by Amanda Cabot
“Would you mind?”
Kate shook her head. “You know better than that. Every marketing manager loves free publicity.”
Gillian wouldn’t be at Rainbow’s End if they arrived, but knowing Kate, she’d charm the reporters so much that they might wind up doing a feature about the resort’s renaissance rather than the former pianist who was a guest. And if they discovered that Gillian worked at Hill Country Pages, Marisa’s shop might see a boost in sales.
“That only leaves Mike to worry about,” Gillian said after she’d washed down the pastry with a slug of coffee. “I hope all this buzz doesn’t hurt him.”
Kate looked puzzled. “How could it?”
“I don’t know.” Though the press that had covered her career had been mostly benign, one reporter had believed he could boost his ratings by being the first to report a scandal in Gillian’s past. When he’d found nothing, he’d resorted to innuendos that, while ungrounded, had made her manager cringe and insist on a retraction. Gillian hoped nothing similar would happen to Mike.
“All I know is that I don’t want to do anything to hurt his chances of being elected.”
Kate smiled as she rubbed her ever-expanding baby bump. “If you really want to help Mike, you’ll say yes when he asks that very special question.”
The question TJ would never ask. As color triggered by the memory of the kiss they’d shared flooded to Gillian’s cheeks, she forced a light tone to her voice. “You’re getting ahead of yourself, aren’t you?”
“Am I?” Kate’s eyes took in the telltale blush. “It doesn’t look like it from where I’m sitting.”
“It’s not what you think.” And, though she shared most things with her dearest friend, Gillian had no intention of telling her what had happened on the dock or how often her thoughts turned to the man who’d loved so deeply that he would not let himself love again.
“To answer your original question, I thought I’d spend some time at the senior center.” Since it was Saturday, Gillian was not scheduled to work at the bookstore. “Want to join me?”
Kate shook her head. “Greg and I are going to San Antonio to do some shopping. I can’t believe it, but my husband has discovered he was born with a shopping gene after all, at least where the baby’s concerned. He wants to kick the tires on a stroller for Junior. Apparently this one has running lights like some of the trucks.”
Gillian couldn’t help smiling at the image. “I’ve heard about men and their toys, but I didn’t know that strollers fell into the man-toy category.”
“That’s because Greg’s not your average man.”
And neither was TJ.
Was she right? TJ had spent a virtually sleepless night asking himself that question. Now he was rowing around Bluebonnet Lake for the umpteenth time, trying to answer it. Was anger what had distanced him from God?
His arms ached, but that pain was nothing compared to the ache in his heart. He’d spent more than a year without the peace Gillian had described, and that had taken its toll on him. Though he’d traveled thousands of miles and had seen some of the country’s most beautiful spots, nothing he’d done had filled the emptiness inside. It wasn’t only the loss of Deb that had weighed on him. The greater anguish had come from losing the closeness he had once felt to his Lord, the knowledge that God was watching over him, guiding him. How had that happened?
When he reached the far side of the lake, TJ laid the oars aside and stared at the small island. Though he’d circled it numerous times, he’d never set foot on it. Perhaps he would some other day. Today he was content to simply look at the spot that had captured so many people’s fancy. It was beautiful, as beautiful as Deb had been. Even when cancer had deprived her of her hair, she’d still been beautiful to TJ, because her beauty had been more than superficial. She’d had a beautiful spirit, and that had shone through eyes that had endured overwhelming pain.
Deb had been strong. He was not. While Deb was alive, TJ had believed his faith was as strong as his parents’. That was one of the reasons serving as the RV Reverend had felt so right. But when the moment of testing had come, he’d failed.
Gillian was right: TJ had been angry. He’d been angry that Deb suffered. If he could have, he would gladly have borne that suffering so she could be spared. But the real anger was at himself. In those dark moments after her funeral, he’d told himself that if only his faith had been strong enough, God would have healed Deb the way Jesus had healed the centurion’s servant.
