It was the stars tattooed on his knees, the full sleeve of bright, colorful flowers he had on his left and right arm that was covered with skulls and crosses that I wanted to know what they meant. I wanted to know why flowers, why skulls, why stars, and why the hell were they on his knees? It was such a strange array tattoos that somehow went together.
I heard the front door shut, the loud clicking of the lock sliding into place, and Rigid making his way to the bathroom. He passed by my door, not hesitating. The bathroom door clicked shut, shutting Rigid away.
I curled up in a ball, wishing that things could be different. Wishing that I could feel something besides this sickening feeling of nothing. I felt so alone even though I had Rigid and Meg. I knew even Troy would be here in a second if I wanted him. Except nothing was going to help.
I don’t know how long I laid there, just wishing for things to change, when I heard the bathroom door open.
Rigid pushed my door open, looking in, not saying a word.
He must have thought I was asleep. He leaned against the door jam and crossed his arms over his bare chest. It was like the man didn’t own a shirt anymore. Jeeze.
“Will you come lay with me till I fall asleep?” I whispered.
I didn’t think he heard me. He stayed leaning against the door, not moving.
“If I get in the bed beautiful, I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off you.” Rigid quietly said.
“Can you just hold me? Please,’ I pleaded. ‘Just until I fall asleep.” I didn’t want to be alone, at least not until the darkness pulled me under.
“Fuck,” he murmured, pushing away from the door, walking away.
Tears fell down my cheeks, soaking the pillow. I felt more alone than ever. I couldn’t give Rigid what he wanted. I was so broken that I doubted I would ever be able to. I rolled over, facing away from the door.
“Sit up.” Rigid boomed.
I shot up from the bed, surprised he was back. He thrust a glass of water in my hand and two pills.
“Take ‘em. I know you got to be hurting again. I broke four ribs one time. I was sore for weeks.”
I swallowed down the pills and handed the glass back to him. “How’d you break four ribs? I can’t imagine you losing a fight.”
“Laid my bike down when I was nineteen. I’m lucky to be alive. I’ll be right back,” Rigid rumbled, walking out the door.
I laid back down. I peeked under the covers, trying to remember what pajamas I had thrown on. Black tank and shorts. Not sexy at all. Thank god I was under the blanket so Rigid wouldn’t be able to see all the bruises on my knees and legs
Rigid walked back in the room and just stared at me. “You don’t have to stay, Rigid, I’ll be fine.” He looked extremely annoyed and slightly frustrated.
“I just don’t want to hurt you.” His words had double meaning. I know he meant physically, but I couldn’t help thinking that it was also a warning. Rigid could hurt me so easily.
“You won’t,” I reasoned.
“Scoot over,” he ordered.
I gingerly scooted to the left side of the bed, keeping the covers up to my chin. The blanket was my shield for the time being.
Rigid pulled back the covers, slipping beneath them, “Can you sleep on your side, beautiful?”
“Um, yeah. It’s actually more comfy that way.” I had a big bruise on my shoulder blades from when Nick had slammed me into the coffee table.
“Turn away from me,” Rigid ordered, his voice tense.
I rolled on my side, tucking my hands under my head. I felt tears building in my eyes, realizing Rigid didn’t want to see me. I scooted closer to the edge of the bed, curling up into a ball.
“Careful, beautiful, I don’t want you to fall off the bed.” Rigid wrapped his arm around me, pulling my back to his front. He nestled his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply.
“Did you just smell my hair?”
“Fuck yeah. Now go to sleep.” He rested his hand on my stomach, careful not to hurt me.
“That’s kind of weird, Rigid.” I stated.
“Your hair smells like fucking heaven. I want to bury my face in it and never come out.” Even weirder, but strangely awesome.
“Oh.” I whispered.
“Yeah, oh. Now sleep.” He insisted. He hooked his legs through mine, wrapping himself fully around me.
“We’re spooning.”
“You going to tell me everything I’m doing after I do it?” Rigid rumbled.
“Sorry. You’re just kind of surprising me. You know, being nice and all.”
