by Claire Raye
He returns to the table and the moment has passed, both of us now wrapped up in our hunger as he dishes out the food.
I take one bite of a taco and I’m moaning out loud. It’s been so long since I’ve had anything this good, basically living off frozen pizza, Ramen noodles and apples for the last two years. My head falls back and it’s like I’m having an out of body experience. I could eat thousands of these tacos and never get sick of them.
“Oh, to hear you moan like that,” Reid says, licking his lips as he watches me.
“Please, you can make any girl moan like this every day of your life.” And then I proceed to moan out his name, making fun of the way any of the girls I’ve ever seen wrapped around him act. “Oh, Reid…” I drop my mouth open and close my eyes.
“Except one,” he mutters, and I cock my head to the side looking at him, but instead of asking him what he meant, I ask a more serious question, one that has plagued my thoughts for a while.
“Why do you think you don’t have any serious girlfriends? Why haven’t you ever really dated anyone?”
“Who has time for that shit,” he says, shaking his head and acting like what I’ve asked is the most ridiculous question ever.
“No, seriously. Do you think it’s because having to share with them the bullshit in our lives is too much?”
“You putting yourself in the same category as me?” he asks now and I shrug a little knowing that I do sometimes think it’s all too much. No one wants to deal with someone’s crazy family or their damaged past.
“Maybe.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s part of it,” he replies. “I’m not really interested in bringing someone into my life that I know probably won’t stick around.”
“How do you know they won’t stick around when you don’t give them a chance?” I respond back, not trying to get into a debate with him, but genuinely interested in what he has to say.
“I guess I don’t.” He looks down at the food in front of him, the conversation falling silent and he looks a little disappointed in his answers, like he had more to say. “What about you? You don’t seem to be seeking out those long-term relationships either,” he now adds.
“Yeah, it’s been a long time,” I tease, dragging out the word long. “But you’re not the only who can find themselves a random hookup.”
His jaw tightens, and I watch his teeth clench hard at my words. He takes in a long, slow breath before picking up a taco. He shakes his head, opening his mouth, but instead of taking a bite he says, “I don’t like the idea of you hooking up with random guys. It’s not safe.”
“Please, Reid. I grew up without a father. I don’t need you to be one.”
“I’m not trying to be your father. I’m trying to…” He stops short of finishing, shaking his head as if he knows what he’s about to say will piss me off.
I guess we are learning more about each other as this trip goes on and with each conversation the normalcy is returning. It’s starting to feel like what we once lost isn’t gone forever.
“This has been nice,” I say, filling the void from Reid’s loss for words. “Thank you for reminding me it’s okay to stop and enjoy life once in a while.”
“Thanks for letting me sorta redeem myself,” he replies, giving me a smile I know he only reserves for when he really means something. It’s natural and beautiful, and everything about him feels like the Reid I grew up with right now.
And I love it.
Chapter Sixteen
Reid
We end up finding a dive hotel somewhere on the edge of the city. Sienna still refuses my offer to pay for her room or to even share one and instead we end up in separate rooms, joined by an internal door.
It shits me she won’t just let me take care of it, but I also get why she’s being so stubborn. I do have the money, or rather, my family does, and while I hate being reliant on the cash my dad puts in my bank account each month, rarely spending it unless I absolutely have to, it’s preferable to watching Sienna struggle to make ends meet.
“You feeling tired?” I ask as we stop outside our doors.
Sienna glances at me. “No, not really,” she says, shrugging.
I nod. “Go take a shower and I’ll be back,” I say, as I open my door and throw my bag inside.
“Wait, Reid, where are you going?”
I hold up my hand in a wave as I turn and head back toward the reception area. “I’ll be back, Sie.”
Outside the hotel I walk down to the nearby liquor store I spotted as we drove in. Inside, I head to the fridge, grabbing two six packs of beer before taking them up to the counter.
“ID,” the bored cashier asks me.
I smirk, pulling out my wallet as I slide my driver’s license across the counter. He throws a cursory glance at it as though he doesn’t really give a shit if I’m old enough to buy alcohol. He just wants to look like he’s doing the right thing.
After he rings it up, I grab the six packs and head for the door, just as two girls walk inside.
They stop when they see me, their eyes and smiles widening as they immediately turn and follow me outside. It’s pretty obvious they’re underage and looking for someone to buy their booze. Actually, I’m pretty sure they’d be up for other shit too, given the way they’re sizing me up as they walk toward me.
“Ladies,” I say, smiling as they fall in step beside me.
“Hi,” the blonde one says, hooking her arm through mine. It feels weird and wrong somehow and I try to angle myself away from her, without dropping the beer. “Where are you going?” she asks, oblivious to my discomfort as she looks up at me, biting her bottom lip.
“Back to my hotel,” I say.
“Oh, can we come?” the other one, a brunette, asks, sidling up on my other side. “Looks like a party,” she adds, nodding to the beers I’m holding.
I stop. “What?”
They glance at each other briefly, before turning back to me. “Can we come?” the brunette says again.