TJ couldn’t count the number of times he’d read that story, marveling at the Roman’s faith. There had been times when he’d thought his own faith was equally strong, but he was wrong. Totally wrong. TJ’s faith had wavered, and when it did, he’d failed Deb, he’d failed himself, he’d failed his Lord.
As anguish clenched his heart, he leaned forward, clasping his hands around his knees and resting his head on them. “I’m sorry, Lord,” he sobbed. “Please forgive me.”
TJ had no idea how long he remained there, but when he raised his head, a ray of sunshine broke through the trees, the sight filling his heart with peace.
Gillian was halfway to Dupree when her cell phone rang. She’d turned it on when she’d left Rainbow’s End, and now that she’d reached the top of Ranger Hill, she was once more in cell range. Glancing at the display and seeing Mike’s picture, she pulled over and answered the call.
“How are you this morning?” he asked without preamble.
“Fine. I’m on my way to the senior center. Today’s the first tai chi class, and I wanted to see how it goes.”
“I still can’t quite picture seniors doing tai chi.” A faint chuckle accompanied Mike’s words. “But that’s not the reason I called. I was worried about you. Actually, I’m worried that I did something wrong last night.”
Gillian hated having caused this wonderful man even a moment of worry. If she were permitted a do-over, she wouldn’t have run away without an explanation, but the combination of the concert and the reporters had left her so badly shaken that she hadn’t been thinking clearly.
“It’s nothing you did,” she said quickly, wanting to reassure him. “I just wasn’t ready to be part of the music scene. It was harder than I’d expected.”
“I thought it might be something like that. I spent the night kicking myself for taking you to the concert.” Once again, Mike was being the perfect gentleman, kind and sensitive. He was one man in a million, a twenty-first-century Prince Charming.
“It’s over. No harm done.” To the contrary, though she wouldn’t share the details with Mike, some very good things had resulted from her time at the concert.
“It wasn’t the evening I wanted for you. Let me make it up to you.”
Gillian waved at Kate and Greg as they drove by on their way to big city shopping. “What did you have in mind?” she asked Mike. She wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life pining for a man who would never love her, a man who called the sweetest of kisses a mistake. Only a stupid woman would do that, and Gillian was not stupid. Mike was a wonderful man with a wonderful family, and—unlike TJ—he didn’t need time to heal.
“I was hoping you’d have dinner with me on Tuesday.” Gillian heard the smile in Mike’s voice and knew she’d said the right thing. “What I had in mind was a barbecue joint that I’ve been to dozens of times. It’s absolutely no competition for Strawberry Chantilly, so you don’t have to worry that I’ll be thinking about anything other than you.”
“And the food.” Gillian added the way Mike was able to poke fun at himself to the list of his admirable qualities.
He chuckled. “Well, that too. It’s pretty amazing food. You have your choice of beef or pork or both, and if you like fries, they serve regular and sweet potato fries along with onion rings and the best slaw in the county.”
“It’s a good thing we’re not on video chat, because I’m practically
drooling.” Gillian leaned back in her seat, enjoying the gentle banter she and Mike were sharing. Other than last night, she could not recall a time when she hadn’t been comfortable with him.
“Now that’s something I can’t picture—the elegant Gillian Hodge drooling. Fortunately, there shouldn’t be any paparazzi there, although my campaign manager wouldn’t mind if there were. He’s grateful for all the free publicity we got last night.”
It was Gillian’s turn to sigh with relief. “I’m glad to hear that. I wasn’t sure whether it was good or bad.”
“Definitely good.” Mike echoed Kate’s assertion that any notice from the media was good. “Dinner on Tuesday would be even better. Will you go with me?”
“That sounds wonderful.”
When she arrived at the senior center, half a dozen women including Sally were waiting for the tai chi instructor. Though Gillian greeted them, pleased that she recognized most of them and remembered their names, she remained on the sidelines once the instructor arrived. It was amazing to see how quickly the women moved from the natural awkwardness of unfamiliar positions to something that resembled the instructor’s movements. By the end of the class, everyone was laughing, leaving Gillian no doubt that putting tai chi on the schedule had been a good idea. Her only regret was that TJ was not here to capture the students’ progress in pictures.