“You keep that nice shit to yourself. As far as all those fuckers in the clubhouse know, I’m an asshole. Sleep.”
“Is your name really Rigid?” I asked. Apparently I wasn’t as tired as I thought.
“No.”
“What is it?”
“No one knows, babe. I mean no one,” He snarled.
“Will you tell me? I won’t tell anyone,” I promised.
“No.”
“Really? If I guess it, will you tell me?” I begged.
“If you guess it, I’ll tell you, but you’ll never guess it,” he replied flatly.
“I’m assuming it’s embarrassing. Let’s go with, Martin.”
“Nope.”
“Clarence.”
“Nope.”
“Bob.”
“Do I look like a fucking Bob to you?” Rigid shot back.
“No, but I don’t have a fucking clue. How about a hint. What does it start with?” I pleaded.
“Beautiful, you are not going to guess it.”
“Just one hint. That’s all I ask.”
I started to roll over, to plead with Rigid face to face, but he held me firmly but gently in place. “Stay still, beautiful. I’ll give you the first letter, but only if you promise to go to sleep. No more talking, you need to rest.”
It felt like all I had been doing was sleep, but I would agree to pretty much anything for Rigid to tell me the letter of his first name. “Promise.”
“Fuck me. I’ve never told this to anyone. Both my parents are dead and I don’t have any other family.’ That made me sad. Rigid didn’t have anyone. ‘It starts with an A.”
“Ooo, A. Let me think,” I pondered.
“No. No thinking. You promised if I told you, you would sleep.”
“Humph, fine,” I pouted. I could feel my pills starting to kick in any way. The darkness was calling to me again.
I nestled into Rigid, his arms flexing around me. “Fuck me,’ he groaned, ‘babe, you rub that sweet ass against me anymore, neither of us are going to get any sleep.”
I immediately froze. Oops.
“Just sleep and for fucks sake, don’t do that again.”
“Ok, sorry,” I mumbled.
I felt my eyes get droopy, the darkness getting closer. “Allan,” I whispered.
Rigid chuckled, his body shaking against me. “No, babe. Not Allan.”
Damn. My brain was getting foggy. Oh well, there was always tomorrow or I guess later today to figure out his name.
I fell asleep, tucked into Rigid’s arms, safe, dreaming of the letter A.
<<<<<<<<<
Rigid
It didn’t take long for Cyn to fall asleep. Those pills the doctor had prescribed knocked her out in no time. She was nestled into my front and I was fighting a raging hard on.
There were times that I would forget what she had gone through, where I would see glimpses of the Cyn she used to be. But then something would dull the brightness of her eyes, sealing off the carefree woman she used to be.
I wanted to take away the darkness she craved so badly. I wanted to be the light that made her happy.
I just wanted to be something for her.
<<<<<<<<<
Chapter 8
Cyn
I woke up sore and alone.
Turning over gently, I looked at Rigid’s pillow, still indented from where he laid his head, and buried my face in it. I inhale
d his clean, fresh scent, wishing he was still lying next to me.
I heard voices through the house and listened closely to hear them.
“She can’t sleep all day, Lo. She needs to eat and take her pill. You heard Rigid when he left, she needed a pill but he didn’t want to wake her up. He left over an hour ago!” Meg shrilled.
I couldn’t hear anything but rumbling when King talked. I swear the bastard gargled gravel in the morning. “I’m waking her up!” Meg exclaimed.
“Babe!” King called, but I heard Meg’s hurried steps walking down the hall, than my bedroom door was thrown open.
“Jesus Christ, Meg! Slow the fuck down!” King ordered.
“No! She’s mine! My friend! You’re not going to tell me what to do, King!” She sneered at him. I still had my nose buried in Rigid’s pillow, unable to see either Meg or King.
“Don’t cross that line, babe, you’re not going to like the consequences,” King warned. Apparently King still didn’t want Meg to call him King. Men.
“Try me, babe!” She snapped back.
“She’s ok, King,” I mumbled into the pillow.
