by Claire Raye
When I next open my eyes, it’s still dark. Rolling over, I reach for Sienna, only to find the bed beside me is empty. Glancing around, I see her, dressed in a robe and standing in front of the window, the blinds half open and the lights of the night sky casting her in shadow.
“Hey,” I say half sitting up. She turns to me, a sad smile on her face that sends a spike of fear through me. “What are you doing over there?” I ask, reaching my arm out to her.
She doesn’t move, just wraps her arms around her waist as she looks at me.
“Sie, what’s wrong?”
She shrugs, but still doesn’t say anything.
“Baby, come here,” I say, holding my hand out to her again. She doesn’t move though, so I get out of bed and walk over to her, pulling her into my arms. She melts into me with a long exhale, her head resting on my chest.
We stand in silence, her fingers moving over my bare arms, tracing the patterns of my tattoos, which stand in stark contrast to the paleness of her unmarked skin.
I lift a hand, brushing her hair back as I cup her face. “Talk to me.”
Sienna blinks up at me. “What happens now, Reid?”
I tilt my head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
She swallows and I feel the movement of her throat against my hands. “With you and me?”
“Sie, what are…?”
“You don’t do more than one night,” she blurts out. “You don’t do…”
“Whoa, okay, slow down.” I frown, finally understanding what’s going on here. It’s as though the end of this night, the knowledge of tomorrow being a new day, has changed things, changed her. As though she thinks she’s like everyone who came before her or something and now that I’ve had a taste, that’s it, I’m done.
She couldn’t be more wrong.
“What?” she asks, blinking up at me.
“You think that’s what this is?” I ask her. “Just one night?” Sienna shrugs but doesn’t say anything and I shake my head. “Baby, you are not just one night, okay?”
“But…”
“But nothing,” I tell her. “You are not those other girls either, not even fucking close. I thought you knew that, I thought you…” I trail off, unsure what to say.
Sienna leans into one of my palms, her eyes closing briefly before she whispers, “So is this a thing then, are we…”
“Sie,” I say, chuckling a little as I brush my thumbs across her cheekbones so she opens her eyes. “We are so much more than just a thing. I want you. I’ve wanted you for fucking ages.” I lean down and brush my lips against hers. “This is not just one night,” I whisper. “I promise.”
“What about Caleb?” she asks, her words barely audible.
“I don’t give a fuck about Caleb,” I blurt out, even though I know deep down, I do care what he thinks about this. “But I will talk to him, okay?” My eyes are locked with hers so she can see the truth in them.
“Okay.”
I smile, leaning down to press another kiss against her lips. Her body folds into mine, her arms slipping around my waist as her fingers dig into my back. “It’s going to be okay.”
She nods, her kiss growing hungry, as though she somehow doesn’t believe me.
“You know,” I whisper, as I put my mouth to her ear, desperately wanting to prove it to her. “I’d really like to fuck you up against this window.”
She gasps, a soft groan falling from her lips. “Yeah?”
I grin, taking her hand and wrapping it around my hard cock as I press a kiss to her neck. “Yeah,” I murmur.
“Okay,” she breathes out as I back her up against the glass, pulling the robe from her body.
Chapter Twenty-One
Sienna
We wake early the next morning, both of us insatiable, exploring each other’s bodies in the filtered sunlight as it peeks through the crack in the curtains. His admittance to me last night is all I needed to hear to know he’s mine and I’m his. It’s all I ever wanted to hear, needed to hear from him.
I’m not certain I can ever go back to Rhode Island at this point. I feel like my life is to be forever lived on the road with Reid, never stopping for more than a day or two. All I ever need is him from now on. It took us this long to get here and I don’t want anything to interfere with our happiness. Going home seems like a huge mistake.
But I shake off my thoughts, knowing we only have a few days left before things change. I need to make the most of my time with Reid because I have no idea what’s going to happen when I get home. I don’t see Caleb losing his shit over my relationship with Reid, but he can be incredibly protective and knowing Reid’s past with women, Caleb’s reaction could be unexpected.
“So what’s on the agenda for today, my handsome tour guide?” I ask, teasingly, my fingers twirling in Reid’s hair as we lie here enjoying this post-coital bliss.
“So much. We’ve got the whole day, but I’ve packed in a ton of stuff. Have you ever been to Chicago?” he asks and I laugh.
“Please, Reid. We’ve known each other our whole lives. Do you really think I’d have gone to Chicago and you wouldn’t have known about it?”
“I don’t know. There came a point when you wouldn’t even speak to me.”
“There came a point when you turned into a real asshole,” I shoot back, but find myself straddling his hips and attempting to pin his arms down because he’s going to be all over my ass for that comment.
“True, true,” he says, barely moving as he wiggles free from my hold and flips me over so he’s now on top of me. “But in my defense, seeing you with other guys made me want to murder anyone who came near you.”
“And what do you think seeing you with other girls did to me?”
He falls quiet for a second, his pale blue eyes scanning my face and a sudden wave of guilt washes over me. He’s with me now, and anyone who came before me shouldn’t matter. I reach up and cup his face, my fingertips brushing the stubble on his jaw.
