaped on more guilt for getting angry. My stomach fluttered in the oddest way. Almost a tugging sensation. Dealing with him always put me in a tizzy.
“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not your mate? I will never be your mate.” I shoved my hands into my apron pockets.
He quirked his mouth. “You say that, and yet you keep coming to see me.”
“To convince you to leave me alone!” I didn’t come that often, either! I dodged him whenever possible, avoided him like the plague, made myself scarce. It was a coincidence and bad luck our paths crossed as often as they did.
He shrugged and spread his palms, drawing my attention to his hands. He had masculine hands, working man’s hands, big and broad but with long fingers, the pads slightly callused, the nails neatly trimmed but unmanicured. You could tell a lot about a man from his hands. In contrast, Addison’s fussy hands had put the man in manicure. “So, stay away, then,” Braxx said.