“Yeah, we’ll make it worth your while,” the blonde adds.
I glance from one to the other, taking in their hopeful expressions. Ordinarily, I’d be a guaranteed yes if a situation like this presented itself to me, two girls wanting to come back to my hotel room for a good time. But tonight, hell today, things feel different. I feel different. And hooking up with these random girls is the last thing I want to do.
“Sorry ladies,” I say, offering them a grin. “I’ve already got a girl back there waiting for me.”
It’s not exactly a lie, but whatever. Both girls pout a little, but I don’t hang around to see what they’ll say next as I walk the short distance back to the hotel.
After I take a quick shower and pull on some sweats, I knock on the door that separates Sienna’s room from mine. It opens quickly, Sienna standing on the other side, clearly having just showered. She’s dressed in a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, her wet hair pulled into a knot on the top of her head and she looks absolutely fucking beautiful. She’s always had this natural beauty about her that I’ve found irresistible. She’s the total opposite of every girl I’ve ever hooked up with too, which I know is not an accident. But the way she looks, coupled with her smart mouth, her cheeky nature and her ability to laugh at herself, fuck, it all just makes her the complete, perfect package.
If someone was to ever ask me what it was I looked for in a girl. I’d only ever have to give them one answer. Sienna. She is it for me, because absolutely everything about her, the way she looks, the way she acts, the way she gives me shit and isn’t afraid to call me out on it. I love it. I love everything about her.
“Supplies,” I say, holding up a six pack as I walk past her and into her room. I drop the six pack on the table, grabbing two beers from it and twisting off the tops, before turning to hand one to her.
Sienna stands next to the still open door, her mouth hanging open a little and her eyes wide as she stares at me.
“You…you, you don’t have a shirt on.”
I laugh, glancing down at my bare chest. “Um, yep, well done, Sie. Your powers of observation are on point,” I tease, winking at her.
She shakes her head, even as she walks toward the bed. “No, you can’t…you can’t be…”
“What?” I ask, smirking a little. “I can’t be in here like this?” I ask, handing her the beer when she finally reaches the edge of the bed. “It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve seen me like this,” I say, patting the bed beside me. “Sit.”
She gets onto the bed, taking a seat but leaving a foot of space between us. The TV is on, but the volume is low, a football game playing. I clink my bottle against hers before taking a long sip. Sienna does the same and a weird silence falls between us.
“You have more tattoos than I remember,” she eventually says, her words quiet.
I glance at her, a smile on my face. “You remember how many tattoos I have?”
Sienna rolls her eyes, before they move over my arms and chest, as though she’s cataloging my ink. It feels strangely erotic and I have to swallow hard before I say or do something stupid.
“These are new,” she says, pointing to the symbols running down the left side of my torso, her fingers close but still not touching my skin.
I look down at them, even though I know what she’s referring to. “Yeah, got them maybe two months ago,” I say. “They are the newest ones.”
“They look good,” she murmurs, almost as though she’s talking to herself.
I chuckle. “Thanks,” I tell her. “Drew them myself.”
Her eyes flick up to mine now and I can’t help but grin at her. Sienna blushes a little, before taking another swig of her beer. “Maybe you can draw me a tattoo?” she suggests.
“Uh uh,” I tell her, shaking my head. “You’re not getting a tattoo.”
“Reid, what the fuck?” she says, punching my arm. “I thought I told you I didn’t need a father.”
I exhale, wondering how the fuck I’m supposed to explain this to her without acting like the father she doesn’t need or admitting shit I shouldn’t be admitting. “Sorry,” I start. “You know I don’t mean it like that, seriously.” I meet her gaze, offering a small smile before taking another sip of my beer. “What I mean is, you don’t need markings on your skin or whatever, Sie, you’re already beautiful.”
Sienna’s eyes widen at my words as she stares up at me. “But your tattoos are beautiful,” she whispers, glancing down at them again. “They look…” she trails off, her eyes moving over my ink again, her gaze like a caress that sets my skin on fire.
Needing to lighten this situation, I lean over, my mouth close to her ear as I say, “Did you just call me pretty?”
It works, as Sienna once again rolls her eyes at me, her go-to action to most things I say. “Fuck off,” she murmurs, but she’s smiling, and I know she’s only teasing me. The light blush on her cheeks tells me that’s exactly what she was saying too and it’s enough that I cave a little.
“I’ll tell you what,” I start, “if you let me come with you when you get one, let me veto the asshole who’s gonna do it, then maybe I’ll draw one for you.”
Sienna smiles now, doing a tiny fist pump that has me laughing as she settles back against the headboard. We both watch the game for a while, even though it’s a replay and again, doesn’t feature the Pats.
“You miss not playing?” Sienna asks, breaking the silence.
I shrug. “Nah, I don’t know, not really,” I tell her. “I mean I love football and all, but it’s not my life like half the guys I play with.”
From the corner of my eye, Sienna nods. “So no plans to go pro then?”
I chuckle. “Who says I’m good enough?”
Sienna kicks her foot lightly against my leg. “You’re good enough.”