“What the fuck did she say?” King asked.
I lifted my head from the pillow and looked at King and Meg. “She’s fine,” I repeated.
“Told ya so!” Meg bragged at King.
King grabbed Meg in his arms, pulling her into his body, and buried his face in her hair. Meg held herself stiff in King’s arm, trying to resist him. He whispered what I’m assuming was sweet words and she slowly wrapped her arms around him.
“Do you guys want my bed?” I asked sarcastically.
“No, we used your guest bedroom already,” King rumbled at me.
“Lo!’ Meg screeched. ‘What the fuck! Who tells people that?”
“I do. Stop acting like you don’t like what we did in that bed, babe. I know you like where my tongue-”
“Oh my god, King! Shut the fuck up!” I screeched this time. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and sat up. I slowly stood, testing my balance, pleased to find I wasn’t dizzy anymore.
“I can’t let you out in public if this is how you’re going to act,” Meg scolded.
I grabbed my robe I had hanging off the back of my desk chair and slipped it on. “I’m going to hit the shower.” I replied as I turned to my dresser. I grabbed clean panties and debated on putting on a bra. I hadn’t worn one last night around Rigid because I was knocked out from pain meds ninety percent of the time. I grabbed a sports bra that was loose on me, hoping it wouldn’t rub against the huge bruise I knew I had on my back. I grabbed my favorite gray yoga pants and flowing black tank top and headed for the door.
“You need any help?” Meg asked.
“Naw, I should be ok. Where did Rigid go?”
“Had some shit to take care of. He texted a little bit ago saying he would be back soon.” King answered as he gathered Meg in his arms again.
She willingly went into his arms, forgetting the argument they had not even two minutes ago. “Do you want me to make you something to eat?’ Meg asked. ‘I can have it ready for you by the time you get out of the shower.”
“Sure.” I didn’t know how many hours it had been since the omelet Rigid and I had eaten, but I knew it had to have been awhile.
“What are you in the mood for, honey?” Meg asked as she followed me to the bathroom and stood in the door frame.
“Um, I don’t even know what time it is, Meg. Just a sandwich or something.” I didn’t want Meg to slave over me. A sandwich was easy enough to make.
“Perfect, it’s only one o’clock. Lunch time! I can make turkey club sandwiches!” Meg sang out. Geez, only Meg would make a sandwich into something awesome.
“Sounds good, Meg. I’ll be out in a bit,” I said as I shut the bathroom door. I heard her retreat down the hall, King scolding her.
I gingerly striped my clothes off, leaving them in a pile on the floor. I twisted the water on, turning it to the hottest it would go. I looked in the mirror and flinched. I don’t know how Meg and King had been able to look at me. My face was varying shades of yellow, blue, and purple, all puffy and swollen. My stomach had turned angry shades of purple, with an obvious outline of Asshat’s boot stamped right over my belly button.
I turned to the side, noticing my peacock tattoo I had on my hip blended in with the huge bruise I had from when I landed on my side. I had gotten the tattoo a year ago. Growing up, my grandmother had believed if you had a peacock feather on you, the eye on the feather represented the evil eye and by wearing the feather, you were giving the evil eye to any harm coming your way, warding off all harm. I took this to heart and had had the colorful bird permanently etched into my skin. Apparently, Nick had been immune to my peacock.
I turned around, glancing back into the mirror, seeing I was right about the bruise on my back. It spanned both shoulder blades, a dark purple band, easily identifying where I had landed.
Looking down at my feet, I saw various bruises from when I had tried to fight Nick off. I was basically one big bruise. I reached under the sink, grabbing a small garbage bag and wrapped it around my cast. I twisted a hair tie up my arm, sealing the bag to my cast so no water would get in, ruining the cast.
I pulled the curtain back and climbed in under the steaming water. It burned my skin, turning what little flesh that hadn’t been bruised, bright, angry red.
Wetting my hair back, I let the tears fall. Tears that I had been holding in for too long. I had broken down in front of Rigid last night, but this was different. I was alone and I could finally let the last broken pieces fall loose.