“I’m sorry…” I start to say but Reid silences me with a finger on my lips.
“You don’t ever have to apologize for the things I did in the past to make you jealous.”
I nod almost imperceptibly, but Reid instantly shakes his head, his forehead creasing with concern.
“I’ve wanted you, only you, for so long. Anyone who came before you means nothing to me.” He leans down kissing me softly, kissing me with promise and forgiveness, kissing me with understanding and compassion, and with every touch of his lips, we’re drawn closer.
After quick showers and an even quicker breakfast, we’re on the sidewalk outside the hotel with Reid leading the way to our first stop.
“Today is all about sights and food,” he announces, grabbing my hand and tugging me along as he walks briskly. “We’ve got a bit of a walk ahead of us, so we gotta get moving.”
My heart manages to flip in my chest, the excitement about our day radiating through me, and I can’t help but notice the difference in Reid. He’s like a new person and I’m glad that after all this time we were able to get past all the bullshit to find our way back to each other.
As we walk Reid stops to point out a few sights and give me a little background on things. He knows a ton about the area and every time he points out something new, I ask him even more questions.
“Did you know that the Trump Tower was supposed to be the tallest building in Chicago?” I shake my head, remembering a teacher saying something about it possibly being the tallest building in the world when we were younger. “But after the September eleventh attacks the architect scaled it back. It’s also one of the most hated buildings in Chicago.”
He looks over at me winking and while we’d both love to comment, instead we watch as people take pictures in front of the building. They’re the kind of pictures that are Instagram-worthy and sure to incite serious debates.
We continue on our walk, finally making it to our first stop along the lak
e and just the view alone is beautiful. There’s a large building with a bunch of small open-air shops and restaurants, and gracing the backdrop is an oversized ferris wheel.
“Look familiar?” he asks and I look around. It does strike a chord of familiarity, but I just can’t place it. I wrinkle up my nose, my eyes shifting up as I search my memory.
“It does but I’m not certain where I’ve seen it,” I respond, making Reid laugh.
“It looks different, but it’s from the movie Divergent. You made Caleb and I watch it with you like a hundred times.”
“Oh my god, yes!” I yell out, laughing right along with Reid as I throw my arms around his neck. “I loved that movie. I can’t believe you remembered.”
“I remember everything about you, Sienna.”
His words are like gasoline to an already burning fire, a fire that ignited hot and red last night and has yet to be extinguished. He has no idea what he does to me with just a few simple words.
“Are we going to ride it?” I ask, recalling that they actually climbed it in the movie.
“Of course we’re going to ride it. I already bought tickets.”
He slips his hand into mine and we make our way over to the booth where they scan Reid’s phone and within ten minutes, we are sitting in a massive cart with about ten other people. It’s not nearly as romantic or secluded as I’d hoped, but it’s the gesture that counts.
The view from the top is amazing, scanning basically the entire city of Chicago as it circles past us. Reid has his arm around my shoulders, pulled close to his body and when I look over at him, I’ve never seen him so relaxed. His shoulders are loose, his fingers are stroking softly up and down my arm and it feels like just my presence has a calming effect on him. Given the tension that has passed between us over the past few years, I never would have guessed we’d be here like this, that being together would create the stability we both craved.
“You see that?” Reid asks, his lips close to my ear and if this whole thing between us wasn’t so new and intense with us wanting to be near each other, I’d think he was just trying not to disturb the other people in our cart.
He’s pointing to a tall, shiny black building.
“Yep.”
“It’s the only high rise building built on this side of Lake Shore Drive. The city didn’t want anything obstructing the view of the city or anything built that close to the lake,” he tells me, but there’s obviously more to this story. “The builder found a loophole because that land,” He stops and quotes the word land, “is actually a landfill and the city ordinance didn’t say anything about building on a landfill.”
“What a cheeky shit that guy was, huh?” I respond, chuckling a little at the creativity. “You gotta hand it to the guy. He definitely made a name for himself.”
“He sure did, and the city never made a mistake like that again.”
After the ferris wheel we wander the open-air shops, stopping and looking at a few things, until we come to a small restaurant where you can hear the line cooks yelling from behind a large grill.
“This is our next stop,” Reid announces. “But first a bit of history.” He has me stand so I can see inside the restaurant as he talks. “So this is The Billy Goat Tavern and it’s pretty famous in Chicago.”
“Really?” I ask, questioning him just a little as it looks like a basic hamburger joint.
“Well, this isn’t the original famous restaurant, but we can pretend it is,” he jokes, giving my side a pinch as he continues. “The original owner was a huge Chicago Cubs fan and back a long ass time ago in 1945, he went to a game at Wrigley Field and brought his pet goat.”
“Wait, he brought a goat to a baseball game?”
“Yep, because he felt like his goat was good luck. But they wouldn’t let the goat in. The usher and the owner of Wrigley Field told him the goat was too smelly to come in. Obviously, this guy loved his pet goat and was legit insulted by this.”