I absorb her words, the way they make my stomach flip. “Nah, I’m not gonna do that,” I admit, never having said these words out loud to anyone before.
“No?” she asks, confused.
I shake my head. “No, I’m not sure that’s the kinda life I want,” I say. “I mean the travel would be great, but I’d rather do that on my own terms, with the people I want to be with.” Sienna doesn’t say anything and when I glance over, she’s watching me, a curious look on her face. “What?” I ask, chuckling a little.
“You’ve never told anyone this, have you?” she asks. “About not wanting to…”
I shake my head. “No, there’s no point. Football’s great ‘cause it got me to college, but it’s not gonna be my life.”
She nods now, looking away. “It’s cool you know that,” she murmurs.
I take a deep breath, figuring I may as well go all in on the football confessions. “It was cool you came to my game, you know? I don’t think I ever thanked you.”
Sienna shoots me a surprised look. “It was good to watch you play again,” she says quietly. “It’s been a while.”
I lean over, nudging her shoulder with mine so we end up sitting closer together. “It was good to have you watch me.”
Sienna swallows hard, biting her bottom lip and I can’t stop staring at her mouth. This whole day has been so different to the last two years, as though we’ve somehow erased all the shit that’s come between us and found our way back to the people we used to be before we moved to California.
Only it’s all been heightened by this weird sexual tension flowing between us, something that has always been there on my end, but somehow got magnified up on that mountain. Magnified in a way that makes me think this isn’t just one sided. And as much as I know I can’t go there with her, out here on the road, with just the two of us, it almost feels like anything is possible.
If she’d just let it happen.
If I just had the guts to try.
Sienna finishes her beer. “Another one?” she asks, quickly moving off the bed before I can answer.
“Sure, thanks.”
She comes back with two more and the TV remote, handing it to me as she says, “Put whatever on.”
I scroll through the channels until I come to something that makes me smile. It’s part way through Silence of the Lambs, a movie Caleb and I convinced Sienna to watch with us when we were kids despite knowing she’s terrified of scary movies.
I laugh, putting the remote on the side table as I say, “This looks good.”
“Ha ha smart ass,” she says. “But this shit doesn’t scare me anymore.”
“Well, good,” I say, squeezing her hand. “But I’m here if you need someone to protect you, okay?”
She rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling, and we settle in to watch the rest of the movie.
When I next open my eyes, the TV is still on, the low light the only thing illuminating the room. I must have fallen asleep and it takes me a few seconds to work out what it is that woke me.
Movement behind me triggers the memory and I freeze, unsure if Sienna is awake or aware of what she’s doing.
I’m lying on my side on her bed, my head on the pillow as I face the window. Sienna is curled in behind me, her body spooning mine, her arm draped around my waist and her fingers lightly brushing against the skin of my stomach, tantalizingly close to the waistband of my sweats.
I feel my body tense as heat courses through me, my heart pounding in my chest as every single nerve comes alive. I can feel the gentle puffs of her breath against the back of my neck, can feel the heat of her body curled around mine and can sense the closeness of her hand to my hard-on.
Fuck.
Everything inside me wants to roll over, to pull her closer and press my mouth against hers. I want to peel these clothes from her body, move my hands over her skin as she moves hers over mine while I bury myself deep inside her.
Fuck.
/> I need to get out of here before I do something I know will only get me in trouble.
Sliding my hand over hers, I hear Sienna mumble something, her fingers curling against my skin and sending a spike of lust straight to my dick. My eyes close, my breathing growing ragged as I struggle with pulling away from her.
My whole body is screaming at me to stay, to just let whatever happens happen, while my brain is telling me to get up and go back to my own room, to leave before it gets impossible.
Exhaling hard, I slowly lift her hand from my skin, shuffling away from her. I feel the loss of her heat immediately and when I glance back, she rolls into the space I was just in, her face pressing into my pillow.
“Fucking hell,” I whisper, standing as I shove a rough hand through my hair and wonder why the fuck I don’t just crawl back into that bed with her.
But I don’t, and before I can change my mind, I pull the duvet over her and then walk quietly back to my own room, leaving the doors that join us, open.
I wake late the next morning, having forgotten to set my alarm after spending most of the night awake. There’s no noise coming from Sienna’s room, but I notice the doors are still open.
It had been impossible to get to sleep after I came back to my bed last night. The hard-on was one thing, but it was the memory of where I’d just been that had been worse.
How many nights had I fantasized about waking up to Sienna curled around me? Too many to count and having now experienced what that felt like in real life, I knew they weren’t going away anytime soon.
I drag myself from bed and head toward the bathroom, the hard-on that never disappeared last night now back in full force. Along the way, I see a note Sienna has left, telling me she’s gone to get breakfast.
I quickly jump in the shower, taking care of the hard-on quickly thanks to the very real fantasy from last night’s sleepover playing through my brain. After I’m done, I dry off, wrapping a towel around my waist before walking out of the bathroom.
I’m rummaging through my bag for some clothes when the door to Sienna’s room opens and she calls out, “Breakfast!”