The feel of her slim, warm body against his must have filtered through Frank’s senses, because he began to fidget and mumble, and when he unexpectedly threw his arm over her, Alice instinctively cringed, feeling somehow threatened.
After a few minutes he settled again, and she gently lifted his arm from about her. Turning her back on him, she closed her eyes and tried to sleep. But sleep did not come easy.
Restless and worried, she turned this way and that, her mind alive with Joe, and the wrong she had done to Frank. Even then, in her heart of hearts, she knew without a shadow of doubt that it was Joe she wanted. But Joe would soon be gone and Frank was now her husband. That was the brutal truth.
‘I’ll keep my promise though,’ she whispered to Frank, ‘I’ll do my best to be the wife you want.’
That’s what she told Frank, and it’s what she kept telling herself, but in her deepest heart, she could see only Joe.
Joe, the wanderer; the brother of her husband.
Joe, her first lover.
Joe. The man who had stolen her heart and soul, when she wasn’t looking.
Was it the same for Joe? she wondered.
Right now, at this very moment while he was strong in her mind, was he thinking of her? Or had he put all memory of her out of his mind and his life forever. The idea of such a thing was too painful to imagine.
‘Hey, wifey!’ Frank’s thick, slurred voice cut into her thoughts. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ Grabbing her by the shoulder, he flipped her round to face him.
‘Look at you, eh?’ His smile became a leer. ‘Alice Jacobs, now Alice Arnold. My brand new wife.’
The moonlight seeped in through the window, masking the leer on his face. Right now, he had only one thing on his mind.
He did not see her regrets. He saw only the shadow of her face and the full, virgin mouth, waiting to be kissed. And he saw the woman…his woman. Like the young fillies on the farm, Alice was now ready to be broken in, and he could hardly wait.
Leaning up on one elbow, he looked at her through blood-shot eyes. ‘I think I had a bit too much to drink…’ he laughed. ‘One minute I was falling to the floor, and the next minute I’m lying in my own bed with this lovely young virgin lying beside me.’
When she made no reply, he gave her a shake. ‘Hey! What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? You woke me up, did you know that? You woke me up with your muttering and chattering, and shifting about.’
He licked his lips. ‘Couldn’t wait, is that it?’ he asked meaningfully, ‘want me that bad, do you?’ His laugh sent shivers down her spine. ‘Waited too long already, have you?’
Clambering on to his knees, he clumsily straddled her. Reaching down with both hands, he grasped the neck of her nightgown and ripped it from seam to seam, laying bare her small breasts, and her pink, youthful skin.
‘My, my!’ He stroked her breasts with the flat of his hand, groaning as his need of her surged through him. ‘Mine at last, eh? You kept me away for too long, but not anymore, because now you’re mine.’
Stroking her face, he whispered lovingly in her ear, ‘My shy little Alice. Mine, for the taking.’
Teasing the tip of his wet tongue over her nipples, he told her, ‘I just need to gaze at you, lying there so young and fresh.’
Alice thought the look he gave her was tainted with evil. ‘I know you’ve never been with a man in that way,’ he murmured. ‘I’m no angel though. I’ve had women by the plenty, and I know a thing or two.’
The smile abruptly disappeared. ‘I want you so bad. It’s such a shame though, because right now you’re still intact and innocent, but once you’re broken, it can never be the same again.’
Sliding his arms beneath her slim body, he arched her towards him. ‘I can’t wait anymore,’ he whispered huskily. ‘Can’t wait…’
Alice began to panic. For a long time, she had waited for this moment; to be made his wife in every sense of the word. Now though, she was nervous. Afraid that he would read her mind, and see Joe there.
‘Not yet…please, Frank…’ When she instinctively tried to get up, he pushed her down, pinning her to the bed with manic strength. ‘Don’t worry,’ he whispered harshly in her ear, ‘I’ll be gentle. I won’t hurt you.’
He laughed in her face, a soft, disturbing laugh. ‘You should be grateful,’ he boasted. ‘It’s just as well that I’m the first bloke to have you! Anybody else might go at you like a mad thing, and tear you apart. But not me…’ He smiled, ‘I’ll break you in easy. So you be a good girl. Lie back, and it’ll be over before you know it.’