<<<<<<<<<<
Chapter 9
Rigid
I couldn’t find the fucking piece of shit anywhere. The fucker was like a god damn ghost. I had Edge digging up every single piece of info he could find on the fucker. All he had found so far was general shit that anyone could find.
I had left Cyn this morning when King and Meg had shown up. She slept tucked in my arms for hours, not moving, just the steady beat of her heart against my arm. I hadn’t slept. I wanted to be awake every second she was in my arms. I didn’t know that next time she would let me touch her, so I needed to treasure the time she gave me.
Meg had stormed through Cyn’s door, threw it open, and stopped in her tracks like she had hit a brick wall when she saw me in Cyn’s bed. I quickly scooted out of the bed, careful not to wake Cyn, and ushered Meg back out the door without a word.
“You make quick work, brother,” Lo smirked at me as he saw Meg and me walking out of Cyn’s room.
“She had a fucking nightmare. She asked me to hold her till she fell asleep,” I explained, even though I didn’t need to.
“When did she have a nightmare? Recently?” Meg asked.
“Uh, about four AM,” I mumbled, realizing I was busted. I could have easily waited for Cyn to fall asleep and then leave her, but I didn’t.
Lo gave me a knowing look, while Meg looked at me like I had run over her dog. “You really think this is the best time to try and get with Cyn? She’s been through a lot. She doesn’t need you to make things worse,” She stated.
I knew Meg was right. This probably wasn’t the best time to pursue Cyn, but I needed to be with her. “I just slept next to her Meg. Nothing happened. She asked me to.”
Meg huffed and walked into King. He wrapped his arms around her, tucking her into his side. “Just tread lightly with her, brother,” King warned.
“I am, brother. Hurting Cyn is the last thing I want to do.”
“Alright. So what were your plans for today?” King asked.
“I want to find the fucker who did this to her. Think you guys could stay here with her till I get back?” I asked.
“Of course. I planned on spending the day with her even if you were here,” Meg replied.
“Alright, I’m going to head out. Cyn needs her meds as soon as she wakes up. I don’t imagine she’ll sleep for much longer.” I grabbed my boots f
rom by the couch and slipped them on, lacing them up.
“You need help, just ask any of the brothers. They all want a shot at this guy once we catch him. Me included,” King grunted, his eyes locking with mine. This was why I loved Devil’s Knights and all my brothers. No matter what, we all had each other’s backs.
“I’m going to give Edge a call and see what he had found out. I’m going to see if Demon wants to check around with me and see if I can find anything out.” I grabbed my shirt and cut off the back of the couch and threw them on. The weight of my leather cut settling on my shoulders reminded me of who I was and what I will always be, a Devil’s Knight.
“Holler if you need more help,” King reminded me.
I walked out the door with a quick nod to Meg and headed to my bike Gambler had dropped off when he dropped my bag.
I swung my leg over her, straddling it, feeling at home. My ride was the only place that felt like home to me. Or at least it used to be. Looking back at Cyn’s house, I could feel the pull of her, begging for me to stay and never leave.
I cranked her up and headed out to look for Asshat, which lead me to now.
I was sitting in front of his house, praying that the fucker is here but I knew he wasn’t. This had been my first stop and he wasn’t there then. I glanced at the neighbor’s house and saw the curtains in their front window flutter, watching me.
I glanced at shithead’s house, then back at the neighbors. I swung off my bike and headed to the house next door.
I knocked and waited. I heard no movement in the house, but I knew that they were in there. I knocked again, more persistent. I heard steps toward the door and stepped back.
The door swung open, a middle aged man stepping forward.
“Like I told the other guys that stopped here two days ago, I haven’t seen anyone at that house in days.” The guy shot off before I could even ask. His eyes shifted to my cut and he stepped back a step.
“We don’t want any trouble man. Think if I give you my number you can give me a call if you see anyone go to the house? I’d appreciate.” The guy pulled out his phone and I rattled off my number as he punched it into his phone.
Finding Cyn: Devil's Knights Series Page 5