“That was fun!” Sally declared as she snagged a doughnut and sank into a chair next to Gillian. “I’m going to try to convince Roy to come next time and bring some of his buddies. We need to show Dupree that real men do tai chi.”
“Shall I alert the media?”
“Why not? I saw you got your share last night.”
Gillian wrinkled her nose. “Is there anyone who hasn’t seen those pictures?”
“In Dupree? Probably not. Our grapevine is the fastest in the state.” Sally took a bite of doughnut, savoring what was supposed to be a forbidden treat. “I haven’t met Mike, but from everything I’ve heard, he’s a good guy. It’s just too bad that he’s not a minister. If he was, I’d know he was the one for you.”
“Oh, Sally, you never give up, do you?”
“No, and you shouldn’t either. You need to keep looking for the preacher man.”
What would Sally say if she knew Gillian had found one?
He was an idiot. TJ downshifted to climb the hill, frowning as he thought about what he’d done. Kissing Gillian Hodge was the dumbest, most idiotic thing he’d done in years. It was true that he’d felt closer to her last night than he had to anyone since Deb had died. It was true that he’d wanted to comfort Gillian when he’d seen how distressed she was. It was true that Gillian had helped him sort out his thoughts and that, thanks to her, he had begun to restore his relationship with God, but none of those were reasons to kiss her. The worst part was, even though he’d told her it was a mistake, TJ did not regret the kiss.
He took a deep breath as he crested Ranger Hill and descended into Dupree. It had felt so good, so right, to hold Gillian in his arms, to feel the softness of her lips, to inhale the sweet yet spicy scent of her perfume. His fingers could still remember how her hair felt like silk, how her skin was as smooth as satin, and when he’d heard her soft sigh, it had sent tremors down his spine, reminding him of an earthquake’s aftershock.
The kiss had been wonderful. It had been unforgettable. It had also been wrong. Gillian had been vulnerable. So had he, for that matter, but the fact was, he’d taken advantage of Gillian’s vulnerability. He’d kissed her when her defenses were down, when he should have offered nothing more than words. Even though the kiss had confirmed the depth of his feelings for her, it was too soon. He needed to continue his conversation with God, to learn what he had in store for TJ. Until he settled his future, TJ had no right to take his relationship with Gillian to the next level. But he had let himself kiss her, and that definitely made him an idiot.
Gillian slid her sunglasses down from their perch on top of her head. The sun was overhead and bright enough to burn unprotected skin in just a few minutes, making her regret that she hadn’t worn a long-sleeved shirt or slathered sunblock on her arms. If she hurried, she’d be inside the car before her skin turned pink. Though there had been an open spot on Pecan Street, she’d parked around the corner on Avenue J to leave the closer spots for the seniors.
She rounded the corner, her stride faltering at the sight of the couple leaning against the big black truck, lost in a passionate embrace. Brianna and Pete. Gillian took a deep breath, trying to quell the uneasiness that filled her whenever she thought about those two together. According to TJ, Pete was well aware of Brianna’s age. Admittedly, there was nothing illegal about kissing, but it still bothered Gillian.
A quick glance at her watch told her it was a quarter past noon. Though she’d planned to fill up her gas tank before having lunch at the Sit ‘n’ Sip, this was more important. She climbed into the car and headed back toward Rainbow’s End, hoping she wouldn’t appear to be a busybody.
When she arrived in Firefly Valley, Gillian felt relief flow through her at the sight of a car parked next to the Carters’ RV. As she’d hoped, Natalie was still at home. This was not a conversation she wanted to have at the supermarket where Natalie worked.
“I didn’t expect to see you today,” the attractive woman said when she opened the door. “You got another permission slip for Brianna?”