Without love or emotion in her heart, she lay there, waiting for her husband to claim his marital rights, and hoping that even now, she might be able to give him back some of the love and loyalty she had promised him.
And so he took her, not in the gentle manner he had described, and not with any thought for her.
Instead, he was wantonly cruel, and with every vicious thrust, her fear of him heightened to repugnance. Closing her eyes, she prayed her ordeal would soon be over.
When at last he finally rolled away, grunting and exhausted, she hid her face in the pillow, silently crying.
Lying beside her, naked and uncovered, Frank was sweating hard. ‘Phew! That was good.’ Rolling on to his belly, he wrapped his two hands around her face and kissed her hard on the mouth. ‘I know I said I’d be gentle,’ he whined like a spoilt child, ‘but I got carried away. There’s no need for you to worry though,’ he insisted in a firm voice, ‘the worst is over now.’
Alice wondered who this stranger was; this uncaring, selfish creature she had never seen before.
Realising she had made the biggest mistake of her life, she wished with all her heart that she had gone with Joe, wherever in the world he chose to be.
But it was too late. She was tied in marriage to this man, and like it or not she must live with it. There was no place for fantasies in her life. Not now. Not ever.
Inching closer, he was in her face, his eyes boring down on her, and the stale odour of booze filled her nostrils. ‘I’m told a woman’s first time is painful, but you did enjoy it, didn’t you, wifey?’
It was more a demand than a question. ‘I said you did enjoy it, didn’t you?’ Reaching over her head, he switched the bedside light on to see her all the better. ‘Well?’
Nodding her answer, Alice drew the remnants of her nightgown together, visibly shocked when he grabbed her by the wrist, telling her softly, ‘I asked you a question.’
‘Yes, Frank!’ She visibly cringed from his touch. ‘…I did.’
‘What kind of an answer is that?’ His features hardened. ‘Say it, Alice…you did enjoy it!’
‘Yes, I did enjoy it like you said.’
‘Good girl!’ He rolled on to his back, quiet now, as though turning it all over in his mind.
Pleased with his manly performance, he hoisted his arms behind his head. ‘What are you doing?’
His avaricious gaze followed her every move, as she collected her dressing gown from the back of the chair. ‘I need to visit the bathroom,’ she muttered. ‘I won’t be long.’
Drawing the robe tight about her, she fastened the belt and went quickly away.
‘Take your time,’ he said, ‘we’ve got all night, and all day as well…if I choose to.’ He spied the celebratory bottle of champagne her parents had placed on the dressing table. ‘Bring me the bottle. When you come back, we’ll drink a glass or two to celebrate our union.’
‘Can’t we leave it until the morning,’ she asked. ‘I mean…haven’t you had enough already?’
His face hardened. ‘What, you think I’m drunk?’
‘Well, no, but…’
‘Just get the bottle…please my love?’
While Alice went to get the bottle of champagne, he noticed the torn nightgown on the carpet, ‘Sorry about the nightie.’ Taking the bottle from her grasp, he promised, ‘I’ll get you a new nightie…all pink and pretty, with buttons down the front…
easier to get at you, eh?’ He gave a knowing wink.
In the bathroom, Alice let the tears flow. She thought of the painful and degrading way he had taken her just now; while with Joe, their lovemaking had been fulfilling and magical. He was incredibly caring, and while she was in his arms, she never wanted it to end.
The tears coursed down her face. I don’t know who Frank is anymore, she thought. I don’t think I love him. Maybe I never did. She was certain of one thing; she never wanted him to touch her again.
Suddenly there was a loud pop, and she knew he had opened the champagne. ‘As if he needs any more alcohol,’ she whispered worriedly. But, as she was already beginning to learn; right or wrong, Frank Arnold took whatever he wanted, whatever the consequences.
Turning on the tap, she cupped her hands and splashed her face with water. She then ran the water into the sink and taking flannel and soap, she bathed herself from head to toe; feverishly rubbing at her skin until it was sore and bruised. Even then, she still felt used and dirty.