“Well, I would be too if someone was talking shit about my goat,” I say, making Reid laugh and pull me into his arms as he kisses the top of my head.
“At that point you have to remember the Cubs were one of the best teams in baseball. They had amassed like a fifty-one season winning streak, so when this guy was told his goat smelled he was pissed. He told the usher and the owner that the Cubs would never win again.”
“And they didn’t,” I reply, finishing his thought. I’d watched enough baseball with Reid and Caleb to know that anytime the Cubs played Boston, it was clear the Red Sox would win.
“Not until 2016 when the curse was finally broken,” Reid clarifies, giving his head a curt nod. “So are you ready to go in and have a burger?”
“I guess so,” I tell him, letting him lead the way.
“Now, one rule,” he says, his tone slightly serious, but something about it still playful.
“What’s that?”
“You gotta order the cheeseburger.”
Next we walk along the river, taking in the beautiful day and enjoying the breeze coming off the lake. We stop at a small outdoor bar and grab a drink where we sit and chat for a bit. We got an early start so it’s only just past noon.
“How do you know all of this?” I ask after he just spent the last ten minutes pointing out a building just across the river. He called it the Corn Cob Towers and that’s exactly what it looks like.
“When I was kid, I spent a lot of time here with my parents. My dad had a lot of business partners in Chicago and during the summers, he’d bring us along.” He stops; a flash of anger shines in his eyes but dissipates quickly. “It wasn’t like a family vacation or anything. My dad would disappear for days and my mom would be drunk by ten a.m. So I’d take tours of the city: boat tours, walking tours, double decker bus tours, whatever. You learn a lot when you’re bored and alone.” He shrugs his shoulders as if it’s nothing, but I know his childhood fucked him up just as much as mine did.
We don’t talk about those things though. We never have. Even when we were in the thick of it, caught between kids and adults as we navigated our world alone. No one wants to admit they carry baggage so heavy that they worry it will eventually crush them.
We both know that moving out to California wasn’t going to change any of it, but it at least feels like a lifetime away.
Caleb and I hated when Reid disappeared during the summer. We’d both talk about how great it must have been to be able to jaunt off to various places, not being stuck in Providence. But when he’d return and we’d ask about it, he rarely would elaborate. It seems obvious now why he was so quiet about it all.
“I’m sorry your childhood was so shitty,” I finally build up the courage to say. “You’re not alone.”
“And I’m sorry yours was, too,” he says in return. “But it doesn’t have to define us. We’re allowed to start over. We’re allowed to have functional relationships.”
I tilt my head to the side, giving him a look that makes him laugh out loud.
“Who are you? Functional relationships? This isn’t the Reid Bowen I know. I think I once remember him saying he was never going to get married because married people hate each other.”
“Whoa, slow down. I never said anything about marriage,” he jokes, throwing his hands up defensively. He then weaves his fingers into mine, smiling as he lifts them to his lips, kissing each one of my knuckles softly. “But I’d marry you in heartbeat,” he says quietly, my heart skipping a beat as I hold my breath.
“You don’t mean that, Reid,” I say, pulling away from him, but he tightens his grip on my hand. I can’t look at him as my heart races and my eyes sting with tears.
He knows all I ever wanted growing up was a stable normal family. That one day I would have a house and kids and a husband who didn’t drink too much or spend too much money or make me worry for my future. He knows that one day I want a life where I don’t wonder about how I will pay my rent and if I’ll find someone who can stan
d by me despite all my flaws. The list is long and honestly, it’s probably a pipedream because as much as I want it, I’m not sure I deserve it.
And right now, he’s offering me something I know he can’t commit to.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Reid
We spend the rest of the afternoon sightseeing around the city. I feel more relaxed and at peace than I can ever remember feeling, and I know it’s all because of one reason: Sienna. Being with her, not having to hide how I feel about her, to have her feel the same way about me, just feels so fucking unbelievable.
And I know I don’t ever want this to stop, not when we get back home or when we head back to school. I feel like my life has changed, been turned completely upside down, but in the best possible way. And I don’t ever want to lose this.
“So, what’s next?” she asks, smiling up at me as she slips her hand into mine.
I lift our joined hands to check the time, before pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “We’re heading down to Wendella dock. We have one more stop before dinner.”
Sienna laughs. “We’ve been eating all day.”
I grin, slipping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. “I know, but I kinda worked up an appetite last night,” I murmur, my mouth at her ear. “And I plan on doing the same again tonight.”
She sighs, the sound sexy as hell as her arms wrap around me, and she turns her head to kiss me. “I like the sound of that.”
The dock is near our hotel, but we don’t stop off, instead heading straight down to the boat that’s going to take us on a sunset cruise on Lake Michigan. On board, there’s a small bar and I lead her over to it as we grab some drinks before finding a seat outside on the back deck.
I pull Sienna onto my lap, my arm around her waist as we sit in comfortable silence and enjoy the view and just being together. The cruise is about ninety minutes, although right now it could last forever and I wouldn’t complain.