“No.” Gillian looked around, noticing a couple neighbors within earshot. “Could I come in for a few minutes? I want to talk to you.”
“Sure.” Natalie shoved a pile of magazines off the couch to make room for Gillian. “What’s going on?”
Now that she was here, Gillian wasn’t certain how to begin. Perhaps this whole trip had been a mistake. Perhaps Natalie would think she was intruding into what wasn’t her business. But she was here.
“I’m a little worried about Brianna,” she said carefully. “I wanted to be certain you were okay with the guy she’s dating.”
“Pete Darlington?” Natalie spat the name as if it had poisoned her tongue.
“Mm-hmm. I didn’t want to interfere, but I wasn’t sure you knew about him.”
“I know about him all right.” Natalie’s frown left no doubt of her disapproval. “He’s all Brianna can talk about. Pete this. Pete that.” Her frown deepened. “Just because I know my daughter’s seeing him don’t mean I approve. I don’t. I told Brianna she couldn’t see him again, but the fact that you’re here tells me she’s doing just that.” Pain filled Natalie’s dark eyes. “She is, isn’t she?”
“I’m afraid so. I saw them in town. They were . . .”
“Kissing. Maybe even more.” Natalie completed the sentence. “Brianna’s making the same mistake I did. She’s letting her head get turned by fancy words and a truck. She thinks she’s in love. Fact is, what she really loves is the idea of an older man being interested in her. Pete has a job, so he can give her things like that scarf she was wearing the other day. I’m afraid she’s gonna wind up like me, a single mother before she finishes high school.”
Natalie reached out to Gillian and grabbed her hands. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t lock her inside here when I’m gone, but I gotta do something. You got any ideas how to control her?”
Gillian nodded. “TJ’s talked to Pete—twice, in fact—so he knows Brianna’s a minor. That doesn’t seem to have stopped him, though. Maybe you should talk to the police.”
Natalie shook her head. “It won’t work. My mama tried that with me. It just made me more determined to marry Earl. There’s gotta be another way.”
Unfortunately, Gillian couldn’t think of one.
36
Hey, Mr. B. Got a minute?”
TJ grinned. He was still getting used to his new name. In the past, students had always referred to him as Mr. Benjamin, at least within his hearing, but Todd had started the abbreviation, an
d others had followed his example.
The slight hesitation in Todd’s voice made TJ suspect his question was not related to the latest homework assignment. “Sure. What’s going on?” It had been a week since Todd had come to the evening gatherings at Firefly Valley, and he’d been unusually silent during class, giving TJ little clue to what he was thinking. In all likelihood, Brianna was the reason for both Todd’s absence and his uncharacteristic reticence, but TJ knew better than to rely on assumptions.
Todd looked around the rapidly emptying classroom. “It’s private.”
“Of course.” As soon as the last student left the room, TJ closed the door and returned to the front. That way if someone did enter, they’d be less likely to overhear him and Todd. Perching on the edge of his desk and hoping his casual position would put the boy at ease, TJ raised an eyebrow before he repeated his question. “What’s going on?”
Apparently unwilling to meet his gaze, Todd stared out the window. “It’s what isn’t going on that’s the problem. We used to be a couple, but now Brianna’s seeing that older guy, Pete Something-or-other.”
“Darlington. He’s part of the crew working on the Carroll complex.” Todd might as well know who his rival was.
“So what do I do? How do I get her back?” This time Todd looked directly at TJ. Though he kept his voice even, the tick at the corner of his eye revealed his stress.
“Have you tried talking to her?” TJ doubted that would have any effect at this point in Brianna’s infatuation with Pete, but it might be worth a try.
“Yeah.” Todd was back to staring, this time at the floor. “She won’t listen. I left notes in her locker the way we always do, but she won’t answer them. I even asked my dad what to do.”
Remembering how hard it had been to admit that he needed advice when he was Todd’s age, TJ figured the boy must have been desperate to have done that. “What did he say?”