For different reasons, Frank was also going over the experience of the past half-hour; not because he believed he’d been thoughtless and aggressive with Alice, but because he felt uneasy about the truth of it. ‘Alice!’ Taking another long swig from the bottle, he called again, this time more vehemently, ‘ALICE WHERE ARE YOU? GET IN HERE!’
When he got no answer, he grew angry and impatient, ‘Alice!’ He scrambled out of bed in such a rush that he got caught up in the eiderdown. ‘Bloody thing. Damn and bugger it!’
Snatching up the eiderdown that his mother had painstakingly sewn together, he tore it to pieces, square by square, until it lay at his feet in a tangled mess.
He now turned his attention to the bed sheet, and the persistent nagging thoughts in his fevered mind continued to grow.
He noticed how the corners of the sheet were tucked neatly underneath the mattress, but what really intrigued him was how spotlessly clean and white the sheet was, with only a crease here and there to show where Alice had lain.
Something struck him as odd, and yet it wasn’t altogether clear in his mind. Maybe it was because she had been too quiet and forgiving, he thought, while he had perhaps been a little over-excited and rough. Maybe he should have been more careful; especially with her being a virgin.
He continued to stare at the bed. Something was not right, he thought. Something curious, and the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced.
It wasn’t long before curiosity became suspicion.
When a moment later he burst into the bathroom it was to find Alice frantically covering herself with the robe.
‘Frank!’ Startled, she asked, ‘Can you give me another minute. I need to clean my teeth.’ It was the first excuse that came to mind.
‘Oh, I see…clean your teeth is it?’ Muggy-headed from the effects of too much booze, he remained by the door, his eyes raking her body; almost as though he was raping her all over again.
Nervously Alice asked again, ‘Please, Frank…I’ll only be a minute, then I’ll be back to you…’ Again the guilt. Always the guilt; and now the anger, ‘…if that’s what you want?’
Still, he made no move towards her. Instead, he asked in the quietest voice, ‘What I want…is the truth.’
Alice was shaken. ‘What do you mean? What truth?’
Hard-faced, he asked point blank, ‘Have you been with another man, before me?’
Momentarily stunned into silence, Alice was slow to reply. ‘I…what do you mean, Frank?’ She gave a nervous little laugh, ‘That’s a strange thing to ask…especially on our wedding night.’
If Frank was uncertain before, her nervous response only heightened his suspicion. ‘Don’t treat me like some bloody fool!’ he snapped. ‘I asked a question, and I want an answer. Oh, and it had better be the truth, or so help me, if I find out you’re lying to me…’
In an instant, he had her by the shoulders, his face leanng into hers. ‘D’you think I’ve never broken a virgin before? Well I have! More times than I care to remember. So I know how it is. D’you hear me, bitch…I know how it is with you women!’
Forcing her head up so he could look square into her eyes, he smiled, a quietly invasive smile that unnerved her, even more than his ranting. ‘So! Was there a man before me? Don’t you lie to me, Alice, because I’ll know!’
Alice was in no doubt. He suspected! Somehow, he suspected, and now he meant to get at the truth. ‘I’ve no idea what you mean, Frank,’ she brazened in a small voice. ‘What am I supposed to tell you?’
‘Who was it?’
She tried to brave it out. ‘There was no one, Frank…just you.’
For a moment the air was thick, and when he spoke again, there was real menace in his voice. ‘I’ll ask you again…I wasn’t the first, was I?’
When she opened her mouth to speak, he spread his hand across her face. ‘No more lies! I want the truth…NOW!’
Alice dropped her gaze to the floor, her heart beating wildly. ‘Don’t do this, Frank,’ she asked. ‘Please…don’t do this…’ Clutching her robe, she wrapped it tighter about her. ‘I’m getting cold, Frank. Let me get dressed, and then maybe we can talk about this.’
Smiling, he shook his head. ‘Talk your way out of it, you mean?’
‘No, Frank! You’ve got it all wrong.’ His suspicions were uncannily true, but how could she admit that she’d slept with his brother? That it was Joe who had taken her virginity?
And even more damning was the fact that she had willingly gone to him that night; even though she knew the truth would bring trouble and heartache in its wake.
‘Listen to me, Frank. There is no one else!’ Again, the lies, and the shame. Never before had she lied in such a way, but at that moment, faced with Frank’s dark mood, she could see no other choice. ‘There is only you, Frank.’
‘Liar!’ Snatching her by the scruff of her hair, he shook her like a rag doll. ‘You’ve had someone else, I know it. I can smell him!’ His face crumpled with hatred. ‘Was it good with him, eh? Was it better with him than with me?’
‘Get off me, Frank!’ Desperate to escape his grip, Alice suddenly realised that until now, she had never seen Frank drunk. Now though, with the stench of booze still on him, and his loud, aggressive manner, she wondered if it was the drink at the root of his suspicions.
After all, he had always been possessive of her, and besides, how would he know he was not the first man she had slept with. Since that night with Joe, she had been so careful.
Intermittently swigging from the bottle, he continued to rant, ‘You led me to believe that you were saving yourself for me! When all the time, some bastard was taking what was mine!’
Continuing to shake her, he cruelly mimicked her voice, ‘I’m saving myself until we’re married, Frank.’
Raising his fist he punched her hard across the face, yanking her upright when she slumped against him. ‘You thought I wouldn’t find out, didn’t you, eh? Well, you should have known that Frank Arnold has been about a bit, and he’s not one to be taken in. Oh, but you…You took Frank Arnold for a fool, when nobody else ever could!’
He laughed, a deep-down laugh that sent a shiver through her. ‘Think o’ that, eh? You! Just a slip of a thing…you actually managed to get one over on me! So! Thanks to you, I would be a laughing stock if this ever got out!’
He began shaking her. ‘No man or woman has ever been able to make a fool outta me…until now! Oh, and there was me, idiot that I am…thinking you were something special. Thinking you were different from all the others.’
Increasingly agitated, he threw her aside. ‘Bitch!’ He began pacing the floor. ‘What in God’s name did I ever see in you? I could have wed any number of women, worthless tarts who had nothing but the shirts on their back; they’d spread their-selves across the back seat of my car and we’d have a bit of fun. They lived in places you wouldn’t house a dog. But I’ll tell you this for nothing! They weren’t cheats and they weren’t liars. W
hat you see is what you get with them.’
He ranted in a low trembling voice, as though talking to himself. ‘Blind! That’s what I am…blind and stupid! To think I could have chosen any one of them, but no, I chose you…the shrinking violet. The pure one…or so I thought!’
He took a long, hate-filled look at her. ‘Looking so innocent and all the time, you were rotten to the core. I’ve always managed to steer clear o’ your sort. The trouble is, you had a family with money. In my book, that makes a real difference.’
Screaming, he pointed a finger at her. ‘You! You took me for a damned fool! And even now when I’ve all but caught you bang to rights, you won’t admit it…why won’t you admit it, eh? Afraid I might cut him up a bit, well you’d be right about that, because if I ever get my hands on him, he won’t walk away, that’s for sure! They’ll have to carry him away!’
Alice tried another tack. ‘Listen to me, Frank! I married you, not him…you! We’re man and wife. I belong to you now. Isn’t that enough?’
‘Ah! So now you admit it! You did have another man when I wasn’t looking. Tell me…was it before, or after me? Did you and this bastard have it away while you were promised to me?’
Seizing her by the neck, he pulled her violently towards him, his voice a mere whisper, ‘Were you saying yes to him at the same time you were saying no to me?’
‘It wasn’t like that!’ Admitting defeat she looked him square in the face. ‘All right! I did wrong, I admit it. But it will never happen again, you have my word!’
‘I knew it!’ Bundling her down the stairs and into the kitchen, he threw open all the drawers until he found a large pair of scissors. ‘And all this time you kept on denying it.’ He was like a madman. ‘I know what you’re up to. You want people to believe I’m losing my mind!’
‘No, Frank!’ In fear for her life, she pleaded with him, ‘I just want for us to talk it through sensibly…please Frank…think what you’re doing. It doesn’t have to be like this.’
Blood Brothers